merakiliving

[merakiliving]

Small snapshots from last week's run. 🌼

We saw this fairytale, cottagecore house and this nappy siamese cat. 🥹 small wins are always worth celebrating.

New Beginnings / Hope / Lucius - Two Of Us On The Run / Self Love / Joy / Petal Covered Roads / Smiles Of Puppies / Golden Hour / Silent Wishes

[merakiliving]

Places where a variety of stories can be found in one place.

It's been raining so hard lately and while I always love the cold weather, I also want to go running again :< and as much as I don't mind running in the rain, I also just recovered fron a cold. In any case, while the skies are busy cleansing the soul of the soil, I'll be in my nook doing my thing. 🦄✨️

[merakiliving]

07/20/24

When you're born in a world of blue, you can clearly see just how different and contrasting your own energy is against it. Nonetheless, own it. Think of it this way, you were sent here because maybe the world needs a little less blue and a little more of you.

Parcels - Bemyself / Street Lights / Wet Streets / Taste of Pennies / Heading Back Home / Cutties Ties / Courage / Hard Truths

[merakiliving]

"My desire to work—my desire to engage with my creativity as intimately and as freely as possible—is my strongest personal incentive to fight back against pain, by any means necessary, and to fashion a life for myself that is as sane and healthy and stable as it can possibly be.

But that's only because of what I have chosen to trust, which is quite simply: love.

Love over suffering, always."

Elizabeth Gilbert, Big Magic (p. 215)

The idea of the tormented artist has always been romanticized in the art community that I was in before. Let alone, the art community in general. I was conditioned to think that I can find validation and meaning as an artist if I am able to translate my suffering onto paper. Honestly, the process was detoriorating my overall health. And when I look back at my older illustrations, while I love them, it made me think that I was also romanticizing my trauma as a way to cope with it. Reading Big Magic is like getting the right prescription from a doctor to treat this "illness". That there is a way to deprogram the self and dive into a healthier and a joyful way of creating again. A balm to heal the art heart. Who's to say that the ones who went through the deepest pain are the greatest artists only? After all, art is subjective. Whatever you see in the painting, is merely only a projection of what you believe in, whether consciously or not.

To put it in a more cohesive example, I look to Zuko from the ATLA series in reference to the tormented artist's journey of healing. His creativity and his skill as a creator (expressed as his fire bending) is rooted in his anger, simply because he has not yet processed the root of his issue. By the time he entered the Gaang, the realization of suddenly losing his creativity dawned on him. And in his journey of finding the true meaning of creativity (his journey to the dragons), he has been reborn with the sole knowledge that Fire, in its true essence, is simply creation. The first element that starts the cycle. The seed to which all life springs forth from. Being connected to that truth now, he finds his peace and his healing as he forges his fire from a new and soulful source.

Don't get me wrong though, some of my favorite works are from the creators that have found a way to bring light, beauty and even healing through their suffering. And by sharing that, it also grants us that awareness of our own pain. But the idea that only artists being tormented by their baggage is the only way to make art, is absolute garbage. I'd much rather enjoy my creative process than to suffer for it. Pain can be draining. Why would I want my life to be abundant of that? I'd much rather grow up to be healthy and sane and STILL making art.

[merakiliving]

07/16/24

Taking creative self portraits is another way for me to "draw" without having to overcomplicate my compostion and concept and instead focus on experimentation. So here's me dipping my toes in the more "grungey" venusian, dark feminine type of vibe. I like to think that the oversaturated neon colors contrasting bold shadows fit my venus in cancer and my lilith in the 5th house very well. 💅💋🖤🥀

Lana Del Ray - Black Beauty / Neon Pink Glasses / Moving Out Of The Nest / Freedom In The Body / Peace / Pampering Tools / Lilith / Cord Cutting

[merakiliving]

07/15/24

Had such soulful and honest conversations with a best friend. By the time the rain was slowly coming to a stop, my heart was feeling lighter. Both the rain and @shielakobsss words cleansed me of worry and doubt. Frankly, living as a human being is a full time job already. And in times of bleak and heavy days, you can always count on your loved ones to hold you when you need it.

Lorde - Green Light / Running In The Rain / Growing Up / Honest Conversations / Loyalty / Good Habits / Neutrality / Night Walks / Saturn Retrograde / Small Miracles

[merakiliving]

07/14/24

All I can see today is this subtle yellow hue over everything that's under the sun. It could be because I met this really warm puppy named Summer at a café we were at earlier. Today was just warm, warm, warm. Like how a sunflower feels being hugged, if limbs were made by rays of light. As if trying to bottle it up in its petals before the night beckons its presence to be noticed. If light can be turned into a trinket or a souvenir, somehow it would look like this.

Intimacy / Warm Hugs / Neon Signposts / Cookie Crumbs / Deep Kisses / Aerosmith / Canine Friends / 11:11 / Leo Energy

[merakiliving]

Some arcade photos with an old best friend. When in doubt, go to one. Get your hands on that claw machine and go win yourself a plushie for god's sakes! 😋

[merakiliving]

7/10/24

Some small observations at a coffee shop. My cappuccino was almost empty and cold by the time my good friend arrived. Needless to say, it was her presence that woke me up. The coffee did a bad job at that. ☕️

The Gloss of Maple Syrup Over Waffles / The Sweat of a Cold Drink / 777 / Stories from an Old Friend / Muji Stores / Small Reunions and Small Wins / Stay Alive - José González

[merakiliving]

While I always love the classic and dramatic portraits that I take of people, personally I love the up close details of features where you can clearly see the fine lines of wrinkles from their eyes. You may never know if they're made up of smile lines or whether they were aged with worry. It's so easy to miss the details nowadays. In fact, I noticed that people are 'afraid' of details. Of being too up close and intimate. Somehow, we are taught to be protective of our stories when in fact, sharing this is how we heal each other. Show me your stretch marks and scars, your acne marks that are still healing, your faded tattoo and the rest of you. Tell me how you got them and in turn, I'll say thank you for your story and remind you to thank yourself too because you lived. You lived.

[merakiliving]

I know it's been a trend lately (and for good reason!), but getting a digicam for myself is honestly such a big deal of JOY for me! I remember back in highschool I used to join this photojournalism contest and we were told to use digital cameras for our entries. We took photos around the school campus with the theme 'nature' in mind. It was my first time joining, I had no idea what to do other than to follow my instincts. And to my surprised, I won first place! Ever since then, my little hobby became therapy for me growing up. In my late teens to early 20's, I was already taking up gigs to shoot for people's events and portraits pre-pandemic. Unfortunately, things went to a halt. The world was going through a healing phase and I was too.

I got myself this little trinket as a gift for my inner child and as a birthday gift for me. I'm glad I did! This is the Vetek 2 btw. It's not much but it does the job for me. I freaking love how tiny it is, I can slip it in my pocket easily and shoot with it wherever I go. 📸💕

[merakiliving]

7/7/24

Doing master studies of William Turner's unfinished landscape. Ironic. Nevertheless, I'm feeding my creativity by exploring and understanding color through the masters. Have I mentioned July has been mostly "orange" for me lately? It smells like wet oranges whenever I hear the word 'July'.

Bleeding Colors / Occlumency / Protection / Yellow / Pencil Shavings / José González - Stay Alive

[merakiliving]

7/6/24

Testing out a fresh digicam over the weekend with my partner. Playing with purple and yellow tones gives me SO much satisfaction. It's like scratching an itch except the itch is somewhere between my brain and eye.

Harry Potter / The Little Prince / Starbucks / Instant Ramen / Eyelash Wishes / Journey - Open Arms / Lucky Pocket Gnomes