madly-me

[madly-me]

Choose your battles. Keep your peace.

Albert Camus

[madly-me]

“I can do nothing for you but work on myself. You can do nothing for me but work on yourself.”

— Ram Dass

[madly-me]

[madly-me]

[madly-me]

[madly-me]

“The poison leaves bit by bit, not all at once. Be patient. You are healing.”

— Yasmin Mogahed (via thoughtkick)

[madly-me]

Reminding me to forget

[madly-me]

I don’t need you to keep coming in and out of it, it’s like you want to stay but don’t .

[madly-me]

And through it ALL, I shouldn’t have trusted or go to other people. They’re all fake. But only my god will help me get through these obstacles. Only my god can promise me something and see me through it. I now know better than to lean on others, I lean on my god, the way the truth the light. And that’s it. It’s crazy how much BS you can see in people.

I never needed all you fakes and users. I am above it and my god stands before me. You tricks can’t stand against me. I am meant for bigger and better things. Watch me level up. Give me all the trials and hardships I’m going to come out better and stronger than you abusers.

[madly-me]

When we first started talking I knew I wanted this to be permanent . Not because I wanted to waste your time or felt lonely. But because there was something about you that made you so perfect in my eyes. When I hear your voice, see your face, or just being in your presence , I feel like I can breathe again. I don’t need you. I want you.

To A.M.C 💛

[madly-me]

Note to self !

I just never learn -.- really need to trust my instincts . It is always right

“Always, always trust your first gut instincts. If you feel something’s wrong, it usually is.”

— Unknown

[madly-me]

[madly-me]

“The right person makes consistent deposits into your heart and sees you as a long term investment. The wrong person makes withdrawals and leaves you emotionally and mentally bankrupt.”

— Unknown

[madly-me]

“My alone feels so good. I’ll only have you if you’re sweeter than my solitude.”

— Warsan Shire

[madly-me]

Well that woke me up.

[madly-me]

Truth.

So MANY people are just settling because they fear loneliness. But let me tell you, for someone who’s been in long lasting relationships that failed… it was life shattering… my last one really fcked me up… but I committed to myself and my journey. It is true… she will find herself and he will find someone new. & that’s exactly what has happened.

I’ve been single for 5 years now… dated a good friend for 3.5 years but It never really lifted off the ground… but that was the time I was solely focusing on myself. Putting my Mental health first. Physical health following with emotional health. Those are 3 main things we need to focus on as an individual. It’s so EASY to get lost in this life. So many times I’ve hit depression hard, saw a psychiatrist and counseling, I was willing to do anything to HELP ME! No one else can help me from the sadness I was drowning in. The feeling of emptiness you can’t even explain. I look back and I thank god I chose ME! It was an on going battle… flashbacks of my past toxic relationships, the guy I was seeing, the nostalgia , the EVERYTHING, everything… but content, but happiness, but anything positive. It was dark. But I wouldn’t change it for the world… I learned through that process, I have evolved, I am more stable than I could have been. I love my life and I love myself. & it too the hardest times and the darkness for me to see the light inside myself . He is now married with the girl he cheated on me with… and I have nothing but well wishes for them.

But when I hear and see that he’s taken her to the places him and I have been too… it’s nothing but a toot to my ego . It’s fine he’s making new memories with her… but at the end of the day… the reason why he chose those places is because of him&i. You can’t fool me. At the end of it all, a part of your heart is twisted at the pain you caused me. & I’m okay now! But that’s something YOU have to live with. It doesn’t go away… why? Because you never sought help nor did you soak it all in on your own. You will never find peace ☮️ but that’s just between you and I. Anyone can fake the funk. But to be genuinely happy… that’s something REAL.

I am now a Working Sonographer and still a pharmacy tech for a well known company. I am blessed than ever because I’ve finally came to peace with it. And that’s the biggest thing I can do for myself. Is to accept what was done to me and turn it into strength. That when I look back at my broken past I say nothing but thank you with no ounce of hurt or bitterness. Because healed people are stronger than ever mentally, physically, and emotionally.

“Never allow loneliness to drive you into the arms of someone you know you don’t belong with.”

— Unknown

[madly-me]

Sad but true, till this day you were my dream man . Charming , successful, hot , and a gentleman. But no ones that perfect … because all that … still doesn’t erase the hurt I endured from you…

“Out of all the people in this world, I can’t imagine myself loving anyone other than you.”

— Unknown