messofbones

[messofbones]

I'm done with my binge cycle and I'm back bitches let's get skinnyyy

[messofbones]

My bf and I are going to Panera tomorrow and I was really scared cause last time I went was before ed so I had no clue about cals but it turns out my chicken soup bread bowl is 780 cals!!! It is mostly carbs though but as long as I try to do small little workouts throughout the day I think I'll be alright. It'll be a hearty meal that'll fill me up for pretty much the day and I'll still come in under my max cals 💕

[messofbones]

Personal rules (tw)

This is just for me!! These are unhealthy please do not follow them

1. Try to eat under 500 cal a day.

2. 1000 cal is the absolute maximum. That is what a toddler eats. Do not eat more than a toddler.

3. Drink water as much I can

4. Try to skip at least one meal a day

5. No eating after 9:30 pm

6. Do planks and situps randomly throughout the day.

7. Do not binge!!!! When I feel like binging, look at Tumblr and don't leave my room until the feeling goes away. Try to distract myself.

8. Never feel full. Always leave a little bit left on your plate, even if it's just a bite.

I think that's it for now. Again, these are my personal rules. They are unhealthy. Do not follow them.

[messofbones]

Big tw for this one lads

Genuinely feel like dying. I gained. Ate too many chocolates anyway. I'm tired. I'm sad. I tried playing the sims and even that didn't make it better. I want to be hurt but I don't know why. I'm so fucked. I keep hitting myself in the leg when I get frustrated and I secretly hope it bruises. All I want is to be held by my boyfriend and hear him tell me it'll be okay. But his great grandma died today. He doesn't need any of my bullshit to deal with too. So I just won't say anything.

I don't want to go to sleep but I'm so tired. Time feels so much longer when you're awake. Sleeping just fast forwards me to the pain and suffering I get to endure tomorrow. I don't wanna eat anymore. I wanna starve starve starve starve starve starve

I wish I could be a little again. But my boyfriend doesn't want to do it because it stresses him out too much. And that's valid and totally understandable. But I need it so bad. I need to feel small and pure and uncaring and innocent. I can only eat when I'm regressed. I'm tired. I'm so tired.

[messofbones]

I feel fat af and I have an incredible urge to do sit ups but I'm at school and I can't just drop to the floor in the middle of geometry and do sit ups yknow ugh

[messofbones]

Did you ever just feel so lucky for knowing someone you met online? Like.. I was one click away from not following you. I was one second away from never even knowing of your existence.  I would never have been this happy. 

[messofbones]

Just binged on rice cakes ???

[messofbones]

Bf is bringing me ricecakes bless his soul

[messofbones]

Stomach: *rumbles* food pls??

Me: oh you need some more monster buddy? Here you go pal

Stomach: ???????

[messofbones]

This is how I ended up like this. My mom and I have the same body type. Hell, she's skinnier than me, but she constantly calls herself fat. "You're gonna get fat if you keep eating sandwiches" thanks mom. Great reminder not to fucking eat

Don't talk about weight loss and diets to your daughter, don't talk about weight loss and diets around your daughter, don't comment on your daughter's weight, don't tell her she has to weigh herself every once in a while, don't ruin your daughter's relationship with food, don't make her feel bad about the way she looks. I'm sorry if diet culture fucked you up but please try to break the cycle instead of perpetuating it. Thanks.

[messofbones]

Some people’s 500 calories is fruits and veggies.

Others eat a piece of cake and a couple fries for the day.

Some people drink green tea or coffee to keep them going.

Others drink nothing because they desperately don’t want to break a fast.

Some people tell themselves it’s okay to eat over 1000 calories every now and then, it’s healthy even.

Others cry their soul out for going one calorie over.

Some people exercise regularly, keeping in mind what exercise will best help them get to their “goal.”

Others exercise constantly, because they need to be in the negative calories.

Some people were bullied once or twice or maybe even never for their weight.

Others are bullied relentlessly.

Some people fast no longer than 15 hours.

Others fast for days on end.

Some people start already in the normal range.

Others start in the overweight range.

Some people have never gone to rehab.

Others are in and out of inpatient care constantly.

Some people have tried recovery, and are striving to reach recovery status every day.

Others never want to recover.

But you know what?

All of them have a valid ed.

All of them deserve love, support, and help.

Ed’s do not give a shit about your background, age, gender, weight, race, religion, habits, grades, bringing-up, family, or anything else.

All they care about is controlling you.

[messofbones]

I think I'm addicted to self destruction and depriving myself of things I need. Food, sleep. I'm spiraling and I don't know what to do

[messofbones]

requested by sparkerlily

[messofbones]

[messofbones]

Want to wear a cute outfit tomorrow so I'm excersizing tonight before I go to sleep, and then I'm going to eat 60 cal for breakfast, skip lunch or just eat small, like a nutrigrain or something so that I'll look skinny and nice all day at school

[messofbones]

Yall ever just exercise to cope