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Superman: Your obsession with me is starting to get a little creepy

Lex: *internally* He can never, ever know how I feel about him. Quick, play it smooth

Lex: Don’t worry—tall, dark, and Martian isn’t my type

Lex: *internally* did he buy that?

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Oh!

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When I'm in charge of the planet, it will be illegal to make a job posting unless you are actively searching for a candidate.

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What's the process if you're a superhero and you come out as trans

Do you tell your villains?

Do you keep it a secret so no one can connect Spider-Man with your secret identity for a while? Or do you pop a pronouns pin on your costume and the next time you web up Doctor Octopus and he goes "I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME SPIDER-MAN" you go "Spider-Girl actually! I've been figuring out some shit"

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Bruce is used to sleeping lightly. He’s used to nightmares. He’s not used to Clark murmuring nonsense in his sleep.

One night, just as Bruce’s head hits the pillow:

Clark: “…mmm… that’s a good cow… g’night Betsy…”

Bruce: “Who the hell is Betsy.”

Clark: “…gotham’s my favorite city… except the rats… rats…..mmmphhh…grosss”

Bruce: “I’m leaving you.”

Clark, half-conscious, pulls Bruce closer and murmurs: “…mine…bat…man…”

Bruce doesn’t leave.

He buys noise-canceling earplugs instead.

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Waynes on a Game Show

“…You’re all related?”

Dick: “Technically. Spiritually. Legally. Emotionally. And on Tuesdays.”

Jason’s buzzer is a gunshot noise. Tim hacks the scoring system. Damian threatens the opposing team. Cass answers everything with alarming accuracy.

Bruce just stands there like a wall in Armani, winking and acting clueless. Himbo-esque. The crowd eats it up.

They win. They win hard. The host fears for his life. The audience cheers. Gotham trends #WayneSweep for 3 days.

Clark watches it live and texts Bruce:

“You couldn’t point out Gotham on a map? ”

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Lex: just to clarify, I still hate you

Superman, who was thoroughly making out with Lex: I know

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"Just a cold" that puts holes in your mitochondria doctor's can't see.

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anyway in case you don’t know it yet

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Smallville fandom do you exist..? I saw the original post and got possessed to make this

I’m praying the new Superman makes people want to watch Smallville so there will be more fan content out there PLEASE

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passages that make you whisper "oh my god"

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Stoopid stuff based on a meme I saw on Pinterest I wanted to draw!!

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oh? 👀