malakaiijames

[malakaiijames]

Y'all think Chucklefuck 1 and 2 had a three-way with Remmick after he turned them?

Listen, HEAR ME OUT! If I were Joan, and my husband rose up from the dead, absolutely covered in blood, and said "hey, baby" in THAT voice??? OHHHHH WE'RE RIDIN THAT MOTHERFUCKER TILL DAWN😝

And I'd drag Remmick into it too..he got us into this mess, the least he can do is give back to the community (it's me, I'm the community, give it to me😝)..Eiffel Tower WHO

Okay, okay..but for real, for real..Sinners is fucking phenomenal, I watched it, I fell in love, it's consumed me..the history, the southern gothic vibes, the cast, the music, the costumes...lord I could go on and on and on about it

[malakaiijames]

I haven't had the privilege of seeing Sinners yet, I'm patiently waiting for it to come onto a streaming service (fingers crossed it happens soon), but just based on vibes alone (and the fact that it's Jack motherfuckin' O'Connell) Remmick is my boy. Love of my actual life fr

I love that funky little Irish man

With his stupid little banjo and his southern twang and his groovy Irish jig

Covering that man in blood?? Best decision cinema has ever made. Hands down

Remmick😍😍😍😍

[malakaiijames]

So I'm reading Crooked Kingdom rn (shout-out to the lovely Leigh Bardugo for gracing us with such exquisite novels), I'm like..a third of the way through, give or take, and I genuinely cannot with Matthias😭😭

Bro is so autistic I can't..he's too much like me💀 It's like getting an outside point of view of how i interact and speak to people..like i don't realize that's how I come off until I get an outsider POV)

Matthias and Wylan = two sides of the same autistic coin

Kaz = autistic but not in the way Matthias and Wylan are

Inej = definitely OCD

Jesper and Nina = two sides of the same ADHD coin

[malakaiijames]

Wdym y'all don't watch niche, obscure history videos in your free time?

Weird.....

[malakaiijames]

Sometimes I just want to reach through the screen and punch Ned Stark in the fuckin mouth💀 Bro was so fuckin honorable that it literally killed him. He was also dumb as fuck, unbelievably so..if he'd listened to Cat, he would've lived, or, at the very least, if he'd kept his damn mouth shut about Cersei and Jamie until he had actual proof of the incest..I know he wanted to save the kids (though gods know why anyone would want to save Joff but that's neither here nor there), keep Robert from killing them, but he did not have to summon Cersei and tell her he knew, he did not need to do that..dumb as all hell that decision.

Like at what point did he think that was a smart decision? Absolutely never, because even he knew he was a fuckin idiot for that..except he couldn't take it back by then because he was already doomed. His first goddamn sign that he should've kept his mouth shut should've been Jon Arryn LITERALLY DYING conveniently after he found out the truth..like, yes, it wasn't even the Lannisters that killed him, it was Lysa and Petyr, blah blah, but they would've if he ever let them know that he knew...and at the time, nobody knew it was actually Lysa who did it, so Ned believed Jon was killed by the Lannisters because of what he knew, and yet he still pulled that goddamn stunt

What a fuckin idiot..I love the man, I do, he's one of the few men in this show who is actually a good guy without having any ulterior motives, like bro just loves his land and his wife and his kids and his honor ofc, but my gods is he stupid as HELL

ALSO, still makes me MADDD that he never told Jon the truth of his birth..like WE don't even know the truth, is he a Targ, is he a Dayne, is he a Stark???? WE DO NOT KNOW FOR CERTAIN BECAUSE NED DIED BEFORE HE COULD TELL JON BECAUSE HE'S A DUMBASS WHO CAN'T KEEP HIS MOUTH SHUT..will we ever know??? Idk! If GRRM would GET HIS ACT TOGETHER AND GET THE LAST TWO BOOKS OUT MAYBE WE WILL!

I personally believe he's a Targ, the product of Lyanna and Rhaegar, and it is hinted at in the books, and the show took that road too, but we may never actually know for sure who he is or where he came from..all because Ned can't keep his damn fool mouth shut

Ned is also stupid for trusting Petyr with literally anything, like why would you tell that man the truth of the twins?? WHY?? He's smart, he's vile, he plays the game the best imo, but I would never trust that man with a damn thing, especially that kinda secret

AND WHO SENT THE ASSASSIN AFTER BRAN???? Because it wasn't Cersei, it wasn't Tyrion or Jamie or Petyr or Varys..Joff is the suspect, because it was a sorta kinda smart plan, except the man was armed with a Lannister dagger, and Joff is a stupid stupid twelve year old child who would do smth like that, but we won't ever really KNOW because he's dead and so is the assassin (all hail Summer, we love Summer)

Speaking of wolves....do they give the Starks their warg powers or are the Starks already wargs and the wolves just act as a link? Because I'm dying to know..I assume it's the former, because all the kids have wolf dreams at least once except for Sansa because Lady is dead, but only Bran and Jon know that they're wargs rn...but we also don't know for sure. Were they just normal ass kids and then they became wargs because of the wolves? Or were they born wargs and the wolves are what unlocks that power?? LIKE I NEED THE LORE SO BAD😭😭😭

Maybe that's already smth everyone else knows and I'm just late to the party, if so, somebody help a guy out and lemme know, but as far as I'm aware, the truth of it all is not presently known...GRRM needs to drop a whole series of books just on lore, but I'm not gonna hold my breath on that because he hasn't even finished the actual series yet💀💀

I genuinely just came here to rant about Ned Stark...because he's a moron💀

[malakaiijames]

I'm back on the Avatar (as in, James Cameron) train..

Anyone else get absolutely SICK with feeling during the scene in the first film when Neytiri is showing Jake the Spirit Tree, after the Ceremony and right before they mate, and he makes Tsaheylu and hears the voices of The People who've returned to Eywa, and in-between the voices there's the laughter of children? I get absolutely SICK from it..it's a part of life, I'm aware, and they can still connect with their families, but my god..hearing the joyful laughter of young Na'vi who passed so early..heartbreaking

Anyways..I love these movies, I can't wait for the next one, I'm still in Big Denial that Neteyam is dead, and I also refuse to believe that Spider was not their child

Listen, I know Neytiri has complicated feelings about him, and I totally get that, my girl is Traumatized, she has PTSD from the Sky People, and Spider is sired by the worst Sky Person there is, but that boy is THEIR baby, they took Kiri as their own even though by blood she isn't, and I refuse to believe that after sixteen years of having Spider with them all the time, they both didn't accept him wholeheartedly as their biological son

Are there still uncertain feelings about him from Neytiri? Yes, because she is a being with thoughts and feelings and everything is complicated, but in my heart of hearts, I know she cares for that boy the same way she cares for his siblings. Lo'ak even calls him his brother, like they are a family

ALSO, on that note, I also 100% believe that Neytiri cutting Spider on that ship after Neteyam passed was her sealing the bond between mother and child, and I know what y'all will say, she did it because she was 100% ready to follow through with that "a son for a son" spiel, but I honestly believe she said that because she knew Quaritch would let Kiri go, and once he did, she cut Spider, proclaiming him as hers once and for all

In Na'vi culture, they believe everyone is born twice, and I truly believe that moment was Neytiri's way of "killing" human Spider so that Na'vi Spider could be born, because Quaritch already let Kiri go before Neytiri cut Spider, she didn't have to do that, but she did..because he's her boy, and she was not letting ANYONE take another baby from her

Idc, it's canon now, y'all can't pry this one out of my hands

[malakaiijames]

It took me 21 years to realize the TV was glowing..it was always there, in the darkened corners, just out of direct sight, waiting, until I finally stopped and turned and looked.

It took 21 years.. but I saw the TV glow.

It's always been glowing.

🩵🩷🤍

[malakaiijames]

It’s always “what is your favorite color?” and never “what are your thoughts on the intensely queer coded relationship of Neil Perry and Todd Anderson in the 1989 film ‘Dead Poets Society’”

[malakaiijames]

evrybody hate me and want me dead. except for god he said faggot! you will live forever

[malakaiijames]

Currently watching The Quarry (for like.. the sixteenth time), and I just can't with this cop. Like he's supposed to be kinda sorta helping the kids NOT get absolutely wrecked - in a bad way - by the werewolves, but he is so bad at it.

Like he can't lie? He can't make up a lie as to WHY they can't go to the camp tonight? Like I know, he can't tell them the truth, but he can't come up with a reasonable lie to keep them from going? There was a fire, an accident, they aren't allowed on the grounds until they're cleared by the police for..whatever, like telling them "because I said so" is not gonna make them obey you!

You're a cop. You're supposed to be good at the lying part..

I mean, honestly! A cop's favorite lie is "I swore they had a gun"

Get it together, man.

[malakaiijames]

How the Santa Carla Vampires Would Talk to Angry Customers in Customer Service Position

Paul: You should kill yourself.

Star: I'm going to kill myself.

Dwayne: You should really be embarrassed by the way you're treating me right now.

Marko: Do you get off to this or something?

Max: I'm going to marry your mother so I can teach you how to behave in public.

David: Bark like a dog. You're below me, moron.

@decompose1

[malakaiijames]

Watching Keanu and Alex's audition tapes for Bill & Ted is like watching a newly married couple in their honeymoon phase..because WHY is Keanu looking at Alex like he holds the entire world in his hands?? Their chemistry is literally everything..they compliment each other SO well😭😭 Literal definition of orange cat/gray cat relationship

[malakaiijames]

Alex Winter saying how he was Den Dad on the set of The Lost Boys - when he wasn't causing trouble of course..he was just 21 - for the two Corey's, chasing after them, trying to get them to actually go to bed, has just exploded my entire heart. He's such a cutie..bein' big brother to the Corey's😭😭

I am shook to hell that I actually got to meet this man in person..it's almost been a year and it still blows my mind

[malakaiijames]

Every day life as someone with autism-related ARFID;

Mom: We have tortellini and alfredo?

Me: Egg noodles

Mom: Or...there's apples, do you like apples?

Me: Egg noodles

Mom: Or-

Me: E g g n o o d l e

Mom: 😐

Me: 😃

Mom: 🙄😒 ....I'll make you egg noodles

[malakaiijames]

All eyes on Rafah

All eyes on Rafah

All eyes on Rafah

All

Eyes

On

Rafah

They are bombing Rafah, they are posting lines of tanks along the border into Egypt, threatening to shoot anyone who tries to cross, and they're bombing Rafah. Fuck the met gala, fuck every celebrity who isn't doing more to help, fuck this fucking country

All eyes on Rafah

This is a genocide. They are bombing innocent men, women, and children.

From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸

[malakaiijames]

At a drs appointment getting blood stolen:

Phlebotomist: You'll tell me if you're about to pass out?

Me *about to pass out but doesn't wanna be an inconvenience*: Yup..sure will

Two minutes later..

Phlebotomist *setting down a bottle of orange juice*: Here's your juice..

Me *shaking, head spinning, throwing up*: 👍🏻

[malakaiijames]

poem by mosab abu toha pasted to ironwoodfarmny’s truck traveling from Ghent, NY