me-brain-is-speaking - Tumblr blog

[me-brain-is-speaking]

I'm not good with groups. It's easier to just talk one on one rather than groups. I think it's cause I'm a emotion sponge and when in groups too many emotion make me sick/confuse/weird. Compared to one on one where i can understand their feelings way easier. It's like with a group a wall is there but the wall dissappear when I'm one on one with someone.

[me-brain-is-speaking]

24/04. I start again!! FINALLYYY

For today, i took it outside. Enjoy the sun, the sound of the wind and cars zooming by. Cats came and judge my work (lol) although i think she (the cat) approve my work hehehe

Sooo today progress, i finish one of the flowers colour. So that’s a big progress there. I'm gonna take my time and find free time to do the light pink one. And maybe add the words of "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" in green cause that's her fave colour. We'll see how it goes.

Overall, great progress and a nice much needed day

*i got less than a month to finish this so... LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOO

I start a new embroidery project but i forgot to make a diary soooo let's gooooo

I got the design ready on my first week (01/02, 1st February)

On the same day, i transferred the design on the cloth, all ready to be embroidered. If it's not clear enough, the design is a sakura tree which is one of my friend's fave flower (inlcude lily and orchid which i have no skill to embroide 😭 thus the sakura)

[me-brain-is-speaking]

Reposting this because I need to materialize it somewhere.

[me-brain-is-speaking]

I saw someone ask

"If you passed away tomorrow, what would be your regret?"

I thought about it, i came up with few answers

I didn't try hard enough or fight hard enough (it's a lie, i know i did all i can to fight but i lose)

I didn't live the way i wanted to live. I live as someone else. A shell of people's expectations instead of my wants, needs and dreams

I didn't meet the people i want to meet. The friends i made online. How i wish i could give them a hug and a big "good job. Am proud of ya"

Leaving my lil sis behind. Out of everyone, i don't want to imagine how she'll feel. I don't want to hurt anyone especially her

I didn't fall nor meet the my love one. I wish i meet 'them', kiss them, hug them but i can't. I lose my right

Leaving my friends and making them worry that they couldn't save me. They did their best. I wasn't strong enough. I'm sorry.

I guess there'll be a lot to regret huh...

[me-brain-is-speaking]

On 11/02 (3rd week), the first branch is doneee and now i have wayyy less time to embroide and am sad 😭😭😭

I start a new embroidery project but i forgot to make a diary soooo let's gooooo

I got the design ready on my first week (01/02, 1st February)

On the same day, i transferred the design on the cloth, all ready to be embroidered. If it's not clear enough, the design is a sakura tree which is one of my friend's fave flower (inlcude lily and orchid which i have no skill to embroide 😭 thus the sakura)

[me-brain-is-speaking]

On 08/02, the branch is done!!!! Ngl it look and feels good!!! I love the touch/feel of the stitch on my fingers

I start a new embroidery project but i forgot to make a diary soooo let's gooooo

I got the design ready on my first week (01/02, 1st February)

On the same day, i transferred the design on the cloth, all ready to be embroidered. If it's not clear enough, the design is a sakura tree which is one of my friend's fave flower (inlcude lily and orchid which i have no skill to embroide 😭 thus the sakura)

[me-brain-is-speaking]

On 03/02, i started to make the branches and everything. I used a simple back stitch. Also i play around with the number of strand used. 6 for the big one, 3 for the small one

I start a new embroidery project but i forgot to make a diary soooo let's gooooo

I got the design ready on my first week (01/02, 1st February)

On the same day, i transferred the design on the cloth, all ready to be embroidered. If it's not clear enough, the design is a sakura tree which is one of my friend's fave flower (inlcude lily and orchid which i have no skill to embroide 😭 thus the sakura)

[me-brain-is-speaking]

Update: they love the gift!! WOOOOOOO

Wanna make a silly little post of my progress embroidering a present to someone important to me

This is kinda a time sensitive project. I have around 3 months to do this. So, LET'S GOOOOOOO

[me-brain-is-speaking]

I start a new embroidery project but i forgot to make a diary soooo let's gooooo

I got the design ready on my first week (01/02, 1st February)

On the same day, i transferred the design on the cloth, all ready to be embroidered. If it's not clear enough, the design is a sakura tree which is one of my friend's fave flower (inlcude lily and orchid which i have no skill to embroide 😭 thus the sakura)

[me-brain-is-speaking]

Their birthday is tomorrow. I hope this goes well

Wanna make a silly little post of my progress embroidering a present to someone important to me

This is kinda a time sensitive project. I have around 3 months to do this. So, LET'S GOOOOOOO

[me-brain-is-speaking]

You spend hours doing something and you asked for help only to get a scoff. What you can do is smile, 'thank you' and walk away. Lock the doors and cry your heart out. Wipe those tears and continue doing your work alone. Finishing them without a support.

[me-brain-is-speaking]

Fuck... reading this while I'm feeling like shit is not the best thing ever.

“People are inherently terrible” no!!! Have you ever seen a child wait for their friend while they tie their shoelaces? Have you ever known someone who would bring hurt squirrels and rabbits and mice to the nearest vet just so it doesn’t suffer? Have you seen someone grieve? Have you ever read something that hit your heart like a freight train? Have you looked at the stars and felt an unexplainable joy? Have you ever baked bread? Have you shared a meal with a friend? Have you not seen it? All the love? All the good? I know it’s hard to see sometimes, I know there’s pain everywhere. But look, there’s a child helping another up after a hard fall. Look, there’s someone giving their umbrella to a stranger. Look, there’s someone admiring the spring flowers. Look, there’s good, there’s good, there’s good. Look!!!!

[me-brain-is-speaking]

I guess things are like dominoes, like chain reaction. One push and everything fall... and now I'm feeling it very much. Feeling it to the point i can't breathe. As if I'm being pulled under water. Drowning. Silence. Can't scream. Can't ask nor signal for help. Just laying at the bottom or pool/lake, watching as the day goes by. Peaceful yet suffering, painful, helpless. Getting used to the view underwater. Peaceful yet I'm dying and i can't do anything

[me-brain-is-speaking]

Ah... i want everything (me) to end...

[me-brain-is-speaking]

Ah.. to be loved like that. I wonder how that feels... to be loved soo much, they see you in your fave flowers, they see you in the night sky you love, they hear you in the song they played. They love you soo much, it overflows and they wrote it on a letter, make a poem for you, sing a song for you.

"To be loved is to be seen"

And I'm fucking invisible haha

[me-brain-is-speaking]

I am the embodiment of

"You came?"

"You called."

Me with anyone who i cross path and didn't end in worst way (which luckily is no one) so i would be there for anyone that called me

[me-brain-is-speaking]

Sometimes what i need is someone who is patient and never give up on me. Sometimes smack me cause that's what i need. I got nobody and i need to make peace with it. No one will know the real me and it's okay. I gotta live with it