miraxusincorrectquote

[miraxusincorrectquote]

Laxus: ahem..can I rizz you up?

Mira, confused, but smiling: you can try!

Laxus: *inhale*

Laxus: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE-

[miraxusincorrectquote]

Teen!Mira: I'm touching myself when I think about you...

Young!Laxus: ...okay, disturbing, what's the catch?

Teen!Mira: I'm touching...my fucking temples 'cuz of the headache you're giving me.

Young!Laxus:

Teen!Mira: asshole.

[miraxusincorrectquote]

Young!Laxus, mocking: ya know your older self won't be proud of you, right?

Teen!Mira, lighting her first joint: yeah, im gonna ruin her life so fuck her anyways.

Young!Laxus: *enthusiast laughing noises*

[miraxusincorrectquote]

[miraxusincorrectquote]

Miraxus coded

[miraxusincorrectquote]

Laxus: I am something of an altruist myself.

Mirajane: wow, Laxus, I didn’t expect that from you! This is so kind of you, I knew I defended you to Master not for nothi-

Laxus: yeah, I hate everyone for free and with all my heart.

[miraxusincorrectquote]

Mirajane: what are you doing here at this hour???

Laxus, at 0:01 at her house all dressed up and with flowers: I've been dating u for one year in my mind, happy anniversary, darling.

Mirajane : [Seeing Laxus wearing nice clothes] Mirajane [smiling but sad]: I see you have a date. Who's the lucky person ? Laxus : Laxus : I forgot to ask you, didn't I?

[miraxusincorrectquote]

Cana: You guys were going to get married, what went wrong?!

Laxus: The day before I told Mira not to forget to bring a ladder with her so that during the “you may now kiss the bride” I wouldn't break my neck.

Cana:

Cana: Say you're joking-

Laxus: I'm not.

[miraxusincorrectquote]

I don't remember if I said this already or not, but

👤: Let me tell you how this is gonna work, you're gonna-

Teen!Mira: You ain't gonna tell me shit

👤: Listen!

Teen!Mira: Suck my dick

👤: Shut up, listen to me!

Teen!Mira: Suck my dick, you fuck man

👤: Listen!

Teen!Mira: Suck my dick

👤: You'll be here in the corner-

Teen!Mira: You'll be here suckin' my dick

👤: You will listen to me now!

Teen!Mira: Go fuck yourself

[miraxusincorrectquote]

Mirajane, cooing: You made the chocolate yourself! I'm so happy, thank you Laxus!

Laxus: I didn't make it myself, woman, I bought it, so you can throw it away, or whatever, I don't give much fuck anyways...

Evergreen, nearby:

Freed: Say it.

Evergreen: He broke into my house like a week ago, angry as fuck, and asked me if I had a good chocolate recipe because he'd tried everything and nothing worked well enough, so he made me stand over his head all this week to watch the process so that he'd finally make delicious homemade chocolate for he didn't say who.

Bickslow: I knew it.

[miraxusincorrectquote]

Laxus: I don't give a fuck who you fuck with, who you marry, okay, I don’t care about your relationship, polyamory, gays, pansexuals, heterosexuals, other shit, your sexuality and your partners are your fuckin' business, fuck whoever you want, how many people you want, it's all up to you. I don't care at all.

Mirajane:

Laxus: Except you. You're mine.

[miraxusincorrectquote]

Mirajane: Oh, you're unbelievable!

Laxus: And you're stupid, so?

Mirajane, frowning: Unbelievable and incorrigible!

Bickslow, nearby: ...wasn't boss like... beating up that poor dude last week who said “pretty body, no brains” about Mirajane... and growling that in fact she's one of the smartest in the guild?...

Evergreen: Uh-huh.

Freed: Don't mention it around him.

[miraxusincorrectquote]

Laxus: People do suck, and there's literally not a fuckin' single person on this fuckin' planet who can change my mind about th-

Mirajane, passing by: Laxus! Hiii!!

Laxus:

Laxus, all red: shit.

[miraxusincorrectquote]

Laxus: I don't talks about feelings, Freed. I don't have any, I've never seen one. I'm a night-stalking, crime-fighting vigilante, and a heavy metal rapping machine. I don't feel anything emotionally, except for rrraaaage. 24/7, 365, at a million percent. And if you think that there's something behind that, then you're crazy.

Freed:

Freed: OH, LOOK! MIRA-SAN!

Laxus, hiding behind him, instantly blushing all the way up to his neck: WHERE?!

Freed:

[miraxusincorrectquote]

Laxus: Okay, look here very closely

Laxus: You're my firstborn, my child, and I love you very much

Laxus: Got it? Daddy loves you, little one

Laxus: But they're mine, and you gotta give them back, okay?

Laxus: You can borrow them, I'm okay with that, but then you definitely have to return them

Laxus: 'Cause they're mine, and always have been, and always will be

Laxus: Deal?

His six-month-old baby:

Mirajane, breastfeeding em:

[miraxusincorrectquote]

I'm just writing gender swap fic with them, so-

Male!Mirajane: don't let her fool you, she's actually such a good girl!

Fem!Laxus: look at me like that one more time, and I'll rip out your Adam's apple and shove it up your ass, stuffing it with your own fuckin' balls on top-

Male! Mirajane: see? Cutie!

Fem!Laxus: *not so cute loud growl*

Male! Mirajane, love-drunk: just beautiful...

[miraxusincorrectquote]

Mirajane: my spirits sleeping somewhere cold~

until you find it there and lead it back… home!

Laxus: Wake me up!

Mirajane: *transforms* wake me up inside!

Laxus: *starts a lightning show* I can’t wake up

Mirajane: Wake me up inside

Laxus: *Lightning strike into the sky* SAVE ME

Mirajane: Call my name and save me from the dark!

Lucy: WHY ARE THEY SO INTO THIS?!