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Guide To Writing Forbidden Love

This is also available on wordsnstuffblog.com!

Forbidden love is a trope that reaches far and wide, across every genre and every age group. I took what my followers told me their struggles were with writing this dynamic and did my best to explain the confusing and instruct on the often unspoken keys to getting it right. Happy writing!

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Choosing The Right Obstacle

There’s a lot of different things you could put in the way of your characters being together. Choosing these obstacles is not just about what you like to read about most, although that is a large factor. It’s also important to think about your setting and your characters’ backgrounds because these two aspects set up the obstacles to hit them organically.

Internal vs. External Conflict 

A relationship can be prevented from blossoming for many reasons, and not all of them have to do with things outside the characters’ control. Some relationships are forbidden because one or both of the characters see the consequences of them being together as too severe to risk. A good example of this is when the characters are afraid of a longstanding friendship falling apart in the case of a breakup.

The external conflict in a forbidden love story shouldn’t ever be just external. Large cultural differences and major factors will have influenced the characters’ own mindsets, and this should be reflected. They will have doubts about their relationship as well, so show that. It adds depth to the conflict.

Depicting A Healthy Relationship

It’s important that you decide whether your story is meant to be a happily ever after or a cautionary tale. Be purposeful in how you portray your characters and their actions and how you make it come across to the reader. In the case of forbidden love, it’s very easy to romanticize impulse and obsessive behavior for the sake of melodrama and grand romantic profession. If you’re going to depict, say, two characters falling in love with the idea of each other, make sure you also get across to the reader that it’s unhealthy behavior and emphasize the conflict that this will inevitably introduce.

Nailing The Angst

There will obviously be a lot of turmoil and struggle in a forbidden love situation, and the best way to show your characters suffering is by showing how their lives are without each other. Show the reader why the characters are miserable and why they are so relieved when they’re together again. It’s hard to live a life apart from the ones you love, especially when there’s something in your way that you have no power to change. Show that, and the reader will empathize with your characters. 

Avoiding Melodrama

Drama is key with forbidden love, but going over the top can put a bad taste in your reader’s mouth. Be cautious when coming up with plot points. Ask yourself, “is this too much?”, because drama has its place and it doesn’t always have to be super believable, but the suspension of disbelief is important to any work in any genre, so toe that line carefully. 

Common Struggles

~ How do I twist this trope to be original?… Some or a lot of your plot points and story details will be similar to other works in the genre, but my best advice is to take note of the similar details and try to twist them a little to make them your own. Don’t form your story around the trope, insert the trope into the story.

~ How do I show the relationship progressing at a natural pace with a limited number of opportunities for the characters to interact privately?… This is difficult, but can be done. Sometimes forbidden love blossoms over long periods of time through small, meaningful interactions. A lot of my favorite stories with this trope begin when the characters are children, and develop as they grow older and develop more freedom to see each other. Use the time your characters have together wisely and make their interactions as meaningful as possible.

~ How do I depict forbidden love that is in a moral grey area, or straight up wrong, without romanticizing/glamorizing/idealizing it? (For example, cheating, incest, workplace relationships, large age gaps, etc.)… Again, if you’re going to depict unhealthy behavior and relationship dynamics, just avoid framing them in a way that makes them seem desirable or acceptable. Show the issues with these kinds of relationships, and show why they’re not okay. A lot of the problem with things like workplace romances, for instance, in fiction is that it doesn’t show the consequences of the downsides. With employee romances, there can be a large imbalance of power that leads to manipulation or abuse. Show that, rather than glossing over it for the sake of filling your book with steamy moments.

~ How should I approach relationships that are forbidden because of issues having to do with sexuality, class, race, alignment, etc.?… Be mindful of both characters’ perspectives and experiences, because the consequences of these relationships will have different effects on different people with very different circumstances.

~ How should I depict love that is forbidden because it’s one-sided?… This is caused by internal conflict and will mostly lead to drama between the two characters. An important thing to note here is that, even if two people are good friends, any unwanted advances after a character has stated their answer is not okay. It doesn’t matter how the other character feels. If one has made their feelings clear, the other should back off. If it goes any further, be sure to let your reader know that their behavior has become unhealthy.

~ What about lighter forms of forbidden love that is culturally taboo, rather than actually forbidden, like polyamory or generational difference?… That’s a whole different ballpark having to do with the struggle of being an outcast, rather than having major obstacles in their way. I would approach it keeping all partners’ perspectives in mind and be mindful of unhealthy behavior. As long as your characters are all legally consenting adults engaging in healthy relationships, there’s nothing wrong with depicting their relationships in a positive light. 

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My life is like a movie

My life is like a movie. 

The wordless music I listen to are my soundtrack

and some times,

the only music I heard are those of the noises around me.

Wind Chimes and birds,

 the rustle of the leaves in the trees,

Annya’s bark,

the oven turned on,

the rain hitting the floor,

the voice of my neighbours late at night,

even the sound of the cat scratching his neck.

They are the soundtrack of my life.

My life is like a movie.

The early morning sun

and the early evening sun are the color palette.

The color of the cats fur,

the bronze of my skin,

the hue of the leaves in the trees and flowers adorning the gazebo ceiling,

the kaleidoscope of the sea,

the  intermittent golden of fairy lights,

the black drawn in my skin,

even the red I see when I don’t control myself.

They are the colors of my life.

My life is like a movie.

The people who birthed me

and the people who I met along the way wrote the script.

The people who made me,

the people who raised me,

the people who educated me,

the people who kissed me and possessed my body,

the people who hurt me,

even the people who saw me for a second across the street.

They all wrote the script of my life.

My life is like a movie.

The pages in the books

and the sugar of baked goods are the smells of it.

Movies don’t usually have a smell but this movie is mine and it has a smell.

Vanilla.

Chocolate,

animal fur,

onions and garlic,

sea water,

mangoes,

leaves,

paint,

lavender oil,

bread,

strawberry tea,

lemon and chamomile,

even wet earth.

Those are the smells of my life.

My life is like a movie. 

The chocolate cake 

and the vodka in my mouth are the things it taste like.

Movies don't usually have a taste but this movie is mine and it has a taste. 

Mangoes,

lemons,

strawberry,

honey,

chamomile,

freshly baked bread,

peanut butter and blueberry jam,

pills,

tomato chutney,

pasta,

strangers lips,

even the leftover taste on my fingers from the dry flowers in my books.

Those are the flavours of my life. 

My life is like a movie. 

The knot in my throat

and the sting of fear are how it feels like.

Dread,

dizziness,

disappointment,

nervousness,

restlessness,

euphoria,

lust,

need,

pain,

hurt,

anger,

rage,

anger,

rage,

anger,

even detachment.

Those are the feelings of my movie. 

 My life is like a movie.

It’s 25 hours long

and I don’t know if it will keep going for another hour.

The people who wrote the script will decide it.

My life is like a movie.

I’m just the narrator of the story 

and the viewer in the theater. 

I don’t know why I can’t say anything if i'm the protagonist.

Why am I not allowed to?

My life is like a movie.

This is a movie I don’t like, I wish the people who write the script 

will end it soon.

My life is like a movie.

I like to rewatch it from time to time.

It’s not well done but it’s art

and art is never wrong or right,

it’s just art.

My life is like a movie.