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“He steps into the abyss and immediately bounces back, taking 5 narcotic damage.”

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[Image Description: eXtraterresticles @Theilluminati80 tweeted: 'Water is a drink who's flavor is its temperature.' at 10.52 pm on 10 Sep 18.

The profile picture is of a man wearing blue sunglasses and gesturing backwards on an empty road between two stretches of grass. End description.]

Truth

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Dm: the innkeeper get angry and jumps off the counter

Player one: I kick it

DM: interesting, roll strength

P1: 20

DM: you repaint the wall with the innkeeper

Me: this is why we cant have anything nice

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i really hope caleb’s coat is padded around the shoulders

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Theves' Cant

Context: We are leveling up and I (O) am multiclassing into rogue. There are four players and one GM.

O: “Does anybody ever use thieves’ cant?”

L: “No. Nobody uses thieves’ cant.”

S: “Because thieves can’t!”

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It was a long-ass time ago but at some point the players encountered an elf that was giving them directions to the nearest town and telling them what all was there. Elf: And there’s an inn there where you can rest and get fed up- (was trying to go for like a medieval speech pattern or something, just meant they could eat there lmao orz) Dwarf Rogue: IM ALREADY FED UP. *long pause* Elf: *opens mouth to speak* Dwarf Rogue: WITH THIS ADVENTURE.

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Paladin: Where the fuck am I?  (She fell into a cavern of some sort)

DM: Roll perception…

Paladin: *rolls nat 1*

DM: You have no clue.

Paladin: Where the fuck is everyone else?

DM: Um…perception.

Paladin: *rolls 2*

DM: You have no fucking clue.

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Thus Super Crown Kirby was born and chaos spread. That’s it

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Some quick, simple spells for modern campaigns, partially inspired by the ‘Modern Magic’ Unearthed Arcana. The photo in the right corner was taken and edited by me.

If you’d like to see more 5e homebrew, consider supporting me on ko-fi!

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if anyone would like to learn a couple tricks for carving pumpkins:

- dont cut out the top to scoop out the seeds, cut out the bottom instead. this way the pumpkin doesnt cave in on itself and lasts longer - sprinkle some cinnamon inside at the top after carving. this way when you put the candle in it smells like pumpkin pie

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Happy Juneteenth Tumblr✊🏿✊🏾✊🏽✊🏼

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Lisa Wright (British, b. 1965)

Beneath the Strangeness of it, 2020

Oil on canvas

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“I’m throwing a wrench into the concept of reality.”

— Devon.

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me in a Best Buy: excuse me, which one is the best

employee: I’m sorry, what?

me: which is the best to buy

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overlord is really just about Demiurge winning Employee of the month over and over and over again

twitter

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[Image Description: on Discord, Veylan Rahkda rolls to be an idiot. RPBot rolled 19. Veylan Rahkda responds with a 'hell yeah'. End description.]