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maribosoup · 1 month ago

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Happy late mothers day to me guys and as a gift from me to me im going to yap about my spawns (i WILL yap)

This is Auggie (or Oog as i like to call him)

-he knows how to helicopter shit and he uses it

- violated the geneva convention (no hes not going to elaborate)

- he likes crickets and worms and cant tell the difference between those and the tweezers

-salad hater

This is Julia.

- she eats anything (also doesnt know the difference between food and tweezers)

-leader of an undiscovered country

-shits while maintaining eye contact

-has beef with my wife specifically sometimes

This is Clyde

-We thought he was a boy when he was a wee babe but he doesnt have peenar

-likes to climb around and watch us sleep (i know this because i wake up in sweat and needing to pee and id flash my phone light at his tank and hes on the front door banging on it sometimes. refer to point #4)

-likes to hang out inside glass spaghetti sauce jars

-bangs on the door at night

-likes my wife more than me, visibly and often enough that this is my conclusion

This is Strip Weathers "The King", legendary 7 time Piston Cup winner.

- likes to rattle and hiss

-sleeps and hides all day

-likes to dig around

-his shits are diabolical

Here are their homes that i recently upgraded.

please be nice guys i spent like $800 to get them in appropriate nicer tanks and i was recently kicked out of my house (im currently in a good home with my spawns. temporarily 💔) so heres addressing some concerns:

1. Aspen: guys pls i know its better to have a natural soil mix but i splurged more on their lights and tank which were the heaviest toll on the bank 💔 and theyre bearded dragons and i believe UVB is essential for all reptiles even if some dont necessarily "require" it like leopard geckos or king snakes compared to bearded dragons. i had a bazonkaload of shaved aspen so i use it for now rather than paper towels because paper towels are fuck ugly and they're in good health so i dont need to quarantine them rn. Oog and Strip Weathers The King Legendary 7 Time Piston Cup Winner likes to burrow a lot so i dont want to deny them that

2. Concerns about feeding on the substrate: i dont let them hunt on the substrate because theyre all dumb and get a mouth full of it. I tweezer the food and bait them so they run around for it haha (they do more running around than i do). or sometimes they get to hunt out of the tank on the floor boards or the bed or on a mat or on a food bowl.

3. Lights: yeah to elaborate because i think this is very important for people to know. They have Arcadia 14% Desert T5 on a reflector attached inside the tank like so:

and their heat bulb is a powersun, which produces uva and uvb and heat. Like intense heat. for the bearded dragons: 120f basking spot at peak hours of the day and then cools down to 103f. (They have a minimum 3 Inch substrate that gets deeper at the back at around 5-6 inches and a length of 4ft for lower temperature gradients). for my leo and king, they have a standard heat bulb that produces simulated sunlight but its only uva. They do however have my old 10.0 reptisun T5s which does produce uvb.

4. Tank: The beardies both have 4ftx2ftx2ft pvc tanks with sliding glass doors and light fixtures attached to the ceiling of the tank. hygro/thermometer screens facing outside and probe inside. guys all of this comes with the tank that was uhhh pretty okay to build it does hurt to screw by hand but this was a labor of love. Its from diycages. they also do safes and stuff if youre into that i guess. idk if they ship internationally though. im a loyal customer, i bought three of these tanks from them before also ☝️ but thats a whole other story. anyways big fan of their tanks. i think its definitely gotten better than their old tanks.

As for my leo, he has a uhh 46inx18inx18in thrive ecoflex front opening terrarium, i got it from petsmart some time ago. it has a screen top so you can't stack them like the ones i have for my bearded dragons. theyre pretty okay, i had oog in there for a while and he outgrew it. for my king: pls note guys he is not 5ft yet dont beat me up hes about 2ft rn hes like maybe a year old idk he was rehomed to me like just last month. hes in a 37.5inx19.5inx19.25in zoomed reptihabitat and yes i know he will outgrow it. plan was to upgrade the biggest big backs first (oog and julia) and when im financially stable i will upgrade the rest to more 4ftx2ftx2ft tanks. OR build a 5ft pvc myself for the beardies and move the king and leo in the old 4x2s. nothing is solid until me n me wife are both financially stable enough to move to a place that is our own. damn i just yapped all that 😨

5. Anyway, moving on, rheostats: I still havent figured out if its safe to use with an extension that is also a light timer because all my lights automatically turn on and off. it also has a side that is always on and my chargers and lights are on it. idk if rheostats+light timer extension= safe. and i do not want it to be a fire hazard 😭 so i just have temp checks regularly to make sure my parameters are correct and my bulbs have the wattage they need to maintain required temperatures. Please help a girl out. I do not want to set fire to the tanks that is a reoccurring nightmare. pls dont be mad at me ill eat styrofoam

6. Lamp cage: with the pic i showed you can see that the bulb is sticking out of the lamp cage which is meant to block the reptile from touching the bulb. fear not, you will see soon why they cannot reach it anyway. that is because i am fucking poor and cant provide any more climbing branches. i know them enough to say they want to climb so when i got the new tanks and lights, i got as much decor as i could. the substrates are so expensive guys im sorry 💔💔💔 i have chosen not to use soil from garden centers because i dont want to deal with that so ive opted to saving up for terra sahara or a reptisoil/excavator clay based mix. wow i went on a tangent. anyway, back to the lamp cage. yes they cant reach it, both beardies stick to the surface theyre on and tend to bask and "pancake" like lie as flat as spread out as possible. idk how to work around it yet the powersun bulbs are humongous. this doesnt apply to my leo and king because their lights are on a screen top.

7. Supplements: They all have calcium w/ d3 and w/o d3, some reptivite, and super veggies. not all of them use super veggie. theyre on a schedule 😺

8. Any other concerns: lmk but dont yell at me pls ill shit myself

Anyway, heres their current tanks :)

im proud of them me n my lady wife did our best with what we had :')

thx as a reward i will gift you with:

Charles Baloney *********** 3000. (this is his govt vet name we call him Bo or Bobo)

-likes to nibble on fake plants. not real plants. fake ones.

-criminal

-first born and acts like it

- anxious and paranoid for any reason at all (enemies include: people through windows but only through windows. he will be ok with you in person. and whatever he saw in the hallway and in my parents room. i see things but for way different reasons)

Concerns:

1. yes he is strictly indoors. uhh i tried leash training him for a while but he absolutely hated it and no matter what kind of leash vest i used he would tear himself from so i dont subject him to that anymore. i got him when he was 6 years old for 20 bucks off craigslist on a Saturday after calling the owner who posted him just a day prior as i was close to meeting god on my own volition and he is now 9 years old and i am here still and now we have my wife and he has his mom who stepped up and i think, given the circumstances, i think hopefully we will be okay 👽

2. what does he eat: he seems to particularly enjoy the costco brand PATE ONLY NOT GRAVY NOT CHUNKS NOT MORSELS NOT BLENDED NOT SHREDDED NOTHING ELSE BUT PATE ONLY wet food and the kibble. he also likes his multivitamin because its salmon flavored :3

3. why is he a criminal: wouldnt you like to know weather boy

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