mamasemeraldjourney

[mamasemeraldjourney]

The Seasonal mood that tends to come to many as we have now set the clocks back,its getting darker earlier & just overall even the winter atmospheric pressure has changed (which affects some of us more then others 😅 😒) and there has been an overall down feeling around many I've been able to come out of my hole & talk to the last few days😊

Knowing the days you want to crawl into a hole for a combination of great physical & mental discomfort are exactly the days you SHOULDN'T crawl into a hole & also knowing one of my very best friends & neighbors, Stacey (who friends the good&challenging days just as strongly as I do, we both have i guess an empath side you could say we feel for other's very deeply also) is almost always in a similar funk type of mood at the same time I am, I picked up the phone; although it took me a few extra minutes, physical symptoms were more bothersome then they have been as my circulation seemed so poor, my joints & muscles were painful enough I just kept uncontrollable dropping things. Although, I am learning little signs my body is giving me ahead of time so often I am able to put tbing down before I drop them.

I'm learning to just listen to what my body says it needs, which despite physically feeling worse, I felt a pull of a magnet drawing me the short amounts of steps from my front door to Stacey's front door. The fresh air will be good for me & I knew we both need nothing only the companionship & love of a friend that understands but we both also needed the positive energy thats created whenever we are together. I can say I have always left her companionship in a happier mood the. Before we had gotten together. Before I left I felt the pull to my jewelry bench, I needed to make her a "quick " friendship bracelet.

TWO hours later, after I had realized it was supposed to he simple & meaningful & had therefore lost its purpose sp i walked away git my things ready to head over to her house went back down for my shoes looked at my jewelry bench again and behold two exactly silver alike sun& moon charm. Needles to say the creativity bug sparked no im sorry to report I made it so quickly like it was natural & it was received with more friendship love, gratitude & appreciation then I could've ever dreamed ❤ #yourthepissinmypants we've created as a meme sent that just fit & we've reused.

Today to start of most people's shorter work week with a Thanksgiving break I'll start with today off giving thanks for something each day. Theres always another day to write about the rougher times or medical stuff.

I've really learned to appreciate (again....except im still FULLY learning to wrap my head to accept 100% the fact every single symptom can be traced to some type of autoimmune responses the likely candidates probably depending on genetics but a lot are treated the same way...FOREVER. If you know me at all I cant he physically or mentally immobile it REALLY challenges me to he physically down & unable to do my normal activities.Having to accept you may not ever do some things you could do just a year ago ever again. So there's another day for that)

Today I am SO thankful for my #besthusbandever hubby is suffering watching me suffer. I feel I shouldn't have to hide how much pain I'm in,but knowing and feeling the pain its causing him breaks me when the physical pain doesn't so yes I don't often let on just exactly how bad I feel yet I know he feels. But im thankful for all of it. Just my not wanting to complain about my pain around him it helps me stay positive & believe it myself hence a little less pain. I love him.for everything.

Im so that kful for my 3 wonderful kind caring smart children.

Im beyond thankful & blessed to have two best friends i don't know wbst id do without either of you!

[mamasemeraldjourney]

Symptoms are much worse today.not writing much likely maybe later its ok to rest too! The internet went out last night unfortunately checks dont tend to clear on the weekends so navigating that today or seeing if tomorrow i can ensure its on. Its been a great day to appreciate those around me & how blessed I am to have my family & fri.

[mamasemeraldjourney]

Today as Thanksgiving nears happens to be my birthday tbis year I feel increasingly stressed & worried. How long can I keep the lights on? I can't buy them a snack for school or the almond and oat milk my daughter & I have to have or the newly added gluten free items that take away almost all my 8 year d daughters stomach problems & It has actually helped me as well but just focusing on what we even have left in can make for dinner & snack is stressful. I know the kids don't want to stress momma out.

Its hard watching & hearing them get excited about Christmas when I cant do anything even turn on my phone bill I camt pay. Watching my 8 year old make lists for her fidget toys, L.O.L. Dolls Barbie housez, science kits & she wants a @nintendo switch or @nintendo-gifs Nintendo switch lite to match mine which breaks your heart for the reason why even if I wasn't going to spend that much her new ask for Christmas is a @playstation 5!! @hoverboard is now on the list. My son loves all things @starwars that are on his list. He is autistic but high functioning & extremely intelligent very caring would adly go without to help his mamma stress less. He loves to build. We wanted a @starwars @legostarwarsthecompletesaga @lego star wars set so we can build it as a family. Hes interested in building things and games but im stressing but have the most amazing kids that don't care about material things. My 18 year old needs gift cards for clothes so im trying early but can't get something from nothing.

I feel so blessed to have such an amazing family

Also anyone struggling with anything and if your in chronic pain its ok to vent out the negativity too. Make more room for hope love & positivity

[mamasemeraldjourney]

Today I'm experiencing worse symptoms then yesterday. However I noticed when I started to space out for no reason yesterday evening & also felt kinda down & blah as well as much muscles amd joints were getting more stiff. Today awoke MUCH more congested with very bad circulation even compared to yesterday. So im learning to recognize a signal that i need to prepare my body & mind to he extra strong eat extra healthy with foods that will help my symptoms ahead of time. Its one of the times its a little harder to be positive but knowing what I have control of is my focus right now & I take it as very positive I can find another way to help myself,take control & not let my body control my entire life (yet im not yet thinking about how bad a potential flair up could be until I know what's going on or a better idea. ) having to accept you've lost a vital part of your mind amd body functioning properly like the immune system has been a lot to digest. Im an incredibly active & self motives individual that has the gift of ADHD (not a mental disorder or disability) that makes my body & brain want tobhe active. Having to remind yourself not to OVER work yourself when your use to your body being able to do certain things gas been a journey itself.

Im now psst the point of caring what anyone says is or is not acceptable according to societies standards. We aren't lemmings, we are intelligent mammals that hardly use any of their brain capacity we are capable of. I am always interested in opinions AND why. The reason for your opinion. If you know why you have am opinion & van respectfully listen to others that's humanity & respect.i love to hear others amd learn knowledge from each other.

Knowing every symptom i have is autoimmune related i also know (as well as learn in Medical Assistant school) drugs prescribed to treat autoimmune are generally not something I want to have to take. Prednisone & others that come with heavy side affects. I dont want my chronic health problems to "try" to be managed by a drawer of big pharma that just causes more side affects.

So im currently researching diet amd plan to see a nutritionist as well as use natural remedies whenever possible.

I've experienced almost every miserable,torturous debilitating symptom that shouldn't ever be felt by any human including i b wouldn't want this used as torture on your worst enemy...NOTHING gives ANY relief

EXCEPT CBD.

Think whatever you want but look up the chemical molecular structure look how how ancient civilizations not only survived but thrived and evolved theyndidnt have big pharma. (Or processed food) if its definitely not hurting (and if u already know all ingredients used amd their safety) it can't hurt. Its saved me more then words could explain. When your in absolute misery you get wht you can at the corner store and its been amazing but working to only get from a source I 100% know is safe, research the chemical (if ) used before buying.

But for now I leave you with a big thank you to my local store & thank you @Delta8

[mamasemeraldjourney]

[mamasemeraldjourney]

So I'm brand new at this bear with me tbis was meant to be the first post:

I'm completely new at this so bear with me just wanted to start with a little of my history that has now evolved to me struggling to not let it take over my entire life. Days turn I to weeks which turns Into almost 2 mo home unable to work my kids are worried to the point I see it affecting them. My husband has been amazing but trying to see why the one person he knows that can tolerate an intense amount of discomfort, pain threshold much higher then most. If im at a 7, most i know would be over 10.

I was the sole financial provider & covid bit our savings hard so the stress is compounding to make me worse.Off to look for some work i can do from home for now. Ive found a couple #autoimmunedisorders that I seem to fit very well. The #allergist is booked till March. Trying to organize myself and the #nutritionist is my next call.

Thanks for taking the time to care to read my journey. I wish everyone a sunshine day

[mamasemeraldjourney]

When you dont know why your symptoms are constantly changing and getting better & worse. Days home unable to work turn into weeks and over a month. Scared about the holidays for the kids while im in lain every second of the day even if I don't show it.