modernlyorthodox

[modernlyorthodox]

Hey, I saw a few posts about donating to synagogues or Jewish charities with multiples of $18, because it’s Jewish tradition, which is true. The number 18 in Hebrew is represented by characters that for the word chai (with a hard ch, not like the drink), which means life, so it’s considered meaningful.

But just so you know:

(1) It’s totally okay if you give a different amount. No one is going to say “They gave us $10, they must disrespect us and our traditions.” Unless you give, like, literally the Nazi numbers (*gestures at Milo*), they’re going to say “How kind that this person thought of us at all.”

(2) If you want to donate a multiple of chai but $18 or $36 or whatever is out of your price range, $1.80 (or multiples thereof) also carries with it same meaning. On behalf of every broke Jewish grad student, I can vouch for the fact that this is 1000% acceptable and welcome.

(3) You even thinking about giving to the Jewish community means a lot. It’s a reminder we’re not alone. So, thank you.

[modernlyorthodox]

How you spell “The Berenstain Bears” could be proof of parallel universes

“You need to look up the Berenst#in Bears problem.”

It was this innocent comment left on a post about parallel universes that first pulled by Rob Schwarz of Stranger Dimensions into one of the internet’s strangest theories. It involves The Berenstein Bears, a loving family of anthropomorphized bears who taught children life lessons via hundreds of picture books and two TV shows. But the problem is they aren’t The Berenstein Bears, they’re The Berenstain Bears.

Though a startling number of people remember the name as BerenstEin, it’s in fact spelled BerenstAin, just like the authors Stan and Jan Berenstain. But is it possible that so many people are just wrong about the title? Back in 2012, blogger Reeceoffered up another explanation: Some of us have recently crossed over from a parallel universe.

He argues:

… at some time in the last 10 years or so, reality has been tampered with and history has been retroactively changed. The bears really were called the “BerenstEin Bears” when we were growing up, but now reality has been altered such that the name of the bears has been changed post hoc.

Somehow, we have all undergone a π/2 phase change in all 4 dimensions so that we moved to the stAin hexadectant, while our counterparts moved to our hexadectant (stEin). They are standing around expressing their confusion about the “Berenstein Bears” and how they all remember “Berenstain Bears” on the covers growing up.

Those who remember the name as “Berenstain” are native to this “A” Universe, while those who are sure it’s “Berenstein” traveled over from the “E” Universe.

More at avclub.com

[modernlyorthodox]

i may not be beautiful but at least i know a lot of useless information

[modernlyorthodox]

jewish holidays as memes

yom kippur

chanukah

sukkot

purim

feel free to add

[modernlyorthodox]

African American Jewish Congregation in Harlem, children studying, 1940

[modernlyorthodox]

“I don’t think you can describe him as a ‘sex addict.’ He’s a predator. But what he’s as it were, the top of the ladder of is a system of harassment, and belittling, and bullying, and interference…..This has been part of our world, women’s world, since time immemorial. So what we need to start talking about is the crisis in masculinity, the crisis of extreme masculinity, which is this sort of behaviour……Do they have to be all as bad as him to make it count? Does it only count if you…have done it to loads and loads and loads of women? Or does it count if you do it to one woman once? I think the latter.” (x)

[modernlyorthodox]

[modernlyorthodox]

For anyone in Manchester rn

[modernlyorthodox]

Quote taken from an interview with Laura Amy Schlitz, author of The Hired Girl, for the Jewish Book Council.

[modernlyorthodox]

When I'm about to eat something "milchig" (dairy):

and someone so helpfully reminds me that I’m fleishig (meat):

Now I have to wait the full six hours until I can have milchigs again. 

[modernlyorthodox]

So do you still consider yourself religious?

Well…

Does that count?

[modernlyorthodox]

First time at a bar:

[modernlyorthodox]

When non-Jewish songs are remade for Jewish music:

When the original lyrics are replaced with Hebrew: 

Worse, when it’s replaced with newly written English lyrics:

Worst, when the actual composition of some parts of the song are changed:

[modernlyorthodox]

I feel you!

I realized today that I’ve found so many parts of tumblr that pander to my different interests.

But I’m yet to meet the Jewish side of tumblr.

Could I get a Jewish sound-off going here?

[modernlyorthodox]

When someone tells me which part of the Torah portion the chazzan is reading from on Shabbat.

[modernlyorthodox]

Before Yom Kippur.

[modernlyorthodox]

Me practicing Shomer Negiah in high school.