mi-rae07

[mi-rae07]

Your last chapter left me hooked! How do you come up with such unexpected twists in your stories? 😭

THIS WAS SENT AFTER THE SECOND LAST CHAPTER TO HIS SUNSHINE AND I AM SO SO SORRY I JUST OPENED MY INBOX AND SAW THIS TODAY!!

THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH FOR THE SUPPORT I LOVE YOU SMSMSM MWUAHS🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

I really appreciate it though and I am so damn sorry I just saw this. But I hope you enjoyed the final chapter as well and thank you so much for reading my story and supporting it.

xoxo,

Rae.

[mi-rae07]

Park Seonghwa : His Sunshine (Part 7/7)

Pairing : Park Seonghwa (Ateez) and named character (Lee Byeol)

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A/n : now that was a long, long time to finish a series but well, life is indeed a roller coster and I'm glad I was able to give these two their happy ending. Everyone deserves their happy endings, and I had to hold on to give all of you yours for this story. Kisses <3

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Seonghwa was now pacing around his room, byeol sitting on the edge of his bed with red eyes. Seonghwa shook his head as he said

Seonghwa : don't…don't do this byeol, please. Please don't take this away from me.

Byeol felt her heart break at his words but she couldn't help it, she had to.

Byeol : you shouldn't have loved me, you weren't supposed to.

Seonghwa : you think I had a choice? Do you have any idea how it felt like seeing you look at me as if you felt nothing? Like…like I was a ghost in my own home? You kept me in the dark!

Byeol : I told you about the curse-

Seonghwa : but not about your parents! Not about your grandfather! You were carrying all this burden alone, all this pain alone and I never even knew. Do you know how that makes me feel?

Byeol let out an exasperated breath as she whispered

Byeol : you were safer that way.

Seonghwa : no, I was lonely that way. It hurt, it hurt every night but…the thought of you, of being with you for another day more, it kept me fighting. I love you, I love you byeol and as long as I do I will fight. Is that not enough? Is that-

Byeol : the curse will kill you.

Byeol stood up, the tips of her fingers already glowing green. Seonghwa shook his head, his eyes tearing up

Seonghwa : please no-

Byeol : you're already in pain because of it. You're dying because of me.

Seonghwa : then let me die knowing I loved you. Let me die with your name still in my head. Don't take that from me, please.

Byeol shook her head, her fingers faltering as she saw the tears dripping down seonghwa's eyes. This was harder than she imagined.

Byeol : you think I want to? You think this doesn't kill me too? Do you not understand, seonghwa? I…

Byeol trailed off, reconsidering her words. She was being emotional, saying things she shouldn't. but she felt like she owed seonghwa the truth, at least before she took this away from him. He deserved it.

Byeol : why do you think I wanted to give you a child, why do you think I-

Seonghwa : that was guilt-

Byeol : I wanted someone else to love you the way that I wanted but couldn't.

Seonghwa just stared at byeol as she sniffled and shook her head. Seonghwa felt his heart crash, hating that he hadn't realised it before. How could he be so stupid? So careless with the woman he loved? Seonghwa stepped closer, wanting to hold her and never let go.

Byeol : I can't live knowing another person I love is going to die because of me.

Seonghwa : let me make that choice. Please, please byeol stay. Stay with me.

Seonghwa held her hands desperately, his lips trembling as he whispered shakily

Seonghwa : we'll find a way out, we will. Together. Just…please.

Tears streamed down byeol's cheeks, her resolve weakening as she felt the green glow from her fingertips fade. Why couldn't this be easier?

Byeol : I don't know how to save you…

Seonghwa : then let me save you first. Let me love you, even if it hurts. Especially if it hurts.

Byeol sobbed as seonghwa hugged her, her body trembling against his as he cradled the back of her head against his chest. He wasn't going to let go, he was going to find a way out for them. Or he would die trying. But she deserved to be fought for, deserved to be loved. He was going to give her that no matter the cost.

Seonghwa : shh it's okay going to be okay. We're going to find a way out. For once in your life, let go and let someone save you.

And byeol did just that, falling into seonghwa's arms as she shut her eyes.

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Byeol slowly woke up in seonghwa's arms hours later after having cried herself to sleep, him sitting against the headboard and her on his lap, curled up against his chest and his head rested on top of hers. Byeol slowly looked up at seonghwa, him smiling sadly as he kissed her forehead and stroked her hair gently. She could get used to this.

Seonghwa : you fell asleep for a bit.

Byeol hummed, leaning her head against his chest once more. She liked hearing his heart.

Byeol : didn't want to, dreams are cruel.

Seonghwa : some lead to answers.

Byeol let out a shaky breath and shook her head as she mumbled

Byeol : there is no answer, seonghwa. The curse is bound to me, it's blood deep. If someone loves me they…they die. My family proved that, and you proved it again tonight.

Seonghwa nodded slowly as he sat a bit straighter and tightened his arms around her. He had thought the whole while she slept, putting pieces together. He had a picture together now.

Seonghwa : then what if we stop treating it like a curse, and more like a spell instead?

Byeol frowned, looking up at him again

Byeol : what?

Seonghwa : spells have rules, curses just feel eternal because no one bothers to question the design. But magic doesn't make mistakes, people do. What if…you're wrong about this?

Byeol scoffed as she looked away

Byeol : I've spent years trying to bend the curse around.

Seonghwa : did you try letting someone love you?

Byeol : I can't, seonghwa! I can't…I can't lose them too. It's already too much-

Seonghwa : what if this is what holds the spell? This…this hatred you have towards yourself. You're scared of the curse so you push everyone away, you build walls. What if for once you don't, what if that breaks the curse?

Byeol : what are you saying.

Seonghwa sighed and placed his hand against her cheek as she looked up at him

Seonghwa : I'm saying that maybe love isn't the thing that activates the curse, maybe it's the thing that frees you from it. What if the curse was meant to test the strength of love, not punish it. What if this curse was meant to protect you, byeol?

Byeol frowned, pulling away from seonghwa. This was ridiculous. This bloody curse, meant to protect her when it had made her life a living hellhole?

Byeol : protect me by killing the people I love?

Seonghwa : protect you by killing people that love you with conditions, with evil intent in their hearts.

Byeol : seonghwa, this curse killed my parents.

Seonghwa : I read about them, in the library a few months ago. Your parents were sorcerers, they…they were powerful but that kind of power comes from dark magic. They must have had to sacrifice something, someone. And your powers, no normal person is born with these sort of powers. They must've done something to give them to you, and that somehow accidentally forming a spell that protected you from the same people that created you. They might have loved you, yes. But they could have wanted something from you too, something evil. And the curse protected you from it by killing them. You never knew them, byeol. Your nana did.

Byeol : then my grandad?

Seonghwa : that could have been what it was, an accident.

Byeol shook her head

Byeol : that's too convenient, is it not?

Seonghwa : then why is your nana still alive and unaffected?

Byeol : because she doesn't love me-

Seonghwa : because you didn't push her away. You didn't reject her love because you didn't even know it existed. You've been blinded by the hate you feel towards yourself that you fail to see everyone else around you that loves you, byeol. Your nana loves you, if you even truly looked at her as she was speaking to you you'd understand. I had gone into her room a while ago to ask for something and I saw her sitting there, looking at old photos of you as a child from an album. You think someone who hates you would do that? She pushed you away because she was scared, scared you'd reject her if you knew she truly loved you. She did it to protect you.

Byeol felt tears stream down her eyes, her hands shaking. She had been so blind, blind to everything and everyone around her. Byeol sniffled as she whispered shakily

Byeol : and you?

Seonghwa sighed softly as he pushed her hair back with gentle hands

Seonghwa : I thought about it, and I think it's because you're rejecting me, rejecting my love. This curse protects you, so as long as someone that you don't want near you loves you, it's going to hurt them. The spell works for you, and you don't let me in. So it probably recognizes that, and hurts me. But it hasn't killed me yet-

Byeol : because deep inside I still love you, and the curse knows it.

Seonghwa nodded slowly. Byeol let out a shaky breath, her head spinning. This had changed everything. Seonghwa pulled her closer to him by her waist as he whispered

Seonghwa : you didn't erase me, byeol, and I didn't die. That means something, magic always means something. You just have to open yourself to it.

Seonghwa took her hand and placed it against her heart, his hand on top of hers as he whispered

Seonghwa : you have to open yourself, to me, to your nana, to the world. Let yourself feel, let yourself love and be loved. That is the answer to this curse.

Byeol cried softly, her grip on his hand tightening as she whispered shakily

Byeol : seonghwa…

Seonghwa : I promised to protect you a year ago, I promised to love and be with you, till death do us part. That stands, always. There is no me without you anymore, byeol. You lose yourself, you lose me. Your hurt yourself, you hurt me. Curse or not that stays true.

Byeol sobbed silently, willing herself to not break down again as she looked up at him. Seonghwa waited, looking down at byeol. And then he felt her press her lips against his, his mouth tasting of her salty tears. Seonghwa let out a breath of relief as he held her close, kissing her back.

And that, was the end of their curse and the beginning of their life.

________________________________

7 years later :

Byeol smiled as she watched seonghwa run around the garden with their 5 year old son, her one hand on her pregnant belly and her other holding the book she'd been reading while sitting against the picnic mat. She watched with a smile as seonghwa picked their son up, throwing him over his shoulder as seojun squealed and giggled, kicking his legs as seonghwa smiled and walked towards byeol.

He plopped down next to her on the mat, seojun settling on his father's lap as byeol sighed and used the cuff of her sleeve to wipe the sweat off of her son's forehead

Byeol : look at you seojun-ah, all sweaty and dirty.

Seonghwa frowned as he nudged byeol's arm

Seonghwa : so what about me! I'm sweating too why aren't you wiping that off?

Byeol laughed as she kissed seonghwa's cheek, seojun rolling his eyes as he grumbled

Seojun : you're so lame, appa

Byeol : right? Exactly my point.

Seonghwa gasped, holding his hand against his heart

Seonghwa : is my wife and my son ganging up against poor old me?

Seonghwa leaned down and kissed byeol's belly as he whispered to it

Seonghwa : you hear that princess? Your eomma and your brother teaming up against me. I can't wait till you're here with me so we can team up against them. I know you're gonna be on my side

Seonghwa patted byeol's belly as she laughed, seojun snorting as he mumbled

Seojun : as if. She's so gonna be on her brother’s side.

Seonghwa : yeah we'll see about that you little minx.

Byeol smiled as she leaned against seonghwa's shoulder, the wind blowing against them as seojun sighed deeply and nuzzled against his parents, tired from playing. Seonghwa smiled softly at byeol as he pecked her lips before whispering

Seonghwa : you are the light of my life, sunshine.

Byeol smiled as her hand that was on her belly stroked his cheek before whispering

Byeol : and you are the light of ours.

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[mi-rae07]

Kang Yeosang : Lover, Hunter, Friend And Enemy (Part 1/5)

Pairing : Kang Yeosang (ATEEZ) and named character (Song Miyeon)

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Synopsis : literally just a continuation of the next generation from my earlier story "Burning Desire". This will be the story of Kang Yeosang and Miyeon, both of whom meet for the first time in the epilogue on "Burning Desire" so I suggest you read that first.

You can find the epilogue here and the Burning Desire series (if you'd like to read it), here. (this is the link to my Masterlist so just scroll to the Song Mingi section and you'll find the season 1 and 2 of the story)

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Miyeon walked through the palace corridors while being lost in her own thoughts, her mind going back to kang yeosang. Kang han, she knew who that was. She knew her parents hated him with all their might, and that they had killed him decades ago. Just as they had killed her father.

Miyeon didn't mind that, she knew the kind of man her father was, she was old enough to understand it. But yeosang, no one in this world knew that kang han had a child, let alone a son. How was this possible?

Aeri : miyeon-ah!

Miyeon paused on her tracks as she saw her mother walk towards her, miyeon giving aeri a small bow as she said with a smile

Miyeon : good afternoon, mother. The-

Aeri : where were you?

Miyeon : at the ballroom of course, learning ballet?

Miyeon hoped minho hadn't given in, her secrets were precious to her.

Aeri : but you are not sweating.

Miyeon : oh, yes. I don't really sweat that much when it comes to ballet, didn't you know that mother?

Miyeon was excellent at lying, it was one of her best traits. She supposed she got it from her biological father. Aeri frowned as miyeon wrapped her arm around her mothers', dragging her to the dining table for lunch as she said excitedly

Miyeon : I wonder what's for lunch today!

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Mingi : do you have someone you love?

Miyeon choked on her rice as she looked up at her father who was seated a few feet away from her, his face calm and composed as always. Minho was giggling, trying to quieten the sounds by stuffing his face with salad.

Miyeon : why…do you ask that-

Mingi : well you are 26 years old, 27 within a few months. You're of marriageable age so if you have someone you love, then tell me and I'll see if we can do anything about it. If you do not have anyone, then I will find a suitable partner with whom we can have an alliance with. It will be very beneficial for our nations.

Of course, an arranged marriage with another nation's future king was a must for every royal princess, even miyeon couldn't escape that.

Miyeon : you're talking about the Japanese prince…what was his name again?

Minho : yuta kishimoto.

Miyeon : yes, yuta. Appa I told you I have no interest in him.

Aeri : he is a good man, yeon-ah.

Only miyeon knew how he actually was, she was the only one who had talked to him alone when he visited 3 years ago. She wished to never see him again.

Minho : maybe even too good for her. I hear he's good at everything he does, he's world famous.

Miyeon rolled her eyes at that, she could see how much fun minho was having bullying her like this. Except once he got to know how yuta had spoken to miyeon that day, he'd probably start a war against that state.

Mingi : exactly, he has everything that you could ever want, miyeon. He would be perfect for you, he'll treat you like a queen.

Miyeon : I want to marry someone I love.

Minho snorted. Aeri threw minho a glare as she said to miyeon

Aeri : maybe you'll love him after the marriage, you never know.

Mingi smiled as he looked at aeri, coiling his hand around hers as aeri gave him a sweet smile as well. Minho looked away in disgust, miyeon letting out a sigh before saying

Miyeon : not everyone is going to be like you and appa, you do know that right?

Mingi : then ask the man you love to come to court, yeon-ah.

Miyeon : um.

Minho : only if there is a man like that can he come to court, yes?

Miyeon : minho, shut up.

Minho shrugged as he continued eating his rice. Miyeon inhaled deeply, realizing she had no other choice. It was time to face her duties.

Miyeon : 2 months, within two months if I cannot bring a man that I love and wish to marry in front of you, then you can marry me off to yuta. I will not fight against it.

She was betting her entire life against this chance. Aeri smiled and nodded in approval as mingi said

Mingi : you promise?

Miyeon : I promise, appa.

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A day later :

Minho : where are you going now?

Miyeon let out a breath as she finally put her boots on, turning to face her brother as she said

Miyeon : Upsala.

Minho : you're going on a pilgrimage? I didn't know the prospect of marrying Kishimoto was so bad, you're willing to turn yourself into a monk-

Miyeon : of course not, I'm going to find someone.

Minho : oh, lord. You're going to marry a saint, or worse, a monk! Am I going to have a bald brother-in-law now?

Miyeon : minho-

Minho : noona, I don't really think saints are interested in marrying anyone, let alone yo-

Miyeon : he won't be a saint, minho, or a monk. Anyway, I'll be back by night. Tell eomma and appa about it after I'm gone or they won't let me leave at all, please.

Minho : no I'm coming with you.

Miyeon frowned, she needed this to be done alone. Minho's presence would only get in between. As it was she was sure that man was hostile towards people. And, something in her told her that kang yeosang would absolutely despise people like minho, people who were all gold and glory.

Miyeon : no.

Minho : yes.

Miyeon : no?

Minho : I am the crown prince, I command it.

Miyeon : I am your older sister, your commands are nothing to me.

Minho let out a breath, walking closer to miyeon as he used his more softer tone now

Minho : noona, going alone is unsafe.

Miyeon : it is Upsala, as you said earlier there are only saints there-

Minho : the road to Upsala, is what I mean is dangerous. You need protection there, but you also need the secrecy for meeting this…person. So your best bet, is me. I will give you company until we reach Upsala and once we're there, you won't know I even came along.

Miyeon stared at minho for a while, realizing he was right. God, her brother had his way of convincing anyone and everyone.

Miyeon : fine. Just…get your coat off. You're shining like the sun, it's going to grab too much attention.

Minho : say less, dear sister.

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Minho : so, did you guys get into it already?

Miyeon groaned in disgust, trotting her horse along the path cut into the forest to Upsala as she said

Miyeon : love doesn't always have to mean physical intimacy, minho.

Minho : but it is the best part.

Miyeon : I'm waiting till marriage.

Minho : boring.

Miyeon let out a scoff as she looked forward before smiling softly

Miyeon : he is the most beautiful man I've ever seen.

Minho snorted as he pushed his hair back

Minho : well if you look to your right you would see a clearly better-

Miyeon : shut up, I'm being serious. He seems different, he has this…air around him that makes him special, I don't know how to explain it.

Minho : sex appeal-

Miyeon : oh my god minho shut up!

Minho laughed at her yell, finding this clearly very amusing. He was very different from his sister, where she believed in "the one" and the institution of marriage and children, he believed that marriage was just a political set-up and "the one" was a scam. For him, love was lust and for her, love was the unit of life itself.

Minho : so you're telling me you want to marry a man you don't even know, just because he's a pretty lot and has some air around him. Clearly-

Miyeon : minho, shut up.

Minho : no like really what do you-

Miyeon : minho! Shh! We have company.

Minho's smile faded at that, his face hardening as he looked around, his hand immediately going to the hilt of his sheathed sword. Miyeon grabbed her sword too, stopping her horse as she jumped down.

Minho : noona I think we should just leave-

Minho cut himself off as a group of 10 bandits stepped forward from the bushes surrounding them, half their faces covered in black cloth and their hands holding weapons. Minho glared at them as he jumped off his own horse, unsheathing his sword and holding it out as he stepped right in front of his sister

Minho : we have nothing for you.

??? : your bodies will be enough, especially hers.

The bandit nodded towards miyeon with a disgusting smirk that reached his eyes, and that was minho's last straw. Before miyeon could even say anything more minho had begun attacking the bandit, the others charging towards them too. Miyeon let out a breath as she unsheathed her own sword, fighting alongside her brother.

She wasn't as good as him, she could keep the bandits at bay until minho was done with one and could move on to the next, but they were heavily outnumbered. Miyeon hated hearing the squelch of flesh against blade when minho stabbed his sword into the bandit or cut his neck, she hated violence. But it was either that or death for them.

The fight went on until there were only five bandits left, and miyeon was fighting off one of them when she realized that she had been separated from her brother. She could hear his sword clashing but she could no longer see him, and that was when she felt the sound of another bandit behind her.

She couldn't turn, or the bandit in front of her would kill her and if she didn't, then it would be death either way. And she had just braced herself for the pain when another loud squelch was heard behind her, followed by a thud. Miyeon didn't turn, continuing to fight the somewhat startled bandit in front of her until she stabbed the man's chest with her sword and kicked him off of her.

Miyeon quickly turned around, pausing as she saw the man in front of her, his cheek streaked with a line of blood

Miyeon : y-yeosang…

Yeosang : why do you always end up right in front of me, princess?

Miyeon just stared at him, at a loss of words. Yeosang sighed and walked past her, leaning down to grab onto the necklace one of the dead bandits on the ground was wearing. He scoffed and snatched it free from his neck, staring at the crescent moon shaped locket.

Yeosang : bastards.

Miyeon : thank you, for saving me.

Yeosang frowned as he turned to face her

Yeosang : you think I saved you?

Miyeon : well…yes the bandit was about to-

Yeosang : why would I save you, princess? You are no one to me.

Miyeon paused at that, her face falling. She supposed she shouldn't have thought he would be her knight in shining armor, it was a bit childish even for her.

Before miyeon could say anything more a knife was placed against yeosang's neck from behind, minho glaring covered in dirt and blood, panting.

Minho : step away from my sister, you hooligan.

Miyeon : no minho let him go, this…this is yeosang.

Minho's eyes softened at that, withdrawing his sword as he stepped back. Yeosang scoffed as he turned to face the crown prince and said to miyeon

Yeosang : you told the crown prince about me?

Miyeon pressed her lips together as she went to stand next to her brother so they were both now facing yeosang

Miyeon : I tell about everyone to minho.

Yeosang raised his eyebrow unconvinced as minho said

Minho : were you trying to kidnap my sister while I was fighting for my life out there, yeosang-shi?

Yeosang : and what use would I have with your sister?

Minho scoffed in disbelief as he said to miyeon

Minho : you want to marry a man who doesn't even like you, noona?

Yeosang faltered at that, his eyes immediately going over to miyeon as he said

Yeosang : excuse me?

Minho : yeah we sort of fixed your marriage without your approval, really-

Miyeon : minho! Shut up!

Minho shrugged nonchalantly as miyeon faced yeosang with an embarrassed smile

Miyeon : he has no idea what he's saying, must've gotten the men mixed up. Uhm…well we must be on our way then-

Minho : what? We came all this way to meet this man, and I just fought off 7 bandits with my soul and now we're leaving?

Yeosang scoffed and walked past them to where the other dead bandits were lying, inspecting them and pulling off their masks to see their faces. Minho frowned as he turned to face yeosang again, not even bothering to look at the bandits' faces

Minho : what exactly are you, again? Guardian of the forest? Savior of the damsels in distress?

Yeosang : I am not here because I wanted to save your sister, if she died that would be on her. I am here for selfish reasons.

Minho scoffed again at that as he looked at miyeon

Minho : this is the man you wanted to marry? Your life would have been a circus, noona.

Yeosang : I am not marrying anyone, especially not her.

Miyeon : I…I understand that there-there has been a misunderstanding. We shall really, be on our way-

Miyeon held minho's arm and tried to pull him towards their horses again before yeosang said in an amused tone

Yeosang : are you perhaps by any chance, in war with the Japanese?

Minho and miyeon both halted at that, their eyes widening. Minho rushed to where yeosang was standing as he stared down into the faces of the dead bandits and gasped

Minho : they're not bandits, they're soldiers. This…what?

Miyeon : but we gave them their independence in return for peace!

Yeosang : no you gave them the mere title of independence for the show of it, while still controlling their trade and supply. Should you be surprised they're retaliating, princess?

Minho let out a breath and turned to face miyeon

Minho : this was your idea, you sided eomma when appa told you that giving them their independence would only lead to more trouble!

Miyeon : well they were planning to marry me off to that Japanese prince anyway-

Yeosang : is there anyone you aren’t planning to marry, princess?

Miyeon opened her mouth to say something but was cut off by minho who seemed to be disturbed

Minho : who are you, yeosang-shi?

Minho looked over at yeosang with cold eyes

Minho : how did you manage to appear here right when we were attacked? How do I know you didn’t plan this entire thing?

Yeosang : are you accusing me of national treason, crown prince?

Minho stepped closer to yeosang, his head held high and his gaze firm and unyielding

Minho : and if I am?

Yeosang scoffed and rolled his eyes

Yeosang : I came for my necklace that they stole.

Yeosang held up the crescent shaped necklace as minho just frowned, unconvinced. Miyeon sighed and nodded softly

Miyeon : yes, he did. I saw it.

Minho : still, how did you know that these soldiers would be here?

Yeosang : I followed them, waited for the right time to attack.

Minho : and the right time for you, was when my sister was about to be killed, yeosang-shi?

Yeosang : no, it was when you were handling most of them and I realized that I didn't have to waste my energy on them instead.

Minho scoffed in disbelief

Minho : so you used me?

Yeosang : you're heartbroken?

Miyeon : minho-

Minho : I'm gonna need you to come to court.

Yeosang raised his eyebrows as miyeon gasped and quickly shook her head

Miyeon : no. minho, no.

Minho : what? It's just precaution, and as crown prince I have the right. I'm not going to hold him under custody or put him in the dungeons, he will have a nice little room and be treated…moderately well. I just need to make sure he's not a national threat, and for some reason I have a hunch about him. Not a good one.

Miyeon : what are you going to tell our parents!

Minho : the truth.

Yeosang : and if I refuse to come?

Minho looked at yeosang with sharp eyes, and the blood of the soldiers on his face, chest and sword made him seem every bit of the future king he was

Minho : would you like to duel that out then, yeosang-shi?

Yeosang stared at minho for a minute and then at miyeon before rolling his eyes and nodding towards her

Yeosang : I ride her horse.

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[mi-rae07]

Don't feel pressured but I'm still waiting for his sunshine my fav ff 😺

Park Seonghwa : His Sunshine (Part 6/7)

Pairing : Park Seonghwa (Ateez) and named character (Lee Byeol)

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Seonghwa stood up from bed the next day, feeling like hell. He wished he could take it all back, he really wished he could. He had no idea what had gotten into him the night before and why he'd said those cruel things to byeol when he loved her. Being in excruciating pain was not a good enough reason to hurt the woman you loved.

Seonghwa walked to the dining table, hoping to find byeol in her usual place with the same usual face, he was surprised to find that her place was empty. He looked over to the maids who just shook their heads. Seonghwa sighed and began eating alone.

Seonghwa left for work and did not come back for lunch. However when he did come back for dinner byeol was still not at the table. The maids informed him that their mistress had not come out of her locked room. Seonghwa ate alone again.

On the way back to his room seonghwa stared at byeol's door, contemplating whether to knock on it. But then he remembered his words the night before, he could not face her again. And so he had his sleeping potion and went to sleep.

Next morning too byeol is nowhere to be seen, seonghwa promised himself that if by dinner byeol was still not out then he'd talk to her. And to his dismay, she had not come out by dinner either.

Seonghwa let out a breath as he walked towards byeol's room before knocking on it

Seonghwa : miss lee? I…

Seonghwa trailed off, not knowing what to say.

Seonghwa : come have dinner, please.

Seonghwa waited for a minute but there was no response. Seonghwa knocked again, this time harder

Seonghwa : please! You haven't had anything for two days this isn't healthy, can you at least just open the door for me?

Seonghwa knew he was in no place to be demanding things but still, he waited. No response. He was getting worried.

Seonghwa : if you don't open the door I'll break it down-

Seonghwa cut himself off as the door abruptly opened, making him step back. He looked at byeol who seemed to have a blank face, her eyes now distant. Seonghwa felt his heart drop as he noticed the red rims on her eyes and the paleness of her cheeks. Fuck him.

Seonghwa : byeol…

Byeol just silently walked past him to the dining table, seonghwa followed her. She did not give her usual smiles to the maids as they bowed and placed her dinner before her, she just picked up her cutlery and began eating with her eyes on her plate. Seonghwa instead of sitting opposite her in his usual place now sat beside her as he said

Seonghwa : I didn't mean what I said that night, I was not in my right mind. Please, don't take it to heart.

Byeol remained silent. Seonghwa let out a breath as he said

Seonghwa : please, I was just in pain and I'd had a rough day it-

Byeol : will you sign the divorce papers?

Seonghwa almost choked on plain air, he'd honestly rather die.

Seonghwa : no.

Byeol : then I will forge the signature.

Seonghwa : no!

Seonghwa's voice was stern as he held her arm

Seonghwa : please, you cannot do this to me-

Byeol : I'm doing this for you. You said you don't want a child if the mother is going to be me, then find another mother to have your child. It's quite simple.

Seonghwa : no! I don't want a child if that means losing you byeol!

Byeol paused her eating, looking at seonghwa.

Seonghwa : I don't want a divorce, please don't do this.

Byeol : what if I want one?

Seonghwa stared at byeol, breathing shakily. His grip on her arm tightened as he whispered

Seonghwa : please…I'm sorry for what I said. You know I am-

Byeol : I know you are sorry, but that doesn't mean you didn't mean it.

Seonghwa felt his heart drop, he had no idea how to tell her that he didn't mean it without telling her the truth, that he loved her. And so he just watched with teary eyes as byeol got up and walked past him back to her room. He let his head fall into his hands as he broke down.

______________________________

Byeol wasn't watering the flowers anymore, they were wilting. And so seonghwa had begun doing it instead, and for someone who had always hated flowers his entire life it was ironic. He had been watering the plants one of those days after work, a week after that uncomfortable conversation with byeol over dinner when he felt footsteps behind him. He turned around to see byeol, who had seemingly avoided him the past week as much as she could.

Seonghwa : miss lee…

Byeol looked at the jug in seonghwa's hand before saying

Byeol : it is nonna's 90th birthday within a week, a party will be held here.

She sounded so formal now, seonghwa hated it.

Seonghwa : o-oh…

Byeol looked at seonghwa blankly before asking

Byeol : do you not wish to attend?

Seonghwa frowned as he kept the jug down, that was an absurd question.

Seonghwa : of course I want to, why wouldn't I? I will attend as your husband.

Byeol looked away at that word before muttering

Byeol : right.

Byeol turned to leave as seonghwa rushed to her and held her wrist. He wanted this to stop, he wanted to go back to whatever it was like before this. This, was torture.

Seonghwa : you're hurting me.

Byeol paused, looking at seonghwa with those same blank eyes, having that same façade she always, always did. Seonghwa sniffled and gripped her hand in his

Seonghwa : when will this punishment end?

Byeol : what punishment-

Seonghwa : you know what I'm talking about! This…this thing that you're doing, you're there but you aren't there anymore. I…we eat dinner and breakfast together but you don't even talk-

Byeol : I used to ask you the same three questions that I still do-

Seonghwa : BUT THIS IS OUT OF FORMALITY NOW! You're not present anymore! You don't look at me anymore! It's like I don't exist to you!

Seonghwa said exasperatedly as tears filled his eyes

Seonghwa : please, don't do this anymore. Let me back in.

Byeol : you were never in in the first place, mr park. Don't delude yourself like that.

Seonghwa felt tears fall down his eyes at her words. He wiped them and held both her hands tighter in his

Seonghwa : I want to be your husband again, please. Let me be one.

Byeol : were you ever one?

Seonghwa stared at byeol as she pulled her hand back from his

Byeol : a husband requires a wife, that's how it's supposed to be. And I can't be one to you, if you can't deal with that then just leave. No one's stopping you.

Byeol turned and left, once again leaving seonghwa shattered.

____________________________________

A week later :

Byeol looked up as a knock on her door was heard, sighing as she continued brushing her hair, the party lights glimmering from the window

Byeol : come in.

Seonghwa entered the room in his red suit, a shade similar to the evening gown byeol was wearing. Byeol stared at seonghwa as he walked towards her with a box in his hands

Byeol : if it's some jewelry, I already-

Seonghwa : shoes.

Byeol paused as seonghwa sighed, holding her shoulder and guiding her to sit down as he kneeled in front of her and opened the box. A pair of beautiful red heels with ruby adorned on its laces came into byeol's view as she mumbled

Byeol : this wasn't required.

Seonghwa stays silent as he takes her right feet in his hand, slipping the heels on and wrapping the laces around beautifully. Byeol tried to quieten her breathing every time his fingers brushed against her skin and when seonghwa was done with the other feet his hand still stayed on it, his thumb slowly stroking her ankle.

Byeol : why did you get these for me?

Seonghwa let out a breath before standing up, not looking at her and walking past to the door. The last thing he said before closing the door was this

Seonghwa : because I am your husband.

_____________________________________

Seonghwa hated the party, not because the party in itself was bad but because byeol was going around talking to all those male associates as if she wasn't married and her husband was right there. Seonghwa didn't know what she was trying to do, standing really close to those men whose eyes never seemed to leave her bosom and laughing at all their jokes as if they were stand-up comedians. But it was getting on his nerves, it was hurting him in more ways than one.

Then while byeol was talking to a man and he got particularly close, her making no moves to step back, seonghwa went up to byeol and grabbed her arm before dragging her away

Byeol : seonghwa! Let go of me! What…what the hell is wrong with you!

Seonghwa just grabbed her and pushed next to a tree before saying

Seonghwa : do you want them to fuck you that bad?

Byeol paused, her face hardening

Byeol : excuse me?

Seonghwa : those men were clearly trying to ravage you like a pack of vultures! Don't bullshit me and tell me you didn't notice, I know you did. And yet you stayed and laughed, fucking laughed as if-

Byeol : what does any of this matter to you?

Seonghwa : I am your husband of course this matters!

Byeol : in name. In reality you hate that you're married to me.

Seonghwa : I never said that.

Byeol : yes you did, you said that you wished you could have a child but can't because you'd hate for it to have a mother like me. Is there any more proof I need than that to understand that you regret marrying me?

Seonghwa's eyes softened, he opened his mouth to say something but byeol cut him off

Byeol : I understand that I am a curse, I've been understanding my whole life. I…it makes sense for you to say that it would have been better for you if I'd died than if I were alive because at least then you could imagine I still love you from wherever I am, or care about you.

Seonghwa felt his heart drop as he remembered what he'd said that night byeol had found him having a nightmare, he hadn't meant any of it. Byeol scoffed as she said

Byeol : you hate that you have a wife that isn't dead, but isn't alive either, you think I couldn't bring myself to love my own child because I seemed unfazed about that man having assaulted me.

Seonghwa : no, no byeol I-

Byeol : what else was I supposed to do? Start crying? Why would I shed my tears on a man that doesn't have it in him to even bring himself up to respect a lady? I owe him nothing, not even my tears.

Seonghwa just stared at byeol, feeling horrible for all the things he'd told her. Byeol stepped closer as she said

Byeol : I've done everything I can in this marriage. You said you felt alone, I offered to birth a fucking baby for you. Hell, you were the one who offered to marry me and I asked you to take your promise back, I told you what would happen and you still went along with it so now you're blaming me? And even now! Even now I'm giving you a choice to just divorce and leave and yet you still refuse!

Seonghwa : byeol I just-

Byeol : is it that you enjoy torturing me?

Seonghwa : no! No I would never-

Byeol : does my pain bring you happiness then, is that it?

Seonghwa shook his head, tears filling his eyes.

Byeol : then leave me, or stop ordering me around. Yes maybe I want them to fuck me considering you can't bring yourself up to, I will do whatever I want with whoever I want because I'm done caring about someone that doesn't even seem to want me alive. If it bothers you so much, then fucking leave.

Byeol said coldly before turning and walking back into the party. Seonghwa just stood there breathing shakily, wishing so hard he could tell her the truth. Wishing he could tell her that he was hurting not because she didn't seem to be showing any emotions but because he loved her so much and it hurt for her to be so indifferent about him.

________________________________

Seonghwa expected the party to get over by midnight, he was wrong. It was 2am and the party was still going on, which wasn't good for him. His headaches were getting worse and the more he saw byeol with other men, knowing he couldn't do anything about it, the worse it got. Seonghwa felt his vision get slightly blurry as he stumbled out of the crowd, his breathing shaky.

He needed that pain relief potion, but it was in his room and that was far from where he was right now. Seonghwa didn't know if he could get himself there but he had to try. As seonghwa stumbled past the crowd he saw byeol standing a bit away from him, another man's hand on her waist. Seonghwa looked away with a grimace, feeling the headache worsen as byeol's earlier words repeated in his head.

He had just gotten to the edge of the crowd when he felt a sudden hot wave of pain wash against him, causing him to let out a shaky groan as he fell to his knees with a thud. Seonghwa could feel the people around gasp and step back in shock and worry, some of them saying something but he couldn't hear anything anymore.

And then he felt someone rush to him, kneeling on the ground next to him and holding his arm as they shouted at everyone to step back.

Seonghwa : b-byeol…

Byeol supported seonghwa's upper body against hers as she looked down at him worriedly. And seonghwa felt his breathing pause, because for the first time, he saw a crack in byeol's façade that she had always kept up.

A woman who hadn't wavered even when she was assaulted, now, holding seonghwa in her arms was cracking.

Byeol : seonghwa! Can you hear me?

Seonghwa blinked up at her hazily, his mouth trying to form words but only breathless gasps coming out. Byeol worriedly cupped his face, tapping it

Byeol : seonghwa! What is going on, please!

Seonghwa just stared up at her, seeing it happen before his eyes. A crack, and another.

Seonghwa : b-byeol…

Byeol looked at one of the guards that had come running before yelling

Byeol : call for the doctor!

Byeol looked back at seonghwa as she laid the back of her hand against his forehead to check for temperature and then back against his cheek as she shook her head desperately

Byeol : please, you cannot do this to me.

Seonghwa : I…I'm fine-

Seonghwa tried to say but he immediately let out a wince as another wave of pain went through his head. Byeol's eyes turned even more worried at that, her breaths coming out in pants

Byeol : no! No you are not! Why…why does it have to be you! No no no…

Seonghwa's shaky hand held hers that was against his cheek as he tried to speak again, not knowing whether this would be the last time he would ever see her. He was scared, just as she was.

Seonghwa : I…I lo-

Byeol : please…please no I'm sorry. Whatever it is that I have done I'm sorry…please come back to me…

Seonghwa eyes filled with tears as he felt black dots appear in his vision, his body feeling limp. Byeol clutched him closer to her chest, burying his face against his shoulder as she whispered brokenly

Byeol : please…I need you.

That was the last thing seonghwa heard before passing out.

__________________________________

Seonghwa groaned softly as he woke up, his hand immediately going to his head as he opened his eyes with a frown and looked around. His bed, his room, some medicines on the table and…fuck.

Byeol was staring at him from a bit away with her red eyes, her arms crossed. But seonghwa could see the way her body was slightly trembling, her lips bitten to the point of bleeding. Shit…no. As if seeing her crack at the party wasn't already enough to hurt seonghwa a life time, she had cried?

Seonghwa quickly tried sitting up, groaning softly as he whispered hoarsely

Seonghwa : b-byeol-

Byeol : you lied to me.

Seonghwa felt his heart rate quicken as byeol stepped closer to him, her breathing slightly uneven

Byeol : you promised this would never happen, you told me I wouldn't have to go through this!

Seonghwa : byeol I'm sorry-

Byeol : no your sorry doesn't cut it, damn it seonghwa!

Byeol raised her voice, her breathing now heavier as she said in a lower voice

Byeol : I…how long? How long has my curse affected you?

Seonghwa shut his eyes and looked away, feeling his heart drop. He hated this, he wished he'd never woken up.

Seonghwa : please don't make me-

Byeol : TELL ME THE TRUTH PARK SEONGHWA!

Seonghwa : the night I proposed…

Byeol let out a shaky almost pained gasp, stepping back in horror as she choked out

Byeol : what?

Seonghwa had never seen byeol like this, and he wished he hadn't. He reached forward to hold her arm but she stepped further back as if his touch would hurt her, as if it would hurt him.

Byeol : how could you? How could you do this, knowing…knowing the truth-

Seonghwa : it wasn't my choice, okay? I didn't choose to love you, it came naturally to me. Byeol please, we can figure a way out-

Byeol : THERE IS NO FIGURING A WAY OUT! NOT WHEN THIS CURSE HAS KILLED MY ENTIRE FAMILY!

Seonghwa flinched at her yell as his eyes slightly widened

Seonghwa : wh-what?

Byeol : my mom, my dad my grandad, EVERYONE I EVER LOVED IS DEAD BECAUSE OF ME! I CANNOT LET THAT HAPPEN TO YOU!

Seonghwa felt fresh tears fill his eyes at that, everything suddenly making sense as he tried to hold her arm in his trembling grip

Seonghwa : it wasn't your fault-

Byeol : YES IT WAS!

Byeol yelled brokenly as a tear slipped down her eyes, her lips trembling, it broke seonghwa.

Byeol : yes it was! They're dead because they loved me! It is my fault and I wish it were me instead every single day-

Tears fell down seonghwa's eyes as he held her hand but she only yanked hers back harshly

Byeol : NO DON'T YOU DARE! You are cruel! So, so cruel. You…you're putting me through this again! As if everything that happened wasn't already enough you have come to make it worse!

A sob left byeol's lips as seonghwa's face contorted in pain, shaking his head as he sniffled

Seonghwa : please-

Byeol : I don't need another person's death on my shoulders, I can't. Not when my parents, and my grandpa-

Seonghwa let out a choked sob as he pulled her down to his bed and hugged her tight, his hand coming to place itself against the back of her head as he whispered hoarsely

Seonghwa : you didn't know, you were a child sweetheart, you didn't know.

Byeol shook her head vehemently as she inhaled shakily and said

Byeol : it doesn't matter, what matters is that they're dead. And what matters is that I can't let the same happen to you.

Seonghwa bit his trembling lip as byeol pulled back, her mask falling back into place despite her obvious attempts to keep it all in

Byeol : I must remove your memories, I must let you go.

___________________________________

[mi-rae07]

I love save me. Could you use the read more option?

sure sure <3

[mi-rae07]

Jung Wooyoung : Save Me

Pairing : Jung Woo-young (Ateez) and named character (Ruby Bennett)

________________________

Synopsis : Wooyoung is a bartender, known for his charming personality and pretty looks. Ruby is the CEO of a tech company, known for being nonchalant and cold. Except she is also a superhero, saving the lives of countless others while remaining to be anonymous. And then wooyoung does something wrong, and ruby's personal life is at risk of mixing up with her superhero one. What is she going to do? Especially when she knows that wooyoung's life is now in danger too?

__________________________

Mary : ruby, you're 30. don't you think it's high time you…

Ruby : settled down? Yeah, no. I do not want to settle any time soon, so please, just let go of this topic.

Mary : the people talk.

Ruby : the people always talk.

Mary : you're not listening, daughter. The people think the reason you're not marrying is because you have what they thought your father once had, reproductive issues.

Ruby : and why would that matter to me?

Mary : it matters everything. Because if you do not have a child, this company of yours will have no heir. It will be at risk of being taken by anyone, and you know what that sort of a power can do to someone.

Ruby sighed, leaning back against her chair. Her mother made sense, as she mostly always did. But it was sense that ruby hated, she hated having to marry someone just for the sake of it. Plus, she had her own problems that no one knew about, not even her mother.

Ruby : fine, tonight 8pm.

Mary smiled, feeling content at having managed to convince her daughter finally.

Mary : you're going to be glad you made this choice, daughter.

Ruby : one can hope.

____________________________

Ruby clicked a button as the bookshelf in her office room turned around, revealing a doorway that led to a secret room ruby had built herself a decade ago. Ruby walked down the staircase as the door shut behind her, lighting up the room automatically. And soon enough ruby was walking past her suit prototypes that she had denied herself, needing something better. But they were memories, the suits, memories of the battles she had fought for the city without anyone knowing who the masked woman actually was.

And that gave ruby power, because she lived two lives. Both equally powerful and respectable, both equally rewarding and damaging. It took work, but it was fulfilling work. Plus the insect had chosen to bite her out of everyone else, she didn't have much of a choice here.

Ruby sat in front of the large computer as she went through the data files of future threats that the city could face, her red colored eyes running along the list intently.

The red eyes were a giveaway of the power inside her body, and ruby was not born with it. She was, in fact, born with boring black eyes. But one day, the day ruby turned 20, she had been bitten by an alien insect that had caused her to change. She had turned from CEO of America's best tech company to a superhero that ruby didn't know could exist. It took her time to adapt, 3 years as a matter of fact but it was worth it. Because she now knew what her body was capable of and she knew how to use her powers.

But the powers had effects on her physically. Like how her iris suddenly turned from black to red almost overnight. Ruby had told everyone she just started wearing contact lenses, and now she was known for it. And then there are also more problems, bigger ones. Like how her upper left thigh has a red ring around it now that glows once she harnesses her powers. That was what kept her away from men, because how was she going to explain this ring around her skin? Tattoos didn't glow.

Ruby sighed as she realized that she was probably going to have to fight tonight, considering that this guy who was planning to rob a bank was being so open about it in his laptop word document, and ruby had been able to hack into it.

Well, ruby supposed she was going to have to be Cinderella for her date tonight.

__________________________________

Wooyoung : the lady wishes to what?

San : wooyoung-ah, you keep doing this to them, they're going to keep wanting you.

Wooyoung : to the point they're willing to…pay me on a daily basis to be their boyfriend?

San : you have them under your spell, young-ah.

Wooyoung : san-ah, doesn't she have a husband?

San : she does.

Wooyoung : so, what, she wants me to play Moth to a flame by Weeknd or something?

San chuckled as he said

San : imagine.

Wooyoung let out a breath, leaning back against the bar kitchen counter as he eyed the place. He had been working in this high-end bar for 4 whole years now, and he'd had his share of rich women going crazy for him with the way he's able to seduce them into doing almost anything. But this? A million dollars just for a month of doing nothing but be someone's boyfriend.

Wooyoung's mother would be horrified.

Wooyoung : just…tell the ma'am I'll think about the offer.

San : wait, actually?

Wooyoung : of course not! But I need her to get off of my back for tonight because we have some big person attending today for the first time.

San : who, Ruby Bennett?

Wooyoung : yes, yeah something like that.

San sighed and nodded before saying

San : you should be glad you have a bestfriend like me, wooyoung-ah. What ever would you have done without me?

San had been wooyoung's only friend for a long while before wooyoung joined this bar and became famous for it. San's parents too had migrated from Korea illegally long back ago, and that bonded both wooyoung and san. Wooyoung chuckled, ruffling san's hair as he whispered

Wooyoung : forever grateful for you, my love.

____________________________

Ruby walked inside the bar with an annoyed face, her bodyguards walking right behind her and all the security of the bar focused only on her. Ruby looked around the expensive looking bar, trying to find the man with blonde hair that her mother had set her up with. And soon ruby had found him, walking towards the table he was sitting on before saying

Ruby : John Thomas, I presume?

John quickly stood up at that, his eyes sparkling at the sight of ruby as he said

John : miss bennett!

Ruby nodded, pulling out a chair as she sat on it before john could do that for her. John soon sat down as well, a wide smile on his face as he said

John : so! We finally meet.

Ruby : hmm.

John : did you have a great day?

Ruby : I did, until you invited me to this bar.

John was about to say something when the waiter came up to them, him looking right at ruby before saying

??? : the ma'am is finally here, then. Poor sir's been waiting for an hour.

Ruby looked up at the waiter, her eyes running along the man. He was pretty, too pretty to her own liking. And that smile on his face, ruby didn't know whether she hated it or loved it.

Ruby : are you the waiter?

??? : why yes I am.

Ruby : then take the damn order and leave.

The waiter raised his eyebrows at ruby, looking somewhat offended. But before he could say anything more john quickly interrupted them, giving both his and ruby's order to the man. Ruby's eyes ran along his arms, his shirt sleeves pulled up till his elbow to have his veins on full display. He's popular here, ruby knew it with the way the ladies in the bar were literally oggling him. And he was different, ruby thought, probably Asian.

??? : do you need something, ma'am?

John : I gave you her order.

??? : you did, she didn't.

John : you-

Ruby : I'll have a salad as well.

The waiter nodded with a smile before giving both of them a small bow, that seemed almost sarcastic in a way. He gets worse, ruby thought.

??? : 15 minutes, sir and ma'am.

Ruby watched as the waiter turned around and left, john sighing as he asked ruby something. But ruby's eyes remained trained on the waiter as he turned around halfway through, giving ruby a small smirk before disappearing behind the doors.

God fucking damn it.

_________________________________

Ruby had been half way through her dinner when she felt the band around her thigh suddenly vibrate, the feeling rushing through ruby's body. That only meant one thing, danger. Someone was here.

Ruby looked up at john who was eating his dinner quietly now, his eyes looking towards the dance floor. She had to leave, or she was going to put this innocent man in danger as well.

Ruby : excuse me while I use the restroom.

John : oh, sure-

Ruby got up as she looked around, her eyes landing on a group of 3 men that were rushing up to her from a bit far away. Ruby quickly turned around, walking towards the kitchen knowing there'd be a back entrance there. Soon ruby had opened the door to the kitchen, finding it empty. And that was when she realized, this wasn't the damned kitchen.

But she was sure she saw the waiter from earlier walking towards here?

Ruby quickly turned around at the sounds of quick footsteps, the sight of the 3 men from earlier entering the empty room falling upon her. Ruby let out a breath, there was no way out of this now. She just had to be as quiet as possible about this.

But before ruby could do anything a figure rushed past her, knocking one of the men down before kicking the other right in his face.

Ruby : what the fuck.

The waiter from before blocked the punch from the other man before kicking him off his feet, punching the last man right in the face as he fell down as well, groaning. The waiter turned around to face ruby, a smirk on his face as he said

??? : you're welcome.

Ruby looked forward as she heard the footsteps of more men heading towards their direction, this man had just fucked it all up for her.

Ruby : you fucking idiot.

??? : excuse me, what-

Ruby cut the waiter off as she held his arm, dragging him outside the room as she rushed towards the actual kitchen where chefs were moving inside and outside continuously.

??? : miss bennett, you have to let go of me-

Ruby : you've made this all worse, so you're going to shut up and follow me.

??? : I've made what worse-

The waiter cut himself off as he turned around, realizing what the problem was. Ruby rushed past the chefs and workers inside the kitchen as she stepped out through the backdoor, clicking on her car key as a distant roar was heard. The waiter frowned as ruby suddenly paused on her tracks.

??? : wait, that's it? Aren't we supposed to escape or something?

Ruby did not answer. Because before she could a car raced up to them, coming to a stop right in front of both ruby and the waiter as she got into the car and said

Ruby : we are.

The waiter looked around at the expensive sports car he would probably have died for as a teenage boy, finding it amusing how one didn't even have to drive it by oneself.

??? : holy fuck.

The waiter quickly jumped into the car, ruby pressing onto the accelerator as the car rushed past the group of men with a roaring sound.

??? : who the hell are they! No, actually, who the fuck are you!

Ruby : you already know who I am.

??? : no, why are you being chased by a bunch of men!

Ruby : what is your name again?

??? : uh, Jung Wooyoung.

Ruby : okay, listen, wooyoung. Remember when you kicked those men's asses back in that room a few minutes ago?

Wooyoung : I just thought you needed help-

Ruby : yeah, I didn't then. But I will now. Help from getting you killed.

Wooyoung : killed!

Ruby : yes, killed.

Before wooyoung could say anything more ruby took a sharp turn towards the left lane, that causing wooyoung to screech as he held onto his seat for dear life. Wooyoung turned around, realizing the men were now chasing after them in their own car.

Wooyoung : oh no no no, they're behind us!

Ruby : of course they are.

Wooyoung looked back at ruby and the way she was driving so skillfully while going at such insane speeds, her face calm and composed still. In normal situations he would have found this hot, but this was far from anything normal.

Wooyoung : miss bennett, have you done this before?

Ruby scoffed, pressing harder on the accelerator as she turned the car to the side in order to block the other car behind them.

Wooyoung : you're only a CEO, you aren't supposed to…to-

Ruby : have a car chase? Yeah, this is how it works out here.

Wooyoung let out a breath as ruby shifted the car to the other side again, in order to block the enemy car from swooping in. and as wooyoung turned to face ruby once again, her red eyes focused forward and her one hand wrapped around the steering wheel, covered in expensive rings, wooyoung figured why so many people swooned over Bennett tech's CEO.

Wooyoung : can't you uh…go sl-slower?

Ruby : we're being chased, jung wooyoung. Slower means being dead.

Wooyoung : but why are they so angry at you!

Ruby : classified.

Wooyoung : what-

Wooyoung let out a yelp as ruby took a sharp turn, the car stopping suddenly into the side of an abandoned lane, the sides covered with forests. Wooyoung felt his breathing pause as ruby turned off the car headlights, rendering the entire lane completely dark.

Wooyoung : what-what the hell are you doing?

Ruby : hiding in plain sight, wooyoung. Those men will be stupid enough to think I'd rather continue the car chase than pull something like this.

Wooyoung : well I'd rather you do that too, actually.

Ruby : what?

Wooyoung : what if uh, what if someone attacks us?

Ruby : someone already has, wooyoung. And now we're waiting for that someone to go by so that we can escape the chase-

Wooyoung : no, not that. Here, like right now.

Ruby : what, are you afraid of the dark?

Ruby had meant that as a joke, leaning back against her seat with a small smile. But as she realized wooyoung wasn't answering, her smile disappeared.

Ruby : wooyoung?

Wooyoung : miss bennett, take me back to the bar, please.

There was the hard part.

Ruby : I cannot do that, you're going to have to remain with me until I figure out who it is exactly that you pissed off today.

Wooyoung : no. no no-

Ruby : trust me, it's not going to be that bad. You're just going to have to remain hidden in my family house.

Wooyoung : and who lives in your family house-

Ruby : no one. And as a matter of fact, it is located right inside these forests.

And that was when wooyoung actually realized, he was fucked.

_______________________________

[mi-rae07]

Choi San : You Over The Nation

Pairing : Choi San (ATEEZ) and named character (Lee Alvara)

———————————————

Synopsis : San is new to the special team of the Korean Air-Force, a team that only the elites of the force could join, a team reserved for the best. He’s trained his whole life for this, to be able to serve his nation and put it first. But then he meets Lee Alvara, and she seems to make that all the more harder.

Lee Alvara is the best of the elite, heading the special team. She’s been closed off and cold her entire life, her priorities are straight and set. No one can change them, or can someone?

———————————————-

Yunho : I heard the new recruit is built like a Greek statue.

Mingi let out a breath as he laid his hands on his hips, staring into the road in front of him that had a few people walking through it as he said

Mingi : I heard he was taller than you.

Yunho frowned as he looked at mingi as if he had just stabbed him

Yunho : tell me you made that up, right now.

Mingi gave yunho a teasing smile as hongjoong rolled his eyes and said

Hongjoong : it doesn't matter whether he's tall or built, I heard he was excellent in his duty. Managed to bring down 6 enemy aircrafts on his second mission. He is supposedly one of the best aviators in our country, with a million medals already.

Yunho : he's not as good as our captain though, I'm sure.

Their captain who had brought down 15 enemy aircrafts on a mission, saving three of their own as well. It would be hard to live up to that.

Mingi : where is our captain again?

Hongjoong : patrolling, I'm sure.

Mingi : it is barely sunrise, doesn't she want to sleep?

Mingi had forced himself to get up at 5 because he had received orders from his captain to welcome the new recruit, he couldn't imagine willingly waking up so early for no particular use.

Hongjoong : well, when you go to sleep at 9, waking up at 4 is a very easy task.

Yunho : then why don't you do it, hongjoong-shi?

Hongjoong glared at yunho as he hit his arm, making yunho chuckle. Just as mingi was about to say something a car's sound was heard, indicating that the new recruit was probably here. Yunho's eyes almost widened as he saw the car, a Porsche Spyder 918. he had only seen that car once in his life, it was when he had visited the captain's house.

Mingi : what the actual fuck.

Hongjoong : I like him already.

The three men stood up straight and proud as the driver's seat opened, revealing a man that was wearing a black compression shirt and white tracksuit. And all the words were true, he really was built like a Greek god.

The man's eyes finally landed on them, his stone-cold face suddenly turning into a huge smile as his eyes just disappeared, small dimples appearing instead.

Hongjoong : aww.

Yunho nudged hongjoong's arm as he was brought back from his world, clearing his throat. The man walked towards them, bringing his hand forward as he said

San : I'm choi san, nice to meet you.

Mingi took his hand, part confused as he said

??? : I'm song mingi, and these are my best friends, also two of the leading aviators in the nation and part of our team.

San looked at yunho as he said

??? : jeong yunho.

Hongjoong quickly took san's hand, shaking it as he said with a wide smile

??? : kim hongjoong. You have a nice smile.

San chuckled, already finding hongjoong likeable as he said

San : so do you, hongjoong-shi.

All of them had expected san to be much different from all the build-up he had gotten. The car, the tales, the medals, they had expected san to be intimidating, stone-cold and sharp, something like their captain. And when they'd first seen san get out from the car they had confirmed it, but then san smiled. And it all broke down, god he was adorable. He could probably take down 5 enemy aircrafts with just that smile.

San : uh, I was told there would be a captain. The-

San paused as an airplane sound was heard above him, his eyes going to the jet that just flew over him in record speed. Yunho smiled as he said

Yunho : that would be her.

San : that's Lee Alvara?

Yunho : yes.

San looked forward as the aircraft slowly landed in front of him, the workers going to open the upper door as alvara stepped out of it. And as soon as she took her helmet off san was rendered speechless. Never had he seen a woman so beautiful. With the sunglasses and red lips with her brown hair tied up into a sleek bun, she looked every bit of the captain san had heard her to be.

Alvara jumped off the airplane as she removed her gloves, handing it over to the workers as she walked towards mingi, yunho, hongjoong and san. Mingi, yunho and hongjoong stood straight in the form of a salute as she nodded at them before looking at san. Alvara took her sunglasses off as san put his hand out for her to shake before saying with a smile

San : hello I'm-

Alvara : is this how you dress while being an airforce pilot, officer choi?

San slowly pulled his hand back as he said

San : I was told there would be no work today, captain.

Alvara : told by who?

San : it's the first day-

Alvara : you're not going to kindergarten, this is the airforce. There will always be work.

Alvara looked at mingi before saying

Alvara : show him to his quarters and assemble in the meeting room within half an hour. There is a problem.

Mingi : yes, captain.

Alvara gave san a last look before putting her sunglasses back on, walking past them without another word. San let out a breath as he asked

San : is she always like that?

Hongjoong : we've never even seen her smile, officer-

San : no, please. Just call me san, all of you.

Hongjoong : sure, san.

San smiled at hongjoong, them staring at each other for a few seconds as yunho rolled his eyes before saying

Yunho : okay! Now follow me to your quarters please

San : ah yes. One second, let me just grab my luggage real quick.

San walked over to his car before grabbing three big suitcases out of it, mingi's eyes widening as san shut the car door with his leg before carrying all three bags at once. He carried it as if it were nothing, but they could all see the straps being pulled down by the weight.

Hongjoong : guys? I think I'm gay.

Yunho : oh please, it's probably not even that heavy.

San stopped in front of them with a smile as he asked

San : shall we?

Yunho : let me carry one bag for you.

San was about to say no when yunho took a bag from him, his hands immediately falling as the bag hit the floor with a thud. Mingi snorted, hongjoong covering his mouth as san said awkwardly

San : it is a bit heavy, I like to have all my things wherever I go. It's fine, yunho-shi, I'll carry it.

Yunho just stared as san lifted the bag once again, walking forward as if it were nothing before turning around and asking cheerfully

San : SO ARE THE QUARTERS TO THE LEFT OR RIGHT!

Yunho let out a breath as he whispered under his breath

Yunho : I am going to cry.

______________________________

Doctor : captain lee, I think it would be better for the both of you if you could just sign those papers-

Alvara : and let my dad die?

Doctor : captain, your father has been in a coma for almost a decade now. You are just wasting your money-

Alvara : are you the one paying the bills?

Doctor : no.

Alvara : then please refrain from giving advice on the financial matters.

Doctor : this is just my advice as a doctor, captain.

Alvara : as a doctor, your job is to take care of the patients and give them their lives back. Not ask their families to withdraw from payment.

Doctor : there is only so much we can do, captain lee.

Alvara : if we said the same then this country would've been bombed to ruins a long while ago, doctor.

Before the doctor could say anything more alvara cut the call, keeping her phone away as she laid her forehead on her palm, closing her eyes in frustration.

??? : may I come in, captain?

Alvara looked up as san peeked his head into the meeting room, having changed into his work uniform. Alvara motioned him to come in as she asked

Alvara : where are the others?

San : they uh, had to use the restroom. They'll be here within five minutes.

Alvara sighed as she looked back at the papers on the table, san taking a seat as he asked

San : how long have you been in the airforce, captain?

Alvara : what benefit is my answer going to bring to you, officer?

San : not everything has to be asked and done for benefit, captain. Sometimes it is just to…build something.

Alvara looked up from the papers as she asked

Alvara : and what are you trying to build here?

San : friendship?

Alvara : I do not wish to be friends with you, officer.

Ouch. San smiled at the blatant answer as he said

San : we are going to be a team, captain. We are going to have to attend missions, and that can only be done perfectly with teamwork. Teamwork requires friendship of some sort, does it not? If I would have to save your life one day, or you mine, don't you think friendship is required?

Alvara : I do not think so. Saving each other while being on a mission is completely different, as you are saving your fellow pilot for the nation, for your country's benefit, not for his own. Whether we have a good friendship or not I will still save you, officer, for you are an asset to this nation. And I, as a citizen am bound to protect you. Friendship is not required for this, only duty is.

San stared at alvara, being at a loss of words. No one, not a single person he'd met, had thought something like this about being in the army.

San : are your parents divorced?

Alvara looked taken aback at the random personal question.

Alvara : pardon?

San : you sound like you had a very sad childhood, captain, no offence.

Alvara scoffed as the door opened, mingi, yunho and hongjoong getting in as they bowed before sitting beside san. Alvara stared at san as she stood up, turning the projector on as she said

Alvara : there has been reports of enemy fighter jets circling our borders, which could indicate that they are planning for a future attack.

All of them looked at the projector as they could see pictures of enemy fighter planes flying around the border, their lights dimmed so as to minimize detection.

Mingi : this hasn't happened in so long, why now?

Alvara : because it is going to be presidential elections in a few months, it would be the best time for them to attack. Because an attack means delaying the elections, and delaying the elections mean that our country will have no president, no head of the state. We will be vulnerable.

Hongjoong : but the current president can continue ruling our nation, right? An attack would cause a national emergency.

Alvara : if the president wasn't so unpopular with the people, yes. But the current president have been tried multiple times for embezzlement of funds, the people don't trust him anymore and wish to have him removed immediately. The elections would have done that for them, but if this attack happens and the president chooses to stay in power through national emergency, the people will not sit still.

Yunho : so we have a choice. It's either national war, or civil war.

Alvara : precisely. Which, is why we must stay at full alert in case of any attacks. Because once that missile strikes our ground, we will not be able to stop a war.

San : and which war would you prefer, captain?

Alvara looked at san, his eyes unreadable as she said

Alvara : I would prefer none, why else would you think we're having this briefing, officer?

San : not everything could be under our control, what if the missile does strike even after all this?

"Not everything is in our control". That was what the doctors had been telling alvara for the past decade regrading her father's matters, and she hated that sentence. Alvara's eyes turned cold as she said

Alvara : leave the room, officer.

San : what?

Alvara : I said leave the room, it is an order.

Yunho : but captain, don't you think he too should know the safety protocols our base would be taking for these attacks?

Alvara turned her eyes at yunho, and he could sense how angry she was just through the very stare. He shouldn't have said anything.

Alvara : would you like to get out as well, officer jeong?

Yunho : no, captain, I am sorry.

Alvara looked back at san as he sighed before standing up, stepping out the room as he shut the door behind him. Alvara let out a breath, turning back to face the three uncomfortable looking men before saying

Alvara : now, let's move on to the protocols we will be taking from tonight.

________________________________

Seri : how is it going for you there then, son?

San sighed as he leaned against the wall of the cafeteria, gripping his phone tight in his hand as he said

San : there's this lady.

Seri : oh, already? Who is the lucky woman?

San : god, eomma no. It's not that, I don't think I can bring myself up to even like this lady, let alone love her.

Seri : she's that bad?

San : she's the captain of this base, eomma.

Seri : wait, lee alvara?

San : yes.

San knew what to expect next.

Seri : san-ah, she's one of the best pilots of our nation. How can she be not nice?

San : she is a good pilot, an excellent one at that and I can agree to that. But eomma, I've never talked to someone who sounds so sad, so arrogant. She sounds like she's gone through everything in this world and has no heart anymore, and she just covers all that up by being rude.

Seri : son, not everyone can be the same. Not everyone can smile all the time, or have the best childhood possible. Sometimes they don't get anything, and that causes them to change. The captain could be a good person, you've only just met her, right? Give her some time, san.

San : I'll try, eomma.

Seri : is she pretty?

San : eomma!

Seri laughed as san noticed the door to the café opening, revealing alvara, mingi, yunho and hongjoong. The people sitting around sat up straight in the form of a salute as alvara sat on a table at the corner. Mingi motioned san to come as the three of them sat at another table, leaving alvara alone.

She probably liked to be alone even while eating.

San : eomma, I have to go now. I'll call you later?

Seri : sure. I love you my son.

San : love you too.

San cut the call as he walked towards where alvara was sitting alone, the workers placing food on her table as she picked up the fork and spoon. San could see hongjoong motioning him not to go there but he ignored them as he stopped in front of alvara across the table and said

San : I would like to apologize.

Alvara did not even look at san as she nodded, having the first bite of her breakfast.

San : is that…acceptance, captain?

Alvara : acceptance at your ignorance, officer? You are a soldier, the sole hope of the millions of people living in this country. They live here, trusting their safety and security to us and you'd just asked me which war I would prefer?

San lowered his eyes as he said

San : I'm sorry-

Alvara : no your sorry doesn't cut it, officer. When I read through your portfolio and your records, I expected you to be different, better. I expected you to be true to your duty towards this nation. But no, no. You are 30, acting like you're 13. I think you'd have done better at your old base, this base is too important for someone like you. Only the best can thrive here.

Oh no, she did not just say that. San suddenly felt the need to prove alvara wrong, so so very wrong. He could do anything, and he will, today.

San : I will be the best.

Alvara : and how are you going to show me that?

San : give me an hour, and a fighter jet. Do you perhaps have any jets that require tests to be done, regarding it's limits?

Alvara looked at san, already knowing what he was about to do.

Alvara : in fact, we do.

San nodded as he said

San : I would like to be the one testing that out then, captain, and I would like that to be done while you're watching it.

___________________________________

Mingi : captain, are you sure you want this?

Alvara stared at san who was now entering the jet after having equipped everything on himself, the workers around doing their last checks as the wind blew against them.

Alvara : why would I not be sure?

Mingi : he is a new recruit, captain. He must not be experienced with this area yet.

Alvara : the sky is the same everywhere on earth, officer. Have you forgotten?

Mingi sighed in resignation as yunho said

Yunho : and if he crashes the jet, captain?

Alvara : then he will pay for it, I'm sure selling a few of his cars would do the trick.

Yunho smiled as the workers confirmed that they were all done before leaving the runway. Alvara could sense how tensed everyone was, this hadn't been done before. She was usually the one who would do most of the jet tests, and this was a first.

But this was his choice, his redemption.

And soon enough san had started the jet, the controller through which san could talk through being handed over to alvara as she said

Alvara : officer, do you copy?

San : yes, captain. Do I have permission to take off?

Alvara looked up at the control center a few miles away from her, one of the workers showing a thumbs-up from the transparent panel as alvara said

Alvara : permission granted for take off.

San : okay. Taking off in 2 minutes.

Alvara watched as san took off from the ground smoothly, the jet flying right past them as a gush of wind passed through. Hongjoong let out a breath as he watched the jet disappear into the clouds before asking

Hongjoong : what is the limit he has to reach, captain?

Alvara : 75,000 feet above sea level.

Hongjoong : that…is a lot.

Alvara : it was not my choice, officer kim, it was his.

San : going past 10,000 feet.

Alvara : updates?

San : all good.

Alvara sighed as she looked at the sky, she could no longer see the jet anymore, only the trail it left behind. She hoped he wouldn't die, it would be too much work for her right now.

Meanwhile san was flying the jet with all his concentration, thinking of how proud the younger him would've felt to know that he was in the skies right now. It was his dream.

San : going past 50,000 feet.

San could feel the pressure slowly rising around him, indicating that he was getting closer and closer to his point.

San : going past 60,000 feet.

Alvara : stats?

San looked at the boards to confirm before saying

San : all good.

San had never done tests before, he was a fighter pilot after all and these were usually done by older pilots. But he had someone to prove wrong today, and that more important.

San gripped the controls harder as he felt the pressure rise even further before saying almost breathlessly

San : crossed 75,000 feet.

San could hear the small cheers from the controller as alvara's voice boomed through it

Alvara : good job, now bring the jet down, officer.

San clenched his jaw, feeling almost lightheaded now. The pressure was getting to him, and he breathed as heavily as possible through the oxygen mask. This was the limit, this was where it would be safer to go back to land. But that wasn't what san wanted, he wanted lee alvara to never have the chance to mock him again, and this was going to prove it.

San let out a tight breath as he pushed the control further, aiming for 85 now. That had been his goal from before, but now it was public.

Alvara : officer, I said bring the jet down.

San : crossing 85,000 feet.

Alvara : officer, this is an order.

San pushed the control one last time as it crossed 85,000 feet, the system immediately beeping as it indicated that it was getting overheated. He had just crossed the mesosphere.

San : crossed 85,000 feet, bringing the jet back on land.

San quickly changed controls as he directed the plane towards the ground, the world feeling blurry around him. He could hear alvara's words no longer, and the system still showed that it had been overheated. But no damage was done, at least to the system it was not. San felt like someone had thrown a brick at his head, but he had to bring the jet down. He had to prove lee alvara wrong.

And soon san saw the runway in front of him, bringing the jet down as he landed safely on it. The workers came rushing as san removed his oxygen mask, feeling like he could fall any second. But even then he stepped out of the jet, removing his helmet and gloves as he walked towards where alvara, mingi, hongjoong and yunho were standing.

Everyone except alvara looked visibly worried, san supposed he looked worry inducing at the moment.

San almost stumbled up to them, his eyes slowly closing in tiredness. But he blinked them open forcefully, looking hazily into alvara's stone cold eyes as he said

San : I told you…that I was…the best-

San cut himself off as his legs lost their power, almost about to fall to the floor before alvara held him up in her arms, slowly lowering them onto the floor instead as she said to hongjoong

Alvara : call for the medics.

Hongjoong : yes captain.

Alvara ran her eyes along san whose head was rested against her arm, sweat dripping onto her uniform and his breathing light. He had overgone his physical limit, and this was his first time. 75,000 itself was a stretch, especially for a first-timer. But he had reached 85. She was impressed.

But she wouldn't let him know that.

Alvara : you have proved to me nothing but your carelessness, officer choi. Such risks are not appreciated neither by me, nor the government.

San smiled, looking up at alvara as he said

San : but it is appreciated by the people, isn't it? Is that not-not what matters? Since they…they trust their lives and safety in our hands?

Alvara stared at san as he inhaled deeply, his eyes slowly closing as alvara could hear the medics rushing up to them. The last thing she heard from san was a whisper that probably only reached her ears and no one else's

San : so cruel, captain.

____________________________________

[mi-rae07]

WAIT YOU'RE BACK??? omg I actually missed you so much!! I love your blog, been a follower since a long time now. I've read all your fics multiple times and am so glad to see you back!

I hope you're doing good <3

SORT OF YEAHH🫶🏻🫶🏻

Thank u smsm for all the support and love, that means the world to me. I’ll try my best to put out more good works 🩷🩷🩷🩷

[mi-rae07]

Hey! I hope you are doing well. Please don't feel any pressure to write and take your time to heal. Love your works! 🫶🏻

Awww thank u sm sweetheart, that means a lot 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

[mi-rae07]

Random #16

Hi, I felt like I owed all of you an explanation as to why I just disappeared. And even if only two or three people noticed, I still want to be posting this.

It's not writer's block, or the fact that I lost spark or anything like that. One of the thing, is time. I started my senior year of high-school and you know how hard that is. With trying to get into colleges and trying to get the best grades possible, it's tough out here. And I'm entering the last leg of this crucial year so things are only going to get more tighter and all this hassle will end only by April/May this year. Till then my posting will continue to be the bare minimum. I sincerely apologize for that but my future remains the top priority to me, as much as this blog matters to me.

The second one was...well I started dating this someone, for the first time in my life. It's the usual, I gave him my everything and he left me with nothing. But I've been trying to act all cool and nice as if it hasn't bothered me at all so that just takes even more of a toll on me. I keep writing all these happy endings hoping for mine some day, because all I seem to be getting right now are these soggy sad endings that make no sense because what have I done wrong? But then there's a point where it gets too much and even writing a happy ending for a fictional couple seems to stab at your heart because why doesn't anyone accept you with your faults?

Of course, I'm very young and my time is probably still yet to come but I can't help but believe sometimes that I'm just in a way unlovable, right. I mean, of course if one man can't then another will but...my brain gets that. My heart doesn't. The heart is always stubborn right.

Anyway, point is, things just in general have been tough. Love ruined my life and I'm glad it didn't push me to the rock bottom just yet but I've been recovering and I think I'm getting better. Because, I mean, there's more than just men for me out there right? There are places to travel, women to be complimented, stories to be told and written, things to be heard. I'm so blessed, with the health that I have, the beautiful supportive family that I have, the money that I have, the education that is able to give me and of course, the small but beautiful community I have here in my blog that has always mattered to me. I have so many things, so much to give and take, why should one boy dictate my life and ruin it just because he was blind to see my worth?

I can't let him win, no one should let anyone win except themselves. And so I will be back, or I AM back in a way. Fully fledged starting April end but right now, I will still try to write as much as I can. But as always, I love all of you, and each and every one of you are appreciated out here. So once again,

xoxo,

Mi-Rae.

[mi-rae07]

When are you going to make his sunshine new parts?

Park Seonghwa : His Sunshine (Part 5/7)

Pairing : Park Seonghwa (Ateez) and named character (Lee Byeol)

____________________

A year later :

??? : the lady is calling you for dinner, my lord.

Seonghwa sighed and nodded as he stood up from his study chair, walking through the hallways to the dinner table. It had been a year since byeol and seonghwa got married and things were the same. Byeol was always cold as ever, uncracked and uncaring. She would do the necessary, smile when needed and talk when needed but that was all. It was just like she'd said, a marriage where neither cared for each other. On her part that was true, but on seonghwa's part it was not.

He couldn't help but care for his wife, every time there was a party seonghwa wouldn't let byeol go out his view. Every time they attended events his arm was always wrapped around her waist, his eyes always trained on her. He was always protecting her, and byeol believed it was due to the vow he made but he knew it was out of something else.

The curse always stayed with seonghwa still, he just got used to the pain now. When once seonghwa could sleep soundly at night, now he couldn't even close his eyes without the sleeping potion due to the pain in his head. But they slept separate, and hence byeol had no idea about this.

Byeol : how was work?

The usual question as seonghwa sat down for dinner opposite byeol, the maids quickly placing his dinner down. The dining table in byeol's manor was huge, she was too far away for him to see byeol properly.

Seonghwa : it was okay.

The usual answer.

Byeol : and your mother? How is she?

The usual question.

Seonghwa : she's doing fine.

The usual answer. Byeol took a bite of her food as she said nonchalantly

Byeol : in the matter of an heir, it's been a year already. I think it's about time we start trying.

An unusual statement, one that made seonghwa uncomfortable. He tried to hide it.

Seonghwa : has your nonna been pressuring you again?

Byeol : yes.

Seonghwa : I'll talk to her-

Byeol : no, mr park, I too think we need to have an heir soon. I'm going to be 30 within three years, and you within two years. My fertility window is closing down on me and I won't have much time. It's been a year, and I think I'm ready.

Seonghwa tried not to choke on his food, byeol's tone was final. He believed he didn't have much choice here and it was exasperating.

Seonghwa : you're ready? To be a mother?

Byeol shrugged as she had another bite of her chicken, seonghwa couldn't believe how lightly she was taking this. Of course, seonghwa had signed up for this months ago but he still believed then that byeol could maybe someday bring herself up to love seonghwa and that they could bring this child up together. That hadn't happened yet.

Seonghwa : what if I'm not ready to be a father?

Byeol : a father doesn't have that important of a role other than providing money. You'll be fine, I'll take care of it's emotional needs.

Seonghwa : and what of us?

Byeol : what of us?

Seonghwa : the child will grow up seeing their parents be like this around each other? Calling each other by their surnames?

Byeol looked up at seonghwa as she said

Byeol : seonghwa. Seonghwa, does that settle it?

Seonghwa : you're being unreasonable.

Byeol frowned as she said

Byeol : I'm being unreasonable for wanting a child of my own?

Seonghwa : can't we wait for a little while longer?

Byeol : okay. I'll give you a month, that should be enough time.

Seonghwa : what? But-

Byeol cut him off as she stood up, saying to the maids

Byeol : you can take my plates away, thank you.

The maids bowed as byeol gave them all a small smile before leaving, her long robe being the last thing seonghwa saw as he sighed. He didn't know what to do.

_________________________________

Seonghwa was now sitting out in the garden of their house, his entire body drenched from the rain as he had another sip of the wine. He did not usually drink, but it had been a week since they had that conversation about an heir and he couldn't get his mind off it. A child, of his own when he loved the mother and couldn't even tell her because of the situation they were in.

Seonghwa knew byeol enough to know that if he'd ever tell her about what he felt she'd banish him away from her immediately because of the curse. The only one thing worse than loving her in secret was to never love her again. He was sure she'd use her magic to take his memories of her away from him.

Byeol : are you crazy?

Seonghwa flinched as he turned around, watching byeol rush up to him with an umbrella as she held it above him before saying

Byeol : it's bloody pouring, seonghwa. Come back in, right now.

Seonghwa : is that a command?

Byeol : isn't that the only way you'll listen?

Seonghwa let out a breath as he stood up, stumbling on his steps as byeol immediately caught his arm. Seonghwa frowned as he snatched his arm away from her, walking past byeol. She sighed in annoyance, rushing up to seonghwa as she held the umbrella up above him once again before asking

Byeol : why are you throwing a tantrum right now?

Seonghwa : I’m not.

Byeol : you're being a brat, seonghwa. You don't eat dinner with me anymore-

Seonghwa : what, for you to just ask me how my work was and how eomma is? They're both very fine, thank you for bothering.

Byeol : I…is this about the child?

Seonghwa : I don't have any say in that, do I?

Byeol : so it is about that.

Seonghwa : I don't need this umbrella, go away. I can get myself to my own bed.

Seonghwa was once again about to walk past byeol when she stood right in front of him, blocking his path. Seonghwa let out a breath in annoyance as he said

Seonghwa : please just move-

Byeol : I want to give you a child.

Seonghwa paused, staring at byeol in confusion as she sighed and said

Byeol : I know you do not love me, and yet you have to stay here because you are bound to me. I know how alone you feel in this large manor, seonghwa, with just your work to accompany you. And a curse, a liability looming all around you.

Seonghwa : that is not-

Byeol : this child would be yours, yours to love, yours to care for and worry about. It would bring you the happiness you deserve, the love that you want to give and receive so bad. You won't feel alone anymore, you'll have someone in your life that you could come back to, seonghwa. When everything is dark, this being will be a reason for you to hold on.

Seonghwa felt a lump form in his throat as he realized why byeol wanted this child so much, it was for him. She thought he felt unloved, felt like he couldn't love her, so she wanted to give him someone else instead.

Seonghwa : and-and you? What about you? Your curse…if you have this child you will have to forcefully maintain your distance from them, hold your love back so the curse doesn't affect them. You'll have to live a life of constant pain, byeol, without being able to love your own child freely. It would be torture.

Byeol : well that won't be a first then, I'm used to it. And for you I can bear it. 

Seonghwa : byeol-

Byeol : you have three weeks left, you can decide and tell me then. If you still don't want it, I won't force you. I won't let my nonna do it either, I will speak with her whatever it may take.

Seonghwa stared at byeol as she made him hold the umbrella before saying

Byeol : I've never really given you a choice before, have I? Now I am, this choice is all yours, seonghwa. Whatever…whatever you come to, I will abide by it.

Byeol turned as she rushed back inside the manor, leaving a teary eyed seonghwa behind.

______________________________

Seonghwa : you called me, mrs lee?

Byeol’s grandma nodded as seonghwa entered the room, closing the door behind him before saying

Seonghwa : is there something wrong?

Nonna : your heir. It’s been a year already and I see no progress.

Seonghwa cleared his throat, knowing where this was going to go.

Seonghwa : we haven’t been trying.

Nonna raised her eyebrows as she asked

Nonna : you haven’t tried?

Seonghwa : our marriage does not run on lust.

Nonna : well it can’t be running on love either because if it was then you’d be dead by now. That’s how much of a curse byeol is.

Seonghwa felt his eyes turn sharp as he said

Seonghwa : you don’t get to speak about her like that, especially when you haven’t shown her even an ounce of love, or tried understanding her.

Nonna snorted as she asked

Nonna : and you have? Showed her love, that is? You agreed to marry her out of the promise you made to your mother. And that has an honour to it, a sense of dignity. But not for her, in byeol’s eyes you married her for your own selfish desires. Because you wanted to prove a point to your dead mother.

Seonghwa paused, realizing that was all true. Nonna smirked as she said

Nonna : don’t think you’re any different from me, mr park. She’s just a tool for you too, someone you can take advantage of to your own benefit. So just have that baby, it’ll be better for both you and our family.

What they didn’t realize however, was the heavy breathing coming from just outside the room they were in right now.

_________________________________

Byeol had been having dinner alone again, knowing seonghwa wouldn't come down to eat with her as he hadn't for the past week or so. What he said was true, during dinner all byeol would ask him was the usual three or four question and then stay silent. But even throughout the silence at least she knew he was there, eating with her. But now he was not.

Byeol let out a breath, playing around the food since she wasn't feeling the appetite. Just then she saw the maids around her bow, making byeol look up in confusion.

Seonghwa : I'll have my dinner now.

Byeol watched as seonghwa sat on his seat, the maids placing his dinner down before going away.

Byeol : seonghwa.

Seonghwa : I have my answer.

Byeol froze, of course that was the only reason he was here. Why would he be here otherwise, he did not feel anything for her.

Seonghwa : I don't want a child.

Byeol : seonghwa, if this is about me not being able to love my own child-

Seonghwa : it isn't, it's just because I won't be able to raise a child alone. A child needs both it's mother and father, and I'd hate to subject an innocent child to the torture of having a mother that pushes herself away from them because of this curse. I don't want another being to be bearing that.

Byeol let out a shaky breath, looking back down at her food.

Seonghwa : this is my decision, you told me you would abide by it. So just do it.

But all byeol could think of was the fact that maybe seonghwa had wanted a family of his, and because of her, because of the curse that she was, he couldn't even have that. She felt nauseous.

Byeol stood up and left.

_____________________________

Byeol couldn't sleep, and didn't have it in her to be taking the sleeping potion either. She wasn't crying, but she'd had tears flowing down her eyes. There were no sounds coming but she could hear her heart breaking bit by bit. She never should've agreed to this marriage, but she'd been selfish and done it because she wanted seonghwa to be hers, because she loved him.

And now she'd ruined his life, just as how she'd ruined her parents' and grandfather's life.

Byeol stepped out into the hallway as she opened the door to seonghwa’s room, knowing he would be asleep. She'd do this when seonghwa was asleep, go to his room and stare at him sleep for a long long time until she felt sleepy herself. It was a bit creepy, byeol supposed but it brought a sense of calmness to her.

As byeol entered the room though, she noticed seonghwa shifting around in his bed, small sounds of pain coming from his mouth. Byeol frowned as she walked over to him, holding his hand

Byeol : seonghwa?

Seonghwa mumbled something as he tried moving away from byeol's hold on him, as if it hurt him in some way. Byeol flinched as seonghwa sat up in his bed with a gasp, looking around frantically. She felt herself hold his arm to steady him as she said

Byeol : seonghwa, nothing’s wrong shh.

Seonghwa looked at byeol with wide eyes and she could feel his heart beat hard and loud against his chest

Seonghwa : why are you here?

Byeol should’ve expected that question.

Byeol : I…couldn’t sleep.

Seonghwa : so?

Byeol : I was outside your door and I heard noises so I thought you’d be awake. But then when I opened the door I saw…this.

That was half a lie.

Seonghwa : it was just a nightmare.

Byeol : it sounded like you were in actual physical pain though, seonghwa.

Seonghwa : even if that were the case it shouldn’t be bothering you.

Byeol : what? Seonghwa of course I would be bothered. Why wouldn’t I be if you’re hurt?

Seonghwa : because you don’t have any feelings for me.

Byeol looked at seonghwa, not knowing what to say to that. Did seonghwa really think she was that heartless?

Byeol : you think I don't care? If you were in pain, you don't think that would matter to me? Do you believe I am that heartless-

Seonghwa : well what exactly have you shown me to prove otherwise, huh? Have you looked at me with even an ounce of care for the past year? You always have this stupid façade on about you! This…this illusion with your fake smile, fake emotions, everything! It's always the same, the same stoic mask! It's like you're not even a human with emotions, but just a machine with no cracks. How am I supposed to think any different of you if all you've shown me is this?

Byeol stared at seonghwa as she let him rant and yell at her, she deserved it. Seonghwa let out an exasperated breath as he said

Seonghwa : see! This is exactly what I'm saying! Look at those eyes of yours, they're filled with nothing! It makes me feel so alone, byeol, you make me feel so alone!

Byeol : which was why I said we could have a child-

Seonghwa : I DON'T WANT A CHILD IF THE MOTHER THEY WOULD HAVE TO LIVE WITH IS YOU! Even I can't handle how painful it is to have a wife like this that looks at me as if I were stone, I don't want a child to have to grow up having a mother that seems to have no heart now byeol! What will I tell them when they cry to me asking why their own mother doesn't look at them with love? Am I supposed to tell them that a woman who seemed unfazed by a man assaulting her and using her body wouldn't have it in her to love a child either?

Byeol felt her heart drop at his words, it stung. She tried to hide it behind her mask again.

Byeol : seonghwa-

Seonghwa : no…no don't! I would rather die than have a child grow up with a mother like you. At least orphans can sleep thinking that their mother is dead and couldn't love them even if she wanted to. But this? Seeing your mother every single day and she looks at you as if you were worth nothing? Having a mother that isn't dead but isn't alive either? I'd rather die than have my child go through that.

Seonghwa didn't know why he was saying all of this, he had no idea why he was hurting her like this. But he just wanted to see a single emotion on byeol's face, he was so desperate for it. But even now she maintained that same stupid façade, she was still unfazed and seonghwa felt his heart crash.

Seonghwa : leave me alone.

Byeol : seonghwa let me just-

Seonghwa : I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE!

Byeol stared at seonghwa for a second before standing up, looking elsewhere as she walked out the room silently and shut the door behind her. As she walked to her own room she felt tears stream down her eyes, silent sobs wrecking her body.

He would hate for his child to have her as their mother, he hates that she was his wife, hates that she was alive because it would've been easier if she were dead. Byeol knew seonghwa felt this way, but to hear it from him directly stung worse than she expected it would.

Byeol slid down the wall of her room as she buried her face into her hands, sobbing.

And the worst part was? This wasn't the first.

"What did I do to deserve a daughter like you? Why…why was I cursed with this, what have I done! You…you killed my wife and now I…I have to be your father?"

Byeol still remembered her father's cries every time he looked at his photos with her mother, wishing he could've had it different with her. Wishing byeol wasn't born, and she was only 6 at the time. She barely understood, hardly knew how to change it for her dad. But she wanted to, desperately. She wanted to take his pain away and all her little unloved mind could interpret back then was that she was the problem. That if she were dead then her papa wouldn't cry anymore.

And so she'd taken the decision, she'd dragged her little legs with the teddy her dead mother had sown before she was born all the way to the nearby lake and jumped into it. She just didn't see her grandfather fishing on the other side. And then it had gone all wrong.

But maybe…maybe if she tried it just one more time. There was no grandfather to save her this time, was there?

_______________________________

[mi-rae07]

Song Mingi : Blood And Bones

Pairing : Song Mingi (Ateez) and named character (Jung Miyeon)

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Synopsis : Miyeon is an underground boxer, her life revolves around blood and violence while Mingi is the CEO of a tech company, his life revolves around diploma and professionalism.

They're in a relationship, and has been for a year but mingi still cannot get used to seeing miyeon beat people up to the point where they have to be taken to the hospital and miyeon seems to give more importance to WWE matches than their dates. Will Mingi finally have enough?

____________________

A/n : Just a small light-hearted fic after the last one because I supposed I needed it.

_____________________

Miyeon : you think you're any better than me you wench?

That was the last thing miyeon said before punching her opponent right in the face, making her fall to the arena floor as she coughed up blood. The crowd around screamed, making miyeon smirk in victory as the referee counted

??? : ONE! TWO! THREE AND WE HAVE A WINNER!

The referee raised miyeon's arm as the crowd clapped and screamed for her, making her feel good all over again. This was all she wanted, the feeling of winning the screams of her crowd. This, made the pain all worth it.

Miyeon smirked and looked towards the front row as she noticed her boyfriend just staring at her, his eyes unreadable. He got up as he noticed her stare and just walked out, making miyeon sigh. She was going to have to go out after him.

Soon the congratulations and pats in the back were all over as miyeon rushed out of the hall without bothering to even grab her trophy, finding her boyfriend more important.

Miyeon : mingi!

Miyeon rushed up to mingi who was leaning against the stone wall right outside the hall, his breathing heavy as miyeon said excitedly

Miyeon : did you see my win! Wasn't it-

Mingi : I did see your win, miyeon, and I also saw your opponent being taken to the hospital in a stretcher, bruised and bloodied. Something you caused.

Miyeon rolled her eyes at his words as she said

Miyeon : this is underground boxing, mingi. I have to cause that to her to win, and I have to win to earn money.

Mingi : don't I already make enough money for us?

Miyeon stared at mingi's Aston Martin that was parked a few feet away from them, her rusty old Swift next to it a complete contrast.

Miyeon : money for you, yes. For us, well we don’t know how long that will last. You can leave the next second and I'll be left with nothing. I've told you before, mingi, that I will not make the mistake of sacrificing my career for a man, even you.

Mingi : career? You're a business graduate, miyeon, you had so many other job options and you chose this. This…pathetic game of violence that always ends in blood.

Miyeon : are you questioning my career choices right now, song mingi?

Mingi paused as miyeon scoffed in anger and said

Miyeon : my life is mine to choose, mingi, you are just a part of it and not the whole life. I can live without you as well so do not overstep your boundaries.

Mingi : miyeon I just-

Miyeon : no you keep doing this, don't you? Do I come into your company and ask you to quit it to go work as a boxer? Disrespect the work that you do for a living? No. So you don't get to do that with me either.

Mingi : I just don't want you hurt-

Miyeon : aww, how cute of you. Mingi you met me when I was a boxer, you fell in love with me despite all the blood and broken bones. And now you're trying to change me?

Mingi : I was just…I was just scared. It won't happen again.

Miyeon chuckled, rolling her eyes as she said

Miyeon : that's the 5th time you're saying that mingi. If you can't handle me, then leave and find some girl that runs a fucking florist shop.

Miyeon turned and was about to walk towards the hall again when mingi held her arm, turning her around before saying

Mingi : I'm sorry, I promise it won't happen again.

Miyeon stared at mingi, not really believing him. He let out a breath as he leaned forward, holding her blood smeared cheek before kissing it. He could taste the blood on his lips, but the love he had for her measured far more than his dislike for blood.

Mingi : I love you, I just didn't want to see you hurt that's all. I won't try and change you, miyeon, your life is yours.

Miyeon leaned forward and kissed mingi, pushing him into a secluded corner wall before kissing him harder. Mingi groaned as he tangled his hand in miyeon's hair, tugging it as she pulled back and stared at him with hazy eyes before saying

Miyeon : be glad you have a pretty face too good to be ruined.

Mingi smiled as miyeon ran her thumb along his lips with a smirk before whispering

Miyeon : or I would've let you go a long time ago for so much as talking against me.

_______________________________

A week later :

Mingi : um miyeon?

Miyeon hummed, leaning back against the sofa as her eyes were still trained on the WWE boxing match playing on TV. She had been at this for hours now and mingi now wondered whether she'd forgotten about the date they had in the evening. Mingi had kept himself from reminding her thinking it would anger her if he interfered in between. But there was only 15 minutes left to leave and miyeon was still eating chips on the couch.

Mingi : we…we have a date.

Miyeon : mm, when?

Mingi blinked his eyes as miyeon still kept her focus on the match

Mingi : within 15 minutes?

Miyeon paused, now turning to face mingi as she asked

Miyeon : wait, 15…oh shit!

Mingi's heart dropped at the genuine surprise on miyeon's face as he said in a low voice

Mingi : you forgot about it.

Miyeon : oh, min I'm so sorry I just-

Mingi : no it's fine, forget about it.

Mingi took off his suit jacket before throwing it into the laundry, walking towards their room without a word. Miyeon sighed as she got up from the sofa, picking up the suit jacket before rushing behind mingi

Miyeon : mingi-ah, I'll get ready right now.

Mingi : don't bother, I'm cancelling.

Miyeon let out a breath as she followed behind mingi into their room before saying in a hurried voice

Miyeon : I was just too focused on the match it slipped my mind-

Mingi : oh yeah, just like how everything about me just 'slips your mind'.

Miyeon let out an exasperated breath as mingi sat back on their bed, untying his shoelaces as he said

Mingi : have you ever had me forget a date, miyeon? A birthday? An anniversary?

Miyeon sighed as she kneeled on the floor next to mingi before trying to hold mingi's hand. He shook his head, taking his hand away. Miyeon held it again, shaking her head as she said

Miyeon : look at me.

Mingi : I don't want to.

Miyeon knew how mingi was when he was about to cry, and this was it. She held his cheek before turning him to face her as she said

Miyeon : min, I'm so sorry. I'll get ready real quick and we can go out okay? I'll even pay for the entire date to make up for it, hmm?

Miyeon knew mingi would've picked a high end restaurant for dinner and her budget definitely wouldn't cover it. But even if she had to take a loan out she was going to pay for it.

Mingi : no it's okay, you can go back to your match.

Mingi's voice wavered in the end as he pressed his lips together, looking away. Miyeon's eyes softened as she leaned forward and kissed mingi before pulling back and said

Miyeon : baby, please. I know I made a mistake and I'm sorry for it, aren't I? I'll make up for it and it won't happen again, I promise.

A tear fell down mingi's eyes as he said

Mingi : but I feel so small in your life, miyeon.

Miyeon stared at mingi as his face contorted into that of pain as he said shakily

Mingi : I know I'm only a part of your life but am I really such a small part? You give more importance to a match than me, miyeon. I just…I just want some attention-

Mingi cut himself off with a sob as miyeon hugged him, nuzzling her face into his neck before saying

Miyeon : you are a big part of my life mingi, I promise. I make as much money as I can for you, so I can buy you the things you buy for me. I want a future with you, a family some day even. I swear it's not like I don't love you, I do. I know I'm not doing a good job showing it but I'll get better, hmm?

Mingi stared at miyeon as she pulled back and wiped his tears away with the pad of her thumbs, kissing both his eyes as she whispered

Miyeon : I'll get better. Won't you forgive me, baby?

Mingi sniffled, nodding as he said

Mingi : okay, but only if you promise me ice-cream for the next week.

Miyeon chuckled with teary eyes, kissing mingi's cheek as she said

Miyeon : anything for my baby boy. Now, I'll go get ready!

Miyeon rushed towards her closet as she said loudly

Miyeon : and wear that suit, you look very sexy in it.

Mingi chuckled as miyeon skipped into the closet to change excitedly. He put the suit on as he sighed and whispered

Mingi : still won't match up to your muscles.

_________________________________

[mi-rae07]

Random #13

Requests are open again by the way, so drop any requests or scenarios you’d like me to write because I’m completely out of ideas now lmao.

xoxo,

Mi-Rae

[mi-rae07]

Jeong Yunho : His Wish

Pairing : Jeong Yunho (Ateez) and named character (Kim Yuri)

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Synopsis : Yuri and Yunho were once a couple that lived on the streets, starving and cold. She had a million wishes, wishes she knew could never be fulfilled. But yunho had been determined, he had promised her to make all those wishes come true. She had laughed at him, knowing it was impossible but a decade or so later, she's proven completely wrong.

Yunho is now a ruthless president, exploiting people for his own personal wishes, or rather hers. He has fulfilled all her wishes, except this last one. Will he fulfill that too? Even if it means turning himself into something he cannot reverse? Or is he already too far gone?

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A/n : this is a really long fic, maybe even one of the longest I've ever written but I PROMISE it will be worth it. I'm actually really proud of it too! Let's hope this doesn't flop just because of how long it is. Whichever way, I hope you guys enjoy this.

_________________________________

??? : how does it feel like being the wife of such a ruthless murderer that rose to power through pure violence?

??? : does he abuse you as well?

??? : how do you bring yourself up to love such a monster?

??? : ma'am how was it like watching your husband change into this new man?

??? : are you going to divorce him soon!

This was all yuri had heard when she stepped out of her house as the first lady of the country years ago. And they were right, yunho had become the president of this country through force and bloodshed. Yuri had watched him change from the righteous, good man yunho was to this corrupting, ruthless monster he was now. She had watched him change, but she still couldn't bring herself up to hate him.

He was her husband, someone that had loved and cherished her when no one did. He had protected her from her abusive father, given her a home, a child, a family, she could never hate the father of her child.

As yuri stepped into her daughter's nursery the 5 year old ran up to her with a huge smile that was similar to his, her eyes sparkling in joy

Yeseul : mama!

Yuri : seul-ie.

Yuri kneeled down and hugged her daughter as she jumped into her arms, mumbling into her chest

Yeseul : missed you!

Yuri chuckled as she ran her hand along the back of yeseul's hair before whispering

Yuri : mama missed you too sweetheart.

Yeseul : appa?

Yuri pressed her lips together at her usual question, knowing she would have to give yeseul her usual answer.

Yuri : appa has work, seul-ie. He's busy.

Yeseul nodded in understanding, that being what hurt yuri the most. The fact that she was understanding, never throwing a tantrum over anything.

Yeseul : but appa loves me?

Yuri smiled as she closed her eyes, hugging yeseul tighter before whispering

Yuri : you're his entire world, baby.

_______________________________

Yuri watched as yunho entered their room, his eyes droopy from the tiredness but his blood stained white shirt telling otherwise. That blood was proof of the fact that her husband had robbed a family of another father, another son, another husband or another brother today, as he does every other day.

Yuri : that's not your blood, is it?

Yunho shook his head with a sigh as he started unbuttoning it.

Yuri : yeseul asked me about you today, can't you really spend some time with her?

Yunho : you know I can't.

Yunho threw the shirt into the trash as yuri said

Yuri : I could've had the maids wash it for you.

Yunho : the blood stains never go away, yuri.

Yuri stared at yunho, that sentence repeating in her head. She had thought about it countless times, the swears people said to yunho silently as they watched him kill and kill, the curses that fell from each mother's trembling lips, each wife's broken body as they watched their men die. It was horrible, knowing yunho would never be able to wash those stains off. It would always come back to him, to his family, to their daughter.

Yuri : I just uhm, you keep having to buy new shirts-

Yunho : we have enough money for that now.

Money, yes. That was one of the very few things they had in plenty, killing people came with at least one advantage. Money and power, even if it was at the cost of others. Yuri vaguely remembered the times yunho and her had spent time in the streets starving, wishing someone would drop at least a coin so they could buy proper food as their wages never paid enough. But even through that yunho had remained in the side of justice, that was until he got a small taste of power and decided to overthrow the government entirely.

Yuri : how was…work?

Yunho : fine.

Yunho stepped into the bathroom as he shut the door behind him, the sounds of shower falling into yuri's ears. She wished it were different, she loved yunho but she wished he were different. But there was nothing she could do about that, she'd come to that conclusion long time ago.

Yuri got up from their bed as she opened the door to the bathroom, stepping into it as she looked at the steamed up shower cubicle at the corner of the large bathroom. She walked towards it as she asked out loud

Yuri : do you mind if I join you?

A minute later yunho replied

Yunho : no.

Yuri let out a breath as she removed her nightgown, opening the cubicle door as she stepped in. She looked up at yunho who was now drenched in water, his hairs sticking to his forehead and his chest glistening against the low light.

Different from the frail, skinny and fragile boy he once was in the streets, so very different.

Yunho : is something wrong?

Yuri shook her head as she wrapped her arms around yunho's neck, the water now drenching her as well as she whispered

Yuri : no, I just missed you.

Yunho wrapped his arms around yuri's waist as he brought her close, resting his head against her shoulders as he felt her kiss one of the scars that littered his collarbone. He remembered how he'd gotten it, the weeks it had taken for it to heal. But then he thought of yuri, their then newly born daughter, and he'd lived with the pain happily.

Yuri : does it ever hurt you?

Yunho : what?

Yuri : killing people. The screams, the cries, the pain. No?

It haunted him every night, every single time he would so much as sit still. He remembered the curses, the cries, the sounds of death that he caused. It strained the life out of him day by day. Yunho sighed deeply, his arms around yuri tightening as he said

Yunho : does it matter?

Yuri : it does to me, yunho.

Yunho remembered the times yuri would call him 'yun', instead of his full name. that was before all this, before he became this monster. Back when yuri loved all of him and cherished all of him. Now she loved only that mist of what yunho once was that was barely inside him anymore, yunho knew it. And the disappearance of his favorite nickname from her mouth was proof. He was no longer the man yuri once loved in the streets.

Yunho : sometimes. But then I remember I have a family to feed.

Yunho's hand came up to yuri's bulged stomach, resting upon it as she sighed. Of course, yunho had always been selfish and ruthless when it came to them.

Yunho : have you thought of a name yet? There's barely 6 months left.

Yuri let out a small smile as she looked at yunho's large hand that was rested against their baby boy, his eyes showing happiness and hope too.

Yuri : not yet. Do you really not have any wishes for it? I named yeseul too, you know?

Yunho : yes and you chose to name her after my mother, not a name that was precious to you.

Yunho had always told yuri about how important his mother had been to him, and how she had withheld everything and protected him until her very last breath. He'd told her of how she'd given up her own comfort and happiness to keep him warm during the cold winters, how she had suffered his father's abuses in silence just so she could keep yunho safe. She knew how much his mother had once meant to yunho, which was why she'd named their first child after his mother's name.

Yunho : this time I want you to name our son after a name that is precious to you, and only you.

Yuri nodded as yunho lifted her chin up with his fingers, staring into her eyes as he whispered

Yunho : I love you, I have loved you my entire life and forever will yuri. Because without you there would be no me. All that I do, is for you.

And for a split second yuri could see the man that she once loved in yunho, the man that slept on the streets with her, covered in mud and sweat. But even then she had loved him, she had cherished him. And even now, she loved him. Maybe not in the same way as she once did but in another way, in her own way, she still did.

Yuri : I love you too yunho.

Yunho leaned forward and kissed her, the water wiping off the blood on yunho's chest and the tears off yuri's cheeks.

______________________________

Yunho walked into yeseul's room late at night, yuri already having fallen asleep. So had yunho, until a nightmare woke him up. He was glad yuri had been too far asleep to notice his little cries. Yunho crept up to his daughter who was also lying fast asleep in her small princess bed, her toys all tucked close to her as a silk blanket kept her warm from the perfect cold of the air-conditioning.

Apart from watching yuri sleep in peace and in warmth without fearing someone touching her in the wrong way as they had in the streets, this was what made all the pains yunho had had to go through worth it. He had never had this when he was a child, a bed to sleep in, warm blankets, nothing. His father had given him and his mother nothing. Yunho had then vowed that one day when he had a wife and children of his own, he'd given them everything no matter what it took from him.

If it was his righteousness and his humanity, then so be it. He wouldn't let yuri, yeseul or their unborn son go through a day of their life without food or warmth like he had. Not a single day.

Yeseul : appa?

Yunho looked at yeseul as her sleepy voice woke him up from his trance, quickly replacing the frown with a smile as yunho whispered

Yunho : hello, my princess.

Yeseul smiled as she sat up on her bed, scooting towards yunho before nuzzling into his chest. Yunho's heart swelled at the feeling of having her against him, quickly wrapping his arms protectively around their daughter as he asked

Yunho : did you have your meals today, princess?

Yeseul nodded as she said

Yeseul : mhmm, it was very yummy. I had my favorite pastries today.

Yunho smiled at that, running his hand through her hair as he said

Yunho : you'll have your favorite pastries every single day, hmm?

That was a promise, a promise yunho knew would stand even after his death. He would make sure of it. Yeseul mumbled an okay as she looked up at her father and asked

Yeseul : appa?

Yunho : yes, princess?

Yeseul : what did you want to be when you were a child?

Yunho paused at that, remembering the time in his mother's arms when he'd told her that he wanted to make a difference in people's lives someday, make them better, make them good. Help the homeless and give food to the starved. That felt so long ago now, a distant memory.

Yunho : a lawyer. I wanted to bring justice to people who deserved it, let innocent people live happily and let the bad suffer for their bad deeds. I…wanted to make the world a better place.

The words stung his throat, knowing how things had turned around. Knowing that he was now doing the exact opposite of all that he once wanted to do.

Yeseul : I'm going to be a lawyer one day then.

Yunho looked down at yeseul in part surprise as she smiled and said

Yeseul : I'll make all your dreams come true for you one day, appa.

Yunho smiled and nodded as he hugged yeseul once again, feeling tears stream down his cheeks. He knew he wasn't going to see that happen, he just hoped he could hold his unborn son at least once before he died.

__________________________

2 months later :

??? : the revolts are going out of control, sir.

Yunho : and the army?

??? : well, some men are turning their backs on us now, some others killing themselves as they consider death better than to fight for your safety, sir.

Yunho could see how satisfied his advisor was by those news, they say keep the one you trust and love as your advisor but the only person who trusted and loved yunho was yuri. And she too would rather die than be his advisor on matters relating to mass murders.

The advisor tried his best to hide the satisfaction as he conveyed the news, knowing what happened to the last one. Yunho still remembered his last words

"How long are you going to keep doing this until you kill everyone, mr president? How long?"

"As long as I can to feed my family"

Yunho : kill them all. And find new men.

??? : p-pardon me, sir?

Yunho : kill the men who turned their backs on me, and their families. And recruit new men, bring the age limit down to 14.

Even the advisor couldn't hide his shock

??? : sir but they are children-

Yunho : did I stutter, advisor?

??? : no, sir.

Yunho : then do as I say before I kill you as well.

____________________________

Yuri : you're recruiting children now, yunho?

Yunho sighed as he unbuttoned his work shirt, throwing it away before saying

Yunho : I can't let the numbers go low.

Yuri : you know this isn't going to work, yunho recruiting children will cause only more anger. They will destroy you.

Yunho : well then it will take them a month at least to gather themselves up from the shock, by the time they come for me, I'll be ready.

He'll be ready with what? Another weapon of mass destruction? Yuri felt this would go too far, even for him.

Yuri : what?

Yunho : can we just sleep?

Yunho got onto the bed as yuri said

Yuri : yunho I've never said anything to you about the horrible things that you've done so far but this…this is too cruel even by your standards. Children, they're children yunho even you have a daughter-

Yunho : these children will grow to be rebels that revolt against me, my daughter would never do that. If these children die now, then so be it. I'll just be ridding myself off of future rebels and work.

Yuri stared at yunho with horrified eyes, his words cutting through her heart.

Yuri : you…this is not the man that I loved. The man that I loved would never sacrifice the lives of innocent children. The man that I loved would never be this cruel and animalistic, yunho.

Yunho felt her words break another piece of his heart, but he didn't let it show.

Yunho : the man that you loved is dead, yuri. He was left dead in the streets.

Yuri felt a tear slip down her eye as yunho laid back down on the bed, turning around and closing his eyes. Yuri couldn't believe him, believe how cold hearted and nonchalant he was being about this. She felt her heart drop as she realized that power really had gotten to him.

But what she didn't see was the tears that streamed out of yunho's eyes the second he felt yuri lay back down and turn her back against his. It hurt, every single day it hurt.

Then yunho remembered the way yuri had cried into his chest while on the streets, saying over and over again that she was so hungry, so cold. He remembered his promises.

_____________________________

Yuri stared up at the ceiling 3 hours later, not being able to sleep. She remembered the time on the streets when yunho had asked her how she wanted their future house to look like. She'd laughed at the thought, they would never have a future house together. They were on the streets, the most they could get was a few pennies for some food. Her laugh, yunho had noticed. How sure she was that they'd never have a house. But even then she had told him how she wanted their house to look like, like she was explaining a dream too good to happen.

And then when yunho became president the first thing he'd ordered for was a house. He hadn't let yuri pick anything in their house while they were building it and that had angered her. But it all melted away the second she saw it in the end. It was exactly as how she had described it to him 4 years ago, down to every single detail. Details even she couldn't properly remember.

The same navy blue interior, golden curtains, white beds that were too comfortable to get out of. Everything was the same as what she'd told him on the streets. Back then it was just a dream for her, one she'd laughed at when yunho promised to make that house for her some day. She'd laughed again, she appreciated the sentiment but she knew it wasn't possible.

But that day, yunho had made it possible. He had made her dream come true, and he continued to do so even up until this date. He kept all of his promises, even the once unrealistic ones.

Yuri flinched as she felt yunho suddenly sit up on the bed, gasping as he almost screamed out her name. Yuri sat up as she tried holding yunho, him getting frantic at the sudden hold as he pushed her away. It scratched her arm, causing it to bleed as she winced. But she didn't stop, she tried holding him again as she said

Yuri : yunho! Yunho shh, I'm right here. It's just a dream.

Once again yunho tried pushing her away, his breathing getting heavier and heavier as sweat covered his forehead and chest. He was having a panic attack. Yuri tried holding him again as yunho flinched, her holding his hands down with force as she said

Yuri : yunho please! I'm here, I'm here it's okay!

Yunho paused at that, his chest heaving as he looked at her with tears in his eyes. For a moment he stayed like that, his broken eyes staring into her worried ones. And then he collapsed against her body, his head falling on her chest and his arms wrapping around her shoulders as he sobbed

Yunho : I was so sc-scared.

Yuri quickly wrapped her arms around yunho, it having been a long time since she heard yunho cry like this.

Yuri : it was just a nightmare yunho, shh.

Yunho shook his head as he looked up at her with such intensity and said

Yunho : you cannot die.

In that moment yunho looked like he could kill anyone who so much as touched yuri, and it scared her knowing that yunho had enough power to do that.

Yuri : yunho-

Yunho : no! Even if I die you have to live, I have done everything so you could live, I cannot lose you I would lose my mind-

Yuri shook her head as she said

Yuri : hey, no that's not happening okay?

Yunho sniffled as yuri held his cheek, making him face her once again as she whispered

Yuri : you are never going to lose me, I will always be here for you yunho.

Yunho's face contorted at her words as he whispered

Yunho : what if I can't? What if I can't be with you?

Yuri's eyes softened as she held yunho closer to her before whispering

Yuri : yunho-ya, that was just a dream. You will always be with me, won't you?

Yunho pressed his lips together, giving her a small nod as he nuzzled his head back into her chest. Yuri sighed as she ran her hand along his hair, whispering softly

Yuri : it was just a dream darling, nothing's going to happen to us.

Yunho : you know-you know I love you right?

Yuri : I do.

Yunho : all I've ever done is to make your dreams come true, I just wanted you to have the life you deserved and wanted.

Yuri felt tears in her eyes, closing them as yunho said

Yunho : when you told me about the sort of life you wanted to live and I promised you to make them come true, you laughed at how ridiculous those promises were. You never expected me to fulfill them.

Yuri : yunho-ya.

Yunho : aren't you happy now?

A tear streamed down yuri's eyes as yunho looked up at her and said

Yunho : please tell me you're happy, please. Tell me you feel safe, warm, healthy. Tell me you've had all your dreams come true.

Yuri could see the desperation in yunho's eyes, wanting so hard to know that he had fulfilled his promises. And he had, he had broken every other promise he had made to everyone else just to fulfill hers.

Yuri smiled as she wiped off yunho's tears with her thumbs before whispering

Yuri : you have, yunho, you've made all my dreams come true. I am happy.

________________________________

A month later :

Yuri saw the news, the revolts couldn't be stopped anymore. They wanted yunho hanged. Yuri had hoped yunho would come up with something but there was nothing, he hadn't even come home for 3 days and barely picked up her calls to let her know that he was alive. Yuri feared this had gotten out of control, they had to run.

She had been sitting in the living room with the TV still on, her hands rubbing her baby bump as she felt the door open and shut. Yuri quickly stood up, turning around as she saw yunho rush into the living room. He looked like a mess, his shirt sticking to his sweaty skin with blood stains on it, his hair drenched from sweat and blood as he almost stumbled up to her.

Yuri : yunho!

Yuri caught yunho in her arms as she felt him rest his head weakly against her shoulder before whispering

Yunho : it's over.

Yunho's voice was final, it scared her.

Yuri : no. No it can’t be, there has to be some other way-

Yunho : there is, there is a way out for you. You and the kids.

Yuri stared as yunho moved back, pulling out a box from his pocket as he gave it to her before saying

Yunho : tickets for two, to Wales and the keys to your new countryside manor there.

Yuri’s eyes widened with tears as she stared at it in horror. Her mind flashed back to another one of her wishes

"Do you know what my biggest dream is? To live in a countryside manor in Wales with you and our kids in the future. Raise our kids to be good people, live in peace and live a full life of happiness"

Yuri : no. No yunho no! you can't be doing this to me-

Yunho : listen to me.

Yuri shook her head desperately as yunho held her cheeks, giving her a smile as he said

Yunho : do you want to know why I became this? This monster of a man, this stupid president despite knowing I hate everything that has to do with politics? Torturing myself by killing people every day, watching their families hurt when all I wanted was to help these people?

Yuri shook her head as tears streamed down her cheeks, finally realizing everything.

Yunho : because helping people would never have given me money. You had so many dreams, yuri, dreams you felt so sure would never come true. I saw the way you cried from hunger, shiver from the cold. My righteousness and belief in justice would never have given you food, or warmth. I had to change, I had to do something to make it all stop. So I went against everything I knew, I exploited people and made them work for me. I became this monster. Every day I would look in the mirror and I couldn’t even recognize myself, I hated myself yuri.

Yuri : yunho…

Yunho smiled as tears streamed down his cheeks, whispering in a broken tone

Yunho : but you were happy. You were warm and you were no longer hungry. Yeseul was happy, she had a childhood and now so will our son. If that comes at the cost of my own life then so be it.

Yuri : yunho please you-you can’t-

Yunho : when I first became president I started using the tax money to store it away secretly in a vault in England without anyone knowing. I’ve saved every single day since then, to the point where I had to buy 20 more vaults to fit the money. The money that I have stored there will last you a full life of wealth and luxury. It will pay for food, warmth, and our children’s education and future. Yours as well.

Yuri looked at the box in her hands as she asked

Yuri : and you? Wh-what about you?

Yunho : I cannot come with you, you know that. The people want me hanged and I plan to surrender myself to them tomorrow morning. They won’t come after you, I’m sure of that. They only want me and that I will make sure they have.

Yuri sobbed as she felt her legs lose their strength, making her fall to the floor with a thud

Yuri : this isn’t fair. I want you yunho, I don’t care about any of this I want you. We can run together-

Yunho shook his head as he kneeled down next to her before saying

Yunho : you know that’s not possible, sweetheart. They will hunt me down wherever I go, there will never be peace for us. We will have to live in constant fear and that will only hurt you and our kids.

Yuri cried as yunho hugged her, his arms warm around her body as he said

Yunho : this was my last promise, the promise of a future. One that I’ve never been able to give you before. I worked so hard for this, I suffered every single day for a decade so I could give you this yuri-ya. Please.

Yuri stared at yunho with broken eyes as he sniffed and said

Yunho : I’ve turned myself into a monster for this. You can’t throw that away, please. You have to take this.

Yuri : I can't live a life without you, yunho. Not when you've done so much-

Yunho : for our children, please. If you do this, if we do this you can give them a childhood, a future. They can live happily from the start, something we've never had. They will never starve, yuri, they will never have to fear living on the streets. They will have a life, a life that is theirs.

Yuri looked at yunho with a sob as he whispered

Yunho : all that I've done, I've done for you. The whole reason I became this president was so that I could fulfill your dreams, my promises to you. You deserve that.

Yuri : and what about you! Why is it always me and the kids, what about your life yunho!

Yunho shook his head as he held her cheeks before whispering

Yunho : all I've wanted was to see you happy, was to give you a healthy and safe family. I've just wanted you to live, yuri, I don't care for what I have to do for that.

Yuri sobbed as she hugged yunho, her tears staining his shirt as yunho said

Yunho : my life has always been yours, yuri. Whatever it is that you want, I will make it happen, I promised it. I always keep my promises.

Yunho ran his hand along yuri's hair as he said

Yunho : you have given me a life, a family, so much love and happiness. I want to give that back to you, to our children.

Yuri cried, not being able to form a word as yunho rested his hand against her bump before saying

Yunho : I will never be able to hold my boy, never be able to see him but I will always love him and yeseul. They'll grow up to be good people who can make a good difference in this world, I'm sure of that. And maybe…one day, they could save a couple like us from this pain, they could help a family be together happily. For that chance, for them I am willing to do this.

How yunho wished he could hold his child just like every other father in this world, but he knew this was the punishment for the sons he had killed in his life. But even then, he was sure that their son would grow up to love and protect his mother. And that was all yunho needed. He didn't need to hold the child, yunho knew he would still be his son.

Yuri : I have only ever wanted you, yunho.

Yunho : and me you will have, you will always have me, yuri. I'll be right here, always.

Yunho placed his hand against her heart as he kissed her forehead and said

Yunho : I love you.

Yuri : I love you too, yun. I always will, I promise to remember you until the moment I take my last breath. And the life after that, we will live together. Happily and in peace. We will be together, and it won't be cold anymore, and we won't be hungry anymore.

Yunho smiled, his lips quivering at the use of his old nickname as he connected his forehead with hers before whispering

Yunho : together, forever.

_____________________________

Yeseul : appa? But it's only 3am, why did you wake me up already?

Yunho smiled at yeseul's confused sleepy face as he said

Yunho : there's somewhere you have to go, with eomma.

Yeseul : so…you're not coming with us?

Yunho felt his heart break at her words, wishing he could go along with them, live a life of peace and happiness with his family. But he couldn't, he had accepted that long back ago.

Yunho : appa can't, he has some work to do. You'll be fine, won't you? You'll take care of your eomma and your little brother for me? While I'm away?

Yeseul smiled, that smile that was so similar to his own as she said

Yeseul : of course I will, I will always take care of them for you appa.

He could hear the finality in her voice, and yunho knew their daughter would grow up to be just like her mother. Yunho smiled as he felt tears in his eyes, widening his arms for yeseul to come to as he whispered

Yunho : won't you give appa a hug, princess?

Yeseul nodded as she hugged him, yunho running his hand along her hair. He knew this was the last time he would hold his daughter like this, but at least he got to see her grow. His son, more than anything yunho hated how that boy would never see his father or know the love of his father. At school when everyone would have their daddies come to pick them up, yeseul and their son never would. At least yeseul would remember her father, his hugs. His son never would and that haunted yunho. He cursed at the world for this life of theirs.

Yunho : you are my life's treasure, yeseul. You've always been the ray of hope in both mine and your mother's life. You made every day of my life worth living. I love you so much, my princess.

Yunho pulled back as he removed his family ring from his pinky, that being the only gift he'd ever received from his father as he put it on yeseul's little thumb finger

Yunho : this is yours, for I know that one day you'll bring pride and honor to our family name. And this ring will finally have some value to it.

Yeseul smiled and nodded as she hugged her father once again before whispering

Yeseul : I love you too, appa. No matter how far away from us you'll be, I'll always love you.

Yeseul stared at the ring with hopeful, determined eyes as she said

Yeseul : and our family name will shine one day with honor, I promise.

___________________________

The hardest part was not letting them go, it was watching them go. Yunho watched as the cab that would take them to the airport pulled up to the manor, the driver loading all the luggage yuri had quickly packed up into the car. Yeseul had been the first to skip outside the house with her small bag, running up to yunho and hugging his legs

Yeseul : I'll miss you, appa.

Yunho smiled sadly as he leaned down and kissed her head before patting her back

Yunho : I'll miss you too, my princess.

Yeseul smiled and waved at yunho one last time before getting onto the car, not knowing she'd never see her father again. And seeing her hopeful smiles of yunho's return later almost caused yunho to break down, but he had to hold himself strong. That was until yuri walked out of the house wearing the first proper dress yunho had bought for her with his money, her eyes red and puffy.

Yunho pressed his lips together as yuri walked towards him, his hand placing itself against her bump as yuri smiled at him before whispering

Yuri : I'll tell him all about his father, all the things you've done for him and how wonderful of a father you have always been. He'll remember you as if he's known you his entire life, yun, I promise.

Yunho smiled as he felt tears fill his eyes once again, leaning forward as he hugged yuri and said

Yunho : you have to take care of yourself first and foremost okay? You have to be happy, or all of this would've been for nothing.

Yuri bit her lips as she felt tears stream down her eyes, nuzzling her head into her husband's shoulder knowing that this was the last time she would ever feel his warmth, the warmth that had kept her alive during the harsh winters.

Yuri : you…it won't hurt that bad right? When they…when they hang-hang you-

Yuri cut herself off with a sob as yunho shut his eyes tightly, shaking his head before saying

Yunho : no. No it'll be okay, I'll be okay sweetheart.

Yuri nodded as she pulled back and sniffed before holding yunho's cheek with her trembling hands

Yuri : I will always be your wife, yours and yours only.

Yunho let out a shaky breath and nodded, he didn't know if he could speak anymore without breaking down. Yuri leaned forward and kissed him, pouring out all her love and pain into the kiss. Yunho kissed her back with tears streaming down his eyes, knowing he'd never have this again. They pulled back a minute later, their foreheads still connected as yuri said

Yuri : I love you, yun.

Those would be the last words yunho would have ringing through his mind as he hanged, yunho was sure of it.

Yunho : I love you too, sweetheart.

Yuri let out a final breath as she kissed his cheek before stepping back, their hands being the final thing that connected them together. Their wedding rings glowed against the light, a forever reminder that yunho belonged to yuri and yuri, to yunho.

And without another word yunho watched his entire world leave him forever. And in that moment, he was already dead.

____________________________

Yuri was now sitting at the airport with yeseul reading a book next to her, their flight boarding within 20 minutes. She had gotten a private lounge so people wouldn't recognize her, and the private lounge seemed to have a TV with the news channel currently running on it. She had been staring at it mindlessly for a few minutes when it suddenly changed to live news, and the sight horrified her.

Yunho was being carried to the hanging tree, the people screaming in victory as cameras flashed everywhere. They were kicking and throwing things at him, having tears of happiness and relief. Yuri's eyes widened at yunho's tortured state, him barely being able to even walk anymore. Yuri watched with teary eyes as the rope was tied tightly around his neck, the people gathered looking the happiest they had ever been.

Yuri looked to the side as she suddenly realized yeseul was watching, quickly bringing her hands to cover both yeseul's eyes and ears the same time the plank disappeared under yunho, the rope tightening ever so around his neck. Yuri shut her eyes tightly with a sob as she looked away, not wanting to watch it anymore. She could feel her heart break at the people's cheers, knowing her husband was now dead.

And so as yuri stared down at the plane window, she remembered her wish once again

"Do you know what my biggest dream is? To live in a countryside manor in Wales with you and our kids in the future. Raise our kids to be good people, live in peace and live a full life of happiness"

He had fulfilled all his promises, except the most important one. Live in a countryside manor in Wales with him, that was the one thing yuri wanted. He seemed to forget that part, the part where she wanted all this with him. He had given her everything, even a family now. But he forgot the part where she wanted this all with him.

Yuri looked to her side at yeseul's sleeping face, tears streaming down her cheeks as she cried in silence. Her husband, her sweet man, all gone from this world. And all because he wanted to fulfill her desires.

______________________________

4 months later :

The nurse carried a crying baby towards yuri who was now covered in sweat, breathing heavily as the labour pain still lingered. But as she took her son into her arms, his eyes the same as her husband's and his face having the same sharpness that yunho's once had, she felt all the pain disappear. He was just like his father.

Nurse : congratulations, mrs jung. You've given birth to a handsome, healthy baby boy. Have you decided on a name for him?

"You chose to name yeseul after my mother, yuri, not a name that was precious to you. This time I want you to name our son after a name that is precious to you and only you"

Yuri smiled at the nurse and nodded before saying

Yuri : jeong yunho.

_______________________________

28 years later :

Yeseul : eomma! I'm going to go to work early today as I have an important case in court to defend!

Yunho : oh yes, the one where you'd filed a petition to build homes for the homeless?

Yeseul paused on her tracks as she looked at her younger brother who was now dressed in a blood red suit, his blonde hair slicked back elegantly and a victorious smile on his face as yuri was busy fixing his tie with a proud smile on her face as well. Yeseul's eyes widened as she looked at the election result polls that were being shown on TV, realizing what day it was today.

Yunho : you lost the bet, noona, your little brother is now President of this nation.

Yeseul squealed in happiness as she rushed to her brother, hugging him tight as she said

Yeseul : OH MY GOD! I'M SO HAPPY I LOST THIS BET! I seriously went and prayed yesterday just to lose this bet. Ah congratulations yunho-ya, I’m so happy for you!

Yunho chuckled and hugged her back as yuri smiled at their children, their daughter now a successful lawyer who fought for the rights of the poor and their son, now elected the high president of their nation.

Both of them making the difference that her husband so wanted to bring to this world.

Yeseul paused as she looked outside their window, realizing reporters and citizens had already flooded their gates with flags.

Yeseul : oh lord, there's no way I'm making out of that alive.

Yunho smirked playfully as he said

Yunho : this is just the beginning noona, wait until I break your record of owning 3 supercars now.

Yeseul rolled her eyes as she whacked yunho’s arm before saying

Yeseul : whatever! I'm going through the backyard then.

Yeseul walked up to her mother before kissing her on the forehead as she said

Yeseul : I'll make you proud today too, eomma.

Yuri smiled widely, patting yeseul's head as she said

Yuri : you always do, seul-ie.

Yeseul smiled and turned to her brother before saying

Yeseul : and yunho-ya, congratulations. I may have lost the 20 dollar bet but you owe me a house for all that math classes I helped you study for! Torture, but it has at last borne some fruits.

Yunho smiled and nodded at his sister as she skipped out of the house, him turning to look at his mother as he asked, standing tall and proud

Yunho : how do I look, eomma?

Yuri smiled, looking at him with proud tears in her eyes as she remembered the way her husband had once looked in the same suit, his smile bright and always meant only for her.

He would’ve been so proud to see his son wearing the same suit, but instead going to make a good difference in this nation. The life that her husband wanted their son to have, he was going to have it.

Yuri : you look just like your father, yunho-ya.

Yunho smiled, knowing that was the best compliment his mother could give him. He gave his mother one last hug and smile before opening the doors to face the reporters and his new life.

Yeseul got into her Porsche as she threw her work bag to the side seat and munched on her favourite pastry, hearing the happy cheers of the people and the reporters as her younger brother stepped out to greet them as their new president. The people that cheered at her father’s death were now cheering at her brother’s success. Yeseul had heard it all despite yuri covering her ears, and she had promised then that she would do all that it took to reverse their life around.

It was what her father had died for, and she would honour that.

And so yeseul looked at the shining family ring that adorned her pinky now, her smile wide and proud as she whispered

Yeseul : this family ring now has honor to it, appa, just like you had always wanted. I've finally fulfilled your wish.

_____________________________

[mi-rae07]

Choi San : A Marriage Not Of Love (Part 3/3)

Pairing : Choi San (Ateez) and named character (Kim Sowon)

________________________

Tw//: Mentions of self-harm and blood.

_________________________

3 weeks later :

Sowon felt utterly helpless, it had been 3 weeks since she saw san. She'd asked the maids whether he'd come for meals and they had said that he would come here and there once or twice a week for an occasional breakfast, but that was all. Sowon had also asked san's assistant whether he'd come for work and she said he was even working overtime now, which explained him barely being at home.

Sowon felt guilt for what she had done, the reaction she had given san when he tried touching her arm. He was only trying to get her to eat something, and she had recoiled away from him like he was about to kill her. Now it was 3:30 am and sowon was sure san would be in his room, somewhere she hadn't dared enter after all that happened. But now she felt desperate, and so she stepped out into the hallways and walked up to his room.

She knocked on it, once or twice but there was no response. And so she let herself in, eyeing the empty room as her heart dropped, san wasn't here. She was just about to leave when she heard noises coming from the bathroom, noises that worried her. And so she opened the door to the bathroom without knocking, immediately wishing she hadn't as she saw the horrible sight in front of her.

San, covered in a pool of his own blood and tears as his arm filled with cuts kept dripping blood onto the floor. Sowon gasped in horror, her hands coming up to clasp her mouth as san looked up at her with wide teary eyes

Sowon : no…

San flinched as he dropped the bloodied razor onto the floor, standing up as he hid his arm behind him and said

San : you shouldn't be here.

Sowon felt tears in her eyes as she stared at him before asking in a broken voice

Sowon : is this because of me, san?

That one sentence was all it took for san to regret ever having taken that razor. Sowon shook her head, a sob falling from her lips as she said

Sowon : oh god, your-your arm.

San shook his head desperately, not daring to step forward worried it would scare her like it did last time. Sowon could see that hesitation in his eyes, how he kept himself from moving in order to not scare her. And sowon had gotten her answer, she had broken him.

San : this isn't your fault, none-none of this is. Please, sowon-ah don't-

Sowon : why would you do this to yourself san!

San stared at her with teary eyes, sowon's frantic eyes darting around the large bathroom as she asked

Sowon : how long…

San : sowon please-

Sowon : how long has this been going on, san.

San looked away as he said in quiet voice

San : since…since that night I came into your room asking you to eat-

San cut himself off as sowon pressed her trembling lips together, her hands now shaking as she felt immense guilt wash upon her. She had done this to the only person she loved in this world, how was she different from san then? At least he never hurt her.

San looked at her desperately, tears flowing down his eyes as he said

San : please let me come to you, please I need to hold you sowon.

San's voice broke as he asked her for permission, knowing she was scared of him. That broke sowon even more, her stepping back as she said

Sowon : you shouldn't, you shouldn't when I did this to you.

San : sowon please, you didn't do anything. This isn't your fault, nothing is please listen to me-

Sowon : then whose fault is it san!

San : mine! Mine all mine everything is my fault. I ki-I killed my mother, I deceived you into marrying someone like me for my own selfish desires, I was cruel to you, I took everything away from you and I caused you pain and harm. This is all my fault, please.

San didn't care anymore, he'd do anything to make her not hate herself. Even if it meant making her hate him, making her believe that he deserved this pain. Maybe even more than just this.

Sowon : stop-

San : no. you know this, you know I killed my own mother in cold blood when she tried sav-saving me. You know I tricked you into this loveless marriage and you know I destroyed your life and happiness by binding you to my fucked up life.

Sowon shook her head, sobs wrecking her body as everything in her screamed at her to go and hug her husband. He looked so broken, he looked as if he was hanging by a mere thread. But she couldn't, she felt too much for him, too many emotions.

San : sowon…

Sowon did not say anything more as she walked away, san sobbing as he fell back onto the floor with a gasp. He had a 100 cuts on his arm, and yet nothing compared to the pain he felt right now.

___________________________

2 days later :

Sowon was now packing her bag, putting whatever she found inexpensive into it as she prepared to leave this manor forever. She had found another job, another place where she could stay and work without bothering san. He could marry again if he willed it, but sowon wasn't going to stay anymore. She was hurting san, not just mentally but now physically too. She would rather leave than watch him slowly crumble like this.

It was pouring outside, the rain beating mercilessly against her window glass but sowon didn't care, she was going to leave. She finally pulled the suitcase towards herself before taking her umbrella, stepping out into the hallways and then down the stairs to the main door. She opened it and stepped out into the rain, opening the umbrella as she started walking towards the gate.

She didn't look back, because if she did she was sure she wouldn't be able to leave. This was the only house that had ever really belonged to her, and now it was gone.

Sowon had been halfway through the gardens when a loud voice interrupted her

??? : SOWON!

Sowon paused on her tracks with wide eyes, turning around as she saw san running up to her in the rain. He did not have an umbrella, he was drenched in the rain already.

Sowon : s-san?

San paused a few feet away from her before eyeing her suitcase, breathing heavily as he looked back at her face before saying

San : no. no, you can't.

Sowon : don't try stopping me, it won't work.

San shook his head as sowon turned around, starting to walk again. San rushed up to her, blocking her path as he stood in front of her before saying

San : please, it's raining so bad and the roads are flooded. It is dangerous for you to be walking out like this-

Sowon : I don't care, san. I'm leaving.

Sowon walked past san, making him let out an exasperated breath as he once again rushed up to her before saying

San : sowon please! Please don't do this, please don't leave me like this!

Sowon : go back inside san, and leave me alone.

San : NO!

Sowon paused on her tracks as san screamed at her, him now staring at her with pleading eyes as he said

San : I told you it wasn't your fault, then why…why are you leaving!

Sowon : because I am hurting you san! You…you self-harmed because of me-

San : I used to do it before as well, you didn't start it. I just…relapsed.

Sowon froze, her eyes widening. He had done it before? Sowon stared at san, the rain beating down on his body as he breathed heavily. San let out a shaky breath as he tore his shirt off, sowon gasping at the sight of his bare upper body. There were cuts all over it, not new ones but old healed ones that had left a scar. It looked terrible, she couldn't imagine the pain he had to go through to attain those scars.

Sowon : s-san…

San's face contorted into that of pain and frustration as he said

San : I…I just…please don’t leave. I would die without you sowon, I would…

San cut himself off as he sobbed, shaking his head as he wiped his tears with shaky hands before saying

San : I don't care if I can't touch you, I don't care if you fear me or if I have to live with that guilt for the rest of my life. I don’t care whatever happens to me I just need to keep you safe. I need to know you’re safe and doing well and I can't fucking do that if you're so far away from me.

Sowon stared at san as he said exasperatedly

San : the entire-entire time I've been trying, trying to protect you despite everything that I had to-

San cut himself off as he breathed shakily, sowon frowning as she gripped the umbrella tighter. She didn't know what to say anymore, why was san acting like this?

San : if you go away he might do something and that-I would never be able to live with myself.

Sowon : he? Who is he?

San's hand clutched his hair as he said

San : I shouldn't, I shouldn't-we shouldn't be doing this. I can't say this I've held myself back for so fucking long!

Sowon could see the way san was panicking, his eyes frantic. But she couldn't understand him, why was he still pretending? It was aggravating.

Sowon : san what is wrong with you! Why are you saying all of this when I know I mean nothing to you-

San : I FUCKING LOVE YOU KIM SOWON!

Sowon flinched at his words, her heart freezing as her eyes widened. He could never, he wouldn’t, right? He wouldn't do that to himself if he loved her, it couldn't be true.

Sowon : no. no don't you lie to me-

San sobbed in exasperation, shaking his head as he said

San : I love you, I have always loved you and I will always…always-

San cut himself off as he cried and fell to his knees, realizing that he'd said the one thing he had tried so hard not to say the past few years. He had finally given up, his walls crashing down.

San : I'm so sorry, sowon. Oh I'm so sorry I have no idea what to do…

San sobbed as he covered his face with his hands, his body shaking against the rain as sowon felt tears fill her eyes once again. All this while, all this while he had loved her?

Sowon : you…you told me you didn't san.

San : soohyun…hyung he threatened to kill you if I ever loved you.

San couldn't believe he was finally saying it to her, but he couldn't anymore. He couldn't handle it anymore.

Sowon : what?

San : I…sowon when I was young…someone kidnapped me and lock-locked me in a basement. For a month I was there, I was starved, tortured. It was so…so dark and scary I had no idea and…and then-and then my mother she-

San cut himself off with a sob as he tried to breathe against his tears, failing miserably as he continued in a shaky voice

San : someone suddenly opened the door and stepped in they-they were wearing a mask and I thought it was my captor. So I just…I took the knife lying next to me and stabbed them. I didn't know…I didn't know it was my mother until she-she…

San cried as sowon dropped both her suitcase and the umbrella to the floor, rushing up to san and falling on the floor as she wrapped her arms around his weak body. San shook his head she he tried pushing her away before saying

San : don't, you shouldn't-

Sowon : san, please!

San sobbed, weakly trying to fight against her hold on him as he said

San : no. no no you-

Sowon cut him off as she held his face in her hands, staring into it as sowon said

Sowon : san, let me hold you for once please. You've done so much…so much for me let me at least hold you.

San cried at her words, his trembling hands struggling to grasp hers as he said

San : but hyung wants to…take revenge. He told me that he would kill whichever woman I loved and so I…so I had to pretend-

San cut himself off as sowon placed her hand against the back of his neck, bringing his face to her chest and wrapping her arms around his trembling body as she said

Sowon : I'm so sorry, san-ah. I'm so sorry I had no idea, oh god.

Sowon felt her heart break at how miserable san had been, how miserable he had let it be just so he could protect her. He had brought hell upon himself just so she could live, just so she could be happy and she had no idea and had hurt him even more.

San clutched sowon's shirt in his hands, crying against her chest as he said

San : I'm sc-scared sowon, I'm scared he'll find out someday and kill you. I couldn't bear it, I couldn't bear seeing you hurt let alone die.

Sowon rubbed her hand along san's back as she whispered with tears in her eyes

Sowon : I won't die san, I'll be right here. He won't do anything to me.

Sowon looked at san's arm as she realized he hadn't bandaged it up properly, the blood soaking through his white shirt because of the rain beating against it. He must be in so much pain. Sowon was just about to cover it up with her umbrella when san brought his palm to the top of her head, shielding her head from the rain as he said weakly

San : you'll catch a cold.

Sowon shut her eyes as tears streamed down them, feeling like she wanted to hide san somewhere and never let anything happen to him. She hated herself for all that she had said to him, everything that had hurt him.

Sowon : you're hurt san, stop caring about whether I'd catch a cold when you're bleeding.

She held san's hand that was on top of her head before bringing it down, kissing it as she said

Sowon : you-you don't deserve to be hurt like this san, you haven't done anything to be punishing yourself like this.

San : I killed my mother-

Sowon : that was an accident.

San : I destroyed your life sowon-

Sowon : you were just trying to protect me, san.

San looked up at sowon with his broken teary eyes as he asked

San : why are you being so understanding?

Sowon : when you love someone you try your best to understand their actions, san. Do you not ever try to understand me? The wrongs that I have done-

San : you have never done anything wrong, you never can.

Sowon shook her head as she rested her head on top of san's, her arms wrapped tight around san's figure as she rocked him back and forth just the way he had done when she was sick. That had felt like a dream to her, too good to be true. And she'd thought it was, because there was no way san could take care of her like that.

But now she realized he'd been doing it his entire life.

San wrapped his arm around sowon's waist as he buried his head further into her chest before saying

San : I'm so sorry I hurt you, sowon. I should've done better I'm so sorry.

Sowon : don’t you dare, don't you dare apologize san. You've always only done your best.

Sowon pulled back slightly as she looked at her cracked wedding ring that hung by a necklace around san’s neck, her touching it as she asked

Sowon : this…you-

San : I didn’t want to lose it.

Sowon looked at san with teary eyes as she took the wedding ring from the necklace, putting it back onto her ring finger as she said

Sowon : I will never take it off again, I promise. I will forever belong to you, san.

San sniffled as sowon hugged him tighter before whispering

Sowon : I love you, san.

Sowon kissed the side of san's head as she closed her eyes and said

Sowon : we'll figure a way out of this, together, you and me.

And for the first time in his life san had had someone to share his burdens, someone who could hold him when he broke. Someone he could turn to without being afraid of hurting them.

San : I love you too.

And this time he had meant it, like he had every single time. The only difference was that sowon felt the love in his voice for the first time. And god knew she would do anything to protect it.

___________________________

Sowon was now bandaging san's arm as he played with her fingers, the both of them still drenched from the rain. But the fire crackling gave the room warmth, and for now that was enough.

San : your ring it's…it's cracked.

Sowon paused, staring at it as she remembered throwing it at san and the way he'd looked at her with pain when she'd done that. Sowon felt guilt wash over her once again as she said

Sowon : I'm so sorry-

San : no won-ah, I was just saying that it's cracked, so I'll buy a new one for you. A better one even.

Sowon looked up at san as she shook her head and said

Sowon : nothing will be better than this, because this was the ring you put on me on our wedding day. It might have been just a wedding for everyone else but for me, san, it was the best day of my life. I had been no one's my entire life, no parents, no siblings nothing. But that day, I got you, I finally had someone, a family I could come back to. This ring is a promise of that. I don't care if it's cracked or broken, it still means the same to me.

San stared at sowon with teary eyes as she said

Sowon : please don’t take that away from me.

San shook his head, holding her hand in his as he said

San : never, I'm sorry I even asked. The ring is yours-

Sowon : ours.

San gave sowon a small smile as he said

San : ours.

Sowon nodded as she started putting the final bandage around san's arm, her eyes focused. San stared at her, her blonde locks damp and sticking against her forehead as the fire cast a beautiful glow on her bronze skin. She was beautiful, she has always been so beautiful to him and yet he'd hurt her. When all she wanted was a family, he'd hurt her.

San : won-ah I'm sorry.

Sowon : you don’t have to-

San : no let me say it. For three years I…you had to suffer because of me. Every time I pushed you away instead of holding you close, saying cruel things to you when I should've praised you every single second, slamming the door in your face when I should've kissed you, I'm so sorry sowon. I've never been a husband to you but you've always been a wife to me.

Sowon kept the bandages away as she looked at san, him looking elsewhere as he whispered

San : I'm so sorry.

Sowon's eyes softened as she laid her hand against san's damp cheek, him leaning against it as sowon said

Sowon : do you remember what you told me when we first met?

He had told her many things when he first met her, it was when he could speak openly without being afraid of soohyun. He had disappeared for a year before he came back and threatened san.

Sowon : you told me that I reminded you of sunflowers, because they were almost the same shade as my eyes. And every year, on my birthday you had the gardeners plant sunflowers in the main garden. But you never let them water it, you thought I hadn't seen it but every day after you come back from work I'd see you watering those sunflowers yourself, no matter how tired you were.

San pressed his lips together, he had held himself back from celebrating sowon's birthday because then the maids in the house would inform that to soohyun. He had no other choice except pretend to forget her birthday.

San : you told me they were your favorite flowers as well right after.

Sowon smiled as she nodded

Sowon : I never complained about you missing my birthday because I noticed this about the sunflowers, even though you slammed the door in my face and hurt me you always took care of those sunflowers. You never let any of them wither away, that was enough proof for me that you loved me at least a little bit, san. It was the only hope I had, no matter how pathetic it was.

San : sowon.

Sowon : and on our fifth date, I told you my favorite color was golden. Two years later, on our first wedding anniversary you repainted this entire manor golden, had them drape golden curtains, buy golden headboards for the beds. Even though you told me it was for a party I liked to think it was because it was my favorite color.

San smiled as he said

San : it was because you liked golden. I would never have done it otherwise, I hated golden before you. Too bright.

Sowon chuckled as she sat up on the bed next to san before saying

Sowon : and this…

Sowon touched san's ear piercing before saying

Sowon : was this because I told you I liked men with their ears pierced? This even goes against your company protocols too, doesn't it?

San's grandfather hated men with piercings, he thought it was feminine and never allowed anyone to do it. San had fought with him to get this on their second wedding anniversary. San scoffed as he said

San : do you notice everything, kim sowon?

Sowon : why else do you think I stayed this long sannie? Actions speak louder than words anyway.

Sowon held san's hand in hers as she said

Sowon : you've done so much for me, san. So much without telling me or asking me. That is enough of an apology for me choi san.

San rested his forehead against sowon's shoulder as he whispered

San : so you…you're not angry at me anymore?

Sowon : if you'd just told me the whole truth I never would've been angry at you in the first place. I am still annoyed that you didn't tell me the truth but after hearing what had happened to you in the past, with your mother, I can't stay angry at you anymore.

San let out a sigh in relief as he said

San : thank you.

Sowon smiled as she runs her hand through san's hair, making him close his eyes as they sat like that for a few minutes.

San : won-ah?

Sowon : mhmm?

San : I love you.

Sowon paused as he said those words, that being the first time san ever told her 'I love you' instead of an 'I love you too'. She looked at him, his red eyes staring back at her as a small smile spread on his lips. Looking into his eyes sowon knew he had meant those three words with every fiber of his being, and she felt sudden joy erupt in her heart.

Sowon leaned forward, kissing san as his eyes widened. It had been a while since they kissed, although they had been married for three years it never got to this stage. San supposed tonight was different.

He tangled his hand in her hair as san brought sowon closer to him, tilting his head as he kissed her back passionately. He felt sowon get on his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck as she whispered through the kiss

Sowon : I love you too.

And that night sowon kissed san's scars that he had always considered ugly, sowon making it seem like it were the most beautiful thing on earth. She had healed his wounds, san knowing it would still scar. But he didn't care, because sowon had healed them.

San kissed her again and again, finally showing her all love he had wanted to for so long, he told her how much she meant to him, how much he loved her and would protect her until the moment he took his last breath.

And that was the day when a marriage not of love, turned into one of love and comfort. Their vows were finally fulfilled.

______________________________

[mi-rae07]

Choi San : A Marriage Not Of Love (Part 2/3)

Pairing : Choi San (Ateez) and named character (Kim Sowon)

________________________

Tw//: mentions of self harm

_________________________

A/n : angst might be slightly lesser here but the final part will have enough and more.

__________________________

Sowon hummed as she felt herself slowly wake, opening her eyes and looking around as she realized she was back in hers and san's room, her entire body covered with silk blankets. The time seemed to be 5pm, she had been asleep for hours.

San : how do you feel right now?

Sowon flinched as she realized san was sitting next to her on a chair, a book held loosely in his left hand as he stared at her

Sowon : you…you haven't gone to work yet?

San : work can wait, you're more important.

Sowon didn't believe that from him.

Sowon : well now I am awake so you can go.

San : it's 5pm, do you really want me to go to work just for an hour or two sowon?

Sowon sighed, looking away as she said

Sowon : you didn’t have to miss work because of me.

San : you're my wife-

Sowon : in theory.

San paused as sowon sat up straight, feeling much better than she had before. She looked to the bedside table as she noticed bottles of fever medicines on it, san had fed her medicines while she was asleep.

Sowon : you don't have to pretend anymore.

San paused, staring at sowon and her cut off eyes. It had finally happened, she had gotten tired of trying.

Sowon : I know you do not love me, you never have, it was just all pretend. Was it not, san?

She needed that last confirmation, and san had his chance to tell her everything now, the whole truth. And he wanted to, he wanted to tell her so bad. But these were his burdens, he wouldn’t endanger sowon like that. And so san looked away as he said coldly

San : yes.

Sowon nodded, her face not showing even an ounce of emotion as she got up from the bed before saying

Sowon : then we will live like that from now, just pretend when there are people around and forget about each other when no one's watching.

San's eyes widened, not expecting her to say this. He had expected her to divorce him, and he had thought he would have to find a way to make his grandfather agree to still leaving the company with him because san wasn't planning to marry another woman.

San : you…you're not going to divorce me?

Sowon scoffed as she said

Sowon : have you forgotten that I'm an orphan, san? If I divorce you where exactly will I go? Consider this as me taking advantage of your resources, just as you have taken advantage of mine. I do not know your reasons for this marriage but I don't think I want to know anymore either.

Sowon turned around and walked towards the door as she said

Sowon : we'll start by sleeping separately from now.

_______________________________

2 weeks later :

And just like that san's entire life had changed, he barely even got to see his wife anymore. She changed her meal timings so san wouldn't see her during dinner or breakfast anymore, she wouldn't step inside his room either and got all her things shifted to a separate room. San couldn't sleep a wink as he stared around at the empty room, realizing that he actually had nothing to fill the room with, it had been all hers. Her scent still lingered in the pillows and san never let the maids wash it.

He couldn't even properly work anymore because he kept thinking of her, whether she was doing fine or eating her meals on time. He was worried, but he couldn't show it. Soohyun had his bugs all over san's manor, san knew half the maids worked for soohyun and kept an eye on san and sowon. It was the whole reason san kept being rude to her even in their own house and rooms, he couldn't let soohyun know this was anything more than a loveless arranged marriage.

??? : san.

San flinched as he looked up from his study table, realizing sowon had stepped into his study quietly while he was in his thoughts. San stood up from his seat, eyeing sowon to see if she was completely alright. He only got to see her at rare occasions and this was one of them.

San : is something wrong?

Sowon : you can sit down, it's not a great matter.

San did not sit. Sowon sighed as she said

Sowon : there's a party tomorrow evening, at yena's house. I just got the invitation.

Sowon placed the invitation on san's table as he stared at it with blank eyes before saying

San : we don’t have to go if you don't want to-

Sowon : we are going, your brother is going to be there.

San's breath hitched in his throat, his brother rarely attended the same parties as san. Their circles were entirely different, and he had no idea soohyun was associated with yena.

San : what? Why-

Sowon : didn't you read the invitation card san, yena's sister is getting engaged to soohyun next week. This is a before party.

_______________________________

Sowon looked around the grand party hall as her arm was coiled around san's, the both of them walking together to wherever san led her. Neither of them had uttered a word in the car about anything, so she just let san take the lead. He was the one that did the business anyway. They had just finished talking to some business partners when a voice cut through them

Yena : san-ah!

Sowon looked forward as she saw yena rushing up to them with a wide smile, immediately hugging san as sowon let go of her hold on san's arm and stepped aside slightly. She hated seeing yena at all, but she did not let it show on her face as she smiled at yena. Yena eyed sowon with annoyed eyes before saying

Yena : oh you're here too.

San : she is my wife, why wouldn't she be here?

Yena rolled her eyes at san playfully before saying with a sarcastic chuckle

Yena : we all know it's just arranged.

San frowned and was about to say something when another voice interrupted them, this time a low-pitched male voice

??? : ah, the star couple!

San froze as soohyun stepped forward, looking over at sowon as he took her hand and kissed it with a wide smile. Sowon smiled as well, unaware of soohyun's actual motives as she said

Sowon : soohyun-shi, it's been a while since we saw you. I've been asking you to visit our house for so long, you never come.

Soohyun chuckled almost innocently as he said

Soohyun : I've been quite busy you see, what with my lovely to-be-fiancé and all that.

Soohyun finally turned his attention to san as he eyed him as well before holding his hand out for san to shake. San shook it with a blank face, making yena chuckle as she once again laid her palm against san's shoulder before saying

Yena : sannie has always been a bit of a cold person.

San's eyes turned sharp as he looked at yena and said

San : I have told you not to call me that, yena.

Yena smiled a sickly sweet smile that made sowon want to throw up, soohyun looking like he was thoroughly enjoying the scene. Sowon looked around as she noticed the people were eyeing san and yena as well, some of them whispering softly with each other. Sowon suddenly felt little, like she wasn't supposed to be here. She let out a breath before saying

Sowon : I'll need to use the ladies room quick, please excuse me.

Sowon gave the three of them one last smile before walking to the restroom, her purse clutched tight in her hand.

__________________________________

It had been an hour since sowon had shut herself in one of the bathroom cubicles and she supposed it was high time she stepped out into the party now, not that her absence would cause anyone worry but even then. And so sowon stepped out of the ladies room, walking around as she tried to find san somewhere. She had just turned to a secluded corner space when she felt someone grab her arm and pull her to a side.

Sowon : soohyun-shi?

Soohyun : finally I've gotten you without having my brother loom all over you.

Sowon frowned, looking up at soohyun as she asked

Sowon : what?

Soohyun : he doesn't love you, does he? He's arranged this entire marriage for his own benefit, to steal that company from me.

I frowned, confused. I didn't know why he was telling me all this now.

Soohyun : but then again, he's always been like this. Selfish and cruel for his own needs, there's something he has been hiding from you as well. I'm the only person who knows it but now I suppose you should too.

Sowon felt her heart race at his words, she always knew there was something that san hid from her. And san had always been hostile to his brother, now she supposed she would know why.

Sowon : and what…is that?

Soohyun chuckled as he leaned closer to her before whispering

Soohyun : he killed his own mother, our, mother. He stabbed her to death while she was trying to save him.

Sowon's eyes widened, her heart dropping at his words. No…no this couldn't be true. San was cruel to her but he never harmed her physically, he couldn't have killed his own mother.

Soohyun : you must not believe me, and I don’t blame you for it. But think about it, why would I need to lie about something like this? To break you marriage? But that's already broken, isn't it?

Sowon let out a shaky breath as she realized soohyun was right, there was no need for him to lie about this. And this fact explained many things about san.

Soohyun : I suggest you to leave that man and run while you still can, sowon. He is dangerous, deadly.

Sowon was about to say something when soohyun looked past her, eyeing someone behind her. Sowon turned as well as she saw san walking up to them with a cold face, both his hands tucked into his pocket as he said to soohyun

San : done with your conversation with my wife, brother?

Soohyun smiled sweetly as he said

Soohyun : of course, you can have her now.

Saying that soohyun walked away, leaving a shaken sowon behind. She watched as san approach her, her heart racing with a new emotion. Fear. Something she'd never felt for san before but now seeing the way his eyes looked, his shoulders straight and pulled back, he looked every bit of the murderer soohyun said he was.

As san tried to step closer sowon stepped back, not looking at him. San noticed it, the new fear in her for him.

San : sowon?

Sowon : did you kill her?

San froze, his face going pale.

San : wh-what?

San had never stuttered, and that was an answer for sowon in itself. But even then she continued, her voice shaky from the tears as she looked up at san

Sowon : did you kill your mother, san?

San stared at her with wide eyes, finally betraying emotions on his face. It all seemed to flood onto him at once, as if sowon had stabbed him herself.

San : did…did he tell you that?

Sowon : he told me you were selfish and cruel, and that you killed your mother by stabbing her when she tried saving you. He asked me to run away from you, san.

San let out a shaky breath, looking like he was about to fall onto his knees any second.

Sowon : you killed her, didn't you? You killed the person that gave birth to you and raised you.

San felt his body tremble, his hands clenching inside his suit pocket. The fear in sowon's eyes broke him apart. Her hate, he could manage. But fear, fear he could never. It would destroy him.

San : so-sowon please. I just-

Sowon : if you killed your mother who is to say you won’t kill your wife, san? I…I slept with a cold-blooded murderer for years without realizing. I trusted you, I loved a bloody murderer.

San felt his heart break at her words, tears filling his eyes for the first time in years. He had pushed this all away, he had told himself that as long as sowon loved him nothing else mattered. But now she had called him a murderer too, and san no longer felt the need to live.

Sowon took the wedding ring that adorned her ring finger as she threw it at san, tears streaming down her cheeks as she said

Sowon : I would rather stay an orphan than have a husband that killed his own mother, I would rather die than belong to a murderer, a monster.

San stared at the wedding ring that felt to his feet, the diamond in it cracking as sowon said

Sowon : I am no longer your wife, choi san.

Sowon turned around and left, leaving a broken san behind. He felt to the floor, clutching sowon's cracked wedding ring in his hand as he sobbed pathetically. He had lost everything, everything.

Soohyun had done worse than what he'd say he would do.

___________________________________

When san had come back to the manor hours later, drenched in cold and snow he'd expected the maids to tell him that sowon had left, her things all packed. But instead they'd told him that she had locked herself up in her room, no sounds to be heard. And so san had walked up to her room, knocking on her door as he said

San : please open the door, please.

San felt his voice break from how much he had cried, tears still streaming down his cheeks as he shivered in the cold. But he didn't bother, sowon had shivered in cold too once, all because of him.

San once again knocked on the door, his libs trembling as he said

San : let me-let me explain sowon, please just let me…

San let out a painful sob as he slid down the door, falling on his knees as he rested his head against the door

San : I didn't mean to do it, I didn't know it was her, please. I would never have done…never have done anything to hurt her. Or you-I would never hurt you sowon.

Sowon shut her eyes tightly from the other side of the door as she heard san's broken pleas and cries, his sobs breaking her apart. He had never cried in front of her, not even when his dad had passed away. Now hearing how broken he was sowon wanted to go and hug him.

But he was a murderer, sowon remembered. He had murdered his mother in cold blood no matter his excuses, and she was scared he'd do the same with her. These cries could be fake, it could be to lure her out and weaken her.

She wasn't going to fall.

San felt his breathing get shallow as he weakly banged against the door, his hands cold and shivering. He could've just gone to the fire burning in his room, all warm and cozy for him. There was no need for him to be lying in this cold, dark hallway. But sowon was on the other side of this door, he couldn't leave.

Not even when the coldness and darkness around him reminded him of the month he had spent locked up in that basement, being starved and tortured would he leave her. He had felt the same way then, abandoned and misunderstood. But this…this was worse than that.

No one was locking him up or starving and torturing him here, but sowon was scared of him. She was sitting on the other side of the door, her love for him slowly cracking away and the fear for him rising. He felt worse than he had back then, he felt like he was getting stabbed in the heart again and again.

San cried again, feeling his body get weak as he fell onto the floor with a low thud. He could barely speak anymore, his throat burning. But even then he called out her name again and again desperately, wishing she would open the door and take him in her arms.

She didn’t, and san supposed she wouldn't again for a long, long time.

________________________________

The next day san opened his eyes, feeling like he was about to pass out again from the pain covering his body. He felt cold and hot at the same time, his eyes puffy and blurry. But despite that he sat up, looking at the door in front of him. It was still locked, sowon hadn't stepped out of her room.

San stood up wobblily as held onto the wall for support, looking at the time in the hallway clock. 11am, 2 hours past breakfast and 2 hours before lunchtime. San had work, and he supposed that maybe if he left for work sowon would come out and have her meals without being scared of his presence. As much as it hurt san, he knew it was the truth.

And just like that, despite feeling like he was about to die he left for work, just so sowon could eat.

____________________________________

??? : boss, there's someone who's come to see you.

San didn't bother looking up from his papers, half because he was sick and half because he couldn't bother enough to use the little energy he had left.

San : I don't have any appointments today.

??? : yes, sir but this is your brother.

San paused, still not looking up from his papers. Before he could say anything more the door opened again as a cheery voice cut through the air

Soohyun : my dear younger brother!

San shut his eyes, the assistant stepping outside and closing the door as she left san and soohyun alone. San watched as soohyun happily plopped down on the seat opposite san as he said

Soohyun : oh you look like a disaster, did she yell at you?

San : why would I care if she yelled at me? I do not love her and neither do I care.

A whole lie. Soohyun shrugged as he said

Soohyun : well that is true.

San had been excellent at hiding his love, so much to the point that even sowon didn't know about it. Soohyun was no exception.

San : then why did you tell her? Why yesterday night?

Soohyun : it was our mother’s birthday yesterday. Consider it as my gift for her. Plus! It was fun.

San paused, trying his best to conceal his emotions as he asked

San : and why are you here now, to torture me again? Remind me of the fact that I killed our mother?

Soohyun : I was just here to have fun at your horrible state, see how the seed I planted has grown.

San : what else did you tell her? Did you tell her that you thought I also tried to poison our mother when I was 12?

Soohyun gasped as he said

Soohyun : oh no! whatever will I do, I completely forgot about that. Don't worry, you can tell her that yourself.

Soohyun chuckled as he leaned forward and ruffled san's hair before standing up

Soohyun : you don't deserve even an ounce of happiness after all that you've done, san. I hope you don't forget that, not like anyone would ever give someone like you happiness but you know.

Soohyun turned around and left just like that, leaving san alone in his office room. He let out a breath, letting his head drop into his hands.

____________________________________

Sowon felt utterly alone and exasperated, she had no idea what to think. She stared at her empty ring finger as she remembered the look on san's face when she'd thrown that at him and it had cracked, she'd never seen anyone look so broken before. And then she remembered him banging on the door, begging her to open it as he cried. She'd never seen him cry, never seen anyone cry so desperately and yet she hadn't opened the door. How could she?

Sowon flinched as she felt someone bang the door again, san's loud voice cutting through the silent room

San : you haven't eaten.

Sowon looked away from the door, clenching her hands as san banged the door again

San : you have to eat something sowon, come out!

Sowon didn't want to come out of her room when san was outside, she was scared.

San : sowon, either you come out or I open this door myself.

Sowon did not move from her place. And to her utter horror, a minute later san had opened the door to her room with his spare keys, stepping inside and staring right at her.

San : I went to work today despite feeling like dying just so you'd come out and have your meals. And then the maids tell me you still haven't had anything, are you crazy?

Sowon stared at san in part fear, wondering whether he'd harm her for not having had her meals and causing him anger.

San : sowon go to the dining hall and have you dinner, right now.

Sowon shook her head as she looked away, she was not hungry. San glared at her as he stepped forward, trying to hold her arm in order to get her to come with him.

He was just trying to get her to eat, but all sowon could see was the anger in san’s eyes, his hands coming to grab hers. She felt fear engulf her as sowon quickly moved away from him, her hands coming up to shield herself as she said in fear

Sowon : please don’t hurt me please! I'll eat, I…

Sowon breathed heavily as she curled her legs towards herself to protect herself, san's eyes widening as he stepped back in horror. He had just touched her arm…and she'd thought he was going to hurt her. She was scared of him, like he was some sort of a monster. Her small cries and whimpers were proof.

Sowon looked up with teary eyes as she watched san stumble back, his eyes wide and teary as he recoiled. And suddenly sowon felt her heart drop as she realized what she'd done, she had backed away from san like he was some otherworldly being.

Sowon : san.

Sowon quickly got up from her bed as she rushed to san, trying to hold his arm. But he snatched it back, staring at her with teary eyes as she said

Sowon : no I didn’t…I just wasn’t-

San : you…you thought I was going to hurt you.

San’s voice sounded desperate, broken beyond repair. He looked like she had just stabbed him. Sowon’s eyes softened at that as she said

Sowon : no I just…I-your mother-

San flinched as sowon realised that was the wrong thing to say given the situation, making her shake her head as she said in a hurry, trying to reach out for him again

Sowon : oh no, san-

Sowon cut herself off as san rushed out of her room, not letting her say anything more.

_____________________________________

San rushed into his bathroom, falling onto the floor with a sob as he brought his palms to his face. He tried muffling his sobs, feeling pathetic as his body shivered from the cold yet again. He hated himself, oh he had never hated himself so much before.

San looked up as he saw the razor blade sitting on the top of his sink, one he had used to shave a few days before. He felt himself grabbing it as he plucked the blade out, the force causing his finger skin to tear as blood oozed out. San let out a shaky sob as he pulled his sleeves up, staring down at the old cut marks on his arm. It had been years since he'd done this, but now he felt himself slowly relapsing, wanting to feel the pain again.

Anything, anything to stop the pain he was feeling in his heart.

And so san used the blade to cut through his arm, once again opening up the old and healed self harm cuts as blood dripped down onto the marble floor. He did not stop at just one cut, he cut his skin again and again, the pain seeping through his entire body as he felt his mind go numb.

This, this was what he wanted. His mind to go numb, and if hurting himself was what it took to make that happen, then so be it.

With another sob san cut his arm again, this time the blade going even deeper as san let out a groan in pain.

Nothing was as sharp and deep as sowon's words anyway.

_____________________________________

[mi-rae07]

Choi San : A Marriage Not Of Love (Part 1/3)

Pairing : Choi San (Ateez) and named character (Kim So-won)

____________________

Synopsis : San's grandfather had arranged his marriage with Sowon in order to hand their family company down to san, but sowon had fallen in love with him immediately. San had not, but knowing sowon would not marry otherwise he had pretended to love her. And so they got married, sowon truly wanting to devote her life to san and him pretending his smiles, love and care for his now wife.

But now that pretend facade is breaking down, and sowon is now aware of the fact that san does not really love her. But she loves him too much to leave, despite him being cruel and cold she still cannot bring herself to abandon the only man she has ever loved.

But will that crack too? Especially when san has a darker secret and past?

_______________________

A/n : the classic but I thought I should give it a small chance.

________________________

The very first time san met Kim Sowon he knew she was the one. She was perfect, she touched his hand and caressed his face and he felt nothing. Right then and there he knew that she'd be perfect in a marriage with him, he would never be manipulated by her. He would never feel vulnerable, because he didn't love her. In fact, he felt nothing for sowon.

Sowon meanwhile had knew san was the one she'd wanted her entire life, because in the beginning he was perfect. He had touched her arms, held her in his warm embrace and she'd felt everything. The corny sparks, the butterflies, everything. His words were so perfect, his actions all to the point. So when he'd proposed her marriage, she'd agreed immediately. Their marriage had been 3 years ago and it was perfect, so was their honeymoon.

Until he had to cut the 2 month honeymoon off midway because he had some important work suddenly back in the country. But he'd made up for that. Until it kept happening regularly, and he kept getting worse and worse.

It had been a year since then and sowon was now sitting up in her bed at night, having had a nightmare as she breathed heavily. San frowned as he woke up from his sleep as well, sitting up straight as he looked at his wife

San : what's wrong?

Not that san cared, but he supposed he had to pretend so she doesn't break this marriage off. It was important for him to stay married in order to continue as the chairman of the company, his grandfather believed in familial values and believed that if a man couldn't handle his own family and his own wife, love her and make her stay, then he definitely couldn't handle a company.

Sowon : you…you know that you're my husband right?

San chuckled, his hand sliding down her arm and back up again as he said

San : yes, my lovely wife, I am well aware that I am your husband. Did you wake me up in the middle of the night to remind me of our marriage?

Sowon shook her head as she said lowly

Sowon : your friend yena told me that you had gone out for coffee with her the day before yesterday.

It was all yena had been boasting about during some party, as if san were her husband and not sowon's.

San : I did, yes. Is something wrong with that, she's my friend.

Sowon : but san-ah you know I dislike her.

San raised his eyebrows as he said, his tone now defensive

San : are you asking me to stop being friends with someone just because you dislike them, is that it? That sounds rather controlling, don't you think?

Sowon looked at san as she said

Sowon : I just don't think her intentions with you are well.

San : and what exactly do you think her intentions with me are, sowon?

Sowon looked away, shaking her head as she decided not to have this conversation. After all san was right, she was being controlling. San never told her what friends to have and not have.

Sowon : will you go out for tea with me tomorrow, then?

San frowned at the sudden question, he wanted to say no but he knew he couldn't. and so he laid back against the bed before saying

San : of course I will. Whenever you ask, I'll be there. But just know, the tea is on you.

Sowon smiled as she laid back on san's arms, wrapping her own around his waist before saying

Sowon : I love you, san.

San hated this part the most, the part where she sounded so genuine with her love for him. Like she could do anything for him, when he was just deceiving her for his own benefits. But even so he wrapped his arm around her even though there was no warmth or affection to it, and sowon could feel it. As she had for the past year, she was no fool.

San : I love you too.

Sowon shut her eyes as she realized there was no meaning behind that sentence for him, just words he knew he had to say to make her stay with him.

______________________________

It had been 3 hours since sowon was sitting in the café, waiting for san to appear. The waitresses had come and gone, asking her if she was ready to order or leave. She’d ordered some water, if that was even an actual order and waited. Now she just growing embarrassed and angry. Just then she felt the door opening, san stepping in as if he was just on time.

As he saw her sitting at the corner table he smiled, walking towards her and sitting down before saying nonchalantly

San : have you ordered something?

Sowon : where have you been?

San : work, doing my own things.

San's body language screamed the fact that he did not want to be here although his words differed, and sowon hated it. She looked down at her empty plate as she said

Sowon : I've been waiting 3 hours.

San : and? I told you I was busy, I'm here right now though aren't I?

Sowon : you could've at least texted me that you'd be hours late.

San : I didn't have the time.

At this point san wasn't even pretending to care, he clearly looked as if he didn't want to be here and had better things to do.

Sowon : san you love me, don't you?

San : yes, of course I love you.

So emotionless, so cold and distant.

Sowon : then why…why do you not act like it?

Sowon's voice was now shaky from tears, and san didn't seem to care one bit. He just stared at her for a while before saying in a cool tone

San : I treat you well, don't I? I care for you, I protect you, I make sure you have everything you want and need.

He said all this but he had no love in his tone, his voice annoyed and impatient.

Sowon : what I want and need is you, san. I don't want all this money and these stupid dresses. I want you, I want my husband.

San : and you have me. I'm here, aren't I?

His voice was cold, but he kept that smile that looked practiced and unnatural. And seeing that made tears stream down sowon's cheeks, her lips trembling as she pressed them together. San huffed as he said

San : are you finished or are you going to keep complaining some more?

Sowon shook her head before wiping her tears away with her shaky hands

Sowon : I can see you don't want me here, so you don't have to force yourself. I'm leaving, and I'm sorry.

Sowon turned to leave, hoping san would stop her. But even as she walked outside the café he did not stop her, as if he was happy she'd left. And so as she rushed to her house she felt sobs spilling out her lips, the people around looking at her in confusion.

But she didn’t care, the person she wanted to look at her couldn't bother to even sit with her for fifteen minutes.

____________________________

Sowon was now sitting in their bed, san silently reading a book next to her on the bed with his back rested against the headboard. Sowon had waited for san to say something when he came back after what happened today afternoon, maybe an apology or an explanation as to why right after sowon had left and walked a few distance, she had seen san walking along with another lady to some shop. It had hurt sowon more than she could imagine, considering that this lady seemed to get san’s attention and time more than she did.

Sowon : did you have fun with that lady after I was gone from the café?

San looked up from his book with a frown, he hadn’t realised she’d seen that.

San : yes we went out to a shop to buy somethings, why? I didn’t think you’d care.

Sowon scoffed as she said

Sowon : of course, in your books a wife would not care about her husband going out and having fun with another lady when he can't even meet the wife in her eyes.

San rolled his eyes before looking back at his book as he said

San : can you stop being jealous of every other lady I talk to? Besides Oh Mina is a co-worker, we went out to choose an appropriate dress for the coming party. You're being paranoid.

Sowon : I'm being paranoid? This is called as loving someone, san. I agreed to marry you for the same reason, and I had thought you did too. Did you marry me because you loved me or because you just had to, san?

San : of course I married you because I loved you, because I cared for you. I married you because you mean so much to me, sowon.

And yet he wasn't looking at her, his words so cold and distant.

Sowon : your words…they all sound so empty.

San raised his eyebrows, getting annoyed at her words as he asked

San : are you trying to say that my loving words mean nothing? Accusing me of lying now, are you?

Sowon sighed, looking away as she said in a low tone

Sowon : you just use words, san, you never show your love to me. Ever.

San let out a tired breath as he said

San : can we not have this conversation right now? It's late and I'm tired. You're just thinking too much, sowon. We don't always need to be all over each other and expressing our love. We're married, and that's all that matters.

San kept his book away as he laid back down on the bed with a sigh before looking at sowon who was just staring at him with hurt eyes silently

San : stop with the puppy eyes, please. We're married and this is normal. The lovey-dovey, all over each other phase was just in the start of the relationship, the honeymoon phase.

Sowon chuckled sarcastically as she said

Sowon : we never even had a proper honeymoon phase, did we san? You cut it off half way through because you had important work, apparently.

San : and what about it? Isn't the fact that I had work to do a good enough excuse? You're acting as if I cut it off just to avoid being around you.

Sowon : you do avoid being around me.

Sowon's voice was low, her eyes drooped as san huffed and rolled his eyes again before saying

San : I avoid being around you now because you're just plain annoying. You're the whole reason why I don't even come up to the room until it's late at night. What's the point of sleeping in the same bed as someone who keeps complaining about you the entire night.

Sowon felt her heart break at his words as she felt tears threatening to spill, but she wouldn't let it. And so she stood up and grabbed a pillow before saying

Sowon : then don't, I'll sleep somewhere else.

Sowon turned to walk towards the door as san said nonchalantly

San : go ahead, sleep in the guest room if you want to. It's not as if I care about where you sleep anyway.

Sowon shut the door as she climbed up the stairs to the terrace, her body shaking from the tears as she cried. She didn't know why she was still staying in this marriage when san clearly didn't love her. She should be divorcing him, ruining his life, but she just couldn't. She was too weak.

Sowon opened the door to the terrace before stepping in, going over to the corner as she put the pillow on the floor before laying down as well. It was in the middle of December and there was snow falling all around her, it was freezing cold and she was only wearing a sheer silk night dress. But sowon supposed the terrible cold might distract her from the pain she was feeling.

It didn't, especially considering the fact that today had been her birthday and that being the reason why she'd wanted to go for tea with her husband. But not only had they not gone, he even said hurtful words to her and now she was sleeping in the terrace, shivering with cold already.

Sowon shut her eyes as tears streaked down them, small weak sobs falling from her lips. It wasn't like anyone would care to hear them anyway.

_____________________________

San had been eating his breakfast alone the next morning when he saw sowon entering the dining table with a shawl wrapped around her shoulders, her entire body shivering and looking like it was about to pass out any minute. San frowned as he realized she was terribly ill, and she was still here.

San : you should be in bed, what are you doing here?

Sowon let out a low groan as she sat in her usual place and stared at the food in front of her before saying weakly

Sowon : I always eat with you during breakfast before you go to work.

San's eyes slightly softened at her words and how ill she seemed to be, and she was still here to be with him.

San : but you should be in bed. Why aren't you feeling well?

Sowon lowered her eyes as she said in a quiet tone

Sowon : because I was sleeping in the terrace last night.

San's eyes widened as he looked at the window next to him, seeing that it was still snowing continuously. When she'd walked out of the room he had expected her to either go to some guest room or walk back in and sleep in their bed a few hours later. He looked back at sowon before asking

San : you were sleeping in the terrace? In this weather?

Sowon said nothing and that only caused san worry at her state of being.

San : why didn't you come in? why didn't you come back to bed, sowon?

Sowon : because you basically threw me out, san. You said you didn't want to sleep in the same bed as someone like me because all I did was complain and waste your time. That's what you said last night, right?

San went silent for a few seconds, not knowing what to say. Now he felt like this was his fault that she was so sick. Sowon let out a shaky breath as she hugged herself from the cold before saying

Sowon : leave it be.

San : why would you listen to my words like that and sleep in the bloody terrace, sowon?

Sowon : just forget about it, san.

San : like hell I'm going to forget about it! Don't you know how unsafe that is, sleeping out in the open like that? What if something bad happened to you, huh?

Sowon : then just marry someone else, marry yena.

San clenched his jaw as sowon mentioned yena's name yet again. Why did she never understand?

San : I am not going to marry shin yena. I'm married to you and I'm going to stay married to you.

Sowon didn't understand why san was getting so riled up over her potential death. Sowon scoffed as she said

Sowon : if I died that wouldn't matter anymore, so stop talking about it as if it's a great deal.

San stared at sowon for a few seconds, the anger in his eyes disappearing as he said in a cold tone

San : fine, it wouldn't matter to me. But you know what would? The insurance money I'd get for you dying under these circumstances, and trust me it would be a hell lot of money.

Sowon looked up at that, her eyes teary and broken from his words. How could he say things like this so easily, without a single care of what it would do to her?

Sowon : am I this worthless to you?

Her voice broke, causing san to freeze. Before he could say anything sowon said

Sowon : you don't even…I'm still utterly alone in this world.

She was bringing back the fact that she was an orphan again, something san hated hearing.

San : oh don't start that again. You're such a dramatic person sowon, you seriously need to stop.

A tear fell from sowon's eyes as she stood up, turning towards the maids before saying in a cold tone

Sowon : I don't want breakfast, feed it to the dogs.

San frowned at that as he said in a firm voice

San : what, no. Sit back down. You're barely able to stand and you expect me to just let you go hungry?

San's tone betrayed slight worry, but sowon could care less as she glared at san before saying

Sowon : yes, I do expect you to do that.

Sowon turned to leave, not saying anything more. San let out a breath as he stood up from his seat, rushing towards sowon and holding her arm to make her stop. He paused at how hot her arms felt to his cold touch, she really was sick

San : don't. I said sit back down.

San started pulling sowon back to her seat as she tried weakly fighting against his hold, knowing there was going to be no use already.

Sowon : let me go!

San : no. you're not walking around in this condition, especially without having eaten anything.

San pushed sowon down on her seat gently before saying, his voice final

San : you're going to sit right here and eat before you do anything else.

Sowon : I don't want to eat! I told you I wasn't bloody hungry.

San glared right back at her before saying

San : I don't care if you're not hungry, sowon, you don't even look capable of walking right now so I'm forcing you to eat.

Sowon : san-

San : you can't survive on an empty stomach alone with this fever. So you're going to stay here and eat, even if I have to shove that food down your throat myself.

Sowon looked away from san, still not bothering to eat. He sighed, saying in a more softer tone now

San : eat, sowon.

Sowon stared at the food as she felt tears in her eyes again, at how san was being and the pathetic situation she was in.

Sowon : what can't you just leave me be, san?

San's irritation melted away when he saw sowon's eyes tearing up, especially when she was shivering so much because of the cold and all because he was being so cruel to her. He took a deep breath before loosening his hold on her arm as he said, softer than ever

San : come on, just have a little something to eat, please sowon-ah.

Sowon sniffled as she took the spoon in her shaky hands, feeding herself some soup as tears streamed down my cheeks. She hated this, deciding she wasn't going to talk to him now.

San stayed silent as he watched sowon eat, feeling relieved that she was finally eating something. He had been sitting opposite her for a few minutes when he saw that she was still shivering slightly, causing him worry again as he asked

San : are you still feeling cold?

Sowon took a big gulp of her soup before saying

Sowon : it doesn't matter.

And to her utter annoyance she shivered right after those words, proving it entirely wrong. San sighed as he said

San : it does matter, you might end up with a fever worse than this if you keep going on like this.

San watched as sowon finished her soup, realizing she wasn't going to talk to him.

San : just come here.

Sowon : no, I don't need it.

Her voice was still shaky as her tears continued to wet her clothes, she didn't want san to think she had no self-respect. But he didn't care about that, her health was more important than some stupid self-respect. San stared at her before hardening his voice as he said

San : come here. Right now.

Sowon pressed her trembling lips together as she got up from her seat and walked towards san who was sitting a bit away from her, sowon feeling pathetic once again. San pulled her by the arm towards him as she fell onto his lap, him wrapping his arms around her immediately as he began rubbing her cold shoulders to keep her warm.

He could see that the maids had left already, leaving them all alone.

San : shh, I'll take care of you.

Sowon shut her eyes tightly as more tears streamed down her cheeks, her lips wobbling as she tried to keep herself from crying out loud. San ran his hand along her shoulders as he whispered gently

San : it's okay, you're going to be okay sowon-ah.

Sowon broke down in his arms at those words as she sobbed against his chest, her painful cries filling the now empty dining hall as san rested his head against the top of hers. He was comforting her when the reason of her tears were him, how ironic for them.

San : I'm so sorry. It's going to be alright.

Sowon knew nothing was going to be alright, she knew he didn't care and never would. And as if he had heard her thoughts he said softly

San : I do care, sowon.

Sowon shook her head, sniffling as she said brokenly

Sowon : you…you don't. You don't care even the-even the slightest. You're just doing this because you have no other choice san.

San pressed his lips together as he let his hand run through her hair and he suddenly felt guilty at how weak sowon sounded. This was all his fault, and that realization hit him harder than ever before as he held sowon's weak body in his arms.

San : I never should've done this to you.

Sowon finally let her arms wrap around san's neck as she felt the fever making her dizzy and more vulnerable. And so she whispered sadly

Sowon : I love you, I know you don't love me and never will but I don't care about any of that. I will still love you, san.

San : I…

San did not know what to say, he just knew he didn't deserve that from her. At all.

San : do you know how foolish it is to say those words to me?

Sowon : I don't care, I don't bloody care how foolish or pathetic it is.

San's arms tightened around sowon's now light body as he realized that the fever and pain was taking a toll on her, he was destroying her and it felt like his heart cracked for the first time in years. He felt a lump form in his throat as he whispered

San : I don't deserve that.

San felt sowon's body get heavier, her arms around him loosening as he realized she was slowly falling asleep. San kept rocking her back and forth as his grip around her tightened, bringing her even closer to his chest as he tried to keep her as warm as possible.

San : I'm so sorry won-ah.

San held the side of her head as he kissed her forehead, feeling her feverish body nuzzle even closer to him as she mumbled his name, half asleep. That brought a sad smile to san's lips as he wrapped the shawl tighter around her so she'd feel as warm as possible. And just like that his wife had fallen asleep in his arms for the first time ever.

San fell into a small trance as he realized that she'd fallen asleep against him, all cuddled up and warm. He stayed silent as he cradled her in his arms and felt the warmth of her body against his. His hand continued rubbing her shoulders as he felt his heart well up with emotions.

Sowon was like a small, innocent child when she was alseep, and he could never hate her when she was being like this. Not that he could hate her otherwise either, but he had to pretend. He just had to.

San ran his hands along her hair as he rocked her back and forth before whispering in a broken tone

San : happy belated birthday my love.

San closed his eyes as a tear slipped past the corner of his eyes, remembering the whole reason behind their fucked up marriage.

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FLASHBACK :

San had been kneeling down against his mother's grave, his eyes red and teary from all the crying he had done the past 2 days. He hated himself, and the crescent shaped cuts in his palm along with the various other cuts in his body that was covered by his suit indicated it.

Soohyun : you dare cry at the grave of the woman you caused the death of, you filthy bastard?

San flinched and looked up to face his brother who was now glaring down at him, his eyes red as well. San felt more tears slip past his eyes as he said

San : I'm so sorry, hyung. I'm so sorry I didn't mean to-

Soohyun : you didn't mean to stab your own mother?

San flinched at his words, still remembering his own mother's blood in his hands, her dead body falling limp against him. It was an accident, he thought she was someone else. He was trapped in that place, it was so dark and he was so scared, he hadn't heard anyone's voice for weeks. He didn't know it was his mother, he had no idea when he spilt all his anger at the masked figure in front of him whom he thought was his captive.

He had only realized it was his beloved mother when he heard her strangled groan, her bloodied hands coming up to hold his cheek as it smeared her own blood on it. He could still feel it, like a burn against his skin.

Soohyun : she had come to save you, she'd risked her own life to go to that place and get you out and you…you killed her.

San sobbed at his brother's words, hugging his legs as san begged pathetically

San : please forgive me, I'm so sorry please forgive me hyung. I didn't kn-know, it was an accident please.

Soohyun kicked his younger brother away from him with disgust, staring down at him with such hatred san felt his heart break into pieces.

Soohyun : you took the one person I loved away from me, and one day I will do the same to you. One day when you marry, and have your wife that you love so much, I will kill her the same way you killed my mother. I will drain her off her blood brutally and have you watch it, choi san. I will make you regret ever having loved her.

And just like that soohyun had left a broken san behind, his wails ringing around the empty graveyard as he felt his life crumble upon him. He remembered sowon then, the young lady his grandfather had found for him to get married to because he wanted the company to go down to san and not soohyun. He remembered the way she had looked at him so softly, smiling at him with so much love.

He had loved her too, but now he couldn't. because loving her meant causing her death, soohyun would kill her. And not marrying her would mean his grandfather would give the company to soohyun, and given his character san could only imagine the destruction he'd bring with that much power.

And so he'd made the decision, to marry kim sowon but never love her.

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