macabrerantfiendhub-blog

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Seed of Chucky review tonight! 

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Hey, take some random images. The sprites at the bottom are my edit. Any feedback?

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Forget the Question

I've chosen the song to use for the MacabreRantFiend's theme...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pd3L9-p1xwY

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Apologies

Sorry for inactivity guys! School is overbearing! But the reviews shall go on as normal.

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Theme for YouTube Adaption?

Ok, as you should all know, I'm planning on taking the reviews to YouTube. So, like every good show, it needs an intro. I already asked about "Dragula", but there's other songs I'm considering. Here's the list:

"Inside the Fire" by Disturbed

"Dragula" by Rob Zombie

"Lift Me Up" by Five Finger Death Punch ft. Rob Halford

"The Beautiful People" by Marilyn Manson

"Propane Nightmares" by Pendulum

"Isolation" by Alter Bridge

"This Fire Burns" by Killswitch Engage

Take a look at each, and leave me recommendations. Thanks!

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Would this make a good theme for the planned TWIStEDStUDIOS Reviews YouTube adaption?

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Schedule

For those few who are curious, a new review will be released every Friday. If nit Friday, it is due to school. Because I need to get shit done.

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Alex Murphy (Kinnaman) is a loving husband, father and good cop doing his best to stem the tide of crime and corruption in Detroit. After he is critically in...

FINALLY, THE FRESH TAKE ON THE ROBOCOP FRANCHISE THAT I HAVE BEEN SO EAGERLY AWAITING, HAS GOTTEN A TRAILER. FUCK YES.

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NEXT TIME ON TWIStED REVIEWS...

No matter how much I love the franchise, this needs enlightenment...

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Black Devil Doll From Hell- TWIStEDStUDIOS Review

   Hey guys! I'm on the MacabreRantFiend, and I'm fucking psyched when I tell you this is my first ever review! I mean, before I even start, let me tell you what I'm NOT going to do.

   First off, I will not be giving a scene-by-scene review. I will summarize the plot right before we delve into what's wrong with the following movies. Because, trust me, there's a fucking lot wrong with this turds.

   Secondly, I will not be giving a rating. No two thumbs up, no 10/10 stars. None of that formal bullshit. If you enjoy rants, well hold on to your fucking seat belts people, because you're about to be blown away by this one.

   And last, but certainly not least, I will not, WILL FUCKING NOT, be nice to these cinematic hermaphrodites. They are all horrid in their own shitty way. And I don't give a shit if it's GOD's favorite fucking movie. Sorry big guy, I'm bashing it anyway.

   You know, I should be happy doing this, but I'm afraid that the following footage of the film being reviewed will harm your fucking eyes. It is really that fucking bad. I'm still baffled by the fact that this film actually got a release. That means somebody, sober or not, saw this movie, and gave it a RELEASE. What, the FUCK, was that guy smoking? Had to have been some pretty strong shit, that's for sure.

   And not only is this film straight-up bad, it's filthy, too. It makes ex-rapists/porno shop owners hide it under their desks, afraid they'll be labeled as bad people. 

   And not only that, the quality fucking sucks. It should make any five-year-old with a camcorder feel proud about the cinematic ART they just fucking made.You can even see shots of the blue screen every here and then. 

   Besides that, and this is the final statement I have before I get into the actual review. THE SOUNDTRACK IS SO CRINGE-WORTHY THAT IT MAKES YOU WANT TO HANG A FUCKING PUPPY. HANG. A. MoThErFuCkIn. PUPPY!!! WHAT ELSE DOES THAT TO YOU?! 

   But here is footage from today's movie, Black Devil Doll from Hell. Usually I'd show a trailer, but I guess this movie wasn't good enough for one.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BaC9i2my6a4

   This amateur take on the killer-doll genre, popularized by the Child's Play franchise, was directed by Chester N. Turner. Even saying his name makes me feel vile. Anyways, not only does it have blaxpoitation going for it, it also has a LOT of doll/human fucking. Ouch, splinters, splinters, splinters.

   The film stars Shirley L. Jones (who must have been severely drugged to even consider accepting this role) as a sickeningly religious woman who buys a dummy who looks like he could've been the product of a Kofi Kingston/Bob Marley one night stand, from a local shop. She is tormented by it and has many dreams of fucking it. Yes, even Freddy Krueger would shy away from that nightmare. And they soon become reality, doing it regularly. As a result, she becomes possessed by a malevolent spirit. Because that's what happens when you have sex with one of Spike Lee's puppets? Her and her Muppet friend enter cahoots with one another, and they unite and seduce and murder their enemies.

   And, that's it. Really, that's fucking it.

   Now, let's wrap this garbage out and throw it in the fucking dump from hell it belongs in by doing "Why It Could and Why It Didn't"!

Why It Could Have Worked: *insert cricket noises*

Why It Didn't: Okay, I don't even believe I have to make a single statement. Read the plot summary again, and watch the damn footage I sincerely apologize for inserting into this mess, and tell me why YOU think it didn't work. 

   First off, what the hell is this film trying to accomplish? Horror? Blaxploitation? Some sort of Charles Manson-level sick fetish porn? Whatever it tried to do, it failed. What it gave us was something that made us want to gouge our eyeballs out every time we even glanced at the damn screen. The acting was reminiscent of a school play. The effects look like they could've been done on Windows Movie Maker. The dialogue was horrendous. The idea of the whole thing proves that Turner should be locked up in a fucking straight jacket. Because he gave us something that made me feel unwell. After this movie, I felt like vomiting. I could watch 2 Girls 1 Cup after this, and not even make a funny face. Because if I want stomach-turning porn, I'll watch Black Devil Doll from fucking Hell.

   I'm the MacabreRantFiend, and before I go, I will guarantee that this beats out every horror and superhero film I review as the scariest. In more ways than one.

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I should inform you that there will be a giant-ass gap before the reviews begin. I need to watch/re-watch a couple of movies first. So get your panties out of the bunch they're in and be patient.