mianacholia

[mianacholia]

Apparently I did last night, because I woke up with terrible back pain.

Yesterday, I started watching The Flash again because it’s been a while and I never finished it. I think I stopped at season 7 — now there are 9 seasons.

I really like the vibe of shows like that. I don’t watch series that often (I prefer movies), but when the atmosphere is kind of vintage, nostalgic, mystical — I don’t even know how to describe it — it just makes it so enjoyable to watch.

[mianacholia]

"Do you ever regret not saying something? "

— Heck YES.

First of all, I kinda like this format—starting with a sentence in quotes and just responding like this. (Also, what’s the English word for guillemets you know the "" «», is there any? I totally forgot.) Anyway, I’m getting off track.

I have so many examples of times I wish I had said something, and I just roll around in bed at night regretting it !!!!! I’m not even a shy person. I don’t know. I think I get impressed too easily and just lose my words.

The thing is, I act like I don’t care—but I do. I care about everything they say (keep that to yourself). And when I finally get the courage to speak up, something always goes wrong. So I shut down again. But I know I’ll get there one day.

I’m working on it. I’m working on me—to be brave enough to not give a f anymore. I seriously envy people who say whatever comes to their mind without caring about the consequences. I wish I had that superpower.

[mianacholia]

"You still have it?"

– Yes, I keep everything.

I don’t know if it’s a bad thing, but I have stuff from primary school—literally—because I’m so attached to it, even though it means nothing anymore to the people I used to share it with. I just like souvenirs, and I like looking back at old things and thinking, "Dang, we did all that," or "I miss this place..."

I keep pictures, objects, stories, drawings—everything. Is that bad? People always tell me not to get attached to things, but I can’t help it (my bad, I guess). Even stupid everyday stuff—you will catch me putting it in my journal or my memory box.

Maybe I just don’t like the idea of forgetting. Even the smallest things feel like they mattered once.

[mianacholia]

Cholia's Thoughts #6

Classes are officially over. They gave us a whole week to study for exams. I have to admit... I haven’t been very productive. But I’m starting tomorrow (I’ll try, okay ?).

Anyway, I’ve been having a great time! I played a lot of Call of Duty Mobile… I picked up crocheting again and made a few little things.

Also, if you crochet—do you also hate the sewing part ? Because I sure do. I'm terrible at it. I think I’ve gotten a little better, but I still live in fear of ruining everything when it's time to stitch the pieces together.

Today I made a tiny jellyfish and a little star bag charm! I'm still learning how to crochet, and it's still just as fun!

Also, the weather changed again—now it’s insanely hot! That’s it for today’s episode of catch me crocheting instead of studying (oops). My finals exams are literally next week ❤️

[mianacholia]

A part of my phone’s gallery

~ One of the pages of my journal.

~ A book that really scared me: Batman Arkham Asylum

~ A game on my phone: Room

~ Another game: My little star

~ A manga I’d love to experience again if I ever forget it: Attack on titan

~ My salamander keychain and my N keychain form a bicycle :)

[mianacholia]

Topic I found on Pinterest: "If I were a superhero, I’d be..."

If I were a superhero, I’d definitely have powers. No way I’m rolling with just gadgets (sorry Batman, love you though). For me, electricity — the thing that makes you fast, lets you shoot lightning, thunder and all that cool stuff — is by far the most badass power. So yeah, electricity (with all the spicy extras like time travel, hyper speed...), kind of like Flash but upgraded to my version, would be my thing. I know I’m drifting off topic, but I do what I want. Also, I wouldn’t just go around killing or locking up villains. Sometimes, I might even be on their side (shoutout to my fave, Raul Menendez from Black Ops). Let’s be real, sometimes villains have very valid reasons for becoming who they are. Doesn’t mean I’d agree with everything they do, but they wouldn’t be wrong all the time either. I’d also try not to destroy the city... My costume would be some kind of black leather uniform — part Catwoman, part Ochaco from My Hero Academia. I’d work solo most of the time, but I’d totally be down for a team-up or even training an apprentice. But honestly? Being a superhero sounds kind of lame. So scratch all that. I’d be a villain. Not like the Joker though — he’s evil just for the sake of it. There’s gotta be a reason. A good reason.

Also what a cute cat — I mean the one up there, stretching. ᓚ₍ ^. .^₎

[mianacholia]

Cyanotype, Rain Edition

02/06/25 ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Today, for our last visual arts class, we did some cyanotype printing. They’re not all perfect, but it was fun to do. The first time we did it, the results were better (we had sun). Today it rained, so the sun couldn’t really help us out, and things took longer to dry. Spot the odd one out…

@decadentstegosaurus You gave me the idea for this photo montage ⋆⋅☆

[mianacholia]

It’s in moments like these that I wish I had a camera (sky view at night 🌌📸).

01/06/25

Is my way of writing boring ? Because English isn’t my first language, I try to write like I learned it — kind of formal ? Or at least more understandable ?? “correct,” I guess ? Anyway, this week was SO good. My brother made it to the finals with his football team and they won! The vibe was insane, I had so much fun.

I maaay have enjoyed myself a little too much this week… and now here I am, doing all my homework on a Sunday (classic). I also restarted a bunch of old series I used to watch, and rewatched a few movies — so yeah, full-on nostalgia mode.

Speaking of nostalgia, school ends in a few days and I’m kinda sad about it. Sure, we’ll be back for exams and all, but the vibe is already different. I think I will miss high school, even though I’m always complaining about it. But at the same time, I’m pretty happy it’s almost over. Bittersweet, you know ?

Smooth transition ✈️🦅🪐✨🤸‍♂️: Is it just in France or is the weather actually losing it ??? Like, it’s May and it’s rained more than it’s been sunny! (Not that I’m complaining, I barely have summer clothes and I like the rain — so why am I even talking 😭).

Anywayyy bye before I spiral into even more random topics

[mianacholia]

Cholia’s thoughts #5

*picture from pinterest*

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

22/05/25

This morning, on my way to school, I was practicing my oral presentation out loud. Sometimes I grabbed my phone and pretended to be recording a voice message or on a call… even on the bus. For me, acting like that in public is a real achievement. So naturally, it deserves a speech!

Acceptance Speech:

Good evening everyone,

I am deeply honored to receive the Award for the Person Who Talks to Themselves in Public Just for an Oral Presentation.

Honestly, I didn’t expect it… even though, let’s be real, I probably rehearsed this very speech out loud on the street this morning.

I’d like to thank:

- The passersby who looked at me with concern.

- The elderly gentlemen who nodded, probably thinking I was talking to them.

- And most of all, the shop windows, always there to reflect my concentrated face as I debated the deeply serious topics of my oral exam with myself.

I dedicate this award to everyone who lives in their own head… but whose mouth didn’t get the memo.

Thank you, and see you soon for the Award for the Person Who Laughs Alone at an Inside Joke.

⋆⋆⋆

PS: I think I did pretty well on my oral presentation; I just used a lot of « euh » (ums, uhs) those very French hesitations when I wasn’t quite sure of my text or just needed to find my words. That is all for today, I’m going to sleep now BYEE ✈︎ ✈︎ ✈︎

[mianacholia]

The Sound of Bracelets and Stress ★ˎˊ˗

*picture from pinterest*

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

21/05/25 𓆉

☾☼ It’s hard to be consistent with writing every single day! Sometimes I feel like I have nothing to write, even though I have a million things to say. I don’t know how to explain it.

☾☼ Today I had an oral exam in English. I can’t wait for the baccalauréat to be over (no idea how you say that in English). And for the school year to end too!

☾☼ I was supposed to arrive 15 minutes early, but I got there like 25 minutes early—and the teachers were still late. Which only made my stress worse.

☾☼ But they were teachers I already knew, so it wasn’t that stressful while I was speaking. I managed to keep eye contact and point at stuff on the slides without stuttering too much.

☾☼ I think it’s just during the discussion part, after I finished presenting my project, that I got a little stressed—because I had to keep talking and thinking in English. And anticipate the questions, give decent answers, etc.

But hey, it’s done!

☾☼ Well… not really. I have another oral exam tomorrow… which I’ve only started revising for today. And it’s longer and harder than the English one.

☾☼ But it doesn’t count!! It’s just practice for the real one, which is in less than a month.

☾☼ Unlike today’s exam, this time there’ll be four people judging me: two teachers and two students. Our teachers said it’s so we can see how others handle it and figure out what works and what doesn’t.

☾☼ To change the subject (because I feel like I only ever talk about school), my mom bought me new jewelry!! The bracelets are so cute—I love the sound they make when I move.

☾☼ Back to school stuff though (hehe), after my English oral, I spent almost three hours doing absolutely nothing in the cafeteria, pretending to revise for my next oral.

☾☼ Am I the only one who learns their oral presentations by heart?? Like, I’ve always done it that way, so I just can’t find another method. Even if I’ve written tens of pages, I will memorize those tens of pages…

☾☼ And I’m suffering the consequences as we speak. I’m two PowerPoints away from becoming a presentation myself. If I start speaking in slides, send help.

⋆˚࿔ ⋆˚࿔ ⋆˚࿔

[mianacholia]

I thought we'd at least get a final dramatic slow-motion scene with sad music... but nope, just a « that’s it, go home ».

this is so weird like that’s it that’s the end. Just like that the life i know ends, from now nothing will be the same. I have one final exam left out of eight and afterwards everything ends. Just like that all this talking about exams over my head for years all studying preparation all of the time spent in schools or exam sessions or on sitting with tutors all of it ends within 16 days of the finals. I met a lot of new people durning these days and funny enough only memory we will ever share is the time we were waiting in the halls for exams to begin. We were in our lives only for this short moment. No one saint goodbye no one even thought about it because we were never important to each others just passing time with strangers for some time. We won’t met again there is no graduation party, maybe accidentally when collecting our results. But besides that it’s the end. Crazy how every one of us will go in different directions and we will never know what is waiting for us

[mianacholia]

Books, Compliments & Chaos ꫂ ၴႅၴ

*picture from pinterest*

14/05/25 𓇼

𖤓 It’s been a while since I last wrote here, but let’s blame the exams!Today, I didn’t have many classes, so I took the chance to clear my mind a bit. I went shopping—I was looking to buy some clothes. I found the cutest little white top, and while I was in the store, a girl stopped me to say she thought I was really beautiful. I couldn’t stop smiling and thinking about it!!

𖤓 In the moment, I wasn’t sure if she was joking or if she really meant it, but now I don’t even care—it honestly made my day, and she seemed super sweet.

𖤓 After that, I figured I needed something new to read. I spent a good while looking for the right book. I wanted to try a different genre since I usually read crime novels or thrillers, but it was hard to switch things up.I started by checking out the romance section, but all I saw were cringey covers and super sketchy summaries. So I told myself romance can wait till next time.

𖤓 Then I wandered over to the fantasy section—everything looked amazing, but I was completely lost. So I ended up back in my comfort zone: the crime novels.I kinda wish I had brought my “to read” list, but to be fair, I wasn’t even planning on buying any books.

𖤓 In the end, I picked up Beloved by Toni Morrison. I was actually looking for another one of her books, but they didn’t have it.Anyway, that’s all for today! Hope you had a great day too!

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

[mianacholia]

Monet's house, Giverny

[mianacholia]

The setting of my thoughts right now

⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆

It’s a sort of office, with a large window. It has a view of everything, but you can't see anything, it’s blurry. On the desk, there are plenty of books, some a bit worn. The chair is not perfectly arranged, its backrest and seat face the window.

It must be grey outside, but it’s bright enough to light up the room. A plant appears in a corner, pretty enough to bring life and color around it.

But the door creaks, it opens and closes: the large window has opened, and the wind shakes the plant and the door. It turns the pages of the books.

The door slams, the window too, the plant is gone.

𓂃 ࣪ ☁️་༘

[mianacholia]

Cholia’s thoughts #4

This man scared me throughout the whole book.

30/04/25 ⋆˚࿔

⭑.ᐟ I did my oral presentation in English today — we had to describe monuments from an architectural point of view, and each group had their own. What was really nice is that we got to present them on-site. We had to speak loudly so people could hear us, and sometimes people walked right in front of us — it was pretty funny. Some even pretended to duck down so they wouldn’t get in the way!

⭑.ᐟ I think I spoke really quietly, even though it felt loud in my head.

⭑.ᐟ We walked so much that my feet are sore (I’m not always tired I promise). But I also took the bus a ton (I did some back-and-forth trips to accompany a classmate). The weather was beautiful — not too hot or too cold — and I kept thinking, “Wow, my city is really pretty!”

⭑.ᐟ Because of the trip, the rest of the classes we were supposed to have were cancelled. The outing was supposed to last the whole morning, but we finished early. And I don’t have any classes tomorrow.

⭑.ᐟ I spent the rest of the day reading Batman comics. My friend introduced me to the world of Batman and DC, with movies like Superman/Batman: Public Enemies. She also got me into playing the games; I started with Batman: Arkham City and Arkham Asylum, I think. She also got me into the Justice League series. But anyway, I wanted to buy some comics to understand even more. I’ll probably keep reading until I fall asleep. So yeah, nothing super productive today, really. ᯓ★

[mianacholia]

Cholia’s thoughts #3

I feel like that too Kirby *picture from pinterest*

29/04/25 ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

08:49 AM ⋆˚꩜｡ D-Day. Let’s see if all that training for track and field was actually useful. But for now, I’ve got art history class. Well... if the teacher ever decides to show up. I really hope I didn’t wake up early for nothing!

12:54 PM ⋆˚꩜｡ One hour left before the track and field exam. I’m so stressed… I really don’t wanna run, please send help.

01:45 PM ⋆˚꩜｡ As I was heading toward the sports stadium, I saw a tiny light-brown squirrel, almost red. It was so cute! It ran around, then climbed up a tree and disappeared.

03:57 PM ⋆˚꩜｡ I’m done with the athletics exam and I’m dead. My legs feel like jelly, I don’t even know if I’m thinking straight—everything in me is just tired.

On my way home, I saw that black cat I’d crossed paths with once. I have to stop whenever I see a cat in the street, even if I look totally crazy—it’s stronger than me. Today, the cat looked all dirty and meowed when it saw me coming. Maybe it remembers me? I gave it a quick pet (I would've stayed for hours otherwise and girl I was tired), then kept walking.

09:47 PM ⋆˚꩜｡ Turns out my art history teacher never came. Honestly, I’m just glad the athletics part is over and I don’t have to think about it anymore (except, you know, to stress about the grade).

I’m now rehearsing my English oral presentation—I practiced in front of a mirror (it was either that or taking my brother hostage to make him listen).

Anyway, looking back, running was kinda fun… (just kidding, are you serious? My legs still hurt).

So yeah, that was my day—hope yours went well too!! ⭑𓂃

[mianacholia]