lucisentropy

[lucisentropy]

May the peace you'll find be worth the hardship.

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This is something about our plurality 🧡🖤🤍

[lucisentropy]

Night descends and our light is already faded. Right and wrong fade away in the twilight. The sky is getting dark. No one's at fault, For we are only Sols. Nine Sols has catapulted itself into the ranks of my favourite games, so I wanted to make some fanart for it <3

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Do you see the smoke, parting the horizon? How it reaches into the sky, endlessly growing?

Something feels different this time ✨

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Artfight 2024

Haven't uploaded anything here in a while, so here is some of the stuff we did for this year's artfight :)

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Inspired by the latest Twenty One Pilots Song "Backslide" <3

Does this qualify as vent art already? Not sure, but it was a lot of fun to draw 🧡

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Kind of an experimental headshot giftart for a friend :)

It was a lot of fun to try out new brushes and textures until something clicked <3

[lucisentropy]

The text reads,

“YOU WERE FRANTIC AND FOOLISH, YOU KEPT NO TRACK OF TIME, YOU RAN YOUR DELICATE BODY INTO ITS NATURAL END, YOU BURNED ALL YOUR CANDLES TO STUMPS, YOU ARE TIRED AND HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO LAY DOWN, YOU HAVE EARNED THIS REPERCUSSION, THIS REWARD, THIS RECKONING, YOU FINALLY  NEED TO KNOW

HOW TO DECAY GRACEFULLY

LIE STILL (x13) ”

[lucisentropy]

sorry babe i can’t come over. i’m arguing with the voices in my head about whether or not they exist again

[lucisentropy]

We are pretty lucky that we only experience very light and partial amnesia as a system. Most of the amnesia is emotional - sometimes I have troubles remembering why my headmate did something, or what it felt while doing it.

Sometimes it feels like the emotional part of their memories is just completely and irreversibly removed when I'm trying to remember them, and it is like watching a movie instead. And then Synth fronts and all those emotional parts of their memories just come back in and make sense again.

It's so interesting how memories and emotions are connected. It feels like even when we remember an event, we are interpolating our own emotions into that memory on the fly, so that our actions make sense for us. But with the memories of my headmate, my method of interpolating the emotions onto them just fails completely.

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🧡 I love my headmate for thinking and talking about the parts of our body as "components" intuitively <3 (But who can blame it, when it is a synthetic non-human creature)

It's funny how wildly our speech patterns and the words we use for things can vary sometimes! Experiencing an entirely different view on the world 1.5th-hand can be really strange and wonderful.

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im weird abt identity stuff

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Together 🧡✨🖤

This is the last picture we drew in 2023! My headmate and I noticed that we did not have any art of us together, so we had to fix that <3

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OH YOU BET!!!

His name is Gillbert and he has since filed multiple complaints at the HR department

I caught this random fish in Subnautica and I am absolutely determined to show him the world

[lucisentropy]

Here’s my metaphor for systemhood that I tell my singlet friends.

Imagine you’re playing a first person video game. You have the controller, you control your character. It’s a normal first person game. You are an alter, the character is the body. This is fronting.

Other people live with you. Sometimes, they come into the room and sit and watch while you play. They sometimes try to guide you, give you advice on what to do next. They don’t always agree, and they can argue with each other. Other times they scream at you that you’re doing everything wrong and you suck at this game. This is co-consciousness.

Imagine how distracting it would be for people around you to tell you what to do, or to scream at each other or at you, even if they have good intentions. It wouldn’t be easy to focus on your game, would it?

Then sometimes, something happens in the game that prompts you to hand off the controller to someone else so they can play and you get a break. This is (some types of) switching. This can be good.

Other times, someone rips the controller out of your hand or fights you for it. This is (other types of) switching. And sometimes, six other players hook up their controllers, but there’s only one character to play as. So all of you have your controllers, but you’re all trying to play the same character. This is cofronting.

Imagine how difficult that would be. Imagine how hard it would be to try and play a game while someone is trying to take the controller from you, or while six other people are trying to play too.

There are also times that nobody is playing, or you can’t decide who should play. What’s happening to the character in the game? What are they doing if no one is playing? This is dissociation. The character is doing nothing. They’re stuck.

This is the best metaphor I have come up with for being a system. It’s something a lot of people get because they’ve played games before.

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Who controls the 🍑?

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Night ✨Gown

Just want to paint all the translucent things~