mockeryofahipsterdiary

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Witchy Aesthetic time 💖

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Let your garden sleep in. For the pollinators.

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(via)

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My highschool bedroom 🙃

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I’m back on the cute dinosaur shit 💅🏻

ROBOTS OR DINOSAURS?

I find technology to be tiring, and I already went through the cute dinosaur phase in Jr. High. Neither.

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My babe sleeping like a goddamn angel with the cutest lil Tate on his chest. It kills me how cute they are #dogdad #datenight #cute #couple #handsome #babestar #megababe #ilikehim #hessohandsome #sleepy #doggo #dogsofinstagram #tatertoot

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I'm a blackbelt in both bitches.

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Vulnerability

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Safe

When you feel so safe with someone, it's the best feeling. Alongside with love, feeling safe is one of the single most amazing things to feel about/toward someone. But getting there is absolutely terrifying now. Once you've felt like that, so entirely safe with someone, and they take that vulnerability and end up hurting you, wether on purpose or not, you can lose that desire or even ability to feel 'safe' with someone again. Are you ever truly safe again? Fully safe, while wrapped in their arms after a solid cry, or whilst way too drunk, or naked and cold. Or, do you hold back after that initial feeling of safety and continue to hold back for the rest of your life. Or. Perhaps that safety you felt was from a family member who betrayed that, can you move forward in your evolution and become safe again? Or, is it rather, that you move forward, though never being able to feel safe again? That is what I feel right now. Can I ever feel safe with someone again? And if I feel that inkling, is it real? Or a facade of the past?

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When someone is attracted to you, you hold their interest. They listen to you, let you talk, you unfold yourself slowly in front of them and it helps you remember who you are. You may become excited again, but it likely isn't love, it's the feeling that someone wants to listen to your pathetic rambling in hopes of fucking later that night. If you do well enough listening, maybe you'll get laid. The loneliness isn't always in the night, falling asleep alone. Sometimes the loneliness is in a relationship you do not understand or want. Sometimes it's in the lazy mornings when everyone's busy or working and you have no one to talk to. Mornings that used to be filled with pancakes and love-making and listening to music, and cleaning house and laughter. Loneliness is sitting in a messy house by yourself wondering what the point of cleaning is anymore. Wondering what the point of an orgasm is besides just another sleep aide. Wondering if you'll ever let anyone in again, or if it's safer to just tease and flirt and be left to be desired.

Me

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Breakups.

It's never any fun looking someone who you care about very much and telling them you can't be with them. It fucking sucks. I didn't want to hurt them, but I couldn't be a fraud in dating them. It has left me emotionally exhausted and sad for their sake. I will cherish the short time we had together, but I know this was the right thing for both of us. Now I feel like I never want to date because I never want to have to hurt someone because I'm my own fucked up mess. Thank you for being so good to me, I'm sorry I couldn't make it work in the end. I wish you wellness and happiness in your life. I hope someday we can talk again or meet in a different life.

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