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collective list of the random shit helen of troy did,
its far to easy to forget that helen is a hero from mythology as well and got up to some wild shit, where is the helaniad retelling "Naturally they weep; but Helen, being a daughter of Zeus, and having learned many counsels from the wise men of Egypt," "Helene, who ate more than any other woman ever did."(he spe-Athenaeus, Deipnosophists
"what time she beheld Canobus, the helmsman, swooning on the sands of Thonis; for as he slept a female blood-letter, on which he had pressed, struck him in the neck and belched forth its deadly poison into him, turning his rest to ruin. Therefore Helen crushed the middle of its trailing shape, breaking the ligatures of the back about the spine, so that the backbone started from its body. "-Nicander, Theriaca "he (Thonis) fell in love with her, and when he attempted to force her to lie with him, the story goes that the daughter of Zeus repeated the whole tale to the wife of Thonis (Polydamna was her name), and she on her side, anxious lest this alien should prove more beautiful than she, removed Helen to the safety of Pharos and gave her a herb disliked by the snakes there; so as soon as they were aware of this, the snakes went underground. But Helen planted the herb and in time it flourished and produced seed disagreeable to the snakes, and in Pharos such creatures have never recurred. Experts in these matters say that this herb is called Helenion." "Canobus, the helmsman of Menelaus, encountered in Egypt during the reign of Thonis; and when Helen realised how strong this venomous, beast was she broke its spine and extracted the poison. But for what purpose she was eager to obtain this precious stuff I am unable to say"-Aelian, Characteristics of Animals
"Some say that Helen was taken away by Alexander when she hunted on the mount of the Virgin" -Photius, Bibliotheca excerpts
"All these personages Helen surpassed in proportion as she excelled them in the beauty of her person. For not only did she attain immortality but, having won power equalling that of a god, she first raised to divine station her brothers, who were already in the grip of Fate, and wishing to make their transformation believed by men, she gave to them honors so manifest that they have power to save when they are seen by sailors in peril on the sea, if they but piously invoke them.
After this she so amply recompensed Menelaus for the toils and perils which he had undergone because of her, that when all the race of the Pelopidae had perished and were the victims of irremediable disasters, not only did she free him from these misfortunes but, having made him god instead of mortal, she established him as partner of her house and sharer of her throne forever." -Isocrates 9, Helen
"The eighth tells about Proteus the Egyptian seer, whose daughter Theonoe fell in love with Kanobos (the steersman of Menelaus from Troy), unrequited. And how Kanobos, who was handsome and young, was bitten by a viper and his leg rotted when Menelaus was taking Helen away from Egypt and they landed their ship. After a little he died and Menelaus and Helen buried him in Egypt where the city named for him now stands."-Conon, Narrations
"Helenium, which had its origin, as I have said, in the tears of Helen, is believed to preserve physical charm, and to keep unimpaired the fresh complexion of our women." -Pliny the Elder, Natural History
(about a cursed tripod, or just a fancy tripod people fight over, given to the wisest man or people will war over it) "There is yet another version, that it was the work of Hephaestus presented by the god to Pelops on his marriage. Thence it passed to Menelaus and was carried off by Paris along with Helen and was thrown by her into the Coan sea, for she said it would be a cause of strife" -Diogenes Laertius, Lives of the Philosophers "and some strangers from Miletus bought the catch as yet unseen. It proved to contain a golden tripod which Helen, on her voyage from Troy, is said to have thrown in there, when she called to mind a certain ancient oracle." -Plutarch, Life of Solon
"for thence he says that Helen brought things of virtue which Polydamna, the Egyptian wife of Thon, gave her; there the grain-bearing earth produces most drugs, many that are good, and many baneful" -Theophrastus, Enquiry Into Plants
"For you may remember the verses of Homer in which he relates how Helen mingled in the bowl of wine certain drugs from Egypt to drown the heartache of the heroes; well, I think that Helen must have picked up the lore of the Egyptians, and have sung spells over the dejected heroes through their bowl of wine, so healing them by a blending of words and wine."-Philostratus "The pan is, it is said, a monstrous sea fish whose appearance reminds one of Pan; in his body is found a stone, the "asterite" which, exposed to the sun, catches fire; it is useful otherwise to make a potion. Helen was in possession of this stone, which carried graven on it the image of the pan fish itself, and she used it as a seal."-Photius, Bibliotheca excerpts
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headshots sheet for a short agaody animatic come future 🙂↕️
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Could you draw child!Odysseus hiding underneath Athena’s wings.🤭

Yepp! This isn't exactly what u wanted but I hope it's close 😅
Forgive me this is super messy 😭 Ive had like no time to draw bc of school
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holy shit this is peak
Sinking Town animation | The Iliad
this took way too fucking long, and it got like 3 likes on insta, please dont fail me tumblr
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been thinking about autolycus and his grandkids
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the thing i like the most about diomedes is that hes full of rage but in like a chill way. hes quiet with it. luh calm rage.
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Helen: *Reading a letter from Penelope*
Helen: *GASP*
Menelaus: What is it dear!?
Helen: Odysseus and Diomedes broke up!
Menelaus: ...what?
Helen: Yes apparently they had some sort of falling out and—...Mene?
•In The Palace of Ithaca•
Penelope: ...Do you hear that?
Odysseus: ...What is that...?
Telemachus: It sounds like...galloping—?
Menelaus: *Kicks the door down* I HEARD THERE WAS AN OPENING!?
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every time i come across this particular painting of Penelope, I get why the suitors wanted to marry her so desperately like goddamn I too would be ready to kill and die in her name LOOK AT HER?!?!
["Penelope awakened by Euryclea with the news of Ulysses' Return" by Angelica Kauffmann]
#the odyssey#penelope of ithaca#penelope#penelope of sparta#greek mythology#painting#art#Penelope I miss u so much
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Here's another of my contrapuntal/double exposure poems, again inspired by Greek mythology. It's taken from the moment Odysseus and Penelope first meet as husband as wife, not as queen and a stranger, when they both know that they cannot yet be together. For those who don't know, each style (bolded or italicized), when read on its own, creates a poem, and both styles together create a third poem from the words of the first two. Maybe these different voices represent different sides of Odysseus, but I think that's up to you.
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Diomedes is not so fundamentally different from his father.
I HAVE DELIVERED
After months of dragging my feet, I finally fished it! (in 4 hours holy shit) and I'm kinda proud of it, but this is probably also the product of my excessive overthinking, but with not further ado, let's begin!
Let’s start with the basics: Tydeus was known for being a wild, out-of-control warrior. His rage was legendary. Diomedes? On paper, he’s the golden child: loyal, calm, respectful, chosen by Athena herself.
But that image of diomedes comes crashing down the moment you dig deeper into his character
On the surface, Diomedes is framed as the “better” version of his father, Tydeus: more disciplined, more strategic, favored by Athena instead of punished by her as stated previously. The Achaeans respect him (not so much leave the poor boy alone let him have his moment instead of comparing him to his father), the gods empower him, and Homer seems to elevate him as the model warrior.
But as i said, when you dig into the text, really look at what Diomedes does, how he fights, how he speaks, you start to see something much deeper and darker: he's not all that different from Tydeus at all when you think about it.
Reading the iliad but focusing on diomedes character its as if he’s constantly on the edge, just barely containing something
he’s a machine of destruction. He slaughters Trojans left and right, wounds Aphrodite without hesitation, and goes after Ares, the literal god of war. He only stops when Apollo himself tells him to back off—and even then, he makes a move again before finally being shut down.
That kind of divine defiance? That’s Tydeus-level rage. It’s just masked under a sheen of Athena’s wisdom and a more calculated cool. Diomedes may wear the face of the perfect Homeric hero, but there’s a savage streak that echoes his father’s madness, just barely held in check.
In the iliad book 10 dio and ody sneak in trojan teritory they catch dolon a trojan spie
Odysseus promises to spare him if he gives them info about the trojans and man sure does he spill
After that? Diomedes decapitates him.
He doesn’t just kill Dolon (after promising to spare him,) he slaughters him, strips him, and then goes on a joyride of death through the enemy camp. When they find Rhesus and his Thracians, Diomedes doesn’t blink—he kills twelve men in their sleep. And then he wants to keep going, like it’s not enough. It’s only when Athena, again, steps in and essentially says, “Okay, calm down now,” that he stops. In this book with Rhesus and the Thracians, Diomedes is already done. He’s already got what he came for. But instead of retreating, he chooses to kill—because it’s not about necessity. It’s about the desire to keep going.
And what’s so chilling about this is how pointless it is, tactically. After Dolon gives them all the info, they don’t need to go murder a dozen men. Diomedes chooses to. He gets no kleos, no divine reward. he doesn’t need a prize. The violence is the prize. He just does it. Because he can.
it’s explicit in the language Homer uses. Diomedes is in full battle ecstasy mode. described as moving like a lion among sheep, grinning and glorying in the chaos. he doesn’t just kill efficiently.
He revels in it.
He likes it, he thrives on the battlefield, and he enjoys bloodshed
"And the son of Tydeus, Diomedes, was glad in his heart as he struck down the men." Iliad book 5
"Glad in his heart" That phrase ("χαῖρε δὲ θυμῷ") pops up in a moments of sheer war ecstasy. It’s not just duty or valor—it’s joy. And when you see it describing Diomedes mid-slaying spree? That’s not your clean-cut hero. That’s a man dancing on the edge of madness.
it’s not just duty. It’s pleasure.
This illustrates how Diomedes isn’t just acting out of obligation not out of practicality, not out of necessity he’s relishing in the kill. It’s not just about the heroics or strategy; there’s an almost primal enjoyment in the violence itself.
The fact that he “was glad in his heart” tells you how far this man is from just being a noble warrior. He’s got that bloodlust burning inside him, and there’s an undeniable thrill in the destruction. It's scary how much he enjoys the suffering.
It’s clear that Diomedes, despite his noble status and divine favor, has that same chaotic, destructive edge his father Tydeus had—it’s just barely held in check.
That bloodlust? That JUST SCREAMS tydeus the difference?: Diomedes knows how to leash it. He’s not the monster his father was; he’s the tamer of that monster within himself. That restraint is what elevates him from being another brutal warrior into something greater: a true hero who chooses to remain in control, even when the thrill of violence is right there.
In fact, the only real difference is that Diomedes is simply better at pretending he’s in control. He puts on the face of the noble hero, but underneath, that same wildfire of rage, that same lust for blood, is burning—just like it was in Tydeus.
Diomedes doesn’t just embody the traits of a Homeric hero—he tests their limits. He walks a razor-thin line between earning immortal kleos and crossing into the kind of reckless savagery the gods despise. The same rage that drives his heroism threatens to tip him into hubris at any moment; and he gets away with it every time.
What makes Diomedes so compelling and so chilling is not that he lacks the ferocity of his father but that he’s better at hiding it. Tydeus is obvious in his rage; he makes no effort to conceal the monster he is. Diomedes, on the other hand, knows how to perform the role of the ideal hero: the noble warrior, the obedient champion of Athena
He’s not more virtuous—he’s just more strategic. He doesn’t kill less, or more cleanly, or even more justly. He kills with the same savage delight, but with the awareness to pull back just before he crosses a line that would cost him divine favor or mortal admiration. This ability to pretend, to wear a hero’s mask while feeding the same destructive instincts as Tydeus hiding the underlying madness behind that mask, makes Diomedes the more dangerous figure. Tydeus may have lost control; but Diomedes hides his control so well, it’s easy to forget what he’s controlling in the first place.
What makes this ironic is that Diomedes, despite all his bloodlust and near-madness, still (in some versions), gets the immortality that was denied to his father. Tydeus, who couldn’t contain his violent nature, ended up punished by the gods; he was denied the eternal glory he craved. Diomedes, on the other hand, dances on the edge of divine retribution, right there with him, and yet, he walks away with not just divine favor but immortality itself.
He’s not Tydeus 2.0.
He’s Tydeus 2.0 with better self-control
And honestly,
I think he kinda fooled all of us
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i think this is my favorite book so far
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I found a painting you might be interested in!
“Ulysses and Penelope” by Francesco Primaticcio (1504-1570)
Description:
“Greek hero Odysseus (Ulysses) has finally returned home to his wife, the faithful Penelope, after battling the Trojans and enduring years of subsequent troubles. The lovers recount their adventures to one another deep into the night. While Penelope lists the suitors she held at bay, Ulysses lovingly cradles her chin in a gesture of compassion and affection.”

THIS IS SO SWEET? AND SO CUTE?
THANK YOU FOR THIS!!! 🩷
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he's even helping him dress omg they're canon
AgaOdy in Simon Armitage's The Last Days of Troy for the soul
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i love you ambiguous and puzzling moments in the iliad and odyssey. every line or scene that come with annotations like "it's not clear why the characters are behaving this way". the ones that have had commentators claiming homer made a mistake or it must be some later inept addition. the parts that make academics say the explanation is obvious but then they all offer completely different interpretations (that i can lovingly collect and compare like baseball cards).
agamemnon's false dream and the "customary" testing of the army's resolve. the unequal exchange between diomedes and glaucus. the entire doloneia. penelope crying for the geese in her dream. odysseus tricking his father.
i love the weird bits that have made commentators through the millennia confused or uncomfortable, give them to meee
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