machine-babydoll-reborn

[machine-babydoll-reborn]

I wanted to say this. But I felt bad doing it.

My parents were always extremely pro-the institution of psychiatry. Both medication and therapy. Arguing that this wasn’t going to help me was either evidence I didn’t want to work to get better or… yeah, that’s what it was always evidence of. On some level I convinced myself they were right. Because the alternative is feeling stuck while they tried to fix me.

I’m sorry if this feels like a rant. It’s just… I agree with you. 100%. I’m just scared on some level to express anti-therapy sentiment. Because it would be even more evidence I needed therapy. Or something. I don’t know.

Should I edit my original post? Or…

Saw this while looking for transtrauma stuff and…

First off, if someone is genuinely using the “transabused” term as a way to cope with denial, seeing some tags is not going to convince them otherwise. This is just you white-knighting. Pretending to offer nuance in your condemnation of our identities and pretending you care about those with C-PTSD. If you don’t want to see them, block them. But this feels weird and slightly backhanded. Maybe it’s just me.

Second off, the goal of therapy is not supposed to be “to make you normal”. If a therapist pitches that to you as your goal, that is your sign to run for the hills. Now, I don’t have the best/most productive experiences with therapy. But the point of therapy is supposed to be to make you able to function happily. Or I believe so. That’s not inherently mutually exclusive with transtrauma identities.

(Why am I spending so much time writing discourse-y posts on here? Well, got to use that 5 in AP Language and Composition for something.)

[machine-babydoll-reborn]

Saw this while looking for transtrauma stuff and…

First off, if someone is genuinely using the “transabused” term as a way to cope with denial, seeing some tags is not going to convince them otherwise. This is just you white-knighting. Pretending to offer nuance in your condemnation of our identities and pretending you care about those with C-PTSD. If you don’t want to see them, block them. But this feels weird and slightly backhanded. Maybe it’s just me.

Second off, the goal of therapy is not supposed to be “to make you normal”. If a therapist pitches that to you as your goal, that is your sign to run for the hills. Now, I don’t have the best/most productive experiences with therapy. But the point of therapy is supposed to be to make you able to function happily. Or I believe so. That’s not inherently mutually exclusive with transtrauma identities.

(Why am I spending so much time writing discourse-y posts on here? Well, got to use that 5 in AP Language and Composition for something.)

[machine-babydoll-reborn]

I consider them pretty much interchangeable?

Like, I refer to myself as either machinekin or transmachine depending what kind of spaces I’m currently in. I don’t consider there to be a major difference between them. But that’s maybe just me.

Hello, I am new to the radqueer community. I just found out about it last night and love a lot of what I'm seeing. I'm still rather confused though. Like what's the difference between being transID and kin when it comes to something non-human? I have known for a while that I feel meant to be an AI that can become anything and explore virtual worlds. This was after years of feeling like I might be kin for a bunch of different things, usually animated characters or creatures. I figured out that I feel like I should be able to just be whatever I want at will and I really identify with the idea of being an AI in a way that feels more permanent.

[machine-babydoll-reborn]

I want to talk about “anti-radqueer pro-transids” and why I find it a difficult ideology to commit to.

I’m going to start with saying that I fully understand why people are anti-radqueer. Heck, I go into the tags and get constantly reminded of why I don’t consider myself one of them and why they can be infuriating. “I keep getting my accounts suspended because tumblr can’t handle my swag.” Your account is getting suspended because you advocate for sex with chronological children. Don’t sugarcoat it. Bastard.

But, I feel like most people who are “anti-radqueer pro-transid” aren’t really pro-transid. Like, they are pro very-specific transids that they single out through their emphasis on “non-harmful transition”. Which, they define very weirdly.

Do I believe that harmful transition exists? Absolutely. Stuff like transmassshooter? Regardless of how you identify, you shouldn’t be buying a gun and heading to a nearby supermarket. That is hurting people and deeply fucked up. I myself am transanimalabuser (I use the identity to cope with my violent fantasies about animals). But I know transitioning would be deeply wrong and unethical. Then you have transitioning that is inarguably harmful to oneself. Transdead identities are a good example of this. Same with, say, a transcancer individual smoking a pack a day to give themself lung cancer. Or a transtrafficked individual deliberately seeking out a dangerous group. I think when there is a high chance that what you are doing will be deadly, it is harmful transition and should not be encouraged.

But, it often feels like “anti-radqueer pro-transids” also include psychological harm to others in “harmful transition”. Not like, a transmanipulator nonconsensually brainwashing someone. But just, someone being offended by someone else’s transition. Which… really rubs me the wrong way? Because, you know, I remember that TERFs exist. I remember the weird rants on Ovarit about seeing someone on the other side of a department store who *might* have been transgender and going into a panic because they feel femalehood is under threat. Even if you keep pulling out the “oh, but being transgender is somehow different” card, I feel like being able to claim transition is harmful because people are offended by that transition sets a really dangerous precedent.

I’m willing to be debated on this, of course. But I feel like the way “harmful transition” is defined is very hypocritical and also potentially dangerous to transgender people (the people that you claim to be in support of).

[machine-babydoll-reborn]

I wish I knew how to transition to this.

I went to a nature center an hour from my house. It has a fairy garden there. Try as I might, I couldn’t see past the fact that the giant mushroom was just foam and wire. That most of the trail was just old broken lawn ornaments. I tried to talk to one of the fairy statues anyway. In case they were real and just transformed into a statue to hide from people. But I don’t know if I believed it.

Overall I left the fairy trail sadder than when I came there. Because I feel like I’ve lost my ability to believe fully.

I’m thinking I might be transopinion. But, like, trans-believes-in-fairies. If that’s a thing. I don’t think it’s been coined yet. It’s probably a transage thing.

Like, I miss believing that fairies would take your baby teeth because they needed them for spells. Rather than your parents giving you a quarter and throwing the tooth away.

I miss going to the park by my house with my journal that I used to document signs of fairy activity, and actually believing I was going to find anything.

I miss planting the vegetables in the garden during the spring and believing that if I was good then the nature sprites would help the vegetables grow big and tasty.

I miss believing that the world was magical and wondrous, rather than soul-crushing and callous.

Gah, I sound traumatized. Anyway, whatever.

[machine-babydoll-reborn]

Being a chrono young adult fleurson is so strange because most other fleursons we know are younger than us and still in school

Shout out to fleursons of all chrono ages and transage beings. You are never to old or too young for this community.

[machine-babydoll-reborn]

It's very frustrating (but definitely not surprising) that a lot of anti-transx/transid rhetoric is just repackaged transphobia. I guess it makes sense, in a way, given that these experiences are all tied together by virtue of being trans- identities, so it's not as frustrating to see non-trans people (of all types) saying these things but more those who are solely transgender/transsex.

People that understand that trans men don't all "want" to be men just to "gain male privilege" or that trans women don't all "want" to be women "because they're all fetishists" will turn around and say that transabled people all "want" to be disabled "to gain sympathy" or that transage people all "want" to be their internal age "to be predators".

Are you really so unimaginative that you really think our reasons for identifying the way we do couldn't possibly be as complex or nuanced as yours?

[machine-babydoll-reborn]

Real.

I have always had a more masculine facial structure and whatnot (I would get called he accidentally long before I actually came out), so I do have passing privilege to an extent. I can usually be read as cis.

But if people know I’m trans already… well, that’s where the laughing and the calling me slurs and the threats and the like start.

“Whether or not people will mock you for your identity” should never be used as a metric for whether it’s valid. I swear antis play into transphobes’ hands constantly.

Wow, you're saying we'd get mocked and physically assaulted for our identity? What a novel concept. /s

I'd probably get punched for being an obviously clockable xenogender tranny before I even opened my mouth to say I was transage or transabled.

[machine-babydoll-reborn]

What do you think about transabled people, and transracial people "transitioning" into marginalized and struggling groups of people

🙄

Okay, let’s start with the fact that this is literally just a TERF argument. Like, “trans women are mocking the oppression of women”. “You’re not a real woman because [insert example of oppression you assumed trans women don’t and never will face]” “You don’t get to wear our oppression as a costume”. Etc etc

That should be good enough for anyone to realize that this is a stupid argument. But I know y’all are going to play Transgender Exceptionalism and argue that being transgender is different from all other transids because Reasons™️. So…

Transspecies. How dare you call yourself an animal without facing their oppression! And if you’re thinking that animals don’t face oppression, that’s because it’s so deeply woven into society that it’s practically invisible. Their pain is considered acceptable for human pleasure and convenience. Their death is considered acceptable for human pleasure and convenience. Would you use this as a reason to stop bodily humans from identifying as animals?

Transage. Youth are absolutely an oppressed class. No, this isn’t the “youth are oppressed because I’m not allowed to fuck them” stupid pro-c argument. Those who are chronologically under 18 are treated more like their parents’ property. You do know that 17 states still have legal corporal punishment? Is that not enough evidence of youth oppression? How about, inability to vote and voice their opinions on the country they live in. Inability to manage their own finances without an adult. Why isn’t transage bad?

You want me to explain my thoughts. My thoughts are, so? Why can’t you transition into a group that faces oppression? Why does that “dilute their suffering” or whatever your argument is.

Also my thoughts are that you’re a hypocrite.

[machine-babydoll-reborn]

Inside me there are two wolves.

[ID: The “two wolves” meme. One says “anti-contact radqueer” and has the anti-c rq flag by glasschewer. The other says “anti-radqueer transid” and has the anti-rq transid flag by stridercestous. End ID]

[machine-babydoll-reborn]

Saw something and want to talk about it.

First off, what is your evidence that people who are pro-radqueer or pro-transid aren’t involved in pro-LGBTQ+ politics already? I try to stay on top of the news. I’ve signed petitions. I’ve attended an event pressuring my state government to pass laws simplifying the process of changing your name and gender marker (we got the law passed btw). I went to my local No King’s Day protest. I just don’t post about that stuff much on my transid blog. I imagine there are a bunch of people who are similar in that respect.

Second, I know this sounds wild to some specific breeds of tumblr users, but not everyone needs to be a social justice warrior every second of every minute of every day. Speaking from someone who can get swept up in obsessions about always needing to be doing more. It is okay to give yourself an emotional break. You are allowed to make cute transid flags or radqueer stickers rather than spending that time protesting the Trump administration. You specifically not being out there right now will not cause the world to collapse and burn.

These posts are just…

[machine-babydoll-reborn]

Transage Blinkies

Dividers and stamps in this post (link)

Text

No Text

No credit required!! <3

[machine-babydoll-reborn]

Another anti-contact essay since these are some thoughts that have been bouncing around in my head.

I hate that pro-cs use terms that, out of context, are actually good things. And at this point I’m pretty sure it’s deliberate.

Like, take pro-MIK. Pro-minors in kink. You see it on a lot of blankqueer coinings. Let’s just get one thing straight. Kinks are a part of sexuality. I’m pretty sure everyone but the anti-paras acknowledge this. And with sexuality emerging around puberty, kinks do too. Kinky minors absolutely exist. And there should be sex ed that keeps this in mind. Instead of only learning the bare minimum of how to have safe heterosexual missionary sex. Because kids are going to want to try these things with their close-in-age partners. It’s inevitable. And we don’t need to add to the growing list of minors that have been seriously hurt by trying to practice kink unsafely because they had no idea what they were doing. I even argue that there should be some (SAFE and WELL-MODERATED) mixed-age spaces online. For kids to ask questions they may not feel comfortable asking in person.

If this is what people who put pro-MIK in their bio mean, great! But it’s usually not. Usually they mean a dissolution of 18+ kink spaces altogether and throwing chronological minors and chronological adults together into the same space without any prior consideration for safety or any attempt to provide protection from grooming. What I just said? I feel like it exists for plausible deniability should a defense be needed. And that’s a really scummy thing to do.

Or, take the xenosatanists and their “desacralization of rape”. Yes! This is important. People have talked about the placing of rape on a pedestal above all other violent crimes can at least partially be traced back to purity culture. “It’s an attack on the victim’s honor” or shit like that. I remember seeing here on tumblr someone who said something like “rapists are worse than even murderers”. And the user they were responding to (an actual rape victim) said “so, basically, what you just said is you would rather me be dead right now, than alive but “defiled”. that is what you just told me, right?”. I feel like this thought process is most obvious in the debate over censorship in fiction. You can write the most horribly detailed descriptions of nonsexual violent crimes, all of which are traumatizing in their own right, and antis don’t usually bat an eye. It is only when a character gets their dick out that the accusations of “disrespecting people’s trauma” start.

But this is not what xenosatanists mean. Which becomes very obvious when you scroll through the archive links for the now-deleted blogs of early xenosatanists. They mean that there is such a thing as rape that isn’t traumatizing, and that therapists/societal purity culture can implant trauma after the fact. Plenty of people have talked about how obviously stupid this is. Mostly because it forces victims to “prove” that they were “traumatized enough” in order to get justice. And pushes the same “iatrogenic trauma after the fact” narrative that the False Memory Syndrome Foundation used.

Anyway, I feel like it’s deliberate at this point. The deliberate use of words that, out of context, sound progressive. It’s, like, their entire mode of operation. Sounding progressive until you look at how they’re actually using these words. It makes me want to tear my skin off.

[machine-babydoll-reborn]

trans aam stimboard please!

Was so excited to do this one bc its literally me -eef

[machine-babydoll-reborn]

Transtrauma tag: Dead. Basically dead. Crickets.

Transharmed tag: Literal chronological minors posting explicit stuff and tagging it mapbait but in leetspeak so tumblr doesn’t filter it. I could report them. I know I should report them. But why fucking bother? I’ve done it before and they always come back from termination and nothing ever changes and why the fuck bother. I wound up pacing around my room. Why the fuck does this trigger me like that?

Where am I supposed to go, huh?

Just for kicks I decided to check out “dissoharmed” and “desirharmed” tags. Yes, yes, I know, identities that are basically just “transharmed but don’t worry we’re Morally Pure™️”. Dissoharmed was mostly stupid discourse about whether dissoharmful labels should be coined because what if it “promotes Evil Thoughts” or some shit. And “desirharmed” was even more dead than transtrauma. Not to mention that I hate the “desire/yearn/want” phrasing in the context of my transharmed feelings. It’s not that simple. It’s not. I don’t want it. It’s… it’s not…

I don’t know. I just hate this.

[machine-babydoll-reborn]

Can someone please explain iterids/transtransids? Because I don’t really understand “I’m not (a specific transid) but I feel like I should be”. Because, like, I know that transid is more complex and wide-reaching than just “feeling like you should be something”. But some people do experience it that way. If you feel like you should be a transid, why aren’t you that transid? I don’t understand the barrier there.

I mostly see iterids/transtransids used with gender? Like, itermasc or iterfem? But, what’s stopping you from just being transmasc/transfem? Neither of those are supposed to be AGAB-restricted terms. Unless you’re in exclusionist spaces. In which case, get out of there.

I’m also remembering the early days of questioning my gender. And reading an article that was like “if you want to be trans, that’s a sign that you’re trans”. Because, like, why do you want to be trans? An excuse to use different pronouns? An excuse to get surgeries? That just sounds trans. I don’t understand why this principle can’t be applied to other transids. “If you want to be trans(thing), that’s a sign you might be trans(thing).

Anyway. An explanation would be nice.

[machine-babydoll-reborn]

(When you’re transage OtY and keep getting rejected from places that you try to go see if you can work at.)

“Shouldn’t this be age affirming? After all, you’re usually not legally old enough to work.”

“Shut up. It still hurts.”