#complex ptsd

[rainywhispersblog]

[tumbleofwires]

That's kinda genius ngl

my therapist suggested i imagine my intrusive thoughts in the voice of donald trump bc i do not possess an ounce of respect for him or trust in his competence. going thru it today so i made this. hope this helps

[surrah698]

[possibly-a-secunit]

[aurangg]

Something really not talked about with trauma disorders is the paranoia.

Being scared and jumping to conclusions when people stand a little too close to you, not believing people’s compliments and thinking they have hidden motives, not believing when people tell you they like/love you, thinking that strangers you see on the street want to hurt you, etc.

[666vortex666]

accepting that you've been perpetuating the abuse that others did to you is incredibly difficult. To admit that I've been abusing myself & had fully believed that the lies I was fed were all truth.

Rewiring how my mind functions is going to take a long time..

[traumabody]

all i wanted in life was love and now i am terrified of it

[fopal]

Caleb’s Writing Appreciation Post

SPOILERS ON CALEB’S MYTH, ANCEDOTE, CARDS, AND MAIN STORY.

I might edit this.

Yes, I acknowledge it’s a game and maybe I’m taking it too seriously but I feel like I need to get this off my chest as I feel it’s the reason I create anything in the first place. Also, this is my interpretation. You’re free to agree or disagree.

Caleb from Love and Deepspace is my favorite and I like that he’s not perfect. I never really thought about why I liked him until I started seeing more analysis on his character. In a world where some of us don’t get to grow up with a happy beginning it’s nice to see what I consider a realistic depiction of PTSD. To be able to be seen and not dehumanized more than PTSD victims already are. (I DO NOT SPEAK FOR EVERYONE WHO SUFFERS FROM PTSD OR CPTSD)

There are countless media that can depict it unseriously, barely cover it, and villainize it because in a way it’s easy to. It’s easy for people to accept that the hero moved on and made their own happy ending even through the pain but that’s so invalidating. Some people can but not everyone can make peace with themselves as they don’t know how to.

Caleb is a guy who doesn’t know if he can achieve peace, instead relying on MC for what could probably be his happiness and salvation. His purpose is her and that breaks my heart because Caleb is already enough. He shouldn’t need to rely on MC for that but I understand why he does. I think what breaks my heart is the four star cards because they show Caleb in a way we didn’t get to see in the game. He’s a nerd, a role model, beloved by peers, a leader, respectful but genuinely playful. I don’t see a mask like I do in the main story. Sure he hides his feelings for MC but the rest feels real. All of it. He is so humanized and we get to see the type of person who just looks forward to what he can do. Appreciating the life he has and maybe, I like to think this, sees himself moving on and capable of healing. Healing without MC and just being able to see them separate instead of a combined pair forever.

Yet the reminder of death in the DAA is what stops Caleb because death doesn’t just mean what we all know of it, an absence, but a reintroduction. As we interpreted MC and Caleb were both experimented on by Ever. Yet every time MC died, her memories were erased and Caleb had to reintroduce himself. Messing with his psyche and damaging any structured existence of their relationship at the time. The anecdote explores his powerlessness and the constant reintroduction of the concept of death that came back to haunt him in his childhood.

How he physically doesn’t see himself enough because at the end of the day Caleb is human and he understands his limit. He can’t come back from the dead, he can't stop time, he can’t fly or has abilities that could move the world. He is just a guy which is another layer to loving Caleb because Rafayel is a merman, Sylus is a dragon, and Xavier is an alien. You get the jist. Yes, they all have powers but Caleb knows that his ability useful yet it can't necessarily change what he ultimately is. A human who can’t change the fate that is death because death does come for everyone.

He just is who he is. This is also an interpretation on my part but I deeply believe Caleb hates himself. Not just for what he did in the main story but because he isn’t strong enough for what dangers lurk in the dark. He knows they exist and what is also heartbreaking is his paranoia is correct. There are people out there waiting to hurt him and in a way he feels justified for his anxieties. He is constantly proven throughout his life that there are dangers out there waiting to kill him and MC. I think he wants to be proven wrong but it ultimately isn’t the case.

So yes, we covered Caleb is a human being who constantly is reminded death exists especially when he is made to write letters EVERYTIME he does a mission with the DAA. It might be just me but that is too much even if the intention was good. I don’t know if Caleb was lying in that five star, Floating Floraletter, that the DAA made him do it but seriously wow. That definitely isn’t helpful for his psyche. If he was the only one who did it and the DAA legit didn’t even make that a rule, then it just shows another layer of his helplessness along with trauma of the repetition that the worst part of your past will come back again.

We get to see this weighing on him especially being separated from MC for the first time when he joins the DAA. The reintroduction of death in his life and how he tries to mask this pain in front of others who see him as this rising star. He never saw himself that way, he acknowledges that he’s a good pilot but never was crazy about it. His mental evaluations are the most obvious instance showing his decline in his mental state and I think it’s because his nonchalance with his life stems from the self hatred that he isn’t strong enough which we covered. As he continues on, I think we get the most obvious and important writing of his character which is the accident. He believes he's going to die. He believes his fate has led him up to this and from what we know of the story he isn’t proven wrong about that.

How is Caleb supposed to believe his fears are irrational when the world proves they aren’t?

I think we also get to understand his trauma the most from his accident and in a way what he went through with Ever. How he felt during those days and what sort of beliefs they forced him to accept of himself which is that this is meant to happen. He has to see this as hopeless, Ever made him believe that and that he is a weapon which dehumanizes himself in the process. A weapon for MC. But when that weapon is useless or finds itself at its end then it serves no purpose. He has no purpose but what Ever made him believe and what the world in fact reinforces about those beliefs.

Something I also like about Caleb is he doesn’t use his trauma as an excuse. Never. He doesn’t even mention it to MC. She finds out about the letters on her own and from what I heard in the five star card Painful Signal, she finds out what Ever did to him. (I don’t have Painful Signal but I’m hoping everyday that it will come back 😭I also maybe be wrong but I want to experience it myself). Caleb doesn’t define himself with his trauma and I also maybe wrong about this but I don’t even think he knows how deeply his trauma is affecting him. He doesn’t even try to work through it because he doesn’t think he should as MC’s is more important. Which delves into another thing I want to get into which is codependent relationships.

Like he shouldn’t depend on MC for his happiness and should care more for himself because he is hurting MC by not doing so. Caleb is hurting the one of the most important people in MC’s life, himself. She loves Caleb but he doesn’t from what I figured, love himself especially from what the toring chip is doing in the main story. I don’t even know if he can healthily love himself with that stupid chip. How can someone love someone who doesn’t love themselves?

Yes, Caleb has done awful things. I know. Drugging MC, lying, locking her in a room, and suffocating her independence along with privacy but they make sense. I think it’s another reason why Caleb can’t love himself because he does harmful things whether it be motivated by the chip or otherwise that just validate that “yeah I deserve this because I am only those mistakes. Look what’ve you done, all you do is hurt her even if it is for her own good.” There is a conflict in his character but it all stems from an unresolved trauma that he can’t understand.

I want to say more but yeah this is just a part of why I love him because he represents what literature should represent which is written stories that speak for those who aren’t heard. People who need something to feel seen and heard whether it be trauma or relationships.

Caleb is enough and so is anyone who experienced things similar to him or are struggling with their mental health. You don’t need others for your happiness because it is possible to live your life instead of it being a survival. It’s easy for me to say those words and it is completely different applying them but healing is possible albeit as long as it’s difficult. However, it is possible and I hope it finds whoever is struggling.

[im-here4]

[littleyejin]

(＞人＜;)

[fehck]

[th1stleknight]

Quick Statistics (Definitely not a filler post while I wait for the poll to be done)

- The average alter count for adults is approximately 16. Adolescents tend to report more with their average number being approximately 24.

- Did is 6-9 times more common in females than it is in males

- It has a lifetime prevalence of between 1.1 and 1.5 percent of the population

- Symptoms typically start around 5-10 years old, with the first alters appearing at approximately 6.

- The average PWDID is diagnosed with 5-7 comorbid disorders

- Dissociative Identity Disorder: A Controversial Diagnosis

- Adult Psychopathology & Diagnosis

- DSMMD

[loveelizabeths]

love elizabeth s.

[cryingscreamingpuking]

It really makes me so damn angry how many autistic/ADHD people treat the neurodivergent label as the autism+adhd label. Neurodivergent includes ANYONE who's brain doesn't work the way it's supposed to. This includes people that have learning disabilities. People with down's syndrome. People with cluster A, B and C disorders. That includes systems/people with DID, that includes schizophrenics, that includes people with PTSD. If you have a group that is labeled for neurodivergent people, you cannot act surprised or offended if people that don't have autism or ADHD but DO have other disorders join that group. Because neurodivergent is an umbrella term. And everyone under that umbrella term deserves to be able to find community in groups named with that umbrella term.

[hello-friends9500]