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So What Happened to This Blog?

Hi everyone, Caitlin here! I know a lot of people following us found us through our quotes we used to post every week, and we really appreciate your support for our campaign!

Originally we had a plan to record our sessions and edit them into a series of podcast, but due to reasons that are different for each member, we’ve all come into personal circumstances that don’t allow this to happen in the foreseeable future.

We’d love to keep updating this page with quotes, art, and other stories, but our original DM Adam had been DMing for a long time, and wanted to play instead. So, our campaign in the desert world of Dresuna has been put on hold, and we’ve been playing Out Of The Abyss with another DM for the past few months.

We could always revive this blog with updates from this current campaign, but we do have the intention of going back to our original one eventually, as it is far from finished. If anyone is still invested in this blog, please let us know what you think!

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Surrounded by Kuo-Toa....

Brad: We’re all gonna die here....

Caitlin: We’ve survived worse!

Kieran: We’ve also died to easier.

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Update: 50 followers!

Thank you guys so much for being interested in our adventures, as summer rolls around and we all get less busy, we hope to edit our past sessions and release them on youtube, but regardless of what happens there we’ll keep uploading art and of course our weekly quotes.

- Caitlin

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D&D Quotes of the Night 4/21/17

This was kind of a non-canon filler session because we couldn’t continue the story without everyone...lovingly named the “beach episode”

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Adam: Like...maybe instead of killing the illithid, you can play beach volleyball with it!

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Thorne is working at the concession stand because her player isn’t here, I didn’t know Thorne could cook!

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Caitlin: she rolled a NAT 20! Because she’s EXTRA PERCEPTIVE IN THE WATER

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Kieran: How good is Thorne at making shaved ice?

Adam: She needed to remake the ice flavored shaved ice. That’s how good she is at it.

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Kieran: Feruzi asks Thorne “Do you have....Ice?”

Adam: Make a dexterity saving throw.

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Ciar: 2+2 IS FOUR!!!

Liadan: Ciar...what..?

Ciar: Maybe it likes math...

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Brad: Ciar overhears that Feruzi is an actor, and yells “GAY!!!” from really far away

Feruzi: THANKS!!!

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We’re having a beach party with every creature on our list of creatures to track down and apprehend/kill

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Oliver: Is the human form male, female, neither..?

Adam: Uhhhh...it’s vaguely female.

Oliver. Perfect.

Caitlin: Is Xylia going to flirt with the slime????

Oliver: Yes.

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Caitlin: Does Xylia want to fuck the slime?? I’m kinkshaming.

Oliver: No, no, she’s good and pure, she just likes it

Caitlin: Okay slimefucker

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Brad: A DIMF. A dude I might fuck.

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Adam: If Sunny gets fucked to death by a dragon, that’s on you.

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After nearly being drowned in the chest of a slime..

Xylia: She took my breath away...

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Brad: Isn’t a union basically just a guild?

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Took a trip to the depths of the city in our dnd session tonight, it was a big hecking adventure

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D&D Quotes of the Night 4/15/17

Caitlin: Just cause she doesn’t know a lot about civilization doesn’t mean she doesn’t know what sex is!

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Nerezza: He used to do things like this all the time, but they weren’t usually hands.

Everyone: What were they???

Nerezza: Usually eyes.

Adam: This is why Thri-Kreen eat elves!! You’re fucking weird!!

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How Ciar and Feruzi sit at human sized tables

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Rizun: Sunny rolled a 0. She’s too busy thinking of dick.

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Feruzi: please don’t cut off my arm

Nerezza: I’m not going to cut off your arm...

Emily: Can I make an insight check?

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Brad: Ciar is going to walk over to this side of the table, for a non meta-game reason

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We discovered that this strange token we’ve been seeing in random places that we’ve lovingly nicknamed “The Rowing Man” because it is just a man rowing, saying nothing, doing nothing else, represents an aberration that has been following us for a very long time altering memories, eating people, and making us forget things. Our immediate response of love has turned into an immediate response of fear.

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Thorne: Can you do what you did before? Create a portal to get us far away?

Bartender: Where do you need to go?

Thorne: As far away from here as possible.

Feruzi: No...that’s pretty far.

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Xylia (Oliver’s new character): I don’t know why I’m here..I don’t know how I ended up here?

Feruzi: Happens to everyone, happens to the best of us.

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Kieran: Feruzi is gonna get a little bit jealous, and just sign to him in Thieves Cant “I know”

Brad: THAT’S SO FUCKING THREATENING

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Caitlin: Hey, if Feruzi and Ciar are best friends, and Sunny and Xanthos WERE best friends, who is Liadan’s best friend?

Emily: HEY GUUURL

Caitlin: THORNE HAS NO FRIENDS

Kieran: Liadan’s best friend is the glass of water she got served at the tavern.

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We have some really good tokens

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Xylia: Separating is the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard.

Liadan: We aren’t separating.

Sunny: Wanna hear a stupider idea? Carpeted bathrooms.

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Ciar: It’s like an episode of Magic School Bus! Haven’t you ever seen that play?

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Adam: These knives cut through this thing like butter.

Brad: 1000 degree knife versus Terrasque

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Adam: I want you to know you guys did 137 damage that round.

Kieran: And I did a whole 5 of it!

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The rowing man monster

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D&D Quotes of the Night 4/8/17

Ciar: I can tell there’s aberrations here somewhere...

Liadan: Do you know where?

Ciar: No, somewhere around here in the alley

Feruzi: Xanthos, go further down the alley

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Xanthos: I just...I just want you to know...if I die.... Sunny?

Sunny: What’s up?

Xanthos: Can you hold my hands?*

*Xanthos keeps pairs of hands from our enemies in his bag for his friend to do research on.

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god, xanthos fucking died, i cant think of a good quote for this, its so tragic, our characters don’t even know, im so sad im dying,

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Brad: So the pain does nothing, got it, Ciar stabs himself.

Caitlin: Um, can I roll a perception check, or is this a bad time?

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Sunny: You think my sister would let Lunary out of her sight after he disappeared for weeks?!?!

Feruzi: I don’t know jack shit, my fuck

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Brad: Ciar rubs his hand in the dirt

Ciar: There! All better!

Adam: And that’s how you get tetanus.

Brad: Ciar grew up on the streets, he’s not gonna get that! Build up an immunity, he already has tetanus.

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Oliver: Xanthos rolls in his grave...

Caitlin, almost crying: XANTHOS DOESNT HAVE A GRAVE

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Brad: Ciar knocks down the door.

Adam: Good luck with that, you’re a halfling.

Brad: He’s a STRONG halfling. With a BATTLE AXE.

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Rizun: Check the bathroom, because Xixi never goes alone...

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Oliver: If you die in D&D...you die in real life....

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We were fucking shook

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Brad: Consciousness is ALWAYS a problem.

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D&D Quotes of the Night 3/25/17

(we’re facing something that keeps making us forget it)

Brad: Does anyone remember how eleven dealt with the silence?

Kieran: Arm marks

Brad: No, at like the end..there was something with a TV broadcast? we don’t have that.

Oliver: WE DONT HAVE TELEVISION

Kieran: Are there any other pop culture references we can make?

Rizun: Let’s push it somewhere else.

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Liadan: right, can someone give him directions? someone who knows the city better?

Feruzi: It’s the second star to the right and straight on til morning.

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Adam: Wait...Rizun...is Sunny actually divination?

Everyone: In this economy?

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Kieran: *weird noise*

Caitlin: Kieran what was that?

Kieran: Oh, a die fell out of my mouth.

Caitlin: Why was it in your mouth??

Kieran: ....You can’t see me.

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Caitlin: Liadan doesn’t think he’s bad because there’s no ill intent, yet.

Rizun: You don’t know that! He’s GREASY.

Brad: He’s probably greasy cause he’s a fish fucker.

Rizun: People around here are desperate for water, you know.

Adam: You could say he was pretty thirsty.

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Sunny: Remember, it’s called the ABC’s. the third letter is C.

Caitlin: ITS NOT CANON THAT SHE DOESNT KNOW THE THIRD LETTER OF THE ALPHABET!!!

Adam: Roll.

Caitlin: Roll what?

Adam: Raw intelligence.

Caitlin: Alright, I’ll roll it on the computer, I didn’t get my dice out today.

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We proceed to argue for about 15 minutes about the alphabet.

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Oliver: At least we can all agree on something, mayonnaise is disgusting.

Everyone: Proceeds to discourse about mayonnaise for 20 minutes.

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Brad: We’re not paying for this!

Caitlin: We never said we were...

Brad: I’m just specifying.

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Feruzi: We can’t tell anyone we got our ass kicked by dogs....cause we shouldn’t have gotten our ass kicked by dogs.

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Brad: I have a question. Ciar, as a frequenter of brothels, would I be able to tell if it was a human bite mark or like..human adjacent bite mark.

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Adam: Okay, would you like me to edit the party’s gold for some extra costs?

Caitlin: ARE YOU SPENDING THE PARTY’S GOALS ON GOING TO BROTHELS?!?!

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Oliver: Xanthos has one of those eureka moments!

Kieran: A brain blast, call it by it’s real name.

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D&D Quotes of the Night 3/18/17

We had to cut our session short tonight because of people not feeling well, so we don’t really have much this week. But here it is, you weekly dose of Minimum Damage quotes

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Rizun: How much would we sell part of Caitlin’s soul for?

Emily: 3.99

Kieran: All the change in Mr. Krabs’s pocket.

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Thorne: If this thing is messing with our state of mind..is there any way we can protect ourselves from it?

Sunny: Well, Lunary doesn’t have a state of mind so he can come help!

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Sunny: Well, I could just get pen and paper and write it down..?

Liadan: That..is a very simple solution. We should think of them more often.

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Caitlin: Good dog!

Kieran: God, I wish that were me.

Caitlin: You wish you could see the dog?

Adam: I thought you meant you wish you were the dog.

Kieran: I ain’t a furry.

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Oliver: Kieran, that thing you sent me on snapchat was cursed.

Kieran: No it’s not.

Oliver: it’s cursed!

Kieran: That’s my face.

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A screenshot from our roll20

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Kieran: You know, going out on a limb, I think maybe roll20 isnt the best program for drawing.

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a lovely xanthos commission, done by @milkychai! :)

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D&D Quotes of the Night 3/11/17

Caitlin: I thought I was your favorite?

Oliver: You are, but that doesn’t mean I like you.

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Caitlin: This is a rhetorical question, I really want to know what would cause Liadan to randomly take 3d10  damage.

Adam: Farzok might not see you, and he could sit on you. That could do it.

Brad: Farzok is t h i q u e.

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Adam: Kieran, you’re sick.

Kieran: ...correct.

Adam: Do you know what you get when you’re sick?

Kieran: ...Laid.

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Brad: No, the inspiration is from the buff “Found your lost sibling”

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Rizun: Lunary is just gonna start defiling again.

Caitlin: Don’t tell Liadan and Xanthos.

Oliver: Yeah, don’t tell Xanthos or he’s gonna crunch you. Give you the good crunch.

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Caitlin: Before I start, is my audio okay?

Kieran: Yeah, we can hear you.

Liadan: Okay, we-   R̮͢O͚̰͈̘̱B̬̲͘O̘̩̣̙̹͠T̙̲͈͙͉ ̩͇̖̞͝N̙͙̣̺̺Ọ̞͝I̤̪S̬̜E̵̼̼̬̥͖͈ͅS̠̀

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Adam: Liadan and Thorne are going to be the next to get magic items.

Oliver: What the fuck, I know that you hate me but-

Caitlin: He rolled, I heard the dice

Oliver: I know that the dice hate me-

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Adam: Next will be Xanthos and Lunary. I mean Sunny. Sun, moon, what’s the difference? The moon is just the back of the sun anyway.

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Adam: I think..I just came up with a magic item. Catchable Hands.

Everyone: *LARGE EXCITED GASP*

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Adam: I should probably NOT have doors to the outside on the second and third floors....

Kieran: EXTREME Windows

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Caitlin: Why can the dryad make trees but Liadan can’t make water?

Brad: BECAUSE TREES ARE REAL

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Liadan: What is that...I’ve never seen one before?

Feruzi: Well, trees...are magic. And I, am a rogue.

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Adam: Suffering? Is suffering shiny?

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Adam: Let’s see...Thorne is probably reasonably fucking ripped.

Rizun: Did you hear about Thorne?

Kieran: I heard she has an 8 pack.

Brad: I heard that she’s SHREDDED.

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Adam: Kieran, high or low.

Kieran: high, like 420.

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Kieran: I only use vaseline on like...my lips and my nostrils. *(we all heard nips)

Adam: Aren’t you worried about lighting your nips on fire?

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Rizun: So, I have a disposition where I don’t trust crying voices.

Caitlin: Well, you can’t hear her, so that’s okay.

Rizun: Yeah. I don’t trust little girls.

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Rizun: What we don’t know, is that the singing is just rowing man singing “row row row your boat” a million times

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D&D Quotes of the Night 3/4/17

Lunary: Sunny will be fine I’ll give her a book

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Brad: I don’t like this plot point, I can’t mess with it

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Adam: You see Runas on his hands and knees, grasping for air

Kieran: HE NEED SOME MILK

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Lunary, a bard: Bitch need something

Brad: Lunary is just….. such a wordsmith, such a way with words, a veritable Shakespeare of Dresuna

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Kieran: Can we just call an uber to get our unconscious bodies back to the inn

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Adam: You walk outside and see just dozens of dead commoners

Kieran: We have to leave.

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Adam: Farzok is carrying the weakest party member

Brad: Great, the weakest party member is Ciar, the best party member to be carried by Farzok

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Adam: Feruzi is basically a giant stick figure

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Caitlin: Sunny’s sleeping in someone’s hood

Adam: Not sleeping, unconscious

Caitlin: Sleeping. Sounds. Nicer.

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Adam: Maya doesnt have sleeves cuz mayas a slut

Caitlin: That doesn-

Kieran: Me

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Oliver: If Xanthos starts praying really hard does he get cleric levels

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Lunary: Hello fellow grads students, I come in peace

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Grad student: I might be able to help your injured friend, but my specialty was in necromancy

Ciar: Well if things go extra bad at least we can still bring her back

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Adam: You see a sort of metal claw extended ov-

Kieran: Would you describe it as big, and meaty?

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*character gets revived*

*everybody starts singing backstreet’s back*

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Caitlin: You’re in 3 dnd sessions?

Kieran: 3nd

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Brad: That defiling is just as permanent as all those people we killed

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Rizun: Baaack at the arcanium

Kieran and Brad: Back at it again at the arcanium

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D&D Quotes of the Night 2/25/17

Rizun: He’s sort of floating in the air, crying. Also known as flying.

Kieran: Wow, what a good multitasker.

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Caitlin: Can I have advantage because I REALLY want it.

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Caitlin: Did you expect any of us to know this language?

Adam: I wasn’t expecting you to listen through the door. I didn’t think you’d have that much foresight.

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Minotaur NPC: The name’s Farzok.

Brad: I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY FART

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*about a character’s accent*

Adam: It’s a mix between Louisiana and cow.

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Adam: Now he’s hooked on drugs and has Hepatitis-M

Brad: M...?

Caitlin: M for magic..?

Adam: Yup.

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Ciar *nervously*: Hey...hey Big Boy..?

Kieran: You pathetic little man..

Caitlin: How GAY is Ciar for Farzok?

Brad: HE DOESN’T KNOW! I’m trying to figure out if Ciar is a furry or not.

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Adam: Is that your turn, is that it?

Brad: Yup, that’s it.

Rizun: Your total will be 14.93, please drive up to the next window!

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Adam: That’s what she said.

Kieran: Booooo.

Emily: You’re unfortunately straight.

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Emily: Is it possible to tie up the Mephit? (a creature made of water)

Adam: No, not really.

Emily: Can we contain him in any way?

Adam: There’s a jar nearby.

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Rizun: If you drink him, is that considered vore?

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Emily: I forgot-No, no wait I remember. Everything just came back in like 10 seconds, it was kind of a head rush.

Kieran: It was a brain blast.

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Emily: I was just sent a full jazz band arrangement of “We are Number One”

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Adam: It cuts through the net like a razor blade to Trump’s self esteem.

Brad: Feruzi, you made a tweet!

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Brad: I want to give the lady and her guard my potion and tell them it’s a healing potion.

Adam: They don’t believe you.

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by Rizun, it’s her old character Sunny who we found today

by Caitlin. Liadan has a mental breakdown over her sisters, again.

(most pictures are usually by Kieran)

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D&D Quotes of the Night 2/18/17

Caitlin: *gasp* SCHRODINGER’S EYES!

Emily: Unlock the premium version of Wojamo for 14.99

Brad: Is he just Weekend at Bernie’s personified?

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Adam: His only spell is a Cantrip, and it’s Wish.

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Emily: Hey Dad- uh, Hey Jadam?

Everyone: Did  you just call him Dadam?

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Kieran: Question-

Emily: Do you know the Mephit man?

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Brad: Kieran, from now on, remember I have nice plate armor.

Kieran: I’ll just put dinner plates over your armor in my drawings.

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Liadan: Feruzi, you should go see if you can hear anything through the door.

Feruzi: Yeah, we don’t wanna just go knocking on it. Even for us, that seems a bit stupid.

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Kieran: I rolled an 8.

Caitlin: I think you can add 3, for proficiency bonus.

Kieran: No, I have a +5. I rolled a 3.

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Adam: 17? You realize the reason Feruzi couldn’t find the tumblers was because it was unlocked.

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Adam: 25? That is a silent-ass door. You are a silent-ass person.

Rizun: Thorne’s farts are silent...?

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Kieran: Whose fucking child did you sacrifice for these rolls?

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Brad: How bloated is this thing? Just starting, or like, about to explode.

Adam: Ever seen a dead body?

Brad: Well, yeah, I know it’s bloating but...how much?

Adam: Ever seen a dead body that’s been in the hot sun for two months?

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*after Feruzi uses their electricity breath weapon*

Kieran: How are they looking?

Adam: They look...shocked.

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Adam: Oh! Thorne! I don’t want to...retroactively give you damage unless you’re cool with it, but you should have taken 3d6 damage.

Emily: No....I don’t want to, thank you very much Mr. Jadam.

Adam: Well, you mechanically should have...let’s take a vote?

Brad: I vote she takes the damage.

Kieran: Don’t be a baby!

Oliver: Take the damage.

Adam: Well, I hear 3d6 people saying to take the damage, so....

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Kieran: Feruzi is gonna attack this guy with their bow- no their shortbow- their shorts- their RAPIER!

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Kieran: Wow, that’s the most damage I’ve ever done on one turn. Finally, you stupid lizard.

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Adam: Don’t waste hit points on yourself! You’re Xanthos, come on!

Oliver: You’re right. Xanthos wouldn’t heal himself.

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Caitlin: Thorne and Liadan are the same height, so they can stare each other in the eyes while arguing.

Emily: And I think that’s beautiful.

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Feruzi: I don’t think we should kick it...

Ciar: Let’s kick it.

Feruzi: Can I whip you at it?

Ciar: Fast ball special.

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Rizun: What’s on this bookshelf?

Kieran: You wanna read a fucking book, you nerd?

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Liadan: I don’t know a lot about the customs of this world, but why are people collecting books filled with naked people? It feels a bit..off.

Lunary: It’s art. It’s called hentai, and it’s art.

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Kieran: There’s no water, is he like a land pirate?

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Ciar and Feruzi got some Cool New Items(tm)

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This is my Dungeons and Dragons character from the podcast (if we ever edit it) Minimum Damage! Her name is Liadan! She’s a water nymph whose connection had to be severed from her water source in order to stay alive after her home was attacked. She made a pact with a demon in order to keep herself and her home safe, even if she was kind of forced to.

This drawing is during a scene where she confronts that demon, who has been turning her home into a desolate wasteland so “no one could ever touch it again, you will always be safe,” which..isn’t exactly what she wanted.

After learning that the demon killed her sisters to get them out of the way, she lost it and began to attack with the rest of her party.

I wish I knew enough about art to shade this and make a background! I’ll post it again if I ever do

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D&D Quotes of the Night 2/11/17

We moved to Saturdays! Easier timing for all of us.

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Rizun: Lunary wants vaporwave to constantly be playing in the background of our adventures.

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Thorne: Ciar, I feel like you’ll understand me, as much as I resent you for everything you’ve ever done.

Kieran: Thorne, and Ciar, agreeing????

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Rizun: So..Lunary doesn’t really CARE about the wish, as long as it isn’t something stupid...like helping people.

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Adam: You might say this halfling is a little bit....shortsighted.

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Brad: I have an unknown potion and a romantic night coupon in my inventory...I don’t remember getting these.

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Lunary: So that thing can see us..?

Rachel (npc): We believe it can, although it shouldn’t be able to.

Brad: Ciar puts his middle finger over the screen for a second.

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Emily: Do you ever just channel Liam O’Brien?

Everyone else: no...?

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Lunary (a pixie): I’m going to take over Xanthos’s bed.

Liadan: I don’t think he’ll mind, there will still be space.

Lunary: No, no, his entire bed:

Liadan: How..do you plan on that?

Lunary: I’m gonna kick him off with pixie dust.

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Thorne: Well Ciar, since all the rest of us are ready to do something, I think I speak for all of us when I say you can go die-

Liadan: NO. NO. No no no. She doesn’t speak for all of us.

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Kieran: WHAT! That’s not a real word.

Brad: You’re right! It’s not! It’s a made up word for Dungeons and Dragons!

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Rizun: 

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Adam (DM):  Ciar suddenly notices how sexy Lunary's Manly Wings are.

Bonus:

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D&D Quotes of the Night 2/3/17

I realize we likely don’t have a big enough following for this, but all of our members that were going to edit recently have had some live things happen, so we have lots of videos to catch up on! If somehow there’s anyone that wants to help us out, let us know :)

Also - at the end of the session, we as the party have one big wish to make! Send us suggestions on tumblr, we’re a bit stuck!

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Adam: I knocked someone out with my bag of dice once.

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Adam: Who has the bone of destiny?

Kieran: NOT WHAT IT’S CALLED. NOT WHAT IT’S CALLED

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Adam: Kieran, is that a cigarette or a pencil?

Brad: Kieran can’t smoke, he has depression.

*everyone laughing*

Kieran: It’s...it’s neither. It’s a mini glue stick.

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Oliver: Minimum Vore.

Caitlin: NO! I mean, we do want the minimum vore, which is 0, but I don’t like that term.

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Rizun: Can I move-

Brad: NO! You’re not moving, I’M moving, so I’m not in jeopardy anymore.

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Oliver: I still don’t know what’s going on.

Caitlin: That’s okay, just stand there and look pretty.

Oliver: I always do that!

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Caitlin, constantly: Dear people who are better at chess than us...

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Oliver: I wanna eat...

Caitlin: Go eat! You have time.

Oliver: NO I WANNA EAT HIM, BITCH IM NOT HUNGRY

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Xanthos: What the heck the fuck dude. I’ve seen some shit in my days, but not that.

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Kieran: I wish we had a version of Smash Mouth in this universe so we could listen to All Star

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Brad: But would I find the deck of many things in the next 10 minutes?

Kieran: How fast can you run?

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