madeforsomethingmore

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maddie

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is this thing on?

so now that tumblr is back to being uncommon like it was when I was 15 (12 years ago...) maybe I should blog my feelings? Looking back on posts when I was younger makes me sad but at the same time I don’t keep a journal and it’s nice to have a tangible memory snapshot.

Ok where to start?

I’m 27 next month, and I also finish my Bachelor’s Degree in Kinesiology. I’m currently waiting to hear back from a university in the UK to see if I got into their masters program in Sport Psychology.

COVID has been active in Canada for a year. This is a super privileged thing to say but it’s been one of the best years of my life in terms of growth. I did a lot of inner healing work.  I’ve changed a lot of times in this life, and so drastically, but this one felt like I was arriving somewhere. Like I’m HERE, you know?

Being isolated and alone has been incredible. I hated it. I’m so extroverted and willing to distract myself with things and others and being forced to deal with my shit was kind of like “hey dude you’ve got a lot of suppressed shit - lets deal with it together xoxo love isolation”

Anyways. What else?

Never felt more like a person. I love myself so much it’s ridiculous. And I don’t even feel the need to justify or explain. There’s just such a peace inside of me. 

It’s such a stark contrast if you scroll all the way to my oldest posts I HATED myself. I wanted to die, I was so depressed.  I self harmed, I restricted calories. And its baffling to me because I don’t even know how I got out of it. I don’t know what happened after turning 22. The year of 2015/2016 kickstarted growth in ways I didn’t even realize it was taking me. 

Maybe that’s enough for tonight? 

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Should I return to blogging?

I haven’t posted on here in almost a year.  I'm currently going through my oldest posts from ELEVEN years ago and its like a sneak peek into who I was at that time.  Writing in a diary is fine too but it’s nice to just be able to type my thoughts out. Now that Tumblr isn’t used as much, I could return to speaking my mind.  It’s been a long time since I spoke about my life on here and writing is pretty cathartic. 

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How amazing it is to find someone who wants to hear about all the things that go on in your head.

(via alunit)

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Identifying abuse/types of abuse :

Is this abuse? Physical Abuse Emotional/Verbal Abuse Sexual Abuse Financial Abuse Digital Abuse Stalking What is Gaslighting?

Currently in unhealthy/abusive relationship:

Building support systems while in an unhealthy relationship Tips for safely reaching out for support  How to tell someone about an abusive relationship  I live with my abuser Safe Pregnancy while in an abusive relationship  I have Children with my abuser Documenting abuse Help, my partner is blackmailing me When your partner threatens suicide  Should we Break up?

Safety Planning:

Interactive Guide Safety Planning  Emotional Safety Planning  Safety planning around Sexual Abuse  Social Networking Safety Safety Planning for the Holidays After Breakup: Tech Safety Checklist    Breaking up Safely

Getting help:

Help a friend Help a parent Help a co-worker Help a stranger Help my child Someone I know is being abused: should I call the police? Calling the police Restraining order LGBT and the law Help for undocumented immigrants Referrals

Self Care:

What is self care? Coping tips (via Yourlifeyourvoice) Self care tips (via Scarlateen) Self care for abuse and trauma survivors

Questions about abuse:

Why do people abuse? Why do people stay? Drugs/Alcohol and Abuse Abusive LGBT Relationships Does mental illness cause abuse? Why am I struggling to move on after abuse? Am I abusive too? The myth of mutual abuse

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my fave greek history story to tell is that of agnodice. like she noticed that women were dying a lot during childbirth so she went to egypt to study medicine in alexandria and was really fucking good but b/c it was illegal for women to be doctors in athens she had to pretend to be a man. and then the other doctors noticed that she was 10x better than them and accused her of seducing and sleeping with the women patients. like they brought her to court for this. and she just looked at them and these charges and stripped in front of everyone like “yeah. im not fucking your wives” and then they got so mad that a woman was better at their jobs then them that they tried to execute her but all her patients came to court and were like “are you fucking serious? she is the reason you have living children and a wife.” so they were shamed into changing the law and that is how women were given the right to practice medicine in athens

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what’s new

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Why do men always have to act like they gotta teach you shit… like?? I don’t know who fuckin asked you but it sure wasn’t me so keep your motivation speeches to yourself