mindofaj-blog1

[mindofaj-blog1]

Had just one morning to photograph sunrise in the Tetons and this happened right as the alpenglow was kissing the peaks. Incredibly lucky. [OC] [1600x1068] - toenailsfromaman

[mindofaj-blog1]

a gloomy October morning in Ljubljana

[mindofaj-blog1]

Bones

Bones. They look hard as a rock on the outside, yet, they’re so easy to break. That’s why in boxing, we wrap our wrists, to avoid our bones from breaking. Well me? I’m kind of like bones. - I seem strong enough on the outside, but it doesn’t take much to break me. And instead of wrapping my bones to protect them from impact, I put up walls and shun people out. Well at least for a while I did; But eventually I got tired of securing myself behind my wall, and lost sight of why I put them up in the first place; So, I did the unthinkable- took my walls down and started letting people in. Disappointment after disappointment I was continuously giving people the benefit of the doubt. Why? I guess I just thought no one would intentionally try and hurt me. But that’s not how the world works, Asmaa. Remember why you put your wall up in the first place? Remember how many fakes you let in that pretended they had love for you but really only had malicious intent? Remember how many fucking times you been lied to? Left out? Cheated on? Tormented? Stabbed in the fucking back? Yea, me too. At first it costed you happiness, but as you get older, you have a lot more to lose, and the stakes get higher. This time around it costed you, your job, your income, your happiness, and your mental. So the next time you want to let a motherfucker in, remember why you wrap your wrist before you start a fight.

-A.J.A

[mindofaj-blog1]

[mindofaj-blog1]

How to be Single.

From when we are young we have been exposed to something overly glorified again and again and again- Relationships, love and marriage. We’re shown that the best life is lived by loving a being, that the best love is through having a partner, and that the ideal end goal is to get married, have kids and live happily ever after. Knowing this, it’s the idea of love that sparks us to long for a soul mate. From a young age we start to produce feelings of infatuation and ever so desperately would love to act on them. Seventh grade is my earliest memory of falling trap into my first crush. I wanted nothing more than the feeling to be mutual and for bigger things to develop out of this crush. But why? Why crave a relationship with someone you aren’t totally in love with? Well I was 12 then, but I’m 22 now and oddly enough, I sometimes find myself in the exact same predicament.

Think about it for a minute- when was the last time you got into a relationship because you fell in love with a person and not just because you liked them and were hoping to fall in love with them one day? we all have standards and for someone to fill the spot of a lifetime of commitment with me, they simply have to meet them. After my last relationship, I came to the realization that just because I date a guy, it doesn’t mean I owe them a committed relationship. I made a promise to myself that the next time I jumped into a relationship, it would stem organically. Love first, commitment later. Now with that being said, I refuse to look for my love, or mope around about being single- instead I’ve created a set of rules for myself that I live by.

1). Enjoy your time being single. Chances are you are going to be tied down with someone for a longer portion of your life than you are single; which means you don’t need to compromise anything for anyone right now. It also means you can be selfish with your love, which leads me to my next point…

2).  LOVE YOURSELF.

Notice the emphasis font effects I placed on that? Yeah that’s because I can’t stress this one enough! You are going to be in your body for the rest of your life, its time you get comfortable in it! Wear that mini skirt, rock that bikini, throw on that tank top and let your pits breath in public! More importantly, do it to liberate yourself, and not for anyone or anything else. Embrace yourself, compliment yourself, impress yourself and self- love will come easy.

3). Personal Development. work on yourself so that you are always the best version of yourself. Set goals and overcome them. You can't achieve rule #2 without this one; You will find yourself constantly unhappy with yourself, unless you get up and do something to improve your life. And as intimidating as Personal development is, the key to having it all together is super simple- get it together. It's really not that hard, it just takes a little commitment and push. It also doesn’t hurt to fake it- if you believe it, everyone else will too!

4). Flirt shamelessly. YOU. ARE. SINGLE. Now is your time to experiment. You will never know who you like, what you like and what you don’t like without putting yourself out there to find out. And don’t ever doubt yourself either; you are beautiful and deserve to have a little fun! So, bat your eyes, show off your butt and go in for the kill with that cute guy at the bar. Lust is the #1 thing people lack in their single years because THEY deprive THEMSELVES of it. Being single shouldn’t stop you from getting play- that’s what marriage is for.

5). Spoil yourself. While many of us tend to not think twice about buying something for our significant other, we deprive ourselves all the time for no fricken reason. Buy yourself a drink, take yourself out, buy all the items in your cart once in a while, get yourself that coat that costs too much but you been dying for and don’t feel guilty about it! Here’s a co- rule: if you would spend that much on your future partner, spend it on yourself.

Living by these rules has led me to such happiness that getting into a relationship at this point almost seems like a burden. The reason why we all crave a relationship is because we want someone to fill a void in our lives; whether that be love, going on dates, pleasure, sense of security and god knows what else. We look for all these things in others when we don’t even realize we have the power to give ourselves all those things already.  

- A.A