mbjacobs368

[mbjacobs368]

A couple paintings I did.

[mbjacobs368]

I don’t owe you!

You wrecked my world you broke my crown

But I didn’t back down

You think you ruined my life But I gave you strife

You can’t turn me into the thing you want me to be

I’ll die before I can’t be free

The things you did to me can’t be undone

I pick myself up off the ground

I put back on my smile

You can’t bring a warrior down

I put back on my broken crown

I don’t owe you a damn thing

You can’t change the way I am, I’m not like you

I don’t owe you an answer for what you did

I’m am not who you are I am who and what I am

Yes I put up a good fight

You can’t allow me to tell the truth

No matter who’s listening I will sing my song

You are not coming along

I’m free if you your not free of me

I’ll will with all my might tell the story

For the truth out ways your lies

I’m not at war with you anymore

I am at peace with this understanding

Your reckless actions didn’t make me weak or fearful

It made me a strong warrior

I don’t own anyone anything

I owe myself justice for the lack of care I didn’t give myself before

I owe myself the best of my self respect and compassion

You can’t bring me down I won’t go down for you

[mbjacobs368]

Finished this yesterday

[mbjacobs368]

I glued each individual button to this canvas.

[mbjacobs368]

Yay done ✅

[mbjacobs368]

Strange sensation

It’s strange how the mind and body often fight each other on a different level of functioning.

Often the case when it comes to sleep, relaxation, and fatigue.

I often now that I’m able to recognize this about myself I can see it in others as well.

PTSD, OCD, and anxiety all have this effect.

It’s not just a strange sensation inside your head it’s also is physical. It feels as if you are fighting yourself inside and out. Your exhausted but can’t sleep and every time you try to relax or settle down for the night or in the day time. You just can’t relax or turn off your brain.

Your body wants to keep moving and your mind wants to sleep or vice versa.

It’s indeed a strange sensation. It’s so hard to describe unless you know someone else already knows this feeling. It’s just weird really.

I used to have much worse insomnia before medication. I still often don’t sleep well for a few days at a time then I call it the crash and burn out effects. It’s very normal for me to have this happen all to often.

As you get older just saying you don’t bounce back as quickly or as well if you are in your 20s vs your 40s and so on. Of course it’s different for everyone. This is just my experience and observations.

[mbjacobs368]

Enjoying what life has to offer at this point in my life. For the majority of my life I was in survival mode. Trauma has taken it's toll.

But now with proper medicine and a good support system I'm able to have a life.

[mbjacobs368]

Adorable little baby.

[mbjacobs368]

Home is where the cat is.

[mbjacobs368]

Tour guide to the psych ward

Hello I’m your resident tour guide to the psych ward.

You can check in but can’t check out.

For the newbies:

You cannot have q-tips, finger nail clippers, or razors.

Personal hygiene is required but optional.

No matter what anyone tells you there is no caffeine in the coffee.

Snacks are scheduled but often late or early.

Meals are served at a set times but often late. Once you had one meal the next one is very soon after.

TV time is whatever is on the TV and who has the first choice of channels.

If you want to request a different channel ask a staff member and hopefully your neighbor doesn’t mind the new option. If not best of luck reasoning with them. Change is hard.

Bed time is usually around 10 pm. You cannot come out of your room until at least 7:30 am. Even though we’re all adults here don’t except to be treated like one. Often the case but not always.

Medication is your right to refuse but you will be punished for not taking your prescribed medication. Not that it isn’t good for you. But most patients are not educated on what your taking. It’s up to you when you’re discharged to look it up.

This is a general conclusion of our tour of the psych ward. If you have any questions or complaints contact the patient advocate. The number is typically available on a wall or somewhere accessible. But don’t except to get a response. The patient advocate is not typically available because of constant complaints from the residents on the psych ward and the staff and doctors don’t typically believe you because well your on the psych ward after all. We’re here for a reason.

Until the next time enjoy your visit. Hopefully the food is good.

[mbjacobs368]

Go Easy On Yourself

[mbjacobs368]

Today was a good day.