mad-j-j

[mad-j-j]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/63841393

Beetlebabes is hinted, Lydia&Astrid centric

Summary:

Astrid has a question for her mother about the almost wedding - just a simple question. Nothing that would provoke some mind-shattering realization and self-reflection or anything.

[mad-j-j]

There are ghosts in the Tulpar

There is a ghost in the med bay

she has a harrowing tale to convey

and no one who would hear her say

There is a ghost in the kitchen

he counts the stocks, blindly fumblin’

doing his task so he can pitch in

There is a ghost in the hall

keeping the Coward behind the wall

he won’t drink again, won’t drop the ball

All of them wait, hope and pray

that they'll be free one day

His admitted guilt, the only price to pay

There is a ghost in utility

he knows waiting for release is futility

all because the Culprit won't take responsibility

There is a Shadow in the Tulpar

you know He’s never really far

never fading, a broken pixel, an open scar

[mad-j-j]

I did this to help illustrate a point I'm making in a different post, but I feel it's relevant above and beyond that specific context.

[mad-j-j]

A few months into introducing classic English litterature books movie adaptation to my bf

me: we should watch Emma together

boyfriend: watch the what

me: movie adaptation of a Jane Austen book-

boyfriend: the sherlock lady?

me: ... the... the what-

boyfriend: wait no, the train lady!

me: .......

me: ... do you mean Murder on the fucking Orient Express-

[mad-j-j]

Do you think I meant to write "stoopid" google docs. Do you think I meant to describe a character as "stoopid." Do you think that is what I meant to do

[mad-j-j]

Oops it me

[mad-j-j]

making stuff is one of the best parts of being alive

[mad-j-j]

You seat a table of three for breakfast and the woman says hmm yes I will have a loaded waffle tower please and you say ma'am that's a children's item and she says so and you say okay fine and the man who brought a whole laptop in says ah, I will have what the lady is having and an orange soda and you say for breakfast and he says of course and then the guy who is clearly a criminal says what kind of bread do you use for your French toast and you say ... White and he says can I sub brioche and you say we don't have brioche and he sighs and says I'll get the rooty tooty... Whatever the cowboy omelette and the other two start razzing him about being a cowboy and when you come to check up on them the woman is playing airplane with the loaded waffle tower trying to get the criminal to eat it and they tip $200 and your watch has been replaced with a better watch

[mad-j-j]

Pros of re-reading your own fic

a good time;

Has exactly the tropes you like and the characterization you want to read;

Gratification: yes you did finish a thing and yes you did do good;

just a very fun time all around.

Cons of re-reading your own fic:

Is that another TYpO

[mad-j-j]

Let me tell you something, never has a show made me love all the interpersonal dynamics like Leverage.

The flirty will they/ can they of parker/hardison- oh i am down bad for that.

The unlikely older brother-little brotherhood of hardison/elliot- im cuddled up next to it with a bowl of popcorn.

The grieving king protective knight that is Elliot/nate- you have my sword.

The classic enemies-who-want-to-bang to lovers-who-do-bang that is nate/sophie- its a classic for a reason.

The aunt who has no idea what their nephew does but is proud and supportive anyways and the exasperated nephew who’s trying his best to explain it for the fifth time that is sophie/hardison- rare and under appreciated but not by me

The father figure pushing the child he cares for to be his very best and prove how incredibly brilliant they actually are that is hardison/nate- so freaking sweet.

The protective dad neurodivergent child that is nate/parker-in tears.

The older sister teaching the younger sister how to interact with the world that is parker/sophie-i think a hole in my heart healed.

The growth of a genuine deep friendship between sophie/elliot- im eating it like a five course meal

The exasperated, yet, super protective eldest sibling and rascally poking-you-with-a-stick-for-fun younger sibling that is elliot/parker- i need that stored for rainy days

[mad-j-j]

When I was a kid I kept failing classes because I'd lose my homework. I'd finish it, but between the dining room table and the classroom it would just walk away. Sometimes it ended up in my backpack, sometimes it didn't; sometimes I finished the homework at school and it got home in my backpack but wasn't there the next day.

To attempt to address this, my parents got me a neon orange folder to put in my backpack; it was my homework folder, all homework was to go into that folder and that folder only, and it was to only come out of that folder when it was being worked on. I was to put homework in the homework folder as soon as it was assigned and if I'd worked on it, put it back in the folder as soon as it was finished. The logic here was that using the folder was supposed to be automatic, and you wanted a bright color so it wouldn't get lost in the depths of a backpack.

I think I lost about eight of those before my parents stopped buying orange folders.

So it was very frustrating to search "how to be organized at work as an adult with ADHD" only to get a list that said "set alarms and write things down and try to make friends with a more organized person" which was immediately followed by tips to help your ADHD child stay organized and the one right at the top was to put their homework in a bright folder so they couldn't lose it.

If you have been harmed by the ADHD Tips Industrial Complex you may be entitled to a packet of fun-dip and a cactus cooler as consolation for losing your homework folder again.

[mad-j-j]

Incorrect Leverage quotes [7/?]

[mad-j-j]

HA turns out the one pill box they had left was for someone who had ordered it and they got confused, i ain't gonna get any meds period lol

i am gonna have such a shitty month

Chose the best time to order my ADHD prescription in a pharmacy last minute it seems, since there's a shortage of the meds. I now have to go fetch it an hour away from where i usually pick it up where they still have one in stock - which I am more than ready to do so my brain doesn't turn into a depressive/confused/overstimulated/understimulated mush for a month.

But it just hit me that when the pharmacist triple checked that I would pick up the meds, and that she said "because otherwise people who really need it wouldn't have it", my first go to, in my brain, was "Ah yes, I am being selfish taking this for myself, she is calling me out." Not, yknow, "But I'm one of the people who really needs it!"

I find myself barely functionning WITH the meds, and I am already thinking of the nightmare being without would be, but I am still putting my needs last and pushing myself down. Getting tired of having to advocate for myself against my own gaslighting.

[mad-j-j]

Chose the best time to order my ADHD prescription in a pharmacy last minute it seems, since there's a shortage of the meds. I now have to go fetch it an hour away from where i usually pick it up where they still have one in stock - which I am more than ready to do so my brain doesn't turn into a depressive/confused/overstimulated/understimulated mush for a month.

But it just hit me that when the pharmacist triple checked that I would pick up the meds, and that she said "because otherwise people who really need it wouldn't have it", my first go to, in my brain, was "Ah yes, I am being selfish taking this for myself, she is calling me out." Not, yknow, "But I'm one of the people who really needs it!"

I find myself barely functionning WITH the meds, and I am already thinking of the nightmare being without would be, but I am still putting my needs last and pushing myself down. Getting tired of having to advocate for myself against my own gaslighting.

[mad-j-j]

my favorite thing about leverage is that all the other criminals on the show think that the leverage crew is super hardcore and ruthless and pulls all sorts of impossible, shady jobs but actually they’re a bunch of well-intentioned nerds who do the equivalent of pro-bono cases

[mad-j-j]

I’m starting to sound like a nutcase at work because upper management keeps trying to implement AI programs and AI assistants and Chat GPT and my middle-of-the-road, don’t-infodump, don’t-engage response has been “I don’t like AI”, “I prefer to remain in control of my own tasks”, “I’d rather make my own mistakes”, and “I don’t trust any machine smarter than a toaster”

[mad-j-j]

adhd will get you thinking "i should make this doctors appointment" every day for 7 months and counting