macosandi

[macosandi]

First Things First: Why Did I Decide to Start Documenting my Days?

As some of you might’ve figured out by now, quarantine and lockdown have not been the best for everybody. Some people are just not equipped to be inside the same walls for long periods of times—and some households are not built to have every member of the family cooked up together for long periods of time. As someone whose family drives her crazy (and someone who, admittedly, drives them crazy too), I need something to keep my ever-wandering mind occupied.

This seemed like the perfect excuse.

So, as I sat in solitude, doing my best to take care of my health, and my family’s health, I figured: Why the hell not? It’s not like I have anything better to do, anyway. Plus, I’ve realized that this time, although highly inconvenient, serves perfectly for me to take back some of the old hobbies I abandoned out of sheer exhaustion or just… lack of motivation. Such hobbies include: 

1. Drawing

2. Journaling. 

3. Maybe painting.

4. Reading an unhealthy number of books in just a week.

5. Learning how to cook.

6. The one hobby that has made me cry out of frustration: creative writing. 

Turns out, writing books is often not as fun as reading them. Maybe that’s why I left it, and decided that I’m just not good enough for the job. Even so, I can’t seem to shake it off. It’s something I like to do, and something think about often, constantly dwelling in all the universes that never came to be simply because I couldn’t be bothered. I keep telling myself that maybe one day everything will work out, and who knows? Maybe that day is closer than I think.

But let’s not hang around that thought too long, shall we? Let’s talk about all the other things I could do while sitting in my bed. Like… 

- Downloading a dating app, for example. Explore some options, and see what else is out there besides a failed high school sweetheart. 

- Google options about how to convince my mother that adopting yet another dog is our way out of a boring routine. Maybe explain to her that betta fish take up a lot more time and energy than she thinks they do, and that owning one should not be just a goal to have a pretty decoration on the table below the mirror. Negotiate that, if we do get one under the right circumstances, we get a girl and call her Betty.

Now, while I’m not frantically planning the future of a non-existent fish, there’s so much more I could do. Netflix is always available, and when not, YouTube is a great invitation to be entertained. Even if the creators I enjoyed aren’t as involved anymore—or not at all—there are always some others willing to fill the gap. I’ve been getting into gaming videos a lot, there’s just something about watching people struggle through a level of Crash Bandicoot that makes my afternoon just a little lighter. And, when none of this seems to be good enough, there’s always music.

Speaking of, all hail the biggest, loudest, Taylor Swift fan you will probably ever meet. I know every lyric, every note, almost every backstory that there is to know. I relish on that fact, and you will never see me shy away from at least mouthing the lyrics of whatever song of hers is stuck in head on any given day. Lately, it’s been Mirrorball. I won’t elaborate much on why, or what the song represents to me. I wouldn’t want to tarnish anyone’s first time listening to it.

No pressure, of course.

Let’s move on to something that’s maybe more important and interesting than my taste in music. That something is, of course, the list of who will be keeping me company through my days at home. Now, just because I don’t have friends around doesn’t mean I’m alone… kind of. I have other companions that keep me entertained and loved-up enough to go through all of it.

1. My sweet baby Olivia.

Olivia. A 2 year old mutt that might be a bit too crazy to be considered a normal dog, but has become what is, maybe, the most crucial part of my life. Don’t take me as a freaky dog lady… okay, maybe I am. She’s like an actual baby to me. No, I don’t dress her often or anything… but her Santa Claus outfit during Christmas has never been ignored. Just because it’s not ignored doesn’t mean she likes it, of course. She’s never in it for longer than it takes to snap a quick picture, and even then, she doesn’t look pleased. 

2. Abby. Commonly known as: Mochi.

While Abby doesn’t match Olivia’s evidently crazy personality, she has proven to be excellent company for when you just want to cuddle. Gentle, and maybe a little bit spoiled, she has lived her 8 years of life being the sole ruler of the household. She might just be my sister’s love of her life. Unlike Olivia, Abby gets clothes, and actually likes them. She has pajamas, and coats, and all sorts of things to match her eternal collection of collars (all with different patterns, of course). All of this has earned her the common nickname of “Princess” which she answers to... when she feels like it. Even if my sister’s way of raising her designated life companion might be a bit over the top, I can’t bring myself to blame her for it. After all, Abby did show up when she needed her the most. 

3. Chris. Simply Chris. 

When I say that Covid-19 has been an inconvience when it comes to seeing your friends, I mean it. Just... not with Chris. See, Chris and I have always been far away from each other. Me here, and Chris there, all the way in Montana, United States. How we came to meet is a very common story of friendships that develop online; one day you’re tweeting normally, the next there’s some crazy person on your direct messages that you just happen to hit it off with. Out of nowhere, you’re best friends and a whole trip is planned around you two meeting for the very first time. Luckily, Miss Covid-19 did not ruin that for us. Chris did come to Costa Rica back in March. It was great... until the entire country started shutting down due to this strange new virus no one understood yet, and we had to say goodbye. Nonetheless, Chris remains one of my daily companions, always being one text away, 24/7. Guess I have the universe to be thankful for because this wasn’t a creepy, derranged situation. 

4. My Sister From Certainly Another Mister.

There’s not enough things I can say to describe Grace, since we just kind of have been inseparable since the very first day we met back in uni. It’s like we’re the same person, while also being completely different. It’s weird to find people you fit so easily with, but it never makes you feel less lucky. From making sure we take almost every class together to crying over One Direction’s songs as if we were back in 2012, Grace is someone that has had my back through it all. I mean ALL. All the intricate, messy situations I’ve gotten myself in, or have gotten dragged into. All the times I’ve cried and been annoying. She’s been there when I need a reality check, and I like to think I’d been there every time she needs one, too. Covid-19 just can’t take those things away. 

5. The Inevitable Disaster that I Adore Everyday: Chloe, Emma, Elise, and Steph. 

While Chris is practically family by now, they are not the only friend I’ve found in the depths of Twitter. There’s always groupchats, and while some people you might end up hating from one, there’s always the group you learn to cherish. The kind of people you scream at, “I absolutely hate you,” to, and they know you don’t mean it while also saying “I absolutely hate you, too.” So, I guess the “Folklore Stans” Groupchat had more to offer than I initially thought it would. These four are always there when I need them, and I plan to always be there when they need me too. Since I know they would murder me for posting their faces, here’s just this very... soft and tender moment. 

Well, I think that’s a good ending. While lockdown and quarantine might be two things that make you feel alone, hope my little list of companions helps as a reminder that there’s always someone. Even if it’s just a pet, or someone behind a screen looking forward to hear everything about your day. 

Maybe that’s why I decided to start documenting my days: to remind myself of the amazing things I can do even from home, and to remind myself that even if I feel lonely, I’m not really alone. 

Anyway, I think that’s it from me. At least for now. 

All the love, Mari.