mattywinston

[mattywinston]

He looked at her in disbelief "America and Chance?" He shook his head, though he was certain Maura was telling the truth. "So.. When Chance was a witness to those girls.. it was because he," Matt swallowed. "Killed them?"

mattywinston:

He nodded slowly. “We can take them down much faster if we had names. And we won’t hurt them unless they attack us while we try to take them down, but like, in a safe way. We’re the good guys.��

Maura nodded, and bit her lip. “A-america and Chase are the biggest ones… They’re… they’re the bad ones,” she stuttered throughout the sentence, nervous that she was even saying anything.

[mattywinston]

icequeenmaura:

Maura nodded. “I want to help… I want to help take them down. Promise me that I can help.” She let out a deep breath and looked down at the ground. “I… I don’t want anything to happen… to you. I don’t know… I’d feel responsible. I’ll give you names… but you can’t do anything rash, and I want to help.”

He nodded slowly. “We can take them down much faster if we had names. And we won’t hurt them unless they attack us while we try to take them down, but like, in a safe way. We're the good guys.”

[mattywinston]

He rubbed the heel of his palm against his forearm and licked his lips, reminding himself that this must be incredibly hard for her. "It's just, we can't let them keep going." He gave a pleading look and kept his voice soft.

Maura blinked, suddenly feeling weak. She hated herself more than she hated anything else. It hurt her to even admit that she was wrong, but around Matt she felt safe. She wanted to know what he was going to do with the names, Maura didn’t want to see anyone get hurt. She felt her throat suddenly close up, unable to speak a word to Matt; she was unable to move. 

[mattywinston]

"So," his palms started to sweat. His mouth was dry. His nerves were finally kicking in. "So do you think that you can trust me," he swallowed. "..Trust me with some of the names? Of the ones that did do it?"

Maura did trust him; more than anyone else currently. She didn’t hesitate to nod her head yes. She did trust him. “I… yes, I do.” Maura wondered what he was going to say, but she was too upset to think too hard.

[mattywinston]

“I hope so before anymore people die.”

[mattywinston]

"Oh man. Those hurt. I can't really remember what that means. Or what any of the places mean. Probably stress or water or something."

“Yeah. Behind them.”

[mattywinston]

He grabbed Isaac's hand when they touched palms and gave it a shake. "We're gonna get some good outta this." He nodded.

Isaac high fives Matt. Not really for a high five but more of not really leaving Matt hanging. “I guess so,” he responds.

[mattywinston]

He nodded, closing his eyes. "Okay. Okay. Yeah.. Okay." He felt an inability to say anything else at the moment and opened his eyes again. "You said.. that you trusted me, right?" He licked his lips.

Maura hated this feeling, she hated feeling like she wasn’t in control of herself. She cared too much, despite not wanting to care at all. She hated herself for that, and she probably always would. Matt wouldn’t change that. No one would ever be able to make her believe that she was a decent person. “I… don’t,” she muttered. Feeling a bit more comforted by the fact that Matt was still there, she relaxed a tad bit, feeling the tears slowly start to stop. “I…” Maura bit her lip, but shook her head. “No, I wasn’t.”

[mattywinston]

"Nice. We're like two sides to a coin then." He holds his hand up for a high five.

“Okay. I’ll talk to Professor Parson.”

[mattywinston]

Matt stretches his arms to put Cat on a high shelf in the library and laughs loudly. He turns to see if anyone else is witnessing this beautiful comedy and stops when he makes eye contact with someone. "Oh. Hey. I wanted to talk to you actually."

[mattywinston]

"Ah, hence the last name. Yeah, I think I'll go for Emery. I haven't talked to her in a while."

“I was thinking more Professor but I s’pose that talking to Emery would help too.”

[mattywinston]

He nods. "Like the eyes?"

“The front.”

[mattywinston]

She was shaking and it took every bit of Matt's willpower not to wrap his arms around her again. He licked his lips, tossing the situation iver in his mind. He didn't feel threatened by her, trusted her even, which is noy what he'd expect to feel around a death eater. He gave a slow nod after a moment. "Okay well, you obviously.. don't wanna do this.. anymore." He reached up and wiped tears off her face, but they were replaced quickly. "Asking for help is the first step, so.. yeah. And so, since you trust me, and since we're friends.. you need to stop and get out. But.." He nodded slowly again. "Were you responsible for any of the deaths? I need you to be honest with me."

She didn’t know how he could look at it like that. Maura couldn’t wrap her head around that, she just couldn’t. She never saw the positive in anything. She let her hair fall over her face, looking down. Her hands were shaking, her whole body was shaking. Maura could barely talk through her sobs even if she did know what to say. She didn’t want to kill Matt. He was the only person she trusted. He was the only person she felt like she could trust in a long time. Maura didn’t want to let go of that feeling. With a deep breath, she shook her head, slightly. “I don’t see it like that. Just because… it was an accident… they’re still dead because of me. They wouldn’t be proud of me now. I have nothing, I have no one. I don’t even trust myself half the time. I still hear them screaming. I could have saved them. I’m a monster. I’m always going to be a monster. I can’t see myself as anything else. I need help. Admitting that is so hard. I don’t want to be me anymore. I can’t live another day like this. I hate myself.” Maura paused, looking up at Matt before continuing. “I trust you, I trust you more than I trust anyone else.“

[mattywinston]

He rubs his nose. "Like, Professor or Emery?"

“I don’t know what we can do honestly. Talk to Parson maybe?”

[mattywinston]

"Well, I read somewhere that the place it hurts can indicate what's wrong, so I guess it can help you fix it that way." He nods, as if in agreement with himself.

Clement looks back at the textbook in front of him, set on ignoring Matt now that the tapping has stopped, but the question tugs at his curiosity enough that he can’t pass it up. “Does it matter?”

[mattywinston]

"But, but!" He shook his head and took a breath. "Just cause you kill people by accident doesn't mean you can join a group that does it on purpose." He continued to shake his head, looking at her and flattening his robes. "Are you... going to kill me now? Cause you told me?" He didn't sound scared, more confused than anything.

She didn’t know how to answer that. She didn’t know why she had joined them, but it didn’t matter anymore her thoughts at the time. Innocent people were dying. Maura didn’t want to be part of that anymore. “I– I thought. I– I… I thought since… I’d killed people– in the… past… that…” she trailed off not wanting to finish the sentence.

[mattywinston]

"Oh! Sorry." He stopped tapping his feet but continued to rock back and forth. "Where is the headache?"

“You’re giving me a headache.”