marshmellowtea - Tumblr blog

marshmellowtea · 4 hours ago

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good lord i spent so long writing that post gjkalsdfjkl

#i had a lot to say i guess!! hopefully most of it is good and helpful instead of obnoxious or superfluous lmao #marshy speaks

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marshmellowtea · 4 hours ago

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lot of conversation going around about tumblr being obnoxiously white/being the white guilt website and i do honestly wonder how much of it is the (and bare with me here, i swear it's not going the way it seems like it is ghalksdfj) goddamn identity politics that people are just incapable of letting go of even after all this time. if i'm being honest (and probably a little controversial) for a second i genuinely think this idea that you constantly have to be aware of any privilege you may hold in any conversation just comes across as dehumanizing and tokenistic, because you stop seeing the person across from you as a human being worthy of respect, but rather a list of identities you have to be constantly be aware of and thinking about.

under the cut cuz this got long lol. please read the whole thing before commenting/sending angry asks, please and thank you.

anyway, most people you meet, including people you hold privilege over, are not going to be hyperaware activists who know all the correct terminology and expect you to do the same. they're going to be messy and complex. they're going to have bigoted ideas of their own, because part of growing up in a bigoted society means we all have internal biases we may or may not be aware of. they're going to have hobbies and dreams and interests and their own complaints about the way the world works, and political ideas you may not agree with. and with all that, you have to accept them as people, and be able to respect their humanity more than anything else, if you want to actually interact with them in a healthy and productive or even just a normal, friendly way.

i can't help but feel that overemphasizing oppressor vs oppressed dynamics in interpersonal relationships is just feeding into the objectification and mystification of people who are different than you, when we all have more in common than we realize. it makes it hard to relate to each other and see where our common struggles are when we only focus on the ways we're failing each other. i think to some extent, to combat this, it's good to keep in mind that most social issues are systemic rather than interpersonal—you are not immune from enabling or upholding them, of course, this is not a cry of "you have no responsibility in the way bigotry manifests, actually", but it helps no one to overemphasize your own role in the evils in the world. unless you're a billionaire or a world leader, you are also just a person. a person who makes mistakes and is capable of harm, yes, but still just a person who can learn and grow. you are not uniquely evil. no facet of identity makes you uniquely evil.

it's been said before by people smarter than me but i really do think tumblr in particular is self defeating when it comes to its activism. this website puts far more emphasis on "being informed" and knowing the "right" language as a prerequisite to being a good person than it really needs to. at a certain point, being constantly in activist mode, policing yourself and shoving your brain with the horrors of the world is going to do you more harm than good, burning you out and making it hard to see the humanity and agency in people different than you. it's definitely not a bad thing to be aware of hurtful or offensive things, far from it, but i think constantly putting "how can i avoid hurting this person" at the forefront of your interactions is not only going to make said person uncomfortable, but it's also extremely hostile to yourself.

being aware of your privilege is a good thing, to an extent. but at a certain point, you have to know where to draw the line between "being self aware" and "self flagellating for no good reason". you can't take every discussion of systemic issues personally—and yes, that's often meant in a "stop getting overly defensive when people point out harmful things you have done", which is also important to remember, but i also mean it in a "stop acting like you personally are responsible for every issue on earth" way. don't let your moral ocd or guilt tripping comments on this website dictate your activism. you don't have to apologize for being white, or being cis, or being able bodied, or american, or any of that shit. that just puts the onus of comforting and reassuring you on the people who are just trying to talk about their struggles. it's deeply obnoxious, and it's harmful to all parties involved. your guilt will not save anyone. your guilt will not save you.

you will make mistakes. you will say the wrong thing sometimes. apologize if needed, learn from it, and learn to move on, both for your own sake and the sake of the people you're trying to help. you don't have to keep bringing up your mistakes or flaws. you're just upsetting people who did not ask to burden your shame, and you're just hurting yourself by constantly pressing on your shame like a bruise. it's hard, trust me, i know it's hard, it's something i still have to work on too, but it'll make you a better activist, better friend, better person in the long run if you learn to stop shaming yourself for every mistake. it's not easy, but it's important, and it's worth it.

i wanna wrap this up by saying that i acknowledge that this is not the sole reason tumblr has a whiteness/racism problem, far from it. there's a lot of genuinely vile racist shit on here that goes unchecked, and i certainly think that the tumblr staff and moderation team holds a lot of blame when it comes to people of color's blogs being wiped or censored. the problem runs super deep, and i don't think it's solely a problem of tumblr's misguided attempts at activism. i just know for a fact that the way this website handles social justice, and race in particular, is specifically designed to be hostile to all people involved, and certainly is not helping the situation. we don't need to center knowing all the right things in social justice discussions. we just need an openness to learning and a willingness to treat people with kindness and respect. that's far more important, i think, and it'll certainly make you far less miserable, lol.

#i've been wanting to make a post like this for a while i hope it's at all coherent ghslkdfj #i feel like being in tumblr activist circles when i was a teenager really did a number on my ocd riddled ass #this website enables white guilt like no other does and while we're still responsible for not putting that on people of color #i do genuinely see why it turned out this way. the way we treat people as a list of discourse points is fucked up #as well as the way we treat knowing every single fucked up thing going on in the world as a requirement for being a good activist #the people irl doing the most good are people who are hyperfocused on one issue or community and dedicating their time and resources to it #they are not taking on everything at once. that's simply impossible #being hyperaware of every single issue in the world is not making better people it's making anxious messes who walk on eggshells #around people they deem as less privileged than them. it's making them terrified of interacting with any culture different than theirs #because better to not try at all than get something wrong right?#except that's not the case. it's inevitable that you'll mess up. just be open to listening and learning and making connections #idk i really feel like the people doing the most good out there are not the ones constantly checking their phones for horrific news #or making themselves into apologetic martyrs who can't handle being told they've messed up because it conflicts with their self image #they're people who fuck up sometimes but are nonetheless doing their best to be kind #we're all just doing our best. sometimes that is enough. you do not have to torment yourself to be a good person i swear.#social justice #discourse #racism #moral ocd #long post #marshy speaks

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marshmellowtea · 4 hours ago

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Pablo 🐱 commission

#cats #cool art

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marshmellowtea · 6 hours ago

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it seems as though there's once again been a revival in the who's lila fandom 👀

#i gotta check out the demo for the new game soon oughghsdofj #marshy speaks

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marshmellowtea · 6 hours ago

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i think it's fair to critique the capitalistic and materialistic motivations behind certain trends but i can't take people on this website seriously when they have sincere superiority complexes over not knowing about or participating in them. not on tumblr dot loser. not on tumblr dot cringe. you may not know what a labubu is and you may not have seen an episode of love island but that doesn't make you better than anyone else i've seen the way you guys post on here

#it's giving hipster culture but even more embarrassing aglkasdjfkl #idk i just think this website is one of the objectively funniest to have a superiority complex on. we're all gay and depressed be so fr #and this website will develop superiority complexes over the most random shit too it's wild........#i guess the not following trends thing is at LEAST a coherent reason to have one lmao. that's more than we usually get #but it's hard not to roll my eyes when you all are on here like 'i don't know about this trend that makes me better'#like no you're just on the niche posting website lol. that's literally it. you're just in a different demographic. relax #you are not better than the people who do know what a labubu is you are just annoying hope this helps <3 #marshy speaks

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marshmellowtea · 8 hours ago

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