here is some french poetry i wrote :
douceur est marquée sur mon front, on me dit
douleur est réfléchie sur mes yeux, on m'a transmis
Chagrin et mélancolie m'ont accompagné depuis mon jeune âge
maintenant le bonheur prend doucement l'aspect d'une mirage
connaîtrai-je donc l'épanouissement un jour?
goûterai-je donc à la joie avant mon dernier jour?
deux décennies passées a fantasmer sur ce qui me semble désormais impossible
ressusciter les morts serait une chose bien plus plausible
Peut-être que cela me plaît au finale
peut-être que ma tristesse me rend jovial.
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if there is one thing i can be proud of is how soft and vulnerable i remain no matter all the shit life has put me through
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for the 1st time of my life, i feel truly understood
i hate how embarrassing and shameful desperation feels...like looking back at more recent times in my life where I was begging for love and care and then scorning myself for needing it is so so sad to me - it's so natural and human, even if it's unhealthy at times...people arent meant to be perfect well adjusted beings and it's so stupid to wish I was always in control and respectable
like i think of my most embarrassing moments of weakness in the last 5 years where i really put myself on blast and when i wipe away all the self hate and need for control i just see me there, needing a friend and trying to be genuine with myself and i cant believe i bully that person even in the privacy of my mind
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why do all my fav books end up with the main character killing herself
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The feminine urge to run away and burn my identity after i confidently gave the wrong answer in class
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Guys my family thinks that i am insane
( i mean they're right but still...)
♡♡♡♡♡♡
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not sure if I'm in my healing era or my "I'll fkn traumatise all the people that have done me wrong "
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they truly mistook my kindness for weakness guys
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I hate the fact that all my favourite books are written by deranged misogynists
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