marissagorgeous-blog-blog

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seeing 444; really SEEING it. made me feel seen. 

Was the start of a spiritual awakening for me. 

Saw it on 1/11. 

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Angel Numbers Quickie

111:

Open. Something is waiting.

222:

Welcome. Someone is waiting.

333:

Speak. Something needs to be said.

444:

Check. Make sure your bases are covered.

555:

Laugh. You’re ready to be over it.

666:

Stop. What are you not seeing?

777:

Rejoice. You’ve hit the jackpot.

888:

Observe. What cycles are you looping?

999:

Prepare. It’s all ending.

1010:

Breathe. All is balanced.

1111:

Reap. Then sow another seed.

2020:

Focus. You’ve got this.

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To be the teacher

Lately I’ve been thinking. 

When she emotes, she feels like she is breaking.  

How people make her feel like being broken is wrong. 

She isn’t willing to consciously allow herself to come apart, so she subconsciously for years is allowing her self destruction.  

No matter how she chooses to acknowledge it, she will come apart. 

Know Matter. 

We are all a little broken.  

Acknowledging your vulnerability is strength. 

I can’t do it for you, but I’ll show you how.

Because I love me. and you, mom. 

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I think it’s working

We didn’t connect through trauma bonding. 

We feel healthy. 

I love you. 

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pulse check

how did you feel after?

Emotionally?

Physically? 

Spiritually? 

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She is, in the eyes of me

Why do you think she is so successful in the eyes of others?

Does it matter? 

what do think is your perception of peoples perception of her success?

Her youth in my eyes is what makes her successful.  she is 10 years older than me. She does what makes her happy. Not what she thinks people will think is cool. she reacts genuinely. Her youthfulness is her innocence. but innocence in the sense of tunnel vision of the light in another person.

Her reactions are pure. She reacts as she believes she would treat another person.  Purely heartbroken. 

Her intentions are always of the Best. 

People do not love you the way you love them.  

Even if it feels like they don’t love you, they do, in the best way they can in that moment. 

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I reread this. And forgot I was the author. I inspired myself

it's been a while.

I’m staying in one place. and things are constantly changing. things i used to think would be there tomorrow, are no longer an option. Pass by things i took for granted. and I miss them. I miss simplicity. even tho i am classified as all over the place, the one thing i always hope for is to be calm. words of waste. waste of words.. wasting words of thoughts of concepts. I want to know what i want. but i’m not sure, and don’t know where to start. i’m surrounded by people knowing that i lack time with myself. people think they know me, and i am sooo preoccupied by surrounding myself with knowing how people work that i don’t take the time to know who I am. Time. is always slipping away from me. it glides so flawlessy that i am unaware of the time that i’ve lost. the things i have lost. the people I have lost.

convincing myself that people don’t care, because in case they don’t it won’t hurt as bad. people’s mom’s fuck them up. i’m no different than the next scared person who isn’t able to trust another person who feels the same things that you do. they feel what you feel and want to avoid the same things you feel, but are strong enough to face them head first. unlike cowardly antics to avoid pain of lonliness. but is always staring you in the face, because you are surrounded by people that you may never allow to care about you. lonely is your fault. but learning how to be by yourself is not being lonely.

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450 square feet, WOW! - specht harpman

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She never gets old

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The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence.

Charles Bukowski  (via wolf-cub)

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goodnight.

sitting here. with you. the crazy one. the one I learned to Love, after the "one" the one I've learned from. And now, you learned from me. and I still Love you. I make good friends. Who are temporary Lovers. You're too crazy to be something more. always on different pages. but i care.  

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last night.

I fell asleep by myself. with nothing in my hands.  this morning i woke up holding something. a picture. there irony is uncanny. I think my mind is playing tricks with me.  

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ummm. wow

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#movienight with the #family! #brothers #gay #love #dog #friendswithkids @camelgonzales @_oscar_t @holdenthebigbrowndog (Taken with Instagram)

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Not without a #Nixon #letswork (Taken with Instagram)

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I definitely don't look like this today. (Taken with Instagram)

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I dunno if you can tell, but they're in love. #sleepybugs #gay #love #adorable #jealous (Taken with Instagram)