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Dumb meme thats probably already been done but oh well

Shoutout podcast protagonists with eye imagery

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Victims of Other Entities: And so I watched the creature that used to be my wife sprint towards me on all fours with its neck bent at a full 180 degree angle. I only got away because it tripped and fell into the lit fireplace and turned to ash immediately. I don’t sleep anymore and I honestly wish God just would kill me already.

Victims of The Buried: God I ffucnking LOVE Dirt. OOh Boy that Shit is GOOD. No Thing on this God Forsaken planet brings me more EUPHORIA than Digging a B I G Hole. I crawl on all fours and c l a w at the e a r th as I pine for its tender Embrace. It torments my VERY SOUL that I cannot simply i n h a l e it Straight Into My Bloodstream. I’ve decided that eating fistfuls of potting soil is the next best thing.

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What do you mean? That IS what TMA is about

Sometimes you see tma fanarts and if you don't know the podcast you'd think it's an office romcom about a librarian with gender dysphoria and a love for vintage aesthetics who finally masters the courage to dress how they feel and find support from their workmates: a nerd with a crush the size of the sun, a bisexual disaster, and the Only Sane One™ who, for some reason looks like a different person in every fanart.

There's also the creepy Victorian slut boss who seems awfully invested in Jon's coming out journey.

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how to write a podcast

make a scrongly little guy

put him in a situation

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the stellar firma content warnings are so funny because yeah all that DOES happen. repeatedly. but i promise it’s a super goofy lighthearted show you gotta trust me

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my top three flavours of jonathan sims fanart

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i love poison omelette

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i will... draw for fun... the things that..... bring me joy ...

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Season 1: Stament Begins, I'm Jonathan Sims, im a cunt and this is all bullshit. My assistant can jump in a paper shredder for all I care. Statment Ends.

Season 2: Supplemental, my assistants want to kill me, execpt Sasha even though she obviously wants to kill me. Martin is trying to kill me because he's being too nice and he needs to fuck off. I have a cigarette addiction and a crusty old man is living in the basement. Magic is real.

Season 3: No one loves me and I have no job because my boss killed the crusty man and blamed me. My only friend is my ex and I have 53 million scars from meeting various gods. And oh my lord Tim exploded from facing a Sentient puppet.

Season 4: No one loves me, Martin hates me, the lesbians hate me. I just got out of a coma. Sasha and Tim are dead. I speak French now and I'm a monster. I am God. Martin, love me, love me, say that you love me. And shit I started the apocalypse, my bad.

Season 5: My and my boyfriend will stab Jonah if he doesn't let us be gay.

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Hey guys do you know that one song that goes like- [a sniper shoots me before I can explain it]

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"what kind of tv shows do you like?? :]"

"Oh I don't watch TV that much I listen to gay audiodramas abt archives, space people, detectives, eldritch horrors, major character death, gays, strange summercamps,supplementals, elephant men, demons, evil space plant, radio shows in small towns, gay vampires-"

"...what the fuck"

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One of these days it will be revealed that I’m not real and am actually a figment of everyone’s imagination

A collective hallucination

Mass hysteria, even

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Thank you for the help, I’m going to go buy an axe. I heard it’s remarkably easy.

Hello, I’ve called to ask about a mannequin my neighbor has. My neighbor is a fashion designer, I think. I don’t know why else he would have the mannequin. It’s always at the window, dressed up in different outfits. Sometimes he moves it to different poses.

I know that my neighbor has been on vacation. No one has entered that house. The mannequin keeps moving. It’s really worrying me because last night I saw it looking through a different window, watching me while I was in the kitchen.

Please help, I don’t like this thing.

Destroy it. Burn it, smash it, any way to dispose of it. That's not a normal mannequin. It needs to be gone. Almost anything along those lines is dangerous.

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It’s time to DISAPPEAR by summer

&

COME BACK A DIFFERENT PERSON

And now, the weather.

why is tumblr serving me ads for experiencing a clinically significant mental health event

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i dont believe in astrology but every time i made an oc im like 'well i HAVE to make sure the birthday i assign them gives them a fitting star sign.' like its a curse. nobody cares if this guy i made up is a gemini except for me 😔

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The Sprit Bares Its Teeth by Andrew Joseph White is my favorite book, so I’m going to dump a bunch of my favorite quotes.

These quotes may have spoilers, please read the book first, it’s worth it

- My very favorite quote from the book is “They must have convinced themselves they would never rot in the same dirt we do” (page 374)

- “Rabbits never get a chance to rest. Something always wants to hurt us” (page 349)

- “Do you know how angry the dead can be?” (page 338)

- “Silas, what did you have to do to get here? Silas, what did you do? You’re alive, you’re alive, you need to run” (page 289)

- “Have you seen what has been done to us? Do you understand? Do you feel it the way we felt it? Please say you do please” (page 287)

- “That’s the most I’ve heard you speak.” “It’s the most I’ve had to say.” (page 266)

- “Sick girl. Sick girl girl girl. You’re a sick girl playing dress-up, you’re a sick girl lying to yourself, you’re making things up and you need to be fixed and you’re sick sick sick sick sick—” (page 216)

- “I think the entire world depends on people pretending they don’t know they’re doing terrible things.” (page 205)

- “i am a haunting i am a poltergeist i am stuck here screaming” (page 1)

- “No no no let me warp the air let me haunt this place let me haunt this place let me haunt them. Let me do something by other than watch my body rot. Bury me burn me i dont care just please please please—” (page 75)

- “I want to lay out my dissected body next to his and show him the pieces of us that are the same. Could he tell his arteries from mine, the folds of my brain from his own? If I excised both our eyes and laid them out on a microscope, would there be a difference?” (page 83)

- “I am a collection of precious gems sewn up in a cadaver.” (page 102)

- “She’s like me, she’s like me, and I’m safe” (page 108)

- “I cannot. Because I do not know the way my mind works either. It is a mind that experiences the world too much. It is a mind that experiences everything in its smallest details, but without sensing the deeper meaning the rest of the world seems to inherently understand. It is a mind that sees the patterns and clicking, ticking systems all around us, but crumbles as soon as something falls out of place. It is a mind that operates, it seems, in a mirror version of the world, where the same actions and reactions are experienced so differently it’s like we are not even the same species” (page 227)

- “You’re not a coward for wanting to live” (page 195)

- “If a dead girl prays to God can he hear her?” (page 116)

This book is amazing and I love it aaaaaaaa

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Yeah so unfortunately, my friend was right. Muttering 'I'm gonna put on the greatest talent show this town has ever seen' darkly to myself is not only vastly funnier than saying I'm gonna kms, but is also somehow more concerning to anyone who might overhear it