mindeullebe - Tumblr blog

[mindeullebe]

[ drenched ]

𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐁𝐎𝐌𝐁 𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐀𝐋, Seoul, SK Early August, 2024 w. 𝐋𝐄𝐄 𝐍𝐎𝐄𝐋

There's a ferocity to the sun that feels almost suffocating. Mindeulle's skin, slathered in sunscreen, still feels as though it's burning. He checks, every now and than, a hand reaching up to his upper arms and the back of his neck to check it hasn't blistered from the unrelenting rays beating down on him. The only relief is the promise of getting absolutely drenched at the Waterbomb Festival, which Min would rather not admit he'd been looking forward to for months. At first, he'd thought he'd simply go alone, but then he'd mentioned it to Noel during one of their text conversation catch-ups, and they'd decided to meet up there.

It had been a long time since Min had gotten to see his friend in person. He knew Noel was busy being a trainee these days, and while a part of him was terribly jealous, he knew it wasn't something he could ever do anyway, so he managed to muster up the appropriate happiness for his friend. For a while, he'd taken comfort in them both being at a similar point in their lives, but now that Noel was so close to being a real idol, Min couldn't help but feel as though his own position, as a mere Literature student, paled in comparison.

Today, however, wasn't about their differences in life stages, it was simply about having fun, listening to music, and getting very, very wet. It seemed the perfect time for it, what with the sun trying to incinerate the entire population of Seoul. Min just hoped Noel had worn suncreen, though he'd brought his with him just in case. For a fraction of a second, Min envisions himself rubbing sunscreen over Noel's back, then realises he'd not going to be shirtless, and, flushing in embarrassment at his own imagination, hurries to the place they'd decided to meet at.

Along the way, he buys a watergun from one of the stalls; a nice medium sized one, blue and glittery, and very much Min's style. Then, he settles himself in some shade and waits. But he doesn't have to wait long before he spots him, his feline eyes and big, pouty lips instantly catching Mindeulle's eye. "Noel!" he calls out in excitement, waving a hand above his head.

[mindeullebe]

He's disarmingly cute, Mindeulle thinks to himself as he watches Shouta walk, noticing how his hips sway a little. He's got a delicate curvature to his body that Mindeulle could only dream of having. He prefers to view it on others, though. Appreciating how his eyes can travel down the slopes and hills of his body and never get bored of the sights. He'd found many a man attractive before, and a good variety of different looking ones at that, but Shouta is one kind of pretty that always stops Min in his tracks. It's hard to believe this is a *date*, and not simply him hanging out with someone attractive. That Shouta saw a picture of Min and thought he was cute enough for him.

"I'll think of one." He can already think of a few nicknames that suit Shouta purely on appearance. He vaguely resembles a rabbit, and a cat at the same time. "Nekogi, because you look like a cat-rabbit, maybe," he suggests. The way his eyes come to a sharp, upward point at the outer corner give a cat-like appearance, until he smiles and his prominent front teeth soften his image into that of a little bunny. Mindeulle had often wondered what animal *he* resembled, but he was afraid of receiving an unsatisfatory response; he didn't want to run the risk of being likened to a mouse or something.

Shoving his wallet back into his pocket, Mindeulle shakes his head and smiles down at Shouta. "But if I don't pay for the snacks, how am I going to see you blush again?" He teases, grinning as he takes note of the way Shouta's skin had been tinged with a pleasant pink hue. He's already quite pale, so it stands out beautifully. Though, as it dawns on him what he'd just said, he can't help but blush himself. He supposes he must have picked up *something* from Jindallae. Where else had that come from?

His stature, while not unusual to Min, given he was far taller than most of his friends, suits Shouta in a way that makes Min want to coo and pick him up. It makes something constrict in his chest. Of course someone as pretty as Shouta would be pretty on the inside too, he thinks as he listens to him talk of his ambitions. It makes sense that he'd want to do something as kind as rectify wrongs that he experienced himself. Min's not sure his own ambitions are as virtuous, and suddenly feels a little lacking beside this seemingly perfect little man.

In an effort not to embarrass himself, Min's careful as he takes his gold club and little basket of balls to the first little... *course*? Is that what it's called in golfing? "I'm a Korean Literature student. I'm afraid I don't have as noble a reason for picking my studies as you do. I just... always loved to write, and read, and I wasn't sure what else to do. I was never much good at anything else." It doesn't do to talk negatively about yourself on a first date, and yet Mindeulle can't really help it. It's a built in feature of him. "I suppose reading feels like an old friend. I wasn't able to make very many when I was young." Setting down his basket on the grass, he assess the small green area, and the hole at the other end that they need to get their balls into. "Do you want to go first?"

when he's told that he can call mindeulle 'min', shouta grins and nods; glad to know that there's already a softly casual vibe between them. it won't stop him from continuing to respect the hierarchy, per se, but it helps take the edge off, that's for sure. "min... that's cute," he admits, then shrugs. "no one really calls me by any nicknames, so i don't have another option to give you, but who knows? maybe you can give me a new one by the end of the night? it'll help me seem much cooler, or something." this is partially untrue. his teammates refer to him as grandma all the time, but that's not really a moniker that's impressive or attractive, so why would he want his date, of all people, to see him in that light? he's already showing up vertically-challenged and not-the-most-confident, so sharing anything that could be embarrassing seems like a horrible idea.

though, he's caught off-guard by min's compliment pertaining to his height, and he smiles in response; glad to know that shortness isn't a deal-breaker for him. "luckily for me, i'm used to looking up at most guys when i have to talk to them, too, so it works out! though, i may need a neck rub later on from all the straining. it can get tiring!" his statement ends with a chuckle, emphasizing that he's joking and that he's still a bit nervous for this. there's no time to remain paralyzed in that feeling though, and when mindeulle opens the door for him, he shuffles his way into the entryway of the mini-golf space; captivated by the lighting and music that pours out of the speakers.

"mmm, not really! i had to get on the train, but it was a short trip and the journey wasn't crazy. i kind of wish it was, though. i would've had stories to tell you. what about you?" in that moment, before he's able to protest, he catches min paying for both of their tickets. a part of him feels rude for not offering to split the cost with him, but at the same time, he finds it incredibly romantic that min took it upon himself to do that. it honestly makes his heart flutter a little, but he does his best to remain composed, despite flushing. "th-thanks for getting the tickets," he begins, softly shy. "if you want, i can get the snacks later? whatever you're comfortable with..."

he knows that, technically speaking, the senior in the dynamic is meant to treat the junior, but being that this is a date, he thinks it's important they play by their own rules, too. "ah, i see that jiwoo played the same tactic with you, too. they refused to tell me much about you either." he laughs, keeping close to mindeulle; near-about glued to his side as they walk. "i study education at korea university. it's my goal to someday be an educator!" hopefully that doesn't make him sound like a stiff. "i didn't have the best time in school, so i want to be someone that helps kids feel safe, and seen. that's the dream anyway."

once they retrieve their clubs and other supplies, he bows toward the attendant, then starts heading toward their first zone. "what about you? what are you studying?"

[mindeullebe]

Mindeulle had never had problems with speaking. Not in front of friends, strangers, or even on stage. He's never been one to doubt his words, and yet, right now, he finds himself turning a multitude of greetings over in his mind, trying desperaly to find the perfect one. He'd met handsome men before, but he'd never been on a date with one. It's hard to believe this is a date. That Shouta had seen a picture of Mindeulle and agreed to go out, in a romantic sense, with him, to test the waters and see how they fit. The potential riding on this suddenly dawns on Min, and he wonders how he's going to make someone like Shouta find him desirable. A man this pretty must have people climbing over each other for a chance at a date with him. So, how on earth did Min have a date with Shouta handed to him so easily?

"Nice to meet you, Shouta. You can call me Min, if you want." It's hard to keep his smile to a casual, relaxed one, when the corners threaten to split wider and wider with every passing second. He's here, on a date, with the prettiest boy he'd ever seen. Him. He can't help but laugh a little at his apology for being short, as if Mindeulle isn't used to most people being shorter than him. "Don't worry, I'm used to it." He says, but hurriedly adds on, "Your height suits you. I like it." Though this only succeeds in making the fire in the tips of his ears spread down his neck.

"Mmhmm, let's go." He turns to hold the door open for Shouta, his eyes locked on him, taking in the way the sun reflects off his dark hair, and the two front teeth are are a little longer than the rest. He's built delicately, but in a different way to Min. He'd got some shape to him, and yet he's still small and slim, where Min is straight up and down and stick-like. It's as if Shouta were created, rather than simply born. Surely a lucky draw of genetics can't be that lucky. "Did you have to travel far to get here?" Min asks as they near the ticket booth. Without really thinking, Min pays for both of their tickets, and then as he slips his card back into his wallet, and he wonders whether that will be a point for or against him on the scoreboard of their date.

"So..." It's much harder to think of what to say when Shouta's standing there beside him making him feel, for perhaps the first time in his life, big and strong. Though Min knows for a fact he's neither of those things where it counts. "I'm afraid Jiwoo didn't tell me that much about you. What do you study?" Min enquires as they head to the little window where they pick up their golf clubs. He'd been a little irritated that Jiwoo had told him absolutely nothing other than Shouta's name, age, and where he knew him from, but now he realises it was perhaps a blessing; he's at least got a good few generic questions lined up for him to get the conversation going.

maybe it's embarrassing and pathetic that shouta pines after romance so desperately, but he's forever been this way. he's always possessed an absolute shamelessness when it comes to his need for affection, so much so that it seeps from his very being. it beats from his aching heart and glows from his lonesome soul in a manner that's overwhelming, smothering even. it's not for the faint of heart, and that includes himself sometimes, but he can't exactly help himself.

throughout his entire life, he's dreamed about what it would be like to find someone to love, and who loves him just as much; to meet a man that makes him want to dig his hands into his chest cavity to retrieve his heart, then surrender it to him in a manner so intimate, so vulnerable, that it exhilarates him in more ways than just one.

this is eternally on his mind, and it's only amplified by the romance-heavy content that he consumes in hefty quantities. web-comics, dramas, novels, poetry books, literally anything that allows him to read with his coveted rose-tinted glasses on is on his radar, and it's created what could be described as an addiction to all things love.

he yearns for it, hurts for it, so when a friend of his informed him of a possible blind date with another colleague of theirs, shouta sprung at the chance.

now, does that make him any less nervous now that the night of the date has arrived? not in the slightest, but he hopes that the nervousness that swathes him will soon settle into comfy excitement; into delicate fluttering butterflies instead of the demons that accompany anxiety. though, when he arrives at the mini-golf course and immediately spots who he's meant to be meeting, his heart beats so hard it near pounds its way out of his body.

he's tall. like, really, really, really tall. he's handsome, too, and the way he lifts his hand to wave makes him look like a leading man in one of the many tv series shouta's hooked on. this moment paralyzes him almost, and he pauses in place to take everything in; feeling it deeply. after, he raises his own hand and waves back; one that's timid, but still warm; like a spring breeze.

ambling toward him, he only becomes more intimidated when they stand face-to-face. it also doesn't help that he needs to angle his head upward to look at him. that alone creates a somewhat daunting dynamic. come rain or shine though, shouta makes sure to smile, then bow. he's the junior in this situation, and the last thing he wants to be is rude. "hi—mindeulle?" he asks upon straightening his posture; sweet.

"i'm shouta, jiwoo's friend. it's nice to meet you!" his cheeks are flushed, but he hopes that his date can't tell. "i... i'm sorry that you have to look down while you talk to me. i thought about wearing platforms, but i don't think they would've helped that much." with that, he laughs; placing one of his hands on the back of his neck.

"are you ready to go inside?"

[mindeullebe]

[ FIRST DATES ]

𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐈-𝐆𝐎𝐋𝐅, Seoul, SK Late August, 2023 w. 𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐀 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐀

In all the twenty-two years of Mindeulle's life, he'd never been on a date. Isn't that lame? He'd tried to put it from his mind, and had been, up until recently, somewhat successful. He'd put aside any romantic desires to focus on his education. Or at least that's what Min likes to tell himself when he remembers that he's a fully grown man still sort of stuck on his first love. Not that that first love knows, or ever will know how Min feels. After all, he'd decided to move on from that, and try and actually step into the world of romance and relationships that moved past mere friendship.

That's what had landed him here, standing outside the mini-golf course, waiting for a man he'd seen only one picture of before. He knows that Shouta's shorter than him, and looks sort of like a cat-rabbit. The friend who'd set him up on this 'blind date' hadn't told him much past that. In all honesty, Min's not sure why he agreed to it. He'd never been on a date, so why was his very first one with someone he didn't even know? What if it went terribly? Sure, this guy looked really cute, but what if he wasn't nice? What if he thought Min wasn't cool enough? Or worse, what if he laughed at Mindeulle's atrocious golfing skills?

He's contemplating calling his friend to tell them to call this whole thing off, when he sees him. He's far smaller than Min imagined he'd be, and his eyes almost resemble those fo a deer, big and searching. He's pretty, so much so that Mindeulle feels himself grow far more nervous than he already had been. He realises a part of him hopes to impress this pretty boy, though another part of him assures him that he won't. It isn't that Min's insecure, because he isn't, he's just realistic. He's skinny, and that mixed with his height gives people the overall impression of a beansprout. He's not cool in th slightest; he's a book nerd. All he knows about this boy is that he's breathtakingly beautiful, and that he's a student at KU.

Mustering up the courage, he lifts a hand to wave to him, trying to catch his attention. He's here now, and perhaps Min can at least make this a fun outting, even if he has no idea how to make it a good date.

[mindeullebe]

There's something about eating Jindallae's cooking that always succeeds in making Mindeulle feel safe, and comforted. It's like an internal hug. However, Min had found himself avoiding it sometimes, as though indulging too much and too often would dampen the pleasure that comes with it; that he might appreciate it less. In truth, Min's appetite alludes him as often as sleep does, as though his body is still finding ways to sabotage him, even after all it's previous attempts that landed him in hospital. "I was studying. I've got exams coming up and it slipped my mind. I wasn't really hungry." His excuses, he knows, are weak, especially in his brothers eyes.

"You're eating for the both of us." Min jokes, the corner of his lips pulled up in a silent chuckle. His second bite is much slower, as though if he eats slowly enough he'll be able to remember how good it is for longer. Perhaps the memory of this meal can carry him through the rest of the week, and he won't need to feel guilty about forgetting meals. It comes, he supposes, with living such a sedentry life. He doesn't move much, and so he doesn't need much fuel. Unlike his brother—even thinking about Jindallae's life makes Min feel physically exhausted.

"Not really. I should study at some point tomorrow but I could spare a few hours for my favourite twin." The longer he eats, the less stunted his biting, chewing, and swallowing becomes, as though the rhythm of eating is coming back to him, as if he'd previously forgotten how. "Sometimes I wonder what I'd be doing if I didn't go to college... But I can't really imagine anything else. What else could I even do?" He'd thought of himself doing a job like Jin's once or twice, but it was so outrageous he'd scoffed and discarded the thoughts. He'd envisioned being some kind of corporate lacky, running around in a suit, filing things and sending passive aggressive emails. That hadn't seemed right either. Truly, Min wasn't sure he had a clear vision of his future. He constantly felt as though he was merely wandering through life, letting life happen, rather than really living it wit hany true purpose.

"Did I tell you about the time Mr Jeon, from Biology in high school, told me he thought I could be a doctor? I almost laughed at him." Perhaps in another life Min *could have* been a doctor, had he not had the start to life that he'd endured. Hospitals were somewhere he avoided like the plague. He'd spent enough time in them growing up to to last him a lifetime. "I'll be disappointed if you don't continue doing something with food... You can become my personal chef after I make millions selling my debut novel."

jindallae doesn't realize it right in this moment, but he and mindeulle have had many nights like this. they did so even as children. after lights-out, jindallae would retrieve snacks from his backpack to share with his brother, and the two of them would chat for a couple hours. topics would vary, but they were often about dreams, and aspirations, and about how annoying their parents are; whatever crossed their minds. these moments were—and are—the only times jindallae feels like he can be honest in confronting his emotions, in expressing them, too, and he cherishes them more than anything.

times have changed though, as they grew up, the snacks jindallae bought from the convenience store turned into his experimental meals as he taught himself to cook, and now, he serves beautifully presented, absolutely delicious midnight eats after years, and years, of accumulating knowledge. his favorite part of times like these, though, is whenever he can catch mindeulle's reaction to the food he makes. it still makes him smile when people enjoy his cooking, but it's especially sweet whenever it comes from his twin.

"what do you mean you 'forgot' to have dinner?" he asks, raising a brow at his brother. "set an alarm on your phone to remind you, or something. it looks like you've lost weight." his observation is only one of concern, even if it's spoken somewhat roughly. he realizes that min's a hard worker just like him, and well, that comes with some downsides. "i'm a fuckin' chef, like... just tell me when you're hungry."

to him, it's that simple. he'd drop whatever he's doing to make min something to eat. any loved one, really. it matters to him that they're fed. "m'glad you like it. i got hungry, i don't know... it sounded good. i ate earlier, but i guess with how much i've been working out, my appetite has just gotten kinda huge." he's in the best shape he's ever been in his life, and honestly? he has no idea how it happened. it just did. "i've got the morning off and figured stayin' up a little late wouldn't be so bad. you got any plans in the morning?"

if he doesn't, maybe they could chill. he's been meaning to catch mindeulle up on some shit anyway.

[mindeullebe]

Sometimes, sleep took hold of Mindeulle with such force that he felt battered and bruised by it's grip the next day. Others, however, it alluded him, hiding in the shadows of his moonlight-streaked bedroom, just outside the glow of his desk lamp, under which he worked, hunched and perhaps overly caffeinated. Tonight he'd found it in him to turn off the light and battle with his bedsheets, trying to find a position that might let him slip into a restful sleep. The steadily darkening circles beneath his eyes, made up of the darkness in his room sinking into his skin, but never deep enough to reach his brain and shut it off for a while, really weren't a great look on him, and he was determined to rid himself of them. However, as he lays there, thankful that the baby blue, star-shaped clock on his wall doesn't tick, the minutes pass by in almost-silence—the ever-present hum of the city outside the walls of the apartment a premanent backing track to his life.

At some point, he must have dozed off, because he's suddenly awoken by a noise from the kitchen. Probably Jindallae, he thinks. Well, since he's awake now, and doubts his chances of falling back asleep, Mindeulle clambers out from under the covers, almost tripping as the sheet tangles around his legs. It's still sort of cold at night, despite summer tiptoeing on the horizon, teasing them with it's warm fingertips every few days. He pulls a hoodie on, then goes off in search of his brother, and whatever he might be doing.

Often, during the day, Mindeulle finds himself lacking an appetite. But then night falls and it's as if a bottomless pit opens up inside him and he could eat forever. So, despite his mild confusion, the sight of the meal prepared in the twilight hours pleases him, leaving him hopeful for a taste of whatever it might be. "It's okay, I was struggling to sleep anyway." He mumbles, sliding into a seat at the table and eyeing the food. His stomach rumbles, accepting the offer for him.

"Thanks... I think I forgot to have dinner. I was studying for an exam." He watches Jindallae, smiling as he bites into his food. Mindeulle had always enjoyed watching his loved ones eat; there was something so comforting about it. Satisfied that his brothers eating well, he picks up his half of the sandwich and takes a slightly more reasonably sized bite, his eyes closing as a blissful moan vibrates in his throat. He takes his time chewing, savouring it. As often as Mindeulle forgets it, or has little appetite for it, he truly is a food lover, and he knows no better cook than his brother.

"This is so good. Well worth being woken up for." Washing it down with a sip of the plum tea, Mindeulle smiles. "So, why are you cooking so late at night?"

MIDNIGHT SNACK 조진달래 → 조민들레

although his sleeping patterns have been more consistent lately, there'll be at least one or two nights per week where jindallae simply can't rest. in the past, he'd try and force himself to—digging his limbs into his mattress in sheer desperation, while constantly fighting with his own mind; screaming at it to shut off for once. now, instead of being so stubborn, he chooses to give in; relenting by pulling himself out of bed and busying himself until he feels more tired. some nights, he kills time by doing an extra hundred push-ups, others he leaves the warmth of his home to go for a walk around the block. tonight, he's in the kitchen with his stomach roaring at him for sustenance.

he's not doing the most efficient job, but he's spent the last half an hour lazily slapping together the most monstrous gilgeori toast sandwich he's probably ever made. it's full to the brim with all the works, smashed between perfectly toasted pieces of bread, and cut diagonally in half; its filling remaining intact based on how he prepared it. jindallae admires it for a few seconds, and right when he's about to pick it up and inhale it, he looks up and sees his brother enter the kitchen; confused.

"fuck, did i wake you up?" he asks, immediately feeling bad. "m'sorry, man... i guess i didn't realize i was being that noisy." with that, he interrupts himself with a yawn, then uses one of his forearms to rub at his eyes. "want half a sandwich? i was gonna make myself some plum tea, too... i can double-up, just say the word. it's the least i can do for getting you outta bed." before mindeulle even answers him, he's ambling over to the fridge to grab his favorite plum concentrate.

swiftly, he pours up to glassfuls of their iced beverage; setting one in front of his brother at the table before joining him with his. "there—we're all set now." once he's back to where he started, he picks up his portion of food and takes a massive bite of it; cheeks overstuffed with deliciousness while he chews, gesturing his head toward his brother, non-verbally asking him if he thinks it's good.

[mindeullebe]

hi there!! i'm bear (h/h, 25) and i've returned after being away for many months with a muse i've never written before but am very excited to dig into. cho mindeulle (20011027) is the twin brother of @jindallaebe, however he's very different. here you can find his profile, and eventually i'll have his biography here. i'll leave a tl;dr version and some fun facts under the cut, and as always please like this if you'd like to plot and i'll hop into your IMs, or if you'd prefer, i have discod (upon request)!

min was born premature, and due to this suffers from ongoing health problems. these health problems were much more pronounced when he was young, but now the only things he deals with are shitty stamina, asthma, and a pretty crappy immune system

he spent a lot of time in the hospital as a child for various things from inections to pneumonia to flu's that he should have been able to fight off on his own but couldn't etc. up until middle school he frequented the hospital, though nowadays manages to stay out of the hospital (he likes to attribute it to the fact he takes about a million vitamins and supplements daily)

during his hospital stays he'd fill his time with reading, writing (stories, poems, songs etc), listening to music and watching mainly the music channels on the little tv in his room

despite being ill quite a lot, he managed to keep up with his schoolwork, and genuinely really enjoyed learning and studying, so was always near the top of the class and became class president towards the latter half of middle school and a few times during high school

he never seriously considered music as a career, despite really liking singing as a hobby and writing lyrics to express things he didn't feel he could talk about. instead he decided to pursue literature, since he loved reading so much

he graduated from high school top of his class and secured a place on the korean literature degree course at seoul national university, but postponed it until he'd completed his military service. due to his asthma and shoddy immune system he was assigned a 'civil service' type position, but had to serve for 21 months, intead fof 18

he was discharged in december of 2021, and began his degree in march 2022

the usual places min can be found are coffee shops around snu, or jongno area, libraries, bookstores, cat cafes, or his bedroom

min comes off as calm and polite, and almost a little too agreeable. it can come off as naivete sometimes, and he's very easy to pin as a weak person, physically and in will, but he's really not, he just doesnt play all his cards immediately

mins incredibly smart, which is how he got into a SKY university in the first place, and surprisingly creative

many people see min as a sweet, book nerd who never shouts or gets angry, has every vitamin known to man in his bag, along with hand sanitser and multiple kinds of masks, and has a great love of sweets

[mindeullebe]

[mindeullebe]

[mindeullebe]

[mindeullebe]

🎮