#kishyu

[kouraissant]

In the examination of a (love poem) name

On a name that was a love poem, On Yudrein Aile, On Eternity (Above) The Vine, Tennessee Williams / Chapter 445, Turning, 쿠유 / Dear [ ], Nick Lantz (2018) / Soft Human, Emery Allen / Handle with Care, Jodi Picoult / Headless John the Baptist Hitchhiking, C. T. Salazar / Maria, West Side Story (Below) Letters to Milena, Franz Kafka

[cluelessgeometry]

DYING OF CUTENESS

[kishiar-la-orr]

not incredibly well-thought because i'm just typing down thoughts briefly but

to me, the first timeline is the slightly less fairy tale-like version. the second timeline can be called a fix-it, an everything-goes-right, a best case scenario, which needed a grand plot device in the form of yuder regressing in order to happen at all. there must be tons and tons of different versions of first timeline where some things go right, some things also go wrong, in different ways whether miniscule or catastrophic. its not the worst though. things could go even worse, im sure.

there's a lot of takes surrounding first timeline kishiar with differing points. (also, as you know, im a glazer). and after running through a lot of them, it just makes me think that personally, a novel so nuanced and with a lot of complex interpersonal and intrapersonal happenings like turning needs to be approached with good faith and compassion. in my experience, doing that helps maximize my enjoyment of it.

second timeline kishiar is a 'green flag ML', yes, but he can only run because first timeline kishiar walked. what is turning if not about love and humanity? and the thing about loving while being human is, love doesnt stay pure all the time. sometimes its twisted, sometimes its murky. sometimes even when the love is pure, the communication gets lost in the middle. love happens even when people have a lot of difficult situations in their lives or even when they think they're not in a good place to be loving other people. first timeline yuder was also still green and less mature than second timeline yuder, a lot less equipped in many ways. second timeline yuder himself also needed to mature a lot before he could properly begin a relationship with second timeline kishiar that's grounded in trust and the expression of genuine care.

so many factors are being taken into consideration when writing turning, i think. thats why it becomes such a beautiful piece of work that can touch the hearts of many people, with characters and storylines that resonate with a lot of the fans. i find that it's turning's biggest charm. first timeline kishiar isn't a perfect victim nor a perfect 'toxic ex-boyfriend'. he tried his best and his best still had repercussions that are less than ideal for the people he loved whom he left behind. of course, there's also the fact that the story is mostly written through the main character yuder's perspective. i think i enjoy turning the most when i can see it through this type of lens, trying to keep in mind where the characters are coming from and empathize with them and taking the novel (as all fictions are) as a lesson in humanity.

[lovefrombegonia]

He loves Kishiar in all name variations...

[anrisimps]

CHRISTMAS TIMEEEEEEEE (I HAVE THREE DAYS OFF LETS GOOOOO)

Santa also gets one christmas present because he has been such a good mew mew all year long~ 💞

[loosingmoreletters]

“Did the child live?” Yudrein asked, his gaze fixed on Keilusa while his face was blank.

He did not resemble the panicked man collapsing in Keilusa’s study just hours earlier, once again embodying the perfect picture of the Cavalry commander his brother had left behind as though a parting gift that could make up for his absence. If the priest were here, he would throw a fit over Yudrein sitting up already.

“Is this why you wanted to retire?” Keilusa asked instead of answering Yudrein’s question.

Kishiar la Orr dies first. Keilusa is left to pick up the pieces.

[corvidaes-crow]

My favourite small details when writing this fic bc I don't have any inspiration:

Kishiar being the God of Eternity and Yuder being his (chosen) eternity.

Kishiar has to fight every waking moment of being a full god to stay in this time, this place, this game ("it seems intent on leaving his body behind")

When "Yuder felt his body grow cold", it was Kishiar transferring the rest of his divinity, not blood loss. Sneak 100.

Not canon in this fic but maybe 'eternity' decides that if there was any reason to let Kishiar return, there'd be none better than Yuder 'Yudrain' Aile. It's Divinity's confirmation that they chose the right human. What dedication to the concept Kishiar is god of, to even call the man he loves, 'eternity.'

[achlys-1974]

Privilege. "Loving you was a privilege, seeing your pain was a privilege, living by your side was a privilege, but if asked....did I returned that privilege then I couldn't have said anything, for loving you was a right I didn't had and losing you was the only choice left."

Achlys1974.

[anrisimps]

Also them

I’ve noticed a consistency in my favorite ships

[kouraissant]

The Sun is dead and love is an unbearable thing (On Yudrein Aile & Grief)

(Above) KOURAISSANT / (Aeschylus: The Oresteia, Aeschylus & The Oresteia: Agamemnon, The Libation Bearers, The Eumenides, Anne Carson) / Things Haunt, Joshua Jennifer Espinoza / Chapter 514, Turning, 쿠유 / Morning in the Burned House, Margaret Atwood / The opposite of a haunting is something very lonely, heavensghost / A Rosario Castellanos Reader:  ‘Memorandum on Tlatelolco’, tr. Maureen Ahern / Sue Zhao / The Song of Achilles, Madeline Miller / The Empress Yamato Hime, tr. Kenneth Rexroth / Spring and All, Cathy Park Hong / UNDER A STAR CALLED SUN / there is no absolution for the fallen, only the dying, p.d / Chapter 1, Turning, 쿠유 / Lesbos (From Ariel), Sylvia Plath

(Below) The Haunting of Bly Manor (2020), dir. Mike Flanagan / 6CHO1

[cluelessgeometry]

Man i love Yuder and Enon's relationship...

Like Yuder don't act like this – playing the game of the one being hurt, letting himself being somewhat babied – with anyone else! Not even Kishiar ^^ But with Enon, he goes far and beyond not to upset him even though he knows Enon won't really get upset...

With the cavalry, he's the Commander's assistant, the Spirit of the Cavalry, the role model, the superior. Yes, Gakane and Kanna consider him a friend, and I think he does too, to some extent, but there's this... sense of hierarchy in their relationship. At least for me.

With Kishiar, too, there's a bit of a hierarchy: he's his boss, his Commander, a member of the royal family, but even beside all this, someone Yuder admires. And loves. The difference in status is erased by the difference in skills (since even with Kishiar being an extraordinary person, Yuder still has something like 9 years on him being the Cavalry Commander) and by their love to each other. But Yuder still has trouble getting babied by Kishiar (for example: he asks about why Kishiar feeds him a lot of sweets and only learning that it's a way for Kishiar to show his appreciation that he makes the conscious effort to accept it).

But with Enon, there's none of this. Enon is a real tsundere, someone who nags at you while taking care of you. But he's a simple man: he doesn't want Yuder to get hurt and is trying his best to help him uncover the truth about his regression and the cracks. But that's it: he doesn't expect anything else from Yuder (and not from anyone else, btw). No payment, no thank you, nothing. The only thing he wants from Yuder is that he doesn't put his body and soul through hell. And maybe because he's simple to figure out, maybe because he's not that different from past game! Enon... but Yuder is okay to play hurt by having his cheeks pulled. He's okay to head to the infirmary as soon as he wakes up, so Enon doesn't get upset. He's okay with bowing to Enon in gratitude for saving him (even though Enon nags at him for bowing, despite being the one to suggest such action). He's okay to call Enon Big Brother. And i think it's soooo adorable 🥺

[anrisimps]

The dead are always watching (Wip) Redraw of this

[loosingmoreletters]

“Commander,” Ever greeted him, speaking for the Cavalry as a whole. “We’re glad to see you returned.”

If Yudrein Aile was surprised, he didn’t show it. His face was not as pale as it was the day he left for the palace and it shamed Ever how much selfish relief she felt as seeing his improved condition. The man in front of her didn’t look healthy yet, but his stay under the care of the imperial palace’s medical team had done wonders for Yudrein. Guilt bit at Ever’s heels.

Ever Beck considers a question.

[regressor-fam]

Im so so soooo normal about Agneo. Only my every waking thought is filled with them, nothing much hahaha

[cluelessgeometry]

⚠️ this is full of spoilers (until at least chapter 1000)

You're definitely right about the fact that we feel this way because of Yuder. I'm one of those who purposefully tried to separate the two and hoped there won't be some arc where both Kishiar fuse or something... because even if their core is the same, we're also the sum of our circumstances and experiences and how they shape us. And there's too much difference between the two for them to have their own personalities.

I think Yuder definitely loved first game! Kishiar, in his own way... but what he has with current Kishiar is so precious... it's like past game! Kishiar would have "tainted" it if I admitted they were the same person.

It also hurt that Kishiar had to somehow compete with this version of him that doesn't exist anymore yet kinda does, be it in Yuder's memories or in the cracks. I know that there was no real competition because we're in Yuder's head, but still... I felt for Kishiar. Does Yuder's love for him stem from the relationship he had with his alternative universe's self? This connection that they have, is it because Yuder and him want it or because it's some kind of remnant of what Yuder has with that person? Plus, how could Kishiar really think past game! Kishiar is the same as him since he has no recollection whatsoever of what he did... he can try to understand (and he does, like with the cavalry commander attire past game! Kishiar prepared for Yuder). But if I were him, I'd still have my (reasonable) doubts.

And there's also the matter of Yuder's second gender manifestation. It's a bit difficult to call it r*pe imo since they both lost their mind* and had Kishiar been in a state where he could make a sound and deliberate decision, he wouldn't have done it. And he regretted it too... But still, it's also difficult to think of it as something consensual, especially when I remember how Yuder was so tense and afraid and anxious about it. It was clearly one of the few things he really feared after returning. So maybe I didn't want this to taint the relationship they have right now.

Don't get me wrong, I really love first game! Kishiar...

now I kinda changed my mind after the gloves dream. I think it's time Yuder accepted the past and moved on like he's doing. I think past game! Kishiar deserves the grace of his actions being recognized for what they were: the attempt of a dying and desperate(ly in love) man to protect his loved ones. I think he deserves to finally be understood, *seen* beyond the masks and gloves he presented Yuder.

Yuder was the biggest factor in the differences between the 2 Kishiars, so if he saves past game! Kishiar, and they somehow become one (by current game! Kishiar gaining access to his memories, for example) i wouldn't mind it. Because their essence is the same, and though their love for Yuder is different, it's still absolute and unconditional. And Yuder deserves all the love he can get.

----

* I'm not likening Kishiar and Yuder losing their minds to being drunk, and that's why it's difficult for me to call it r*pe. It's not their inhibitions that disappeared. It's like their instincts took over. It goes beyond making a (conscious out unconscious) decision. It's despite them. But still not calling it consensual and not romanticizing it.

I always find it strange that people seems to differentiate between the 1TL and 2TL Kishiar when essentially they are the one and same person put into different circumstances and according to that made different choices. Like when asked most would say they are different.

And i thought how can that be??? There are many hints throughout the story in the current timeline that give insight to how the 1TL Kishiar may have behaved under certain situations given his then mindset and mentality. The dude was spiraling and we get glimpses in current TL how impulsive and irrational he can be while simultaneously being the most rational and level-headed person. There is an understanding on our part to all his past actions however incomprehensible they may seem on the surface.

Then it hit me somewhere between last 500 chapters that the reason most people feel this way might be bc that is what Yuder feels, since the story is in his pov. Like he keep saying he always thought they were same yet different. He can't or don't want to reconciliate between the past and present based on his wildly different experience within the two timelines. It understandable bc he doesn't have enough evidence or memories of past Kishiar and one's negative feelings towards something or someone are hard to change.

This was same until we reach chapter 927 and from then on he has to admit that they are the same. I won't elaborate bc spoilers!!

Basically, what I'm trying to say here, Past and the current Kishiar are not different. bc their essence or core, even the behavior and personality given the mental space, are the same.

If that were the case we are reading very different story then what is mentioned. Maybe even different trope.

[evethemenace]

Kishyu Zombie Apacolips AU for holidays