matsuuno - Tumblr blog

[matsuuno]

Isn’t this just the plot of the Osomatsu-san Movie? Or close enough anyway. I’m going to put my current threads on hold for now, but I’m going to throw out a plotter call!

Do you want to hang out in the 1960′s with a bunch of identical rowdy boys but one extremely rowdy one in particular? Or a rowdy highschooler? Or maybe invite a rowdy NEET into your dreams? 

Feel free to like this, capping at 3 for now! Other Matsus exempt as always.

[matsuuno]

Isn’t this just the plot of the Osomatsu-san Movie? Or close enough anyway. I’m going to put my current threads on hold for now, but I’m going to throw out a plotter call!

Do you want to hang out in the 1960′s with a bunch of identical rowdy boys but one extremely rowdy one in particular? Or a rowdy highschooler? Or maybe invite a rowdy NEET into your dreams? 

Feel free to like this, capping at 3 for now! Other Matsus exempt as always.

[matsuuno]

Keep reading

[matsuuno]

I think he’s been here long enough, so it’s time for …

OSOMATSU’S PERMANENT RELATIONSHIP CALL! 

(It’s like a Cr*igslist ad, but worse.)

Have you ever wanted to be friends with a desperately thirsty and obnoxious NEET? No? Who would! Unless that’s you (and even if it isn’t), in which case you’re at the right post!

If you like this, it means you’re interested in some or any of the following:

unlimited meme sending! (saved for meme fridays, of course)

random IM’s for thread plotting!

responses to your minis with no hesitation!

pre-established relationships!

…and more!

If you’re interested, give this a like, uncapped for the rest of time itself! I’ve also included some common relationship scenarios for you below the cut.

Keep reading

[matsuuno]

He watches his neighbor fall from the window with a hard thud, but barely reacts. These kind of antics were more than normal for him. He’d be fine. He was fine. Probably. But he’s going off like he knows him, in fact straight-up saying that. Osomatsu’s positive that’s not quite right, so it’s no surprise he’d be a little bit confused.

“Are you sure that was me? I’ve heard your crazy shouting from next door, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen you before.”

Osomatsu pauses for a moment. He’s used to getting confused for someone else. To him, it simply sounds like Choromatsu might’ve started job hunting. Osomatsu had, technically, also started looking, but that was about a week ago, and he’d promptly given up the second he noticed Ichimatsu roll into town. The fourth eldest of them would likely never hold a job, so Osomatsu figured that could lay the pressure off of himself for a little bit. 

He’s almost ready to point him in his brother’s direction, but on second thought, this was a free gig. No interview, some spare cash to spend... A guy who just jumps out of his own window for the hell of it couldn’t possibly have very high standards. It was perfect.

“Actually, I think I do remember you!” He didn’t. “Yeah, from the... from the thing. Funny you should mention it, but I am still definitely on the market. Who’s interested? You? Are you hiring me?”

   Now here’s a familiar face, and it’s his next door neighbor of all things! Leaving his house next door, Cortex hadn’t failed to notice him. He’s seen this young man once, back in the last city he was pulled to. In brief passing as well. After hearing some whines about needing a ‘kind’ and ‘generous’ stranger to give him money, Cortex complied and was willing to give this man a chance. The rest was a bit hazy in his mind. Certainly something to do with being put back home shortly afterwards. Normally, Cortex wouldn’t do this for anyone, but if someone was willing to sell out for whatever means, surely he wouldn’t have minded the evil scientist bending his ear for a bit. “You There!!! YES, YOU YOUNG MAN!” He calls out, waving an arm around as his large head stuck through the window of his room. All an attempt to grab his attention. “You There!! In RED!!” If he wasn’t careful, he would certainly- “I Have a propositiooooooooAAAHHH!!!” 

   Finally succumbing to gravity, poor Cortex falls from the window, comically rolling off the roof, and into a tree. A few pained grunts and yelps are heard until finally he falls on the grass of the front yard, limp. “…oww…” He’d feel that in the morning… Slowly, he pushes himself up off the grass, pressing a hand to his temple. “That is not… how I imagined this would go down. Heheh… Ugrh.” Not only has he hurt himself pretty badly, but now he’s made a fool of himself again. Only this time, it was in front of a potential ally. His steps shaky, he sways to-and-fro a he approaches him. “Ow… I- Ahh! Apologize for the sudden call for attention, my boy. But I have a question… Nay. A Favor to ask of you. AH!!!” Despite his age, he’s definitely durable. A few pops are heard from his body as he tries to stand before him, wincing and yelping with each crick.

   “Ahhh… If I recall from our last encounter, you were in search for a means to get an income, right? A Job?”

[matsuuno]

envymachine‌:

Oh, he had a point. Darrell felt a bit stupid for getting so emotional, just like he was starting to feel really stupid for putting the flyers up in the first place. “Eh. Don’t bother. No one’s coming to get me, anyway.” He said it quietly, but there was venom creeping into his voice. It wasn’t directed at Osomatsu, it was just… simmering. 

He just didn’t know why he was still here. Both of his dads were geniuses, and Darrell had no doubt in his mind that they could rescue him– so why hadn’t they? Either they weren’t as good as he thought they were… or they just didn’t care. The thought made him sick.

The sudden defeat took him off-guard, and if he didn’t pity the guy before, he definitely did now. “Whaaaat? You can’t say that!”

Rushing to grab the bot by the shoulders-- hopefully in some sort of comfort, but only time would tell if that were the case.

“Look, I came here all alone too-- I didn’t have any family here for months! Out of six-- SIX brothers, not a single one here for ages! But hell, one of them popped up here not too long ago! It takes time, but it’ll pay off. Someone’s gotta show up eventually! Besides...”

“If you care that much to go looking for them, I’m sure they care enough about you to miss you, too.” Unless they didn’t, in which case that would probably sting more than he thought. Oh well, at least he’s trying.

[matsuuno]

“Don’t worry, just follow my lead,” he whispers in return, before his back straightens, still sticking shoulder-to-shoulder with Mizi. It’s awkward and robotic, but he’s prepared for the worst. When a saleswoman does approach them, he just... stares. Wide-eyed. He can’t even manage to say anything to answer her. ‘Do you want to try this free sample of hand lotion?’ He didn’t know. He didn’t have any money and he was already blowing it.

@matsuuno x

“What do we do?” Mizi was quick to keep himself shoulder-to-shoulder with Osomatsu. “I don’t want to be rude..!” He his kept his voice low as well.

[matsuuno]

fourthsaken‌:

He wasn’t planning to reveal himself until he was a bit more sure it was actually the eldest. The Osomatsu that he knew despite the other’s odd seriousness with a purpose and paper the other has that he can’t tell the use of. A resume, maybe? Scary. Osomatsu having a proper job? Passing an interview alone is an ominous thought.

Though as much as he tries to keep a close eye, the thoughts he has in mind trying to make sense of the situation was overwhelming that it felt like he needed a breather. Ichimatsu didn’t even noticed the store he stopped and turned at (or is it because the ones near the window are not cats?). At least looking away to drop his thoughts was enough to make him feel calm once again. Calm enough that he almost did forget why he was there until he flinched at the other’s pat for a completely different reason. 

          “… I’ll pass. You’re just going to lose if I go.” he replies, gripping on his sleeve as he turns to face the eldest. Shit. When was the last time he had seen that annoying carefree face?

          “Don’t you have anything more important to do?”  

With a comment like that, it’s almost as if he had caught him in the act of having something more important to do! But Osomatsu doesn’t even falter-- he made the firm decision to cancel everything, and he wasn’t going to go back on that now! Besides, he probably wasn’t going to get hired at some stuffy office job anyway.

“What’s more important than hanging out with my little Ichimatsu?” He spits out a laugh, taking the moment to pat his shoulder a few times. 

“Do you have a better idea then? You must not know too much about this place, so I can show you around if you want!”

[matsuuno]

❝ it feels like somebody… wants to sell me something! ❞

“And this is why we never go into department stores.”

[matsuuno]

❝ you used me… for land development! ❞

“What’s that supposed to mean? I just needed a seat, so you got up. Are... are you okay?”

[matsuuno]

❝ how touching. i’m gonna go home and throw up. ❞

“Waitwaitwait, I wasn’t done! I didn’t even get to tell you about the part where we got murdered by baseball aliens! That’s the best part!”

[matsuuno]

my favorite spongebob quotes starters

feel free to change pronouns as necessary.

❝ how touching. i’m gonna go home and throw up. ❞

❝ no, please! i have three kids! ❞

❝ he poisoned our water supply, burned our crops, and delivered a plague unto our houses! ❞

❝ too bad that didn’t kill me. ❞

❝ shut your mouth, you mediocre clarinet player. ❞

❝ it feels like somebody… wants to sell me something! ❞

❝ you took my only food! now i’m gonna starve! ❞

❝ oh, so, this is the thanks i get for working overtime. ❞

❝ excuse me, sir. i hope my horrible ugliness won’t be a distraction to you. ❞

❝ if i was a mom, this would be kinda shocking. ❞

❝ how many times do we have to teach you this lesson, old man?! ❞

❝ don’t worry, pops, we’re almost across the street. ❞

❝ what?! you think i’m a robot?! ❞

❝ i can’t see my forehead. what’s your problem? ❞

❝ i tattled on him, and now he wants to strangle me with his diabolical hands! i hope they’re not dirty… ❞

❝ it’s not just a boulder! it’s a rock! it’s a big, beautiful, old rock! ❞

❝ i thought what we had was special! ❞

❝ well, it’s no secret that the best thing about a secret is secretly telling someone your secret, thereby secretly adding another secret to their secret collection of secrets… secretly. ❞

❝ a poem, by ___. roses are blue, violets are red, i have to go to the bathroom. ❞

❝ you used me… for land development! ❞

❝ you may have hoodwinked everyone else in this backwater town, but you can’t fool me! i listen to public radio! ❞

❝ by the powers of naughtiness, i command this particular drop of hot sauce to be really, really hot! ❞

❝ way to go, buddy. it took us three days to make that potato salad. ❞

❝ once, there was an ugly barnacle. he was so ugly that everyone died! the end. ❞

[matsuuno]

HOW MUCH INSERT ZODIAC ARE YOU?

bold all that apply. ( long post, some repetition ) credit to miafrda on instagram for these & these.

ARIES:   sun,   moon,   rising. short temper   /   hard worker   /   wont stop til i reach my goals  /   impulsive  /  outspoken & honest   /   always up for an adventure   /   extremely passionate

TAURUS:   sun,   moon,   rising. lazy   /   homebody   /   stubborn AF   /   shop-a-holic   /   foodie   /   not a fan of change   /   addicted to sleeping

GEMINI:   sun,   moon,   rising. talkative   /   indecisive   /   major mood swings   /   loud & expressive   /   life of the party  /   always laughing   /   love to watch drama unfold

CANCER:   sun,   moon,   rising. sensitive & emotional   /   nurturing   /   the “mom” friend   /   a bit dramatic   /   great at cooking   /   love decorating & interior design  /   crying is my therapy

LEO:   sun,   moon,   rising. lover of the arts   /   thick AF hair   /   charismatic & outgoing  /   artistically & musically inclined   /   unique or bold sense of style  /   lover of bright colours   /   humongous ego

VIRGO:   sun,   moon,   rising. organized AF   /   detail-oriented   /   mind is constantly on overdrive  /   need routine to function   /   always the group project leader  /   love to criticize for fun  /   prefer to stay in my comfort zone

LIBRA:   sun,   moon,   rising. hate conflict   /   mediator of the friend group   /   always down to party  /   hopeless romantic  /   interested in fashion & beauty   /   indecisive AF   /   friendships are everything

SCORPIO:   sun,   moon,   rising. possessive over loved ones   /   intense mood swings   /   resting bitch face   /   super strong intuition   /   never forgive OR forget  /   extremely guarded   /   interested in the paranormal or occult

SAGITTARIUS:   sun,   moon,   rising. love to travel  /   optimistic & positive  /   social butterfly  /   in constant need of change   /   do NOT mess with my loved ones  /   love to learn   /   care-free AF

CAPRICORN:   sun,   moon,   rising. hard-working & dedicated  /   love being in charge  /   dark or self-deprecating humor   / relationships and friendships are long term   /   always been on the more mature side   /   constantly need to feel productive   /   realistic & practical AF

AQUARIUS:   sun,   moon,   rising. strong political opinions  /   friendships are everything   /   love to debate   /   stubborn AF   /   interested in paranormal or occult   /   need a lot of space   /   afraid of feeling emotions

PISCES:   sun,   moon,   rising. sensitive & emotional  /   artistic & creative   /   always crying   /   very strong intuition   /  hold grudges 5ever   /   take everything personally   /   caretaker for my loved ones

[matsuuno]

He’s almost grateful for being dropped into the fountain- it covered up the fact that he had definitely peed his pants a little.

If he can’t learn to drink his Respect Women Juice, he’ll at least learn to drink his Respect Jolyne Juice even if it has to be forced down his throat.

💪+reverse. you have permission to yeet.

Send “💪” for my muse’s reaction to yours picking them up!  REVERSED

Jolyne was never really insecure about her height. Even growing up, being taller than most of the students in her school bothered her very little– save for the few times someone would comment that she was ‘too tall to get a boyfriend’. But right now? With Osomatsu? Well, maybe she just wished he was any other height than the one he was. 

A.K.A. Not fucking, perfect boob height.

Grabbing Osomatsu firmly by his upper arms, Jolyne pressed them tightly against his torso before lifting him up to her height, teeth gritting she channeled her inner Jotaro.

“If I have to tell you one more time where my face is, I’m going to punch yours in. Got it?” 

She then promptly dropped him into the nearby water fountain. 

[matsuuno]

↱

↱ = being lost with them

“I don’t think I’ve ever been down this way before...” It was crowded for sure, a busy nighttime market overlaid on the streets made it look entirely unfamiliar to either of them, even if it was so close to home. 

“Hey, let me get on your shoulders, maybe I can spot a way out of here.”

[matsuuno]

🍦🤔

🍦 Favorite flavor of icecream?

“Chocolate, duh!” 

🤔 Any foods you’ve wanted to try but haven’t had the chance yet?

“I’ve always wanted to try something fancy, like escargot or chocolate ice cream covered in gold.” He’s still thinking about chocolate ice cream.

[matsuuno]