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────── ⋆⋅☆ ILLICIT AFFAIRS, SAM WINCHESTER

summary. Being in love with his brother’s girlfriend drives Sam insane.

↬now playing| illicit affairs by Taylor Swift

⭑.ᐟshould I write a part two where they physically cheat so I can make some people cry for Dean? 🤭

word count. 748

supernatural masterlist/full masterlist

──────────୨ৎ──────────

Sam stares as his soul is being ripped apart from him for the millionth time.

He stares until he feels his heart shatter into smaller parts day after day.

He’s not sure how his heart still works.

He’s not sure he has one anymore, actually.

He stares, he wonders, he tries not to cry because surely he’s being ridiculous.

He’s probably the worst brother in history of brothers.

He knows he doesn’t deserve you.

He sure as hell knows he’ll never have you.

Maybe that part of him that hopes so much is what keeps him alive after all.

The nights spent wondering about what life would look like if only you’d chosen him and not Dean.

The countless dreams and what ifs keeping him awake constantly- wanting nothing more but to just love you.

He thinks maybe loving you from a distance will still help- because at least he still gets to- you’re still an important part of his life- at least he has that- you.

He wants to scream sometimes.

He wants to scream at Dean, because although Sam knows he loves you, you still deserve better.

Maybe not him- but better.

Maybe it’d be easier if you were with anyone else other than his brother.

Maybe he wouldn’t want to scream so much.

He wants to scream at you to wake up and see what’s right there in front of you.

He wants to show you everything he’s ever wanted to give you.

Then- loving from a distance doesn’t feel so right anymore.

It feels itchy, like it’s right there under his skin, like it’s laughing at him, playing, making him believe all this time only to hit him in the face with the reality that it’s truly never going to happen.

Surely you’ll get your happy ending.

Maybe with Dean- probably not.

Maybe with a stranger.

Maybe with Sam in another life.

Sam’s not so sure he deserves a happy ending.

Not with you.

Not with someone else- because truthfully, he doesn’t see himself loving anyone other than you, and that eats at him.

His brain plays tricks sometimes.

He swears he can see you looking from across the room.

Glancing at him and looking away the moment he catches your eye like you didn’t mean to be caught.

He sees you bite your lip when he talks like you can’t hear a single word he says, like you need him in order to breathe.

He probably imagines all of it.

The way you reach for his hand trying to comfort him- as a friend.

The way you look at him when dean’s not looking or not around.

The way your hands get sweaty around him, the beat of your heart fastening and him swearing he can almost hear it.

He’s not okay with the what ifs.

He wants to tell you.

Except he doesn’t.

He doesn’t want to be a horrible brother.

He knows his brother would kill him.

He doesn’t want to break that bond with him, drift away only because he wasn’t fast enough getting the girl of his dreams.

He doesn’t act but he wonders if you feel it.

If you feel the tension, sometimes sexual, sometimes just in the air like unspoken words eating at the both of you like torture.

He wonders if maybe, just maybe there’s a chance out there.

In 20 years.

Right now.

In another life, or universe.

He stares at the ceiling at night thinking about all of the times he could’ve acted on it before you even thought of falling for Dean.

He doesn’t know that you do the same thing.

You think about all of the times he reached for your hand and you pulled back as if you didn’t see it because you were too scared.

You think of the times he’d read to you to help you fall asleep, something Dean’s never done.

The way he’d ramble about his favorite books, geek over his favorite movies not knowing you actually love them just as much.

It’s unspoken but it’s there.

Maybe Dean deserves to know.

Maybe you don’t deserve either of them.

Perhaps the universe is sending you messages with the way you can’t stop thinking about another man.

About Sam.

A small part of you wishes that Dean would just up and leave. Break your heart so Sam can patch it up.

Maybe that makes you a terrible person.

But maybe love is there.

Maybe it’s never going away.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

taglist: @tinas111 @blossomingorchids @bluemerakis @l0v33-rey @sunnyteume @that-stanford-girlie @mostlymarvelgirl @bohoooitsme @beelzebzb (comment to be added!🤍)

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────── ⋆⋅☆SUPERNATURAL MASTERLIST

REQUESTS ARE OPEN<3

──────────୨ৎ──────────

DEAN WINCHESTER

your camera roll if you were dating Dean

⭑.ᐟ my favorites

-good run(falling out of love series) || individual parts, you don’t have to read the others unless you want to! (They’re good I promise) (angst)

-morning coffee (fluff, bit of smut)

-birthday boy (fluff)

-right or wrong (angst)

-dating dean headcanons

⭑.ᐟ others

-dad!dean headcanons

-married life with Dean headcanons

-close (angst-ish/one bed trope)

-ride a cowboy (smut)

-make it shine (fluff/pop star!reader)

-guilt tripper (angst)

-unanswered (part 1) (angst)

-midnight confessions (part 2) (angst)

-sweet love (smut)

-second hundredth chances (angst, smut)

-final blow (angst, so so sad)

-a little too late (angst)

-Taylor swift songs Dean would be secretly obsessed with

-messy breakups with Dean headcanons

-solo chase (angst, fluff?)

-makeup testing (fluff)

-bourbon kisses (fluff, smut)

-dear ghost (angst)

-sadness talks (angst)

-out of reach(falling out of love series) (angst)

- bad dreams protector (angst)

-last goodbye (angst)

-rainy confessions (angst)

-Livin’ on a prayer (fluff)

-I know it won’t work (angst)

-quiet nights | SAM AND DEAN WINCHESTER x READER (fluff)

──────────୨ৎ──────────

SAM WINCHESTER

your camera roll if you were dating Sam

⭑.ᐟ favorites

-sick days (fluff)

-slow mornings (fluff)

-dating sam headcanons

-baby talk (fluff)

-birthday boy(Sam’s version) (fluff)

⭑.ᐟothers

-illicit affairs (angst)

-life’s way (fluff)

-caretaker (fluff)

-dancing queen (fluff)

-maybe(falling out of love series) (angst)

-let it happen (fluff)

-wrong direction(falling out of love series) (angst)

-family reunion (angst)

MY FULL MULTIFANDOM MASTERLIST

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I wanna write for Clark Kent and Barry Allen so bad 😩😩😩 please send requests they might just help me get out of my slump lol

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I can’t believe we’re 600 on here… thank you so much for sticking around, reading and supporting my work!

I haven’t been active at all in the past 2 months because to be honest it’s been the most stressful and worst months of my life.

In between losing my dog so suddenly this week, money anxiety, waiting anxiously to get an apartment, finally getting it and realizing that I’m leaving home in September when a year ago I couldn’t even make a phone call without my mom’s help or take the bus without having a panic attack…

It’s been super bad mentally but still getting to interact with you guys without necessarily putting much out helped me a lot:)

I’m trying to come back slowly and trying not to put too much pressure on myself because at the end of the day this is just a silly little hobby and my life doesn’t depend on it lol

But seriously, it’s been a hell of a year, hopefully starting September I’ll feel a whole lot better and I’ll come back stronger !

I don’t think I’ll ever be as active as I was February-April because I’ll be starting school and I’ll be working on the side but knowing myself I’m not giving up on this, I just need a little time to feel like writing again.

Please, I’m still on here a lot so if you do have any requests feel free to send them I’ll gladly take a took and get on with it when I feel like it :) if you want to talk, my DMs are ALWAYS open, so is my ask/request box so if you feel like it you can send me stuff (whatever it is) through it :) (please do I’m always so bored)

Again, thank you so much for sticking around and being so nice and welcoming.

Anyway, love you, take care, talk to you soon<3

🤍

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My dog died today and then I got a job 😍😍😍😍😍😍 today is not fucking real💀

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Hi… Ahahaha…. So.. I’m alive?

I’m sorry I completely deserted this app if I’m honest I almost forgot about how much I used to write because I haven’t in so long!!

The last couple of weeks have been so hectic BUT!

Guess who got the apartment she wanted 🤭🤭

I have 10€ left to my name until my last pay day in two weeks, still no job so i don’t even know how ill be able to pay my first rent since im moving in on September 1st but at least im getting the hell out of here!

Now I’m pretty much counting down the days, sending cv’s everywhere I can hoping I’ll get something before July’s over.

I also turn 21 in a month and I’m SO excited except I’ll have to spend my birthday alone so that’s not too fun I’ll probably just spend it at the cinema lol

Anyway, i promise im trying to come back, the small amount of requests i have haven’t really been helping me so if you have any please send them hopefully I’ll have this huge strike of motivation and write it aha

IF I don’t come back in the next week I’ll still post some updates, some fun stuff other than writing because I don’t wanna stop coming here, I love it and I miss you guys lots.

If you have questions or just wanna talk both my dms and my ask/request box are open so don’t hesitate please <3

Love you, hopefully coming back so so soon🤍

Thank you for still being here. :)

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Hi… Ahahaha…. So.. I’m alive?

I’m sorry I completely deserted this app if I’m honest I almost forgot about how much I used to write because I haven’t in so long!!

The last couple of weeks have been so hectic BUT!

Guess who got the apartment she wanted 🤭🤭

I have 10€ left to my name until my last pay day in two weeks, still no job so i don’t even know how ill be able to pay my first rent since im moving in on September 1st but at least im getting the hell out of here!

Now I’m pretty much counting down the days, sending cv’s everywhere I can hoping I’ll get something before July’s over.

I also turn 21 in a month and I’m SO excited except I’ll have to spend my birthday alone so that’s not too fun I’ll probably just spend it at the cinema lol

Anyway, i promise im trying to come back, the small amount of requests i have haven’t really been helping me so if you have any please send them hopefully I’ll have this huge strike of motivation and write it aha

IF I don’t come back in the next week I’ll still post some updates, some fun stuff other than writing because I don’t wanna stop coming here, I love it and I miss you guys lots.

If you have questions or just wanna talk both my dms and my ask/request box are open so don’t hesitate please <3

Love you, hopefully coming back so so soon🤍

Thank you for still being here. :)

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just dropping to give a BEAUTIFUL PERSON AWARD. Once you're given this award, you're supposed to paste it in the ask of eight people who deserve it. If you break the chain, nothing happens, but it's sweet to know so. I think you're beautiful inside and out, never forget to love yourself! 🤍

LOVE U SO SO MUCH!!!!! (yes I’ll uno reverse and send it to u cuz you’re just the best)

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Could’ve saved the tears for today because I still don’t have an apartment and got rejected for the 3rd round of applications so 12 times total in 3 weeks 💀 I have no dignity left between this and being rejected from literally every single job my town offers

LOSER LOL

apparently I like pain because I was about to go to sleep but I felt like listening to music before, never grow up came on and instead of skipping it knowing for a fact it was gonna affect me because I know what apartment I’m moving in in September TOMORROW! I decided to listen to it.

My eyes are burning.

Why would I do this to myself.

I don’t think I’ve ever cried so hard to it because it’s legit about to become my reality IJBOL wdym ‘ I just realized everything I have is someday gonna be gone ‘ SHUT UP

Anyway, needed to share. Goodnight lol

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apparently I like pain because I was about to go to sleep but I felt like listening to music before, never grow up came on and instead of skipping it knowing for a fact it was gonna affect me because I know what apartment I’m moving in in September TOMORROW! I decided to listen to it.

My eyes are burning.

Why would I do this to myself.

I don’t think I’ve ever cried so hard to it because it’s legit about to become my reality IJBOL wdym ‘ I just realized everything I have is someday gonna be gone ‘ SHUT UP

Anyway, needed to share. Goodnight lol

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So ahhahaha… another life update? I need to vent :)

Last week I was supposed to get an apartment, with the system I’m in, you have 4 wishes. I didn’t get any. Today was the second round, didn’t get any either.

I’m at a point where this morning I was barely awake I cried because I just wanna get out of this house, and city and finally be alone and independent.

It’s crazy because I’ve worked a lot, I’ve been an au pair twice abroad and yet I still feel like I haven’t done anything.

Going back to school at 21 is weird enough for me but the fact that the French government hates students because we’re all broke says a lot. The amount of money I’ll get from the state is ridiculous to cover rent groceries and basically living so I won’t have a choice but to get a job and juggle both and that already stresses me out so much.

There’s 2 more rounds of applications for the apartments so I’m sure I’ll get one but I probably have to give up on the one I want the most:(

Today was so weird because I got the news, cried a bunch. Got a call for a job, turns out they don’t want someone for just the summer, cried a bunch more because I really need a job and they played with my feelings. At 3, yet another call for another job for which I have a job interview tomorrow so praying it goes well and I kill it!

I ended up getting a 3rd and final call for ANOTHER job but apparently now they don’t put whether you need a drivers license or not so I told her I didn’t have one and she immediately said no so I got yet another surge of false hope lol.

It’s been super challenging mentally because I felt like I didn’t care up until today but the pressure actually built up and now I feel like I’m going insane.

All of that on top of what I have to deal with at home ( blaming, my mom playing ‘who’s my favorite kid? It’s not mel!’ Every single day. Getting yelled at every time I complain about life,random stuff or about my brother being selfish or doing stuff wrong because god forbid I talk bad about the kid that literally made her go insane for years, a 27 year old male who’s never been able to hold onto a job, thinks twitch is gonna make him famous, treats her like shit etc..)

ANYWAY! Venting needs to stop nobody’s gonna read that far but I needed to let it out because I’m so incredibly stressed I wanna pull my hair out. The heat doesn’t help I can’t sleep, days are fucking endless, I’m sticky I’m literally sweating WHILE IN THE SHOWER! How insane is that.

If you wanna give me life updates please do, I’ll gladly read that I’m bored and I love talking to you guys :)

Ps: not doing that so you guys can feel sorry for me. I don’t have it hard compared to so many people, I just needed to vent a little lol.

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────── ⋆⋅☆ ILLICIT AFFAIRS, SAM WINCHESTER

summary. Being in love with his brother’s girlfriend drives Sam insane.

↬now playing| illicit affairs by Taylor Swift

⭑.ᐟshould I write a part two where they physically cheat so I can make some people cry for Dean? 🤭

word count. 748

supernatural masterlist/full masterlist

──────────୨ৎ──────────

Sam stares as his soul is being ripped apart from him for the millionth time.

He stares until he feels his heart shatter into smaller parts day after day.

He’s not sure how his heart still works.

He’s not sure he has one anymore, actually.

He stares, he wonders, he tries not to cry because surely he’s being ridiculous.

He’s probably the worst brother in history of brothers.

He knows he doesn’t deserve you.

He sure as hell knows he’ll never have you.

Maybe that part of him that hopes so much is what keeps him alive after all.

The nights spent wondering about what life would look like if only you’d chosen him and not Dean.

The countless dreams and what ifs keeping him awake constantly- wanting nothing more but to just love you.

He thinks maybe loving you from a distance will still help- because at least he still gets to- you’re still an important part of his life- at least he has that- you.

He wants to scream sometimes.

He wants to scream at Dean, because although Sam knows he loves you, you still deserve better.

Maybe not him- but better.

Maybe it’d be easier if you were with anyone else other than his brother.

Maybe he wouldn’t want to scream so much.

He wants to scream at you to wake up and see what’s right there in front of you.

He wants to show you everything he’s ever wanted to give you.

Then- loving from a distance doesn’t feel so right anymore.

It feels itchy, like it’s right there under his skin, like it’s laughing at him, playing, making him believe all this time only to hit him in the face with the reality that it’s truly never going to happen.

Surely you’ll get your happy ending.

Maybe with Dean- probably not.

Maybe with a stranger.

Maybe with Sam in another life.

Sam’s not so sure he deserves a happy ending.

Not with you.

Not with someone else- because truthfully, he doesn’t see himself loving anyone other than you, and that eats at him.

His brain plays tricks sometimes.

He swears he can see you looking from across the room.

Glancing at him and looking away the moment he catches your eye like you didn’t mean to be caught.

He sees you bite your lip when he talks like you can’t hear a single word he says, like you need him in order to breathe.

He probably imagines all of it.

The way you reach for his hand trying to comfort him- as a friend.

The way you look at him when dean’s not looking or not around.

The way your hands get sweaty around him, the beat of your heart fastening and him swearing he can almost hear it.

He’s not okay with the what ifs.

He wants to tell you.

Except he doesn’t.

He doesn’t want to be a horrible brother.

He knows his brother would kill him.

He doesn’t want to break that bond with him, drift away only because he wasn’t fast enough getting the girl of his dreams.

He doesn’t act but he wonders if you feel it.

If you feel the tension, sometimes sexual, sometimes just in the air like unspoken words eating at the both of you like torture.

He wonders if maybe, just maybe there’s a chance out there.

In 20 years.

Right now.

In another life, or universe.

He stares at the ceiling at night thinking about all of the times he could’ve acted on it before you even thought of falling for Dean.

He doesn’t know that you do the same thing.

You think about all of the times he reached for your hand and you pulled back as if you didn’t see it because you were too scared.

You think of the times he’d read to you to help you fall asleep, something Dean’s never done.

The way he’d ramble about his favorite books, geek over his favorite movies not knowing you actually love them just as much.

It’s unspoken but it’s there.

Maybe Dean deserves to know.

Maybe you don’t deserve either of them.

Perhaps the universe is sending you messages with the way you can’t stop thinking about another man.

About Sam.

A small part of you wishes that Dean would just up and leave. Break your heart so Sam can patch it up.

Maybe that makes you a terrible person.

But maybe love is there.

Maybe it’s never going away.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

taglist: @tinas111 @blossomingorchids @bluemerakis @l0v33-rey @sunnyteume @that-stanford-girlie @mostlymarvelgirl @bohoooitsme @beelzebzb (comment to be added!🤍)

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Sam fic to illicit affairs ( he’s in love with Dean’s gf *you*LOL) INCOMING!!!!!!!!!!

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☆ ⋅ ⋆ your camera roll if you were dating Spencer Reid…

Yet another character I could make a million of these with lol<3 (Please send Spencer Reid requests i need to start writing for him again im losing it)

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Didn’t know what to do, put on the 100 season 2 for the first time since February (a record for me, I never go more than a month without watching it) because I lowkey missed Bellamy and DAMN I MISSED HIS VOICE. Like I just realized his voice might be the hottest thing about him. I wanted to put season 3 on because it’s his hottest look but I did miss Finn too so… ( yes I’m a Finn defender. Yall won’t make me hate that man. If I hate Finn, then I hate Bellamy and that’s just not a thing -season 3 part 2 does not exist btw.)

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Don’t mind me reblogging this lol just in case yall didn’t see requests are open!!!

Working on one right now, but as said I’d like to do this weekly and in order to do that I’d love to get some more requests :)

Thank you if you participate!!!

(Also I didn’t expect anyone to say no why did that kinda hurt my feelings😭)

Okay I just got an idea but I need to know if yall would be interested! I want to find a way to stay consistent and not fall back into the writers block I’ve been in for a whole month, so I figured I’d ask if this is something you’d like to see on here.

I thought maybe, I could start posting weekly fics WITH songs request. I don’t want to put them out on a specific day BUT song prompts, song lyrics, or songs as a whole! You’d have to send requests in order for me to do that + who you’d like me to write for(from my masterlist!)

Should I start next week if I do get requests..(open now btw) would anyone be interested? :)

wait I would also love to start writing for real people… like actually celebrities. If u have requests for that… please send them my way<3 I’ll write for literally anyone I have a crush on at this point. (Lewis Pullman perhaps?)

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────── ⋆⋅☆ LIFE’S WAY, SAM WINCHESTER

⭑.ᐟ needed to post something because I feel bad for deserting this app so here a cute-ish little something I just wrote:) please interact and send requests if u have any!

word count. 470

supernatural masterlist/full masterlist

──────────୨ৎ──────────

Life is quiet.

The street sounds outside of the motel are blocked off by yours and Sam’s breathing.

Your head rests on his chest along with your hands. His are around you like he’s afraid to let you go, because he doesn’t want you to disappear.

He wonders if you’re even real.

His fingers trace patterns on the cold skin of your hips left bare.

Sam stares at the ceiling, his mind full of thoughts,fears and questions.

Your eyes are closed, not to sleep- but to concentrate on the beat of his heart pumping against his chest to calm your own.

Hunts are always draining.

At this point you’re not sure where Dean is- you just know his room next door has been left untouched since he showered and left.

He’s the only one to do that. Have the strength to go out after a hunt instead of rotting in bed like you and Sam do.

Both of you use this time to resource, rest, and hold on to each other like your lives depend on it because frankly- that’s kinda how it is- especially after hunts that prove to you that you could die right then and there. You could be taken out within seconds and there’s nothing anybody could do about it.

Unless maybe you make a deal for the other.

Which Sam would do in a heartbeat- and so would you.

It’s an unspoken rule though. He knows you’d kill him if he did that for you- and he’d probably hate you forever if you did it for him.

That’s where his mind wanders.

What if you’d died hours before?

What if you die on the next hunt? Or he does?

Did you get enough time together?

Do you know how many people he’d kill for you including himself?

You do.

But you wonder the same.

So as you lay there, calming down from the high, the adrenaline, the few scares the hunt gave you- you take it all in.

You don’t have to talk.

You hold each other, you breathe him in, watch his figure closely the moment he decides to close his eyes trying to draw a perfect imagine of him in your mind so he’s painted behind your eyelids so if something happens to him, you’ll still see him even with your eyes closed.

Sam dreams of you.

He dreams of the live you could have if only you could get out of this.

He thinks it might happen one day-when you both don’t depend on helping people so much, or when you finally feel the courage to tell Dean that’s him, and not either of you.

It may be your life now, but it doesn’t have to be forever.

As long as you’re together, you’ll adapt.

That’s life with Sam. The meaning of it anyway.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

taglist: @tinas111 @blossomingorchids @bluemerakis @that-stanford-girlie @mostlymarvelgirl @l0v33-rey @sunnyteume @bohoooitsme @beelzebzb (comment to be added!🤍)