michanvalentine

[michanvalentine]

When they get a little too codependant/clingy. I imagine it takes them some time to adjust. She tried to be subtle but it didn't work... Them and their stupid dynamic : 1 -

[michanvalentine]

Maybe I have my limitations, because once I get to know a character, that’s who they are for me—period. Even mods, though I like them, I use them sparingly… but this is too much!!! Astarion looks like he’s made of plastic!!! And Wyll? Jesus, I can’t even look at him!

I’ve already talked about this before, but I have to say it again. (I have nothing againts somebody who likes this mods but) why take away the wrinkles, the laugh lines, the eyebags, their naturally shaped face?

They look like they have gotten facelift.😭

Also bonus, because I just now seen it and I-….😀

Just why?

[michanvalentine]

I won't tell you how much KCD has affected me, but there will be hints

[michanvalentine]

Vincent is here to inform you that if You have been goin 5 years exhausted and fatigued out of your mind and struggling to feel things a lot of the time then go to a doctor!

[michanvalentine]

To me, everyone sees what they want to see, and that’s fine. But when it comes to the power imbalance in the relationship (which you might enjoy—hey, that’s your business), it’s honestly undeniable that Tav/Durge is his vampire spawn. So much so that without the tadpole in your head, you’re not even free to leave him.

Yeah, I truly don’t understand the people who like Ascended Astarion; I let him ascend once with a Tav I romanced him with and he became so controlling/abusive my Tav broke up with him almost immediately (and I haaaaaate that they changed the kiss with an Ascended Astarion to make it look like Tav was enjoying him like that instead of, rightfully, fricking terrified), and Astarion took it…poorly. Luckily it was still early in, but the way he reacts if you let me make you a spawn and try to break up? Yeah, yikes.

I get liking effed up romances - I am a die hard Hannibal/Will Graham fan, and you don’t get much more effed up than the Murder Husbands - but AA got all my hackles up. More power to you, I guess, but it’s definitely not a healthy relationship with legs.

[michanvalentine]

I was just thinking—for fun—about how I picture Astarion’s radiant hopeful ending after the six-month celebration following the events of Baldur’s Gate 3. Sometimes you come across such absurd takes that you just go “meh,” honestly. Like, him living in the sewers, lol—why, exactly? Or him setting himself on fire the moment Tav/Durge passes away, because let’s face it, our character is apparently the only valid reason for this poor little vampy-boy’s existence (level 12 adventurer and hero who defeated the Netherbrain, sure).

Naturally, I’m focusing on the single ending—not because I don’t enjoy the romance, but because it sparks my imagination more.

I picture this vampire spawn with his small, well-kept apartment in Baldur’s Gate. A ground floor with a cozy sitting room, a hearth, and lovely wide windows letting in the light of lanterns and the chatter of the city’s nightlife. A staircase leads down to the bedroom and bath in the basement—safety first, of course, since sunlight isn’t ideal during naps. Two kinds of curtains hang from the top of the windows: a lighter, hand-embroidered one made by him, and a heavier, darker one to block out the sun.

Near the hearth is a little sewing corner and a mannequin proudly displaying his latest tailoring projects. At the foot of the small workspace sits a basket filled with spools of thread and fabric samples. On the table: patterns, needles, scissors, thimbles, and everything else he needs to work. There are always flowers on the mantel and the table—some brought straight from Shadowheart’s meadow. He wrinkles his nose, but keeps them anyway; he likes remembering how vibrant their colors are.

On the other side of the hearth is a small bookcase and an armchair full of pillows. There’s a brightly colored fuzzy throw he enjoys for the texture. That’s where he relaxes alone when he has time to read something interesting. Gale makes sure to bring him a new tome every month. There’s a stack of boring books on the floor—those come straight from Waterdeep and he can’t bring himself to throw them away. The good ones are neatly shelved, except for the one he’s currently reading, which rests on the armrest, waiting to be picked up again.

Nearby is a three-legged wooden stool, carved with floral patterns—useful for sitting by the fire or as a footrest. Halsin gifted it to him. The sideboard is well-stocked with plates, glasses, tablecloths, pots, cutlery, and all kinds of utensils. Not just any kind—he likes them refined, even if he doesn’t use them. Gotta impress the guests! And even though he doesn’t eat human food, there’s always bread and cheese on the kitchen counter. Sausages hang from the hooks. One drawer hides rigged cards and dice—only he knows how to make them work.

Next to the sideboard is a small rack for vintage bottles. Only the finest wines (many stolen) in House Ancunin! Guests are few and carefully selected from his inner circle. He values privacy and discretion, especially with those he doesn’t fully trust. He has standards! Lol. That’s why he’s rigged some traps at the entrance. Trust is good, but caution is better—especially when he’s away or asleep downstairs.

The bedroom features a luxurious canopy bed—probably the most expensive item in the house—draped with rich fabric all the way to the floor. Pillows everywhere, in every color and shape. He usually sleeps naked, in black silk sheets. The wardrobe is filled with outfits for every occasion. Many he made himself, some were custom-made by Figaro when he wanted to treat himself, and some he just flat-out stole from rich bastards. Astarion Ancunin is a fashion icon, after all.

Naturally, there are also simpler, comfortable clothes suited to his work. At the foot of the bed is a magically trapped and locked chest (crafted by Gale just for him), where he keeps gold and rare or magical items looted from evil rich folk—who didn’t deserve them anyway. He’ll put them to good use… more or less. One day, that chest will also contain the amulet or cloak that lets him walk in the sun again—he and his old adventuring party are still working on it.

In one corner of the room is a tall mirror with a refined frame. He likes it as a decorative piece—but hey, with the right company in bed, it can always come in handy! Lol. In the other corner is a battered dartboard with at least two daggers stuck in it. Mounted on the wall is a rack of weapons. A pair of curved daggers were gifts from Avernus, courtesy of Karlach and Wyll. A dagger with a Spartan hilt came from another plane, sent by Lae’zel. He doesn’t like it, but he trusts her taste when it comes to efficiency and effectiveness.

The bathroom is, of course, well-equipped: a full tub (not connected to plumbing), with a stack of soft, fragrant towels beside it, and a rug he enjoys stepping on when entering or exiting the bath. There’s a carved floral stool there too—another gift from Halsin. A couple of shelves display his beloved collection of oils and soaps. Also proudly displayed: a set of brushes for every need, because we know how meticulous he is about his hair.

His work as a vigilante (or paid assassin) is slowly paying off, thanks to word of mouth. His clientele includes people from all social classes. Rarely, but when he feels personally involved, he’s accepted jobs in exchange for goods (that he doesn’t eat). Once, a woman abused by her so-called rich lover gave him a chicken as payment. He cursed every god, then accepted, warning her not to tell anyone. He then gave the chicken to the orphan kids who plague his soul begging him to mentor them—just because he once gave them tips on how to properly pickpocket rich fools. Especially foreign merchants with heavy coin purses.

Since then, the brats look up to him and beg for adventurous stories, dreaming of becoming like him. He treats them with disdain, but he secretly loves seeing those little misfits seek his attention and try to apply what he teaches (with hilariously poor results). Not before being begged with: “Pleeeease, Mister Astarion!”

In the colder seasons, when the sun sets early, business picks up—he has more time to be active. He also has more time for the Elfsong when he’s in the mood for fun. Everyone knows him there—he’s the life of the party. Cards, dice, gossip (while gathering intel), flirting just for fun, and sometimes... upstairs shenanigans. All on his terms, of course.

Few people know the real him, and for now, that’s fine. Not everyone can be among the privileged few with access to his home, his life, his intimacy. Alfira, who often performs there, knows and accepts this. Same for his friend Lakrissa.

Once, he saved Chef Roover from a drunk, ill-intentioned outsider by draining him dry. Roover raised an eyebrow and ordered him to help mop up the piss (the guy had wet himself in fear). After that and a few explanations, Alan Alyth tried to hire Astarion as a bouncer. He agreed to “make troublemakers disappear”—nothing more—in exchange for unrestricted access to the tavern’s lower floors for his business.

Now Astarion has taken over the old Emperor’s chambers, giving them a new purpose. Still under renovation, but clients can drop by the bartender, say the code word, and be sent downstairs... Astarion has big plans for himself and his enterprise. Maybe someday he’ll add a small hedonistic lounge to share with friends who enjoy the same bloody pleasures. In moderation, of course. After all, it’s nice to inspire hope in people, not just fear, right?

And then there’s Jaheira, who drops by nearly every day under the pretense of helping with renovations, delivering materials, or suggesting more “reasonable” interior design. Really, she just wants to play mama wolf and make sure he stays out of trouble, while slipping him extra gigs on behalf of the Harpers or the Flaming Fists. At least she doesn’t nag at his house—and tries to keep Minsc out of it—but Astarion knows it’s just a matter of time before the ranger shows up in his kitchen out of nowhere, bloody, half-dressed, and with a dumb story about how he got there.

And of course, there are the Gur, who frequently seek his advice about vampire spawn kids or local monsters. If they can offload more work onto him, all the better! At least they’ve stopped hunting him, and sometimes they even help lighten the weight of vampirism. He’d never admit it, but a lot of them are actually fun—and nearly as good at cheating at dice as he is. Once, they held a kind of tournament where he almost lost. Damn cutthroat vagabonds!

So yeah, just a little headcanon about poor, helpless, useless Spawn Astarion, who supposedly can’t survive a day without Tav/Durge. xP

[michanvalentine]

You guys... YOU GUYS! Look at these BEAUTIFUL, PANTY-DROPPING renders of Justice Astarion Ancunín (from my fic, Jury Duty) that the immensely multi-talented @arafel0194 surprised me with! My jaw seriously hit the floor. I'm so fucking spoiled 🥲💦

Thanks again, @arafel0194. I am not capable of fully articulating just how much I love these, and how grateful and touched I am that you made them. And to everyone else: please, go check out the rest of her artwork and her writing, if you haven't already!

[michanvalentine]

Tranquil, safe happiness.

[michanvalentine]

astarion being like i stopped fighting centuries ago but also in cazador’s journal caz talks about how astarion always causes him trouble and the other spawn complaining about how troublesome astarion is and how if astarion succeeds a con check in the ritual and isn’t put in the ritual cazador is like EVEN NOW?? YOU’RE RESISTING???? and astarion talking about a few different times he tried fighting back and was brutally punished for it and how it’s implied that he started disassociating when carrying out caz’s orders (gur kiddos) and and and

[michanvalentine]

[michanvalentine]

"Trust me to do what's best for me - our fates are linked. I need you and you need me. It's that simple."

[michanvalentine]

Tav: I spoke to Ulma, the leader of those monster hunters. She wants us to save their children from Cazador.

Telling Astarion you went to the Gur Camp without him. Gif commissions

[michanvalentine]

My BG3 headcanon: Astarion truly cares about his Tav | Durge, doesn't matter if they are friends or lovers, so when his dearest had a date night, he secretly followed, just in case.

Bonus below:

[michanvalentine]

She likes to kiss him till she hears him snort and ugly laugh

[michanvalentine]

Redid the Festival of Heroes big group picture I did last year! ☺️

OG below!

[michanvalentine]

He hasn't been seen for a very, very long time.

[michanvalentine]

Who knows how much longer I'll lay on the floor

Touch me till I vomit

I'm not scared of god, I'm scared he was gone all along