miidnightgloom

[miidnightgloom]

Rock & Punk

Xavier didn’t get Rock & Punk until xe moved in with Demarcus, Jayden, & Jovanni. Xavier found them while dumpster diving with Jayden one day, but unfortunately both Rock and Punk were dead. By using xyr vampiric abilities, xe managed to bring both rats back to life — so Xavier doesn’t worry about their short lifespan since, just like Xavier ximself, they’re undead.

[miidnightgloom]

sometimes i get a little scared to share my oc blog because it’s kind of embarrassing…but also the paranoia.

i wanna share my ocs, but i also know how people can get when they get their hands on a new oc to obsess over. and there’s nothing wrong with that — i would love if people were crazy about my ocs as much as i am, but the huge audience just scares me.

[miidnightgloom]

Gonna dive into Jayden’s personality a bit….

Jayden is and will always view and perceive the world differently. this is because being half human and half eldritch does play a huge factor in his way of life and how he sees things, acts on stuff, and handles issues, situations, or conflicts. I wanna say that Jayden may have a split brain or a divided mind between human and eldritch, and this can also play a factor with his emotions, well-being, and his ways of thinking — hence why some people who have encountered Jayden have always felt super uncanny or slightly uncomfortable whenever he “switches up.”

Judging from Jayden’s colorful and bright appearance, not many people think that he’s the opposite of what he looks like. And they’re not entirely wrong; but that doesn’t take away the that Jayden is actually insufferable and a straight up psychopath half of the time. Depending on Jayden’s mindset, he can be a bit of a sociopath, but not always.

I talked about how Jayden has other ways of damaging a person and that killing isn’t his only way of handling things. Due to him being part eldritch, no one, nor even himself, knows what he’s actually capable of — and of course, he does use that to his advantage. Sometimes Jayden can get people to break into madness or insanity even if they lack or don’t have any mental issues at all. Jayden himself carries so much insanity that nothing really seems to phase him, even the most fucked up video in the world may not leave him scarred for life.

Jayden can be very insufferable and insulting, saying whatever comes out of his mouth or whatever he thinks about, even if it’s something off putting or crazy since again, Jayden’s mindset is different. Now this isn’t to say he can’t learn or understand that sometimes he should read the room or take things more seriously, but Jayden lacks comprehension skills sometimes and may not fully understand something until it hits him or he sees the affect of his actions.

Jayden isn’t some cutie pie that loves rainbows and colorful shit, he’s just…an asshole who loves rainbows and colorful shit. He won’t deny that. He carries a big ass ego and a bold complex, feeling superior in most cases, hence his high confidence. Jayden can be sweet whenever he wants to, but it’s really only if he wants to get to know a person or finds a person interesting — though, sometimes his sweet act can be faked and used for his sick ideas and twisted games that he tends to make excuses for.

Sure, Jayden is indeed crazy and won’t deny that, but don’t think that he’s the kind of guy that’s into some very fucked up things that don’t align with his morals (like beastiality, rape, adult, etc.) . Him having a hard and troubling past also plays into his character.

And, for some odd reason — at least to some — Xavier is totally infatuated with him.

[miidnightgloom]

happy pride month!

in honor of it being the first day of pride, imma share some stuff about my (main) ocs and their identities & etc. this was something i was eventually gonna dive into regardless, but since it’s now pride month i have more of a reason to share them! (so this post will be long)

keep in mind that these are MY Ocs personal experiences with parts of myself and how I view my own nonbinary and queer experiences. please do not project your own experiences of gender and queerness onto my ocs thank you!

Demarcus

Demarcus is a demiboy & queer. To him, he actually feels comfortable with being a dude, calling himself a man, and going by masculine terms and masculinity within itself — but only partially. He struggles with this as he feels close to actually being nonbinary than being a demiboy, as gender expression is kind of….a difficult experience for him.

See, some people may look at Demarcus and instantly think that he doesn’t look androgynous or nonbinary enough to ever consider being a demiboy or have any personal issues with his gender at all, hence why not many people know about Demarcus’s experience with his gender since…he’s not allowed to have an experience with it at all. Sure, people don’t mind if he doesn’t put an exact label on him saying he’s queer while being more attracted to men, but he doesn’t wanna consider himself a gay man because he just…doesn’t feel comfortable with it. In a sense that he doesn’t care about labeling himself as such since that term doesn’t fit with him personally; but saying you’re a demiboy? People will look at him like he’s crazy.

Demarcus definitely has personally issues with how he presents himself, because he does feel like how he looks plays apart into his identity, and sometimes that’s hard for him to understand. He wants to look the part but struggles to know what that ‘part’ is since he doesn’t know how to look more androgynous or look more nonbinary. Sometimes he makes himself try on dresses or do some feminine things, but only out of him forcing himself to think he needs to. Demarcus is not a feminine guy at all, and he knows it’s okay for him to wear dresses and skirts or add feminine aspects to his appearance; but Demarcus is not that kind of guy.

As of now, Demarcus is blank. He doesn’t know what he is, but he’s okay with being a demiboy….for now. Demarcus’s experiences with gender and identity is just a bleak topic for him, and he may never understand himself just yet as he doesn’t know if other labels may suit him.

Jayden

Jayden….may be the gayest, sassiest, and most comfortable queer individual you may ever know. Unlike Demarcus, Jayden is okay with being nonbinary, though he’s had thoughts about himself potentially being gender fluid due to how he doesn’t mind being both feminine and masculine, but also because he can actually change his body parts to whatever he feels like! Jayden has never been one to question himself — him not being bothered by wearing tutus as a little kid or making his hair long or how he portrays himself; Jayden never had any second thoughts or concerns about himself or gender identity.

This is mainly because Jayden doesn’t really know much about himself as a being (hidden lore), so questioning himself just puts clown into a little depressive state since it’s always confusing to understand oneself when you…don’t. Jayden doesn’t know who or what he is. Sure, just because he looks human, doesn’t necessarily mean he is. He’s a being of course, a creature of something he doesn’t know of, nor can be explained. Which is why Jayden actually prefers xenogenders and neopronouns more than typical labels because to rainbow, those help tremendously when it comes to describing clowns gender identity. It’s not often Jayden uses his own neos, but it’s always fun for him when he does.

Using terms like “clowngender” or anything outside of him just being nonbinary really helps as he doesn’t want to be normal. Normal is boring, so why not make himself more complicated to understand?

Jayden doesn’t have much to say when comes to his queerness because he just…fucks anyone he so pleases (with consent). While Jayden finds women more like his sisters, Jayden is also more male leaning, but is mostly a guy who seeks out other nonbinary/genderless people like himself as that’s what makes him more comfortable! He’s nby4nby pretty much. The dude likes sex, what can he say? His flirtatious personality and sassy attitude is just apart of who he is without question. Jayden learns to not question himself and instead, just be. Just exist.

Jayden may never know or understand who he truly is as a being (in my universe and planet), but he’s learning not to question it like he used to when he was younger. There’s still parts of himself he wished he knew, but those questions linger among other universal questions; some that may never ever be answered.

Xavier

Xavier’s experience with being nonbinary and aroace is…a bit challenging. Back when Xavier was still a royal and still lived with xis parents, terms like “nonbinary” or being “aroace” weren’t terms xe knew about. Considering Xavier comes from a victorian era, language was different and any understanding of such weren’t set in stone or developed as it is now. Now that Xavier lives in a more high advanced society where these terms exist and have reached a point in society where they’re more known, Xavier has fully came to terms with being nonbinary and aroace once xey were 18.

However, Xavier has always felt like xe was…off from xis family due to being “born different.” Without understanding things like being nonbinary or being aromantic or even asexual in the time period xe lived in, it was hard to know what exactly was wrong with xim. Xe couldn’t love the way others did and didn’t always feel comfortable being feminine just because femininity was forced upon xim at a young age. To this day, Xavier has a hard time fitting in with other girls due to xis complex relationship with being feminine and femininity as a whole. Sometimes xey doesn’t mind it, but other times Xavier can be disgusted by it.

Xavier struggles with understanding ximself as again, these are still terms xe’s getting used to. On top of understanding xe may be hypersexual, this plays a part in xis aroace-ness, and sometimes makes Xavier feel shameful or an imposter simply because of xis hypersexuality. Again, unlike Demarcus and Jayden and Jovanni, Xavier didn’t have the proper information or resources on gender identity or sexuality, so all of these terms are still something new within xim that xe has a hard to understanding within ximself.

Xavier doesn’t mind being feminine here and there and even dressing up cute, but xe mainly feels comfortable just looking…like a slob. or a tomboy, lol. Xavier may slowly get it and understand ximself more as time goes on, but finding out the answers or even knowing there’s a specific term or label that fits everything you feel is a big culture shock to Xavier, whom, to this day, is still understanding.

Jovanni

Jovanni has always loved being feminine, even when he was a kid. This is mostly due to his mother’s influence on forcing Jovanni into beauty pageants at a young age and also because Jovanni saw his mother as a big role model. I mean, they found their mother beautiful, why wouldn’t he want to look like her? Though, this caused some damage to the relationship Jovanni has with his mom, despite her being the one who forced and influenced this onto Jovanni. She would belittle him and even ask him to pray to god for forgiveness as their mother was super religious, but also used her religion as a way to be manipulative and controlling, shaming Jovanni for being a boy who was into “girly things.” This made Jovanni hate himself and made them resent femininity as a whole.

However, after Jovanni’s mom left Jovanni and his father behind, Jovanni couldn’t stop being feminine, let alone think about it. It was no longer something he wanted to do for the sake of “pretending” or dressing up; this was something Jovanni felt like this was who he was. Of course, that came with struggles and insecurities, even body dysmorphia. It was a conflicting battle because Jovanni mostly forced himself to act more masculine and tough for the sake of his mother, whom was actually never satisfied with Jovanni at all due to her wanting a girl instead of a son.

Eventually, Jovanni got tired of his mother and didn’t want her evil doings or teachings to stop them from wanting to transition. It was no longer something to do and please their mother in hopes she’d return back to him; Jovanni wanted to transition for his own satisfaction and comfort. But he didn’t necessarily want to transition into being a woman — moreso he wanted to transition into looking and presenting more feminine— you know, having a more feminine body type and etc. Jovanni wanted to look feminine as well as being feminine. Afterall, being feminine was apart of the majority of his childhood, it wasn’t something he feared or shamed themselves for anymore.

Sure, Jovanni may not look a certain way, or present themselves in a stereotypical standard, but why should he? Jovanni has came so far and has been more comfortable with himself than he ever did. Though, that doesn’t mean they don’t struggle with insecurities or thoughts on if they made the right decision. Jovanni is tired of being put in a box or living for the sake of others standards — transitioning felt more of a breakthrough; freedom to be whoever he wanted without barriers holding them back.

Jovanni flaunts himself in a way that sure, may come off sexy or inappropriate, but to him? They feel so powerful and comfortable. Happy and loved. Why not show off what you worked so hard for?

As far as still going by “he/him”….Jovanni simply feels comfortable using he/him, but may not be comfortable with being called a man or woman as Jovanni leans more into being nonbinary or completely genderless period. Jovanni feels like having a set gender holds them back, and doesn’t see using a certain set of pronouns as an equal to their gender. Jovanni hates labels, and simply wants to use and be comfortable with whatever feels right to him.

[miidnightgloom]

Notice

this will be updated depending on interactions that lead to new additions or stuff i personally add onto myself.

Do not make suggestions or ideas unless i specifically ask.

Most of my ocs will be black & queer & will be genderless or fall under the aromatic & asexual spectrum.

Refrain from asking me about my personal life or questions related to me. I strictly only use this blog for my Ocs and my Ocs only.

DO NOT BRING ANYTHING POLITICAL TO THIS BLOG. respectfully.

No i do not have a tv show, webcomic, game, or etc with my ocs (yet…..maybe….perhaps….).

I don’t mind headcanons, but it is not guarantee that i will like all of them. please understand some hc’s may be out of character and i don’t see my characters doing what YOU think.

Speaking of, do not say you can’t image my ocs doing something. because i can. i made them.

do not kin my ocs. ever. i am very uncomfortable with that.

i don’t mind people making fan characters, but do not force it down my throat or force me to make content with them.

also, do not make fan characters just for the sake of shipping, making them be my Ocs long lost family, or their relative, sibling, mother, parent, guardian, & etc unless you are helping me co-write and world build, or we’re close mutuals & friends.

do not ship my ocs with yours. especially if relationships are already established. you do not get a freebie on any of my ocs who are single either unless i say otherwise!

do not headcanon major stuff like my characters identities, sensualities, etc.

fanart of my ocs is completely fine, BUT DO NOT MAKE ANY NSFW, FETISH, OR PROBLEMATIC CONTENT WITH THEM. suggestive art is okay! platonic art is okay! gift art is okay! but do not be weird.

i will not respond to questions that don’t relate to my ocs or this blog.

[miidnightgloom]

sim edits

[miidnightgloom]

miidnightgloom >>>> vqmpsmo !

[miidnightgloom]

Jayden and Xavier have a complicated relationship that most people don’t see. It’s not…ordinary.

Jayden has had experiences booking up and having flings with people due to his freaky and sexual nature, but that doesn’t mean he’s ever been in an actual relationship before. Jayden is not committed to form a serious relationship with anyone, and mostly found joy in being the side piece or being the person to tarnish and ruin relationships (and he has, no shame lol).

On top of that, Jayden doesn’t really know too much about love as a concept, so attempting to take a relationship serious was never on his bingo card until he met Xavier. He couldn’t put a finger on it, but something about Xavier stood out to him.

Meanwhile, Xavier has never had any relationship experience….well, minus the constant arranged marriages xyr parents kept trying to set up. Xavier’s ways of love went out the window due to the toxicity and neglect from xis parents, but xe also struggled to connect with love or understand romance with xim personally. It wasn’t until xe met Jayden where that changed…but only a tad.

You see, love to them is different. It’s graphic, off-putting, and weird. Jayden is annoying…but flirty and perverted. He doesn’t do anything to intentionally hurt or harm Xavier, and while Xavier finds his antics over the top; no one has ever appreciated xim more. Most people may assume Jayden is a terrible partner because he insults Xavier or says mean things to xem to the point it comes off as bullying, but Xavier knows Jayden isn’t being serious.

Jayden is not super horny or freaky in a way that makes Xavier uncomfortable, he just can’t help but adore xim. Jayden would literally destroy all worlds if it meant Xavier was protected. Xavier enjoys Jayden, as confessing xyr feelings didn’t really change xyr dynamic with him.

Xavier likes the way Jayden makes xim laugh, and sure, xe may be upset and the stupid and illegal shit he does, but Xavier doesn’t want to trade him for anyone else. Xe doesn’t want anyone else. If the two were to ever break up, Xavier wouldn’t see ximself seeking out anyone else.

The two clash together in a very abnormal way that works for them. As I said, the word “love” means something different to them, and it’s not the typical traditional love that’s in cheesy romcons or novels. Their relationship doesn’t need to have a label attached to it, they hate labels.

But what they do know is that they’re happy with each other, and nothing is gonna get in the way of that.

[miidnightgloom]

adding:

Xavier’s huge insecurities and deteriorating mental health also plays a role into xis current relationship with Jayden. Also with being aroace and being hypersexual, Xavier struggles with understanding xis feelings for Jayden. Xavier can’t describe it, and it bothers xim, but Xavier doesn’t want to break anything off because Jayden is the one and only friend xe’s had so far. Xavier, as much as xe doesn’t want to admit, kind of leeches onto Jayden for the sake of needing to be loved and comforted.

Sure, people understand “you need to love yourself before you love someone else,” but Xavier doesn’t necessarily believe that wholeheartedly. Again, as much as xe doesn’t want to admit it, wants to be called “pretty,” wants to be cared for and treated like xe’s important. Jayden is the only one outside of xis Aunt and siblings that really saw Xavier and didn’t assume the worse out of xim.

However, this may cause conflicts with xyr relationship as Xavier doesn’t want to confront Jayden about xyr own personal issues and problems. Yes. Xavier is really non-confrontational. Xe’s not expecting xyr relationship with Jayden to be perfect, but xe doesn’t want to ruin things with him. Xe’s too attached and maybe that’s not gonna work in the long run; but Xavier doesn’t want to face the reality of breaking things off or losing Jayden out of xis personal attachment to him.

And yet, Xavier won’t do anything about it. Xavier feels so far behind in life, and yet….xe doesn’t know what to do about it.

Xavier has a hard time fitting in with other girls. Dealing with being a former royal, Xavier’s parents never allowed xim to go out and have any kind of independence. Despite being the third richest and royal family in xis hometown, Xavier was mostly sheltered for most of xis life. It definitely added to xis social anxiety as Xavier would have trouble fitting in and dealing with people as a general thing — but mostly girls because Xavier struggles a lot with xis femininity.

After coming to earth and settling, Xavier still has issues with this. Even meeting people like Jovanni, it’s not easy for xim to be comfortable in being feminine and being obsessed with cute stuff or the latest fashion trends. Xavier was also dressed based on xis parents fashion sense and how they wanted xim to look presentable, so trying to have xis own style also affects xim as xe doesn’t know what really suits xim.

Xavier tries to not let it bother xim, but it bothers xim a lot as xe feels like xe’s missing out on life; but especially trying to understand xis feminine side and being apart of a crowd or group. Xavier’s awkwardness and terrible social anxiety has limited xim ever more, making Xavier fearful of trying new things and stepping out of xis zone in fear of everything not working out, or that people won’t like xim.

People falsely assume that Xavier is a “sassy goth chick” who doesn’t take shit from anyone due to xis bluntness, flat expression, and unapproachable aura; but Xavier is just..scared.

Now that xe’s living a normal life, xe doesn’t understand how to be comfortable with it quite yet. What is “normal?” Xavier doesn’t understand. Being an adult and feeling underdeveloped and misguided is hard, and for Xavier especially, xe doesn’t like to ask for help or bother anyone with these problems because xe’s always so standoff-ish.

Even when it comes to being a creative, Xavier doesn’t know where xe stands. In fact, being a freelance artist is pretty hard for xim, hence why xe has a job working at a cat cafe. And this was by xis own choosing as xe didn’t want xis parents money (even if that could have lasted xim a lifetime). Xavier was forced into a lot of hobbies and talents due to xis parents, but music is the one thing Xavier uses as a coping mechanism and is also xis whole world. However, since Xavier is so self-destructive, confused, and dealing with personal issues about ximself; Xavier has a conflicted relationship with the creative arts.

Xe can play the piano and both the electric and acoustic guitar, and is currently learning the crumbs. Xe sometimes makes instrumentals and beats on rare occasions as it’s not a huge hobby of vamps — and does art on the side. However, despite Xavier being skilled in some creative fields, Xavier struggles to see xis own talents, thus, disregarding and self-doubting xis abilities.

[miidnightgloom]

Xavier has a hard time fitting in with other girls. Dealing with being a former royal, Xavier’s parents never allowed xim to go out and have any kind of independence. Despite being the third richest and royal family in xis hometown, Xavier was mostly sheltered for most of xis life. It definitely added to xis social anxiety as Xavier would have trouble fitting in and dealing with people as a general thing — but mostly girls because Xavier struggles a lot with xis femininity.

After coming to earth and settling, Xavier still has issues with this. Even meeting people like Jovanni, it’s not easy for xim to be comfortable in being feminine and being obsessed with cute stuff or the latest fashion trends. Xavier was also dressed based on xis parents fashion sense and how they wanted xim to look presentable, so trying to have xis own style also affects xim as xe doesn’t know what really suits xim.

Xavier tries to not let it bother xim, but it bothers xim a lot as xe feels like xe’s missing out on life; but especially trying to understand xis feminine side and being apart of a crowd or group. Xavier’s awkwardness and terrible social anxiety has limited xim ever more, making Xavier fearful of trying new things and stepping out of xis zone in fear of everything not working out, or that people won’t like xim.

People falsely assume that Xavier is a “sassy goth chick” who doesn’t take shit from anyone due to xis bluntness, flat expression, and unapproachable aura; but Xavier is just..scared.

Now that xe’s living a normal life, xe doesn’t understand how to be comfortable with it quite yet. What is “normal?” Xavier doesn’t understand. Being an adult and feeling underdeveloped and misguided is hard, and for Xavier especially, xe doesn’t like to ask for help or bother anyone with these problems because xe’s always so standoff-ish. Xavier doesn’t know how to fit in with other adults / people xis age.

Even when it comes to being a creative, Xavier doesn’t know where xe stands. In fact, being a freelance artist is pretty hard for xim, hence why xe has a job working at a cat cafe. And this was by xis own choosing as xe didn’t want xis parents money (even if that could have lasted xim a lifetime). Xavier was forced into a lot of hobbies and talents due to xis parents, but music is the one thing Xavier uses as a coping mechanism and is also xis whole world. However, since Xavier is so self-destructive, confused, and dealing with personal issues about ximself; Xavier has a conflicted relationship with the creative arts.

Xe can play the piano and both the electric and acoustic guitar, and is currently learning the crumbs. Xe sometimes makes instrumentals and beats on rare occasions as it’s not a huge hobby of vamps — and does art on the side. However, despite Xavier being skilled in some creative fields, Xavier struggles to see xis own talents, thus, disregarding and self-doubting xis abilities.

[miidnightgloom]

gonna share some positive trivia about Jovanni:

- hes obsessed with two shows called “Alien Supergirl” and “Horse Princess.”

“Horse Princess” is technically similar to MLP, except it’s for Princess Horses, lol. They solve mysteries, fight bad guys, and go on different kind of adventures while solving different kinds of problems. The main character of the show wants to do more than just be a princess, and so she and her friends go out into the horse princess world to figure out other worlds and discover more to life than being royalty.

Meanwhile, “Alien Supergirl” is a show starring an alien girl that also solves problems while trying to save her home planet from invaders and to bring an end to constant terrorism. (fun fact, she looks like Jovanni, hence his obsession!)

- Favorite kinds of blue are these:

- He has a walk in closet (yes, just like in the movies) and is probably the biggest room in my main Ocs household, Jayden being second.

- They aren’t really a dog person. them being scared of dogs just stemmed from childhood. However, he isn’t much of a cat person as much neither; Jovanni is mainly into birds and horses and farm animals. Even “ugly” animals are cute to him.

- Jovanni has another name (Jasmine) due to his mother (lore will be dropping soon…). Though, he doesn’t often use it and mostly likes to be referred to as Jovanni.

- He thinks Demarcus is secretly working for Santa at the north pole due to him being an elf.

- He likes a lot of sweets, especially if raspberries or blueberries are involved.

- Most people underestimate Jovanni, but yes, Jovanni can be strong (and this is due to farm work and helping his father!)

- Jovanni mostly talks in a baby voice. It’s mostly a force of habit, but it’s also comforting.

back then Jovanni used to age regress, but since I changed some stuff about him overtime, he no longer age regresses.

- He does find other colors cute, like purple, pink, & turquoise, but his heart belongs to the color blue.

- He doesn’t really admit it? But they do have a crush on Demarcus — it’s just not really obvious. In fact, they are really oblivious to the fact Demarcus crushes on them too.

[miidnightgloom]

making a world building doc is actually fun when you got so much free time

[miidnightgloom]

this post has been completely edited.

this is also to clear up some stuff and address something that’s been bothering me and take seriously. This post will be incredibly long, so please read it.

I wanna start this off by saying JOVANNI. IS. NOT. A. DUDE. Jovanni is both transgender and nonbinary and strictly uses he/they pronouns.

Jovanni is not a “supposed” dude. I have NEVER said that Jovanni was male, like, ever. Just because I refer to Jovanni or even address him as “he/him” does not equal to him being a dude. I have talked about Jovanni’s transition and his femininity before on my instagram, and I have made current post about it as well on this blog if you wanna look through his tag. Sure, he may have big tits and ass for a “guy” but again, JOVANNI IS NOT A DUDE. I have spoken about him not being a dude on multiple occasions and how he doesn’t even like to associate with being masculine or masculinity or being a man…hence why he transitioned to begin with.

Now many people equal pronouns to gender, but Jovanni does not! Again, just because I refer to him as he does not mean he’s a MAN. It’s actually baffling to say that when that person followed me and never bothered to bring this up, let alone discuss this with me. I am always willing to take questions and concerns about my ocs, and yet, nothing was said despite those doors being open.

As far as sexualizing Jovanni…yes. That’s something I’ve been doing way before i even THOUGHT of giving Jovanni the transgender label. Here’s some examples below:

Warning for suggestive art:

this is Jovanni’s old design: (he/they + nonbinary only at the time)

i also know that nonbinary falls under the transgender umbrella , but i felt more connected to Jovanni mostly because i made him nonbinary just like me.

And here’s how he looks now: (he/they + transgender and nonbinary currently)

Both his old design and new design have always had some suggestive artwork to them. Yeah, I’ll admit that i have made so many suggestive jokes about Jovanni and artwork simply because i’m a pervert, lmao, but also because i was highly immature at 18-19. I kinda found my humor in joking about his tits and butt funny, won’t deny that. However, Jovanni was a huge character I felt connected to and got more personal with, even more so when I decided to redesign him.

I really didn’t even care that I decided to make Jovanni transgender once I decided to redesign him, and I honestly would have kept them as nonbinary and leave it at that. Him being transgender NEVER had anything to do with me making suggestive content about him more than my other ocs lol, I was an immature perverted teen, that’s it & that’s all to it. Sexualizing him was actually something I did on PURPOSE, especially since I was (and still am) a suggestive artist.

Once I played around with Jovanni and dove more into their character and created lore for him, that’s when I felt like him being transgender would have been cool with him. Them being transgender ties into his whole identity and lore, and even now it still does.

Heck, not only is him being transgender apart of his identity and lore, but even when it came to Jovanni’s older design, i have ALWAYS wanted him to pick up things more from his mother, especially her appearance (shown below):

The top left image is how she looked during Jovanni’s old design, and the rest of the images are how she looks currently to Jovanni’s current design. Jovanni looking similar to his mother plays a lot into his lore as well, and while I don’t share too much about their mother due to her being an antagonist to Jovanni’s backstory — Jovanni and his mother are always gonna be alike and look the same. This is something Jovanni struggles with actually. But that’s a post for another day.

Anyway, I wanted to remake and reedit this post because I hated the way that I worded most of it, and I wanted to have a clearer mind on all of this to explain Jovanni better not as a cute design, but as a person as well. I have changed Jovanni so much during the pandemic up to now, and needless to say I feel like he’s came a long way.

Again, i’m not gonna shy away from admitting I made a lot of suggestive jokes and artwork about him due to being immature and finding those said jokes and posts funny and joking about my perverted ways, but it will never be my intentions to purposely sexualize or fetishize any transgender person to where it’s uncomfortable or find transgender people as a fetish PERIOD.

I never found trans people as a fetish, and I never will find them as a fetish. Do I suppose queer nsfw and sexual stuff? Yes! But that does not mean I indented to find anyone as a fetish or fetishize anyone, let alone Jovanni.

Jovanni is curvy and fat, and he is comfortable with his sexuality and gender. If anything — Jovanni is comfortable showing off and being sexual, not because it’s a “haha sex!” thing, but because he finds it liberating, powerful, and beautiful. Jovanni has always loved femininity and being more close to the women in his life than men. Heck, apart of him feels their mother may come back due to them transitioning into the “daughter she always wanted.”

Now I can see how i went about Jovanni at the time could of came off as fetishizing, and I was a small artist at that time (I guess having around 700-800 followers isn’t necessarily small?) and I genuinely didn’t think anyone was peeping me like that, nor was I caring about the content I was putting out because I was simply having fun with my art — minus the suggestive stuff.

Not everyone was around during my pandemic pip lore lol, but it was definitely…a time. I’m not gonna say I don’t have regrets and I do feel like half of the stuff I did back then was in poor taste or weird on my part, but I would never intentionally try to make anyone uncomfortable or harm anyone. And like I said, this person followed me and never once said anything to me — despite several times I’ve stated in the past that if I have done anything wrong to please let me know. I am open to hear any concerns!

So idk how these accusations even came about. I have talked about my ocs in the past, especially on my instagram because I loved to share information about them — hence why I decided to make this blog.

I also wanna state that I AM A SUGGESTIVE ARTIST. I WILL DRAW A LOT OF SUGGESTIVE CONTENT. I’m literally admitting i’m a pervert for my own ocs, trust me, you are gonna see suggestive artwork of them. My characters will be however I see fit, and no one is obligated to like them! But do not spread false accusations about me or my characters, especially when you don’t take the time to READ THINGS I WRITE ABOUT THEM.

Anywho, i hope this does clear up some stuff. I also hope this is the only time i have to address this. My characters, along with Jovanni, are gonna constantly be altered and changed. I didn’t necessarily make Jovanni to sexualize him 24/7, but because i wanted to have a black cute character that was girly and ditsy and loves cute shit. Sorry that i couldn’t execute that better or showcase that more. I also plan on making post / pre-transition artwork of Jovanni as well to dive into his character even further and showcase how they looked before.

I appreciate anyone who took the time to read this, it’s very much appreciated and i’m sorry that this was longer than expected.

my previous response will be shown here in case you wanna read post edit:

[miidnightgloom]

i never know what to call Xavier’s standard style or aesthetic, so i’m always just referring to him as alternative for the most part.

part of xim is masc half of the time and fem the other — even back then Xavier would mostly be masculine as far as xis appearance and etc (before I made Xavier nonbinary and such).

Xavier takes inspiration from both xis older siblings, but especially xis older brother, Ronnie. It really depends on what Xavier likes and wants to wear.

[miidnightgloom]

Just because Jayden is open to murder and allows it to solve most of his problems doesn’t mean he’s always finding murder as the one solution to solve his issues.

At least in his human form, Jayden can be unpredictable and mysterious. Since not many people know anything about his eldritch form — not even his close friends, Jayden is able to get away with…a lot lol. Don’t get Jayden wrong; he loves killing people and most of the time doesn’t have any regrets, but it’s not his only method as Jayden thinks of murder like a kid with it’s favorite toy.

He’s a clown, of course he’s gonna have tricks up his sleeve and may do other things that doesn’t require killing anyone at all. Even without being half an eldritch, Jayden is pretty capable of other things besides murder. Jayden just comes off as stupid and goofy because that’s within his nature, but he knows how to read a person well. His violent and sadistic ways indeed does more harm than good, but that’s what’s so fun about it. Jayden finds it more thrilling when he’s focusing on the mentality of a person or plays around in their head. Sure, death is one major side effect of getting on his bad side, but Jayden has a ton of other fucked up ways on how to traumatize a person. It depends on the person and how he chooses to handle his victims.

Sometimes it’s physiological, sometimes it’s mental, sometimes it may be verbal or emotional. Heck, he may just torture someone for the fun of it without resulting into tearing or cutting off their limbs or taking pieces of their bones.

Not much is truly known about Jayden since he can come off really eerie or uncanny, and being part eldritch does play with his mind and can affect the way he views the world, himself, and other people.

this is still an active thing i’m trying to play around with when it comes to his character, but to put it simply — Jayden is not redeemable because well, he doesn’t want to be redeemed lol. i’m mostly playing around with him as he doesn’t really have a deal…he’s just a silly guy who just so happens to be a menace. (intentionally)

[miidnightgloom]

thinking about how it’s been 5 years with my main ocs. life is really crazy!! i always made a ton of ocs back then and could never truly connect to them, so im just grateful i have characters i’m now obsessed over lol. really wouldn’t be the same without them and i probably wouldn’t be as interested in art if it weren’t for them.

believe artist when they say just being obsessed over a character (or having an obsession in general) will help your art improve in ways you would of never thought possible. love my silly guys!!

[miidnightgloom]

blood & creepier ver. under the cut