maybejunebe-blog - Tumblr blog

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The Five Stages Of Buttery Spreads

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That guy’s dick looks really weird.

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Only if they are a silly goose. 

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I was trying to find the average height of men and goggle brought me to a website where I found this. I just have so many questions; one of them being why does Megan look like Lucy Moon?

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I love how Tom Holland likes memes about himself, because that’s what I would do if I was famous. 

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Things my sister has said to me

England doesn’t have a flag. 

You don’t have enough of a German accent to speak french. 

*my finger is bleeding* Why would you put a band aid on that; that’s stupid!

*grabs my neck* HA I TOUCHED YOUR TRACULA!

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I bet you can’t. 

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I was in the store with my mom and saw these. I almost bought the first just so that one day I could give it to my boyfriend or something, but then i realized that I’m going to be alone forever and there was no point. I then told my mom I would my her the one about mothers, but she pretended not to know me.

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WHO ELSE REMEMBERS THESE SONGS?

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Keepin it cool as a corg.

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Just had a really fun omegle conversation where I pretended to be Nemo's dad

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You both like advice.

Stranger: hey

You: Hello

Stranger: giving or receiving?

Stranger: :)

You: receiving

Stranger: good because I’m giving

You: Okay this is my life story as of current events

You: My wife was killed along with my children

Stranger: I’m so sorry :(

You: I still have one son but he is disabled from this event

You: I want so badly to protect him but he is in a rebellious stage…

Stranger: is it a mental or physical disability if you don’t mind me asking

You: physical

Stranger: is this all fairly recent?

You: Well it was when he was born that my wife died

Stranger: have you ever considered grief counselling or finding a support group?

You: I’ve tried seeking help. Recently I met a disabled woman who is trying to help despite her disabilities

You: Her and I went to a counselling group but the people there were scary

Stranger: what was scary about them?

You: I was there when my wife was killed. They reminded me of her killer

You: Are you there?

You: ?

Stranger: sorry

Stranger: I’m here

You: It’s okay

Stranger: I can understand that that could be really scary

Stranger: have you got any family that can help support you?

You: I only have my son

Stranger: have you been remembering to look after yourself?

Stranger: I know sometimes it can be difficult when you’re looking after someone else or grieving a loss

You: Yes I make sure to brush my teeth every morning

Stranger: that’s good, but are you feeding yourself, making sure you have time to pursue your interests?

You: Yes

Stranger: well that’s a good thing!

You: I do comedy

Stranger: you’re clearly a really strong person

Stranger: that’s awesome!

You: Wanna hear a joke?

Stranger: sure

You: A mollusk walks over to a sea cucumber and says “with fronds like these, who needs anemones?” !

Stranger: hahaha

Stranger: that’s cute

You: Yeah

Stranger: do you do stand up?

You: people even call me a clown

You: nah

Stranger: well I’m glad you have such a good sense of humor

You: Yeah! I never told you my name

Stranger: yeah you didn’t

You: My name is Marlin

Stranger: Nice to talk with you Marlin

Stranger: I’m Katie

You: Want to hear my son’s name?

Stranger: sure

You: My wife picked it out

You: his name is Nemo

Stranger: omg

Stranger: well played

Stranger: I’ve been counselling Nemo’s dad

Stranger: <3

You: This made my day!