messy-haired-bum

[messy-haired-bum]

I can write essays about how Cale's percieved nonchalance upon his world being upended yet again emotionally destroyed me. He woke up to find himself in a new world and was like 'This might as well happen' because he's just so used to the world taking from him one after another that he figures that loosing his name, body, team, history, his entire fucking world, is just par for the course. Hell, he even has the time to feel guilty about possibly taking og!Cale's place.

On that note, the White Star really should go and get bent.

[messy-haired-bum]

Recently I’ve been thinking about the different types of love languages in Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint, The S-Classes That I Raised, and Lout of the Count’s Family…

Not to say that each of the stories describes only one single kind of love language; they are, after all, all novels that focus on Found Family, with many different types of relationships between characters that express their love for each other in as many different ways.

Yet, I’ve noticed how at the core of each of these three stories there is one specific act of love that recurs more than others, and that becomes the true Theme each novel revolves around.

In Lout of the Count’s Family, the main love language is providing food and a home.

“Home” is such an important concept in LCF that Cale collects houses like they were pokemon cards. The source of his trauma when he was a child as Kim Roksu was that he was not given sufficient food, and that where he lived was not truly a shelter where he could feel safe, just a place he was trapped in.

And I don’t think there are ever more than 2 chapters in a row without a character offering food to others, or asking if they’re hungry, if they’ve eaten, why haven’t you eaten, here have some apple pie!!

Cale uses his newfound money and power to make sure his loved ones are provided for. That’s how he adopts bonds with most of his new family.

The first thing Raon does after he’s freed from the prison he’s been trapped in all his life, is to leave food for this hopelessly weak human.

Choi Han, who has lived alone in a dangerous forest for decades, would do anything to protect his home.

The Crown Prince, who has been isolated and untrusting of everyone ever since his mother died, makes sure to always have cookies in his bedroom in case guests “break in” for a visit at any time of the day or the night.

I love you, you’ll never be hungry again. I love you, my home is your home.

In The S-Classes That I Raised, the main love language is words.

Yoojin’s powers are literally activated by telling people “I love you”. Because all he ever wanted was to say “I love you” to his brother one last time.

Because the tragedy that starts the story happens because Yoohyun loved and protected his hyung in secret for years. Silence creates misunderstandings, it creates distance, it leads to loss.

Loving someone isn’t enough, tell them! Reassure them. Remember what they say, because their words are important!!

Ever since the regression, Yoojin always let people know when he loves them and appreciates them. “You’re perfect, you’re cute, you’re so talented, you’re so handsome, you are loved.”

And as the novel progresses, whenever Yoojin is in pain, or doesn’t know what to do, he turns to Sung Hyunje because he needs to be reassured, he needs to know he did well, he needs to hear he is still important to the people he loves.

I love you, please know that I love you! I love you, please tell me you love me back.

And finally, in Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint, the main love language is time.

Time is one of the greatest sources of horrors in ORV. Eternities upon eternities of suffering, being trapped for ages in the same, hopeless loop, wishing for everything to just stop.

And yet, time is also the greatest gift characters give to each other.

Because the wounds Dokja suffered as a child, and then again and again through his whole life…. They need time to heal. They need so much time. They will probably take forever.

So let them take forever.

Despite how much pain and worry he causes his companions by giving up on himself over and over again, his companions never give up on him. And he doesn’t understand why!! He doesn’t think he’s worth it. But it’s not his choice, it’s theirs. And they will go through as many tries, as much pain, as much time as it takes, before they can finally save him.

I love you, so I will wait fifty years for you. I love you, so I will live through thousands of lifetimes to find you. I love you, so I will read and reread your story for the rest of time, just to keep you alive.

[messy-haired-bum]

Ahahahaha true, I didn't think of that!

Rereading the manga a bit and......

Guys, where does this notion that Conan is a freeloader come from???

Yukiko (under the guise of Edogawa Fumiyo) paid the Mouri family 10 million yen in child-rearing expenses! That's "fuck you" money!! The Mouri are essentially hired to take care of Conan!!! He's not their charity case, they are his nanny!!!!!

Stop saying he's freeloading oh my god????

(p/s: I'm pretty sure the only one freeloading is Akai lmao, since I'm pretty sure he doesn't pay rent to live in Kudo's house.)

[messy-haired-bum]

Ahahahaha true, I didn't think of that!

Rereading the manga a bit and......

Guys, where does this notion that Conan is a freeloader come from???

Yukiko (under the guise of Edogawa Fumiyo) paid the Mouri family 10 million yen in child-rearing expenses! That's "fuck you" money!! The Mouri are essentially hired to take care of Conan!!! He's not their charity case, they are his nanny!!!!!

Stop saying he's freeloading oh my god????

(p/s: I'm pretty sure the only one freeloading is Akai lmao, since I'm pretty sure he doesn't pay rent to live in Kudo's house.)

[messy-haired-bum]

Rereading the manga a bit and......

Guys, where does this notion that Conan is a freeloader come from???

Yukiko (under the guise of Edogawa Fumiyo) paid the Mouri family 10 million yen in child-rearing expenses! That's "fuck you" money!! The Mouri are essentially hired to take care of Conan!!! He's not their charity case, they are his nanny!!!!!

Stop saying he's freeloading oh my god????

(p/s: I'm pretty sure the only one freeloading is Akai lmao, since I'm pretty sure he doesn't pay rent to live in Kudo's house.)

[messy-haired-bum]

Hi! Let's talk about: Conan's terribly kept secret, and how come he doesn't seem to mind that Akai has pretty much figured it out (and teases him about it)

I'm not going to lie, I think about this a lot and I've wanted to make a post dissecting the whole thing for a while. It's one of those details within two characters' relationship that says a lot about their overall dynamic, in my opinion.

So, to start off, let's address the secret in question and what it means to Conan. Basic stuff, but it's a useful starting point.

The first and greatest motivation behind Shinichi's efforts to keep his situation a secret from Ran is that he doesn't want to endanger her (good idea in theory, not so easy in practice, but this post isn't about that).

In time, this also becomes valid for everyone who associates with Kudou Shinichi and/or Edogawa Conan, given all the stunts he pulls as the latter. Just to be on the safer side, those two identities should remain separate.

Now, here's the first real "outsider" who figures out Conan is Shinichi.

I'm kind of reading this as Conan attempting to call Hattori's bluff, but as soon as he realizes that the guy is serious about telling Ran everything, he drops all pretenses and comes clean about the APTX.

Now, since this is still pretty early on in the manga, we can argue that Conan's identity hasn't been solidified just yet and Shinichi doesn't know how dangerous the Organization actually is, and combining that with the fact that Hattori is pretty much a stranger, the pros of conceding defeat on the matter and explaining himself to a fellow detective definitely outweigh the cons.

(This also gifts us with the funniest swaggest most whimsical duo ever, but I digress /silly)

And after Heiji, we have the man, the myth, the legend. Hondou Eisuke. His case is kind of particular, in that he doesn't really try to get the secret out of Conan. The truth is presented to him due to something unrelated (asking Ran out), which is apparently reason enough for Shinichi to out himself.

I do believe that Shinichi felt secure enough in doing this for a couple reasons: first and foremost, Eisuke is at least marginally aware of the Organization and the danger it represents, and he knows the importance of keeping secrets given both his sister's situation and his career choice. Secondly, Eisuke is leaving Japan: sure, there's a chance he might stay in contact with his friends via text, but he has no reason to tell Ran about Conan's real identity in the first place.

The real "danger" here was the possibility (very, very small. Basically non-existent, to be honest) that Ran would say yes to Eisuke's proposal to go to the States together (where, in Shinichi's mind, he wouldn't be able to follow, where he wouldn't be able to watch over her, where he felt he would lose her in every way that matters), and that chance, no matter how small, warranted an intervention. Not exactly pure logic, but that's teenagers for you (affectionate).

Alright, so what about people like Masumi? She even has an advantage in that she already knows about the existence of a drug that makes people shrink: her own mom looks like a middle schooler because of that. She's in danger no matter how you look at it, and she's clearly been keeping that secret the same way Agasa, Hattori, and the Kudous have for a good while. So how come she doesn't get to join the club?

The answer is, of course, the risk factor.

Masumi, as we all know, wouldn't know the meaning of subtlety if it hit her in the face with a baseball bat. We love and cherish her regardless, but admittedly, that's not a trait that would inspire trust in a pair of teenagers hiding their continued existence from an evil syndicate.

That's right! We have her timing to keep in mind as well. Masumi is added to the scene well into the main timeline's events, which means multiple things:

Conan's identity is finally well-established and separate from Shinichi's. Ran has had her suspicions in multiple instances, but they've been assuaged every time. Still, that balance is hard to maintain.

Shinichi is now fully aware of just how dangerous the Organization is: he's now much more reluctant to just share his secret willy-nilly with random strangers, even though they might prove to be useful allies in the long run.

Conan isn't the only shrunk teenager running around anymore: Haibara has just as much reason as him, if not more, to want to keep the number of people in the know as low as possible. By revealing his own secret, there would be virtually no way for Shinichi to keep Haibara out of the metaphorical line of fire.

Therefore, a variable that behaves like this...

Or this...

Isn't very likely to garner much favor from either of these two.

Something to take note of, though, is the fact that Conan pretty much only ever panics when Masumi brings up his identity if she's making an active effort to also bring the matter up with people who are firmly on the "Absolutely Cannot Find Out" list (Ran especially).

In multiple other instances, when Masumi alludes to being aware of Conan's ruse but talks to him one-on-one and makes it clear that the comment is a one-off occasion (and that she's not going to push it this time), Shinichi doesn't really lose his cool.

He may stumble over his words a bit, but the moment isn't played as dramatic or high-risk, per se. It's more as if he were being privately teased about his situation— sort of like as inside joke. It's not exactly welcome, but it also doesn't raise any alarm bells since it stays between him and Masumi.

Now, would Conan's problems with Masumi's nosiness be solved if he gave up and admitted the truth she already knows? Of course, but that's not really the point.

The issue is that this wouldn't be happening on his terms. He would be giving in to someone's else's demands, and in addition to that, Masumi has been asking non-stop about the antidote that Shinichi intermittently uses to get back to normal.

That, above all else, is what makes the endless dance of denial necessary, I think: admitting the truth also means outright admitting that prototypes of an antidote exist, and that means exposing Haibara (both her past work and therefore criminal background, and what she's been working on these past few months: letting Masumi have even a single pill would mean the MI6 getting their hands on it in turn, and that's pretty much not something anyone wants), which in turn would probably set off a very unpleasant chain reaction for everyone involved.

When Shinichi conceded defeat with Hattori, it wasn't on his terms either, but at least he knew the guy didn't really have any ulterior motive apart from his one-sided beef with the Detective of the East.

With Masumi there is no such certainty— quite the opposite, in fact, which is why I think this is the reason he's been so insistent on denying the truth even when he now knows full well that Masumi's can be no mere suspicions.

With all that said, let's get to the point of this bad boy! (I did not think this analysis would get so long. Holy shit)

Let's start with the fact that Akai operates on a pretty simple need-to-know basis. If something isn't relevant to what he's trying to do, he tends not to mention it. Still, he's not exactly strict about this: when Conan mentions Akai and Masumi's familial relation, he takes it in stride and gives his own confirmation because he sees no reason not to.

Now, this of course doesn't mean that he can't get curious about things himself, or that he won't conduct his own investigations on said things. His M.O., however, is very different from that of, say, Hattori or Masumi. It can probably be chalked up to maturity and years of experience, along with the simple matter of his personality, but Akai doesn't exactly make a spectacle of things.

He knows when to push and when to let go in a manner that still gives him the answers he seeks. He easily manipulates Conan into giving himself away as Shinichi while still making sure to be the only one witnessing that moment.

And then he decides to be a bastard and give Conan a heart attack... for about a tenth of a second, since as he does that he also carefully words things in order to give the kid an easy out.

All Akai wanted was to figure out the mystery in front of him (he's by admission a curious guy. He likes solving puzzles): now that he has his answers, he's not really going to do anything with them because he has no reason to— Conan is already willing to cooperate with him and the FBI (and has already done so before), after all. They already share intel more or less freely. He's literally living in the kid's house. For free. Why would he jeopardize any of that by falling out of favor with him?

This, I think, is a pretty solid basis upon which I can build my beautiful sandcastle.

Of the couple times in which Akai respectively asks Conan about his identity outright and mildly teases him about his circumstances, the context always plays a huge role.

In the first scenario, the two are speaking in public, yes, but at the same time the conversation is:

Pretty much kept private

Initiated by Conan (he asked for information first!)

Framed as a proposal of a mutual exchange by Akai, who also backs off immediately as soon as Conan turns him down

Of course, Shinichi is already reasonably sure Akai has him figured out anyway, so the point is moot, but it's still nice to get plausible deniability and still be somewhat in control of when he's going to come clean to the guy of his own volition.

In the second scenario, the situation is even more "secure" so to speak, as:

They're sitting in Okiya Subaru's car

They're completely alone

They're in a hurry to do something else (God fucking dammit, Shuukichi)

In this case, Conan doesn't outright react to the jab. Maybe it's because he doesn't really know what to say, or maybe it's just that he doesn't have enough time to come up with a reply before Shuukichi picks up the call. Either way, he does perhaps look a little put on the spot, but there's no real panicked reaction, no telltale change in what Conan's pupils look like in true DetCo fashion, which I'd say confirms he doesn't feel threatened at the moment.

(If we really must give it a critical interpretation, maybe the bit feels a little like a joke falling flat because it was made during an otherwise tense moment and it has nothing to do with the bigger issue.)

It's also worth noting how Akai's dig directly ties into his own circumstances, which possibly helps with lowering the "offensive" charge of the words. It's not a direct accusation, but rather a mildly humorous, harmless observation about their shared status (presumed dead by the enemy).

The biggest thing about both scenes is still, however, the fact that Akai unfailingly frames the subject in a way that leaves the choice of whether to actually talk about it completely up to Conan. He definitely recognizes his position as privileged/advantaged, but actively chooses not to make use of that, and he hasn't treated Conan any differently ever since verifying his suspicions either.

(Sidenote: I do believe that keeping the kid's identity from his own colleagues is also a strategic choice. Like I mentioned before, outing Conan would mean outing Haibara, and I do believe Akai's promise to protect Shiho also includes keeping her far away from any government agency who may be interested in what she knows— and what she's done.)

In conclusion: I am extremely normal about random interactions between these two and also I think that Conan's unshakeable trust in Akai stems from how the guy has been treating him ever since they started collaborating— with genuine respect (and even admiration) and never actually making him feel cornered the way so many others do, whether intentionally or not. This results in occasional sillygoofy privileges because Akai can recognize the time and the place in which it's acceptable to tease the Cone.

[messy-haired-bum]

Hey OP, the post button is optional you know? *crying ugly tears*

I felt kind of guilty for not doing anything for Choi Han and Choi Jung Soo on the eighth so I made this little comic as a compensation present for both of them. First time making a comic, pls go easy on me!

And what are you saying? Choi Jung Gun who?

Bonus

[messy-haired-bum]

Another year, another chap lol

As a happy birthday to Cale and all the Chois, I brought gifts!!!!!

A 17k+ chapter 16 and a bonus 2k2 deleted scene - Basically, a 20k words update for my reaction fic ayyyy

[messy-haired-bum]

“Hey Dongsaeng, do you by chance want to be the Prime Minister?” “…….” Cale looked at Alberu with a gaze that made it seem as if he truly had been wronged. It was Alberu’s turn to flinch. Cale’s complexion looked good since his return from the Central Plains, but seeing this extremely hurt gaze tugged at his heart. “…That was so mean of me.” Alberu apologized and Cale happily accepted it. “Yes, your highness. That was too much.”

- Part 2 - ch 208

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

The unholy laughter I let out at this ahahahahahahahaha

[messy-haired-bum]

Guys!! Surprise!!! I'm actually still ALIVE!!!!!!

[messy-haired-bum]

Cale being indignant that someone dares try to die on him while perma-dying himself is very on brand of him lmaoo

Aipotu is gonna be so lit I cant waitt

[messy-haired-bum]

We have updated our list of third-party tools, userscripts, and bookmarklets! It’s not a complete list, just a selection of things we found around the net or that were pointed out to us by users. Some of these were even created by AO3 coders when not working on Archive code. \o/ However, please keep in mind that we can’t provide technical support for any of these unofficial tools. If something stops working, pls contact the creator who can look into a fix.

Here’s a few of the newest additions and classic add-ons:

If you use Google Drive to work on fics, fannish meta, or other text-based fanworks, you might have run into formatting issues when copying from Google Drive to our Rich Text Editor. In particular, italics and bold text will not be carried over correctly when copy-pasting the text. To solve this problem, OTW Translation volunteer Min has created a script for Google Drive that will take your finished work and convert all basic formatting into HTML for you. You can see it in action in this example document for posting to the AO3. Look for the “Make a copy…” option in the File menu, which will put a private copy of the document into your own Google Drive account. Then just delete the sample text and use the blank document for your own writing. When you’re done, hit the “Post to AO3” menu to prepare the whole thing for pasting into the HTML editor with a simple button click. HTML tags will be added for you! In most cases, this will be much more reliable than using the Rich Text Editor.

To view all Movie fandoms or any other of our fandom listings sorted by number of works instead of alphabetically, use this Reorder Fandoms bookmarklet by carene waterman.

Front end coder tuff_ghost cloned the popular Tumblr Savior script for use on the Archive: AO3 Savior lets you define creators, tags, or summary keywords and will hide all work blurbs that contain one or more of these terms.

Check out adevyish’s AO3 Lazier userscript which adds a Latest Chapter button next to the chapter dropdown.

The AO3 Statistics CSV Bookmarklet by Flamebyrd lets you download your AO3 work stats (number of hits, kudos, bookmarks etc.) as a .csv file, which can be neatly imported into a spreadsheet for your own number-crunching.

[messy-haired-bum]

Recently rediscovered project: a Cale shimeji

Essentially a desktop pet that can run, climb, multiply, throw your current window page out of the frame, be dragged around by your mouse, etc.

There's like 90 img files and I did 6 about a year ago but now looking back I have to redo them all bc

he aint supposed to have those white things around him.

Actually, now I know why I dropped this project lmaooo

[messy-haired-bum]

i may be less normal about yudrain than i previously thought reference for the text on hope under the cut

open for better quality | no reposts

[messy-haired-bum]

The way the White Star had to invent a massive lore for Cale just to cope with the fact that somehow this 20-yr-old twink is casually wrecking his ass is honestly so funny lmaoooooooo

I think that's why Cale can trap him with Embrace so easily: the moment Cale revealed the truth, the White Star's ego physically cannot cope lmaoo

Imagine inventing yourself an archnemesis, only to find out that no, you are just a delusional bastard with a fragile ego, and that for close to 6 months, said "archnemesis" even tried to dissuade you a couple of times because you are that pathetic to him.

I would not recover fr

[messy-haired-bum]

The Sun is dead and love is an unbearable thing (On Yudrein Aile & Grief)

(Above) KOURAISSANT / (Aeschylus: The Oresteia, Aeschylus & The Oresteia: Agamemnon, The Libation Bearers, The Eumenides, Anne Carson) / Things Haunt, Joshua Jennifer Espinoza / Chapter 514, Turning, 쿠유 / Morning in the Burned House, Margaret Atwood / The opposite of a haunting is something very lonely, heavensghost / A Rosario Castellanos Reader:  ‘Memorandum on Tlatelolco’, tr. Maureen Ahern / Sue Zhao / The Song of Achilles, Madeline Miller / The Empress Yamato Hime, tr. Kenneth Rexroth / Spring and All, Cathy Park Hong / UNDER A STAR CALLED SUN / there is no absolution for the fallen, only the dying, p.d / Chapter 1, Turning, 쿠유 / Lesbos (From Ariel), Sylvia Plath

(Below) The Haunting of Bly Manor (2020), dir. Mike Flanagan / 6CHO1

[messy-haired-bum]

Yuder, casually: You are the only one who can command me. I never even thought about throwing out any gifts you've ever given me even when I felt conflicted over you. The only future I see is the one where you are in-

Kishiar: