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I will not watch La La Land

There are three of us friends: me, Grimes, and Brynne.

The short story is that Grimes and Brynne saw La La Land.

The long story is that Grimes and Brynne saw La La Land and did not invite me. I found out about this while making a cup of coffee on Monday morning. The exchange went something like this.

“Brynne and I saw La La Land this weekend and it was so good!!!” “Excuse me?”

You see, Grimes is an animated story-teller. You will not only get emotions, but also understand both context and perspective just by listening to her tales. I usually enjoyed  listening to them especially after a full weekend of not seeing her or Brynne. 

I did not feel particularly excited to listen to her at this moment.

They were supposed to get shoes together, but went to see La La Land instead. Grimes’ sister was invited and went with them. 

It’s hitting the anniversary of this event soon. Until this trigger, I’ve let myself believe that they did call and text me, but my phone wasn’t working that weekend and hence did not receive their calls.

I’ve let myself believe in a lie.

After much discomfort from grimes, I called Brynne and put her on speaker to verify this situation since, you know, I’m a reasonable woman and want to make sure all sides have the chance to represent themselves. Though I didn’t get to represent myself in this hang out.

Having confirmed the story from Brynne, I made my moves. I crossed many lines to ensure the extended torture of both Grimes and Brynne from this awful awful mistake. Text messages, memes, gifs, hand-drawn cartoons, and students were some parts of this process, a sample is attached below.

Disappointment can hurt, but l’ve found that this has only brought us closer together. Whether it is for greater love, or engendered fear, I cannot say. What I can say now is that there are three of us friends: me, Grimes, and Brynne. And we like to invite each other to the movies.

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What a great yoga session with this teacher! A blessing.

I added some hip opening stretches on the first downward dog. I paused the video, then:

- one leg stretch back towards the wall, 

- stretch leg up towards ceiling,

- bend at the knee

- play around and rotate gently the ankle, knee, maybe even drop leg back 

- leg back up towards the ceiling

- gently drop back leg to yoga mat for downward dog

- repeat with other leg.

Other than than, wow! Enjoy this awesome power vinyasa yoga sequence.

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Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.

Anais Nin (via fuckyeahyoga)

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Last Vent for a while about BS

I’m pissed about the admin bullshit. Every year they’ve asked me some sort of additional work for Lesson Plans. Make it on google drive. Date the folders. Change your LP template Share the folders every Sunday. Tel me, when was the last or first time ANYONE who is in charge telling me to do this actually looked inside my fucking plans and read through it? When. Tell. Me. when. Ask ask ask ask for more and more things. Change this change that. What have YOU done at all from your end that was supposed to be your part? I’m tired of that BULLSHIT. ——— I love love love love the part of my job that actually is planning and teaching and assessing and reteaching and learning and seeing kids grow and learn. I’m blessed to love that.

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Teacher Bureaucracy BS

The petty reason I’m pissed:

I am told that I don’t get “incentives” because I didn’t offer my time for coverage, and i HAD to be asked to cover.

Tell me how I am gonna offer my time, I teach 1-3, I have motherfucking meetings 4th period, then I offer after school activities 5-6 for no extra pay, then teach 7th.

Then you’re gonna tell me I only teach 4 periods, not 5. Then, you’re gonna tell me you understand my point “to an extent”.

The true reason I’m pissed:

I’m tired of having to justify my time. My activities. My pay. As a teacher.

Why?

I grade, I plan two curriculums, I coteach algebra. I offer TWO periods of after school help everyday I work on my weekends. And I still HAVE to ask to fight to protect my time.

Then, my “incentives” are supposed to help me out. My incentive is to leave work an hour early. tell me how I get my time back by leaving early? I DONT. I STILL need to find another hour to offer extra help, to plan, to grade, to fucking clean the classroom.

Now, let me go buy supplies for my kids using my own money.

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Tell me again, How hard your life is

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My current struggle with privilege

You: haha the way you say that word is funny! 

Me: it isn’t funny. You think it’s funny because inherently, you think the way you say it is superior and correct, and mine is wrong. You don’t know that you’re laughing because you think you are better than me

You: I’m just joking. You’re taking it too seriously. Why don’t you see that?

Me: why don’t you see that you can’t empathize with the implications of your thinking because you’ve always been on the side of privilege? 

I’m getting tired of hearing complaints/perspectives from privileged/sheltered people. No, it doesn’t mean just because you were raised in a privileged/sheltered ideal that you’re automatically a horrible human being, just as being white doesn’t make you an asshole, or being a republican an unreasonable person, or a democrat being necessarily a model citizen. However, it does irk me when you frown upon my words, slang, or approach to handling situations. 

You complain about America. Yes, this country has so many flaws that it needs to work on. But, have you considered literally everywhere else? A developed town, in a developing country has one doctor, and all other medical assistance that a person would need is 4 to 6 hours away. 

I think my personal struggle is that I am finding it very very hard to empathize with the challenges that you are facing. I need to work on it because I know that those challenges, like everyone else’s, are real.

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Teachers Report Stressed, Anxious Students In The ‘Age Of Trump’

This past spring, a history teacher in North Carolina was giving a lesson about Christopher Columbus. He covered how Columbus and his men enslaved and otherwise mistreated the native people of the island of Hispaniola.

One white student piped up: “Well, that’s what needed to happen. They were just dumb people anyways like they are today. That was the purpose, that’s why we need a wall.”

Multiple students agreed. An argument ensued. After class, two Latina students came up to the teacher and said: “He doesn’t need to be saying stuff like that in class. We are worried for our well-being. We’re worried about things not going good for us.”

The anonymous anecdote was collected as part of a new UCLA survey. In it, teachers report that in the current political climate, some of their students fear for themselves and their families. Others reported that students seem more “emboldened” to express racist and derogatory views.

Illustration: LA Johnson/NPR

Continue reading

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The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you, but it is not. It is an existential truth: only those people who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core of the other person—without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other, without reducing the other to a thing, and without becoming addicted to the other.

Osho (via quotemadness)

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Despite Stage 4 Breast Cancer, Brittney Beadle Thrives

This post is in honor of #BreastCancerAwareness month, observed in October in the US.

Brittney Beadle (@brittneybeadle) does not put off anything for tomorrow. “Do it now,” she advises. “Live in the moment and enjoy your life.” In May 2015, Brittney was diagnosed with metastatic (stage 4) breast cancer, at the age of 18. “I felt I was alone,” Brittney says. “There are some young women in their 20s who I found, but still no one who was “my age” young, with breast cancer.” By sharing her journey, she hopes to help others in a similar position. “Whenever I have to go through a new treatment that’s really hard — like when I had radiation to my brain — I think, ‘OK. Yes, this sucks. I have to do this. But you know what? I get to live.’”

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I’ve spent much of my young life planning as much as possible, every detail as possible. Housing, semesters, degrees, jobs, relationships. Funny enough, from where I stand now, I find that my greatest joys have come from the spontaneous, the surprises, the unplanned.

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🙏🏽

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Everything will be okay. @discoverlaguna

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New York State protects transgender students.

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🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽