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Do not devour me, don’t lick your lips at my vulnerability

Take it as a sign, that you could easily love me and rest your hands on mine

Because if you show me you care, I’ll happily take your baggage and offer my softest stare

Pour into me, treat me like art, and I’ll let you swim in my pool of safety: my heart

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could you wrap around me, squeezing tight while you hold

make me believe you’ll never let go so I can rid myself of this hole

where the empty feeling lingers behind the breath of everyone I’ve kissed

and the hollow thud of arrows echo as I take shot after shot and miss

your embrace hides my face and I take you in with my five senses

smell, touch, taste your very comfort, see and hear your gentle words and I’m tense-less

i’ll repay the debt, the one you’ll convince me I don’t owe

i’ll make you happy and content until you and I have grown old

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I saw baby birds that just learned to fly

And wondered if they were ever scared to sit so high

What if they fall, do birds even cry

Too bad I’m not more of a bird guy

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The elevator smelled like my perfume from 12th grade

When I still thought so much of myself

But only now, when I smelled it

I thought that I’m not much of myself

I’m now some shell that changes it’s colors for my friends

And only the mirror can see where the truth starts and the lie ends

Am I plastic, am I glass, am I some soft fuzzy thing

It’s my turn to bat, but I only just learned how to swing

The elevator smelled like my perfume from 12th grade

But I’ll never smell like me again, in that same way

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with the violins and pianos loud

and your hands pressed to places no one else has yet found,

i close my eyes and let my mind wander,

as i’m engulfed with a love so sweet and yet so somber.

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scurrying on the sand, fresh out of the water,

my feelings resurface from the art for which i ponder.

like a crab, my cancer rising

is a hard shell keeping my delicate insides surviving

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I just wanted to know what was at the other end of my thoughts.

I jump and swam and ran and climbed the hills and valleys along my mind,

and when I finally got there, I collapsed.

All that was there was me, on my knees and my head in my hands.

Stripped down to nothing but a naked woman crying in a field of dirt,

with no identity, no person, nothing, she lays down on her side, curled up.

She cries out one more tear and it rolls down her face and falls off her cheek.

A sprout pushes its head out of the ground in reach for a drink.

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you use words like “hot, sexy, funny” to describe yourself, but when i look at you, i don’t see that.

i see beautiful or angelic, and even then, those words aren’t strong enough.

my heart feels full and like it could leap out of my chest at you. i never get the courage to really say what i want you to hear.

half out of fear and half out of not knowing how to articulate it. but i know it, i can feel it.

i can feel the love i have for you and i try to send it to you with my eyes and my mind.

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the smell of your shampoo lingered in the elevator

were you there, or was my mind playing with me?

no matter how much i cry, scream, run

you will always find me in the most random moments

and i’ll cry for the moments we danced, laughed, and kissed

i’ll cry for the joy

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The path to self love isn't really a path. It's more like the flowers you pick and keep picking along the path. Some days you only find a few flowers, other days they're growing everywhere. And one day, you decide to plant flowers for someone else to find, that's love.

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“is it better to speak or to die”

-Marguerite de Navarre, Heptaméron

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i cover myself with armor

when i feel prying eyes

or unprying eyes

small glances and long stares

not because i am a temple

or because i’m a prude

but because i never feel comfortable

like when i’m being seen

by you

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to be floating, aimlessly, in a river

and you there to

nowhere to rush to be

no one else to talk to

for me to be with you

and you to be with me

and us to be with the river

the sun warms our skin

our fingers gently brushing eachother

as the current pushes our bodies toward one another

we’d keep moving down the water like that

until our fingers and toes turn into prunes

can we float on our backs and kiss on our lips

please

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the moon is my muse

she is love and full but changing

she always come around to her herself

but spaces out and tries new things inbetween

maybe it’s cause my rising is cancer

maybe it’s because i can’t stay the same for too long

maybe it’s because i’m always admired from afar but

never touched

never longed for

the sun is out when everyone else is

but the moon hides in the background, in the dark

for few to enjoy

and to say goodbye to and forget about

when the bright ball of fire enters the room

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i sing about you to the moon

she listens and cries because

the song is always slow and full of yearning

as she starts to hide behind the trees and mountains

she dries her eyes

and the sun starts to peak out

without a clue of

what the moon has felt in the dark

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you’re eyes are bright like the back of a green jay

and i drown myself in them every chance i get

i scan your face every time I see you

because you are so beautiful to me

and it’s always those eyes and the way you’re lips curl into a smile

i could admire you all day if you’d let me

i’d study you to draw later in my journal

but the pencil scratches and ink strokes wouldn’t

be enough to capture your spirit and your beauty

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this is the end i think