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CAN’T WAIT TO MOVE INTO A SIMPLE APARTMENT WITH THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AND FALL ASLEEP AND WAKE UP NEXT TO THEM AND COOK DINNER WITH THEM AND HAVE RANDOM MIDNIGHT TRIPS AND STAY UP LATE PLAYING VIDEO GAMES OR WATCHING MOVIES AND BEING ABLE TO SHARE EVERY MOMENT OF MY LIFE WITH THEM.

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‘Cause I’m losing faith

So I brought it up in a desperate prayer

Lord, why are You keeping me here

Then He said, “Child, I’m planting seeds

‘Cause I’m a good God with, and a good plan

So trust that I’m holding a watering can

And someday you’ll see that flowers grow in the valley”

I left my job in July 2023 in the hopes of a better future. I wanted to try something I haven’t tried before - leaving the country to study and hopefully, save enough money for my future - whatever that was. But this morning, I received devastating news that my application was refused due to reasons they cited, and my first thought was, “how do I tell my mom?”

I was the one who wanted this so much, but she was the one who sacrificed a lot despite her age so I can pursue this dream. I feel like such a failure and disappointment. And as an only girl in the family, I feel like the weight of disappointment is very heavy on me. Ako kasi ‘yung anak na hindi na dapat nila inaalala.. ‘yung anak na masunurin (most of the time) and ayaw na ayaw kong ma-disappoint sila kasi feeling ko my siblings have already had their fair share of messes and ayaw ko nang dumagdag pa. Ayoko ma-feel nila na they’re failing as parents kasi ‘yung mga anak nila puro nakaasa sa kanila. I didn’t want to be that child, pero in the end, eto ako, another palamunin pa rin sa bahay despite being 30.

Ang lakas pa ng loob kong umalis sa trabaho ko to pursue this dream kahit wala akong savings. Pride ko talaga ‘to. Nahihiya ako sa nanay ko talaga.

I don’t know how I’m gonna pick myself up after this huge fall. Sa dami ng ganap sa mundo, parang wala akong karapatang magmukmok, though I know na that’s not really how the world works. Ang hirap lang mag wallow when I’m not only thinking of myself. Hindi pwedeng puro mukmok kasi di naman ako mabubusog ng pagmumukmok ko.

Bilang ako ‘to, ayokong maging mas pabigat pa. Hanap trabaho na ulit muna kasi hindi ako pinanganak na mayaman. Masipag lang talaga magulang ko kaya nakapag provide ng lahat ng meron kami. At ngayon kahit wala akong trabaho, hindi ako nagugutom kasi andyan pa rin si mama na ‘di kami pinababayaan. Ginagawa ko lang best ko talaga para mag-ambag sa bahay para ‘di naman masyadong nakakahiya. Linis, laba, drive dito, drive doon. Sobra lang akong nagiguilty kasi ayaw kong ma-feel ni mama na lahat na lang sasaluhin niya. ‘Yung mga kapatid ko kasi nagsipag-asawa na. Pero nakaalalay pa rin si mama sa’ming lahat. Siya nagpapaaral dun sa panganay kong pamangkin. Pag kailangan ng extra pera kasi kulang, kay mama sila lumalapit. Ako na walang trabaho, nakaasa lang rin kay mama. Ayoko ng ganitong buhay talaga kaya malungkot man, kailangan ko munang isantabi pride ko at bumangon na ulit. ‘Yung fact lang na hindi na ako dumagdag pa is enough for me.

Kaya ipagpray nyo rin ako Tumblr friends. Sana matanggap na ko ulit sa work soon para sa ikatatahimik ng kalooban ko at utak ko.

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Hello 😇👋,

My family and I are facing incredibly difficult times due to the ongoing war in Gaza 💔. Our dreams and future have been shattered, leaving us feeling lost and without purpose. My brother Anas and I have launched a GoFundMe campaign to help us escape Gaza, continue our education, and support our family.

Making a small donation or sharing the campaign — would mean the world to us.

Link: https://gofund.me/9c46877a

Thank you so much for your kindness and support 💖

With gratitude,

Ahmed Basil

Vetted by @90-ghost & @gazavetters

🍃

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Describe your day in one song lyric and leave no explanation.

Lord, why are you keeping me here

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If you could design your dream house, what unique feature would it have?

I’m such a basic person, I don’t know if I could put anything unique in my dream house. I just want to have a spacious patio where I can I can enjoy coffee alone or with family and friends. As in yung malawak na patio na may puno and picnic table with chairs tas pwede mga 3-5 cars parking

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San ba peede magpa ghost write ng research paper? Lol bakit ba kasi ako pumayag na mag take ng master’s na di ko naman bet yung course 😅 oo na, kasalanan ko ‘to huhu

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This is temporary. You have not stagnated. You are not a failure. You will heal, you will recover, you will have a beautiful life. It is waiting for you.

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i really hate goblet of fire cos of the many bad things that happened to harry and his friends. it was the movie that solidified the return of voldemort. 😡 lol

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anonymously make an assumption about me and i'll confirm/deny it

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Thirty, flirty (?) and what??? 🤷🏽‍♀️ (gusto ko sana thriving, but I guess God had other plans 😅)

Welcoming the big 3️⃣ 0️⃣! 🥳

This is me at thirty. Didn’t really have anything planned until the last minute. I wasn’t sure how I’d be welcoming my birthday this year. I thought by now I’d be at the other side of the world, in another time zone, celebrating with my relatives, but I guess God has greater plans – He always does! With the recent happenings in our lives, I was reminded, yet again, that it’s His timing that always prevails, not mine.

Still praying that His will be done, always. And I really pray that it aligns with my heart’s desires and my plans and hopes for my future. 🙏🏽

Thank you always, Lord, for the gift of life. Thank you to my family and friends for always being there for me! Thank you to everyone for sending me all their birthday love! 💖 you’re all reminders of God’s blessings in my life. Siksik, liglig, umaapaw pa!

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Bakit ganun, ano? Tinatry ko naman best ko para maging mabuti – mabuting anak, mabuting kapatid, mabuting hipag, mabuting tita, mabuting girlfriend, mabuting apo, mabuting pamangkin, mabuting lahat na. Hindi naman ako humihingi ng kapalit. Kaya lang minsan pakiramdam ko parang wala pa rin akong silbi. Habang ginagawa ko ang best ko para sa iba, yung buhay ko parang walang pinatutunguhan. Nakakapagod. Nakakaiga. Parang minsan gusto ko na lang tumigil. Ayokong gumawa ng kahit ano. O baka nga nag-eexpect talaga ako ng something from the universe, ayaw ko lang talagang aminin sa sarili ko? Siguro nga ganun. Kaya siguro walang magandang nangyayari para sa'kin. Kasalanan ko rin nga siguro talaga. ☹️

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my boyfriend reminding me that it's my birth month already! 🥳 just a few more weeks and i'll be turning 30 (taas ang kamay nung mga inabutan si Kimpoy Feliciano na sikat na sikat sa Tumblr noon 👀 halatang halata ang edad HAHAHAHA)

but if i'm being honest, i don't feel fulfilled. i feel like i'm at my lowest pa nga because of the things that are happening in my life right now. but still, i'm thankful to have such a solid support system. kung wala sila, 'di ko sure kung saan ako pupulutin talaga sa sobrang baba ng morale ko.

october, please be good to me. ❤️‍🩹

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tara g

✨soft asks✨

What song makes you feel better?

What is your go to comfort show?

Reading or writing? Why?

Whats your favorite feeling?

How do you like to take care of yourself?

What’s your favorite candle scent?

Who do you feel most like yourself around?

Whats a fabric/texture that’s nostalgic for you?

Best childhood moment?

When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried? (or just felt really good afterwards)

Do you have a comfort item? Tell us about it!

What calms you down?

Bath or shower to relax?

Whats something upcoming that you’re excited for?

Comfort food?

What’s something you want to create soon?

How do you feel best loved?

What age in life do you think you’ll feel most yourself at?

Have you ever written or received a love letter?

Tell us about a memory you hold close to your heart.

Tea, Coffee, or hot cocoa?

Name of your favorite playlist?

Have you ever received flowers?

Who is your bestfriend?

If your soul was a color, what would it be?

If you could live anywhere with anyone you want, where would it be and who would you bring?

Do you like to garden? Have you ever grown something?

What are you proudest of?

Are you a kind person?

What do your hobbies look like?

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Continuing Spy x Family, and Lord, please ilayo mo ako sa tukso ng pagbili ng kung anu-anong merch na walang kinalaman sa buhay ko please 😩😩😩 wala akong karapatang bumili