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Christmas 2020 Inventions

Socially Distanced Christmas Cracker

2020 Travel Adventures Scratch off card. There is only a house blueprint underneath the scratch off.

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Incoming

None of my friends have ever successfully sent a badly addressed letter to me. There was that time Murtaugh sent a giant cardboard cutout of me to people at the other end of the street. This week Caerynyvon succeeded where all the rest of my friends were too drunk to

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I have been making pictures of easy versions of games, putting them on a postcard and sending them to my friends. If you want one message me

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Slot Machine Address

Photos of the slot machine address machine

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One Armed Bandit Address Pull the lever to gradually learn the address. This might be the most pointless object in Christendom

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I’ve called a brief cease fire with an post because they are great to do this.  On a minor side not this blog is in a Singapore newspaper. Which I can’t read because it is paywalled and the modern world is weird.

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Jefferson Cypher

The third president Thomas Jefferson invented a system to make secret codes in 1795. It uses spinning wheels to make a message unreadable. I made a wheel where the 6 disks spin to encrypt my address

This is it some sort of singularity of futility. A black hole of pointlessness. I don’t think I can imagine anything less necessary. Thanks to everyone who read, liked and shared the blog. You really shouldn’t have been encouraging me. And thank you to An Post. Goodnight and good luck. PS send your friends postcards 

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Chinese Lighthouse

Make people think you are a time traveller by trying to send post in China. Ask to buy stamps and they first ask if you have heard of WeChat. Then in a panic start opening draws and calling in reinforcements to try to find these legendary objects. There is an island in the South China sea Fiery Coral Reef. Well there is now as China covered a coral reef in concrete and turned it into an airbase. I sent them a letter. I will let you know if they reply.

A Chinese article about this blog.  I am told the section name translates to ‘foreigners are crazy’.

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Mocking the Colorblind

My brother in law is colorblind. I taunt him about his disability on a regular basis

One Christmas I bought him this tshirt which he wore until someone told him what it said

Last week I sent him this letter to taunt him via the medium of post.

I’m not the first to think of this. The brilliant Envelopes by Harriet Russell has a color blind address in it.

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Fly My Pretty, Fly!

I decided to recreate Pigeon Post by attaching a message to Percy’s leg

After he flew off an Post wrapped Percy up in what seems a suffocation risk.

Percy arrived in his new home the next day.

Air Mail With Pigeon Express news story from 1978

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Billionaire Endorsement*

https://twitter.com/collision/status/968585632845983744 *not an endorsement

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Anagram Address

Not Delivered Yet

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An Post Valentines

An Post sent me Valentines chocolates. How dare they try buy me off with confectionery like this. Also the Mrs is now suspicious about the nature of my relationship with the postman.

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Lost penguin Scratch card address Not delivered

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Some hatemail I’ve recently spent.

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Valentines Chocolate

The Mrs, the romantic devil, wrote on some chocolate and posted it.  Honestly she did, I am not posting valentines to myself. Delivered the next day.