melancholicvnt

[melancholicvnt]

This is an update to a previous post. tl;dr on the previous post: My roommate/fiance and I (intersex, trans respectively, both disabled) need to flee to a safer state because of increasing fascism in our state. We have a place waiting, more affordable, more consistent work, food we will be helping to grow and preserve, etc. Long-established farm of a friend situation, not some overly ambitious and inexperienced project. It's a move that could very much save our lives. This is where I answered an anon asking about the situation.

In the past week, we have found out that our roommate, who intends to stay here for a variety of reasons, will probably need cancer treatment after all-- its been a lot of flip-flopping on the issue from her doctors. We are waiting for more information, but the general idea of "the cancer is for sure there, a problem, and will need something done about it" is clear. I am having to devote a significant amount of time to helping with the advocacy side of her situation. We are currently unsure what her future in regards to moving or, frankly, anything else might look like.

Because of that whole situation may need to raise our goal, but as it is now, we aren't really on track to move before winter as we'd hoped. That being said, the goal below is a monthly goal with getting moved by winter being the end and total goal. Progress has slowed immensely since the first week or so.

Dm me for proof or more details, or send me an ask ig. I am also vetted by @kyra45-helping-others, who does scam busting on here, and @milkweedtussocktubers has vouched for us on previous posts as an instrumental ally in this move. I have an artblog @theartistrans and a kofi where I run a casually educational newsletter and other such stuff in the tiers if you'd like a different way to support. Examples of the stuff I do on my artblog are below the cut.

PP V $C kofi GFM

$2,136/$3,000

[melancholicvnt]

This is an update to a previous post. tl;dr on the previous post: My roommate/fiance and I (intersex, trans respectively, both disabled) need to flee to a safer state because of increasing fascism in our state. We have a place waiting, more affordable, more consistent work, food we will be helping to grow and preserve, etc. Long-established farm of a friend situation, not some overly ambitious and inexperienced project. It's a move that could very much save our lives. This is where I answered an anon asking about the situation.

In the past week, we have found out that our roommate, who intends to stay here for a variety of reasons, will probably need cancer treatment after all-- its been a lot of flip-flopping on the issue from her doctors. We are waiting for more information, but the general idea of "the cancer is for sure there, a problem, and will need something done about it" is clear. I am having to devote a significant amount of time to helping with the advocacy side of her situation. We are currently unsure what her future in regards to moving or, frankly, anything else might look like.

Because of that whole situation may need to raise our goal, but as it is now, we aren't really on track to move before winter as we'd hoped. That being said, the goal below is a monthly goal with getting moved by winter being the end and total goal. Progress has slowed immensely since the first week or so.

Dm me for proof or more details, or send me an ask ig. I am also vetted by @kyra45-helping-others, who does scam busting on here, and @milkweedtussocktubers has vouched for us on previous posts as an instrumental ally in this move. I have an artblog @theartistrans and a kofi where I run a casually educational newsletter and other such stuff in the tiers if you'd like a different way to support. Examples of the stuff I do on my artblog are below the cut.

PP V $C kofi GFM

$2,136/$3,000

[melancholicvnt]

a simultaneous, black hole of all-consuming emptiness between my ribs and explosive emotions that threaten to burst my body at the seams

[melancholicvnt]

do you guys also ruin every good thing in your life or is that just me

[melancholicvnt]

[melancholicvnt]

I really don't know what to do with my life anymore

[melancholicvnt]

I don’t know why i haven't kms yet if everything I do feels like something to feel guilty about

[melancholicvnt]

being honest , I’m scared of recovery, this is all I know how to be.

[melancholicvnt]

They should invent a method of asking for reassurance that nobody secretly hates you that doesn't make people secretly hate you.

[melancholicvnt]

If I truly let people see me they will get scared because that's how I feel when I sit alone with my thoughts.

[melancholicvnt]

I wanna cry but no tears are coming out my heart hurts

[melancholicvnt]

i ruin everything i touch, but selfishly i keep touching, hoping something will be different.

[melancholicvnt]

you like me?? for my personality?? the same thing they named my disorder after...????

[melancholicvnt]

i’m so disconnected from the reality rn, i feel heavy. i don’t feel real and i genuinely only hear sounds because there’s people around me. i forget things faster than usual. i feel like i’m in a dream?

[melancholicvnt]

i’m sorry my pain is hard for you.

i’ll try to be quieter next time.

[melancholicvnt]

𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭.

[melancholicvnt]

Go ahead and convince yourself you’re innocent

That kind of guilt would eat me alive too