mogai-and-me

[mogai-and-me]

Hi! Here’s a xenogender for pridemonth ^_^ Hivegender, for people who associate with the concept of Hive Minds :D Any pronouns can be used with this! It’s just based on colors I like <3 

[mogai-and-me]

You know, I think I’m probably the ideal, respectable nonbinary person—I’m an adult, I have a salaried job, I don’t correct people on my pronouns (bc I’m okay with all pronouns), I haven’t changed my name but it’s already semi-androgynous, I appear androgynous but I’m attractive and fairly young so it’s palatable—but the anti-neo-pronoun crowd, the Kalvin Garrah’s, the nonbinary police STILL hate me.

Once you meet the bar for respectability, the bar gets higher. The end goal is the total erasure of nonbinary people, and so right now the target is on people younger, less secure, and with more niche genders, but if we don’t defend even the least of us, the next target will be the rest of us. If we don’t defend the people who use it/its, who use meow/meowself, who use 🤖 pronouns, who change their name to Moss, who dye their hair lime green, who look like cis men in maid costumes, whose gender is lesbian, the we’ll be back to fighting over they/them pronouns, and fighting over dysphoria, and fighting over transitioning. Solidarity means respect everyone or respect no one.

[mogai-and-me]

xenogenders are so cool like... they're almost like metaphors. like "i have a gender and the way it makes me feel reminds me of a shining sun, so im sungender" is so? poetic? it's beautiful?

they're also like abstract art... with the way a painting can look like one thing but actually be mentally connected to something else. like a abstract painting in varying shades of blue can represent the ocean.

i honestly think xenogenders are one of the most beautiful displays of gender variance. it taps into the emotions that gender draws from, and instead of clunking into the box "male" or "female," or even man/woman, they create an entirely new, personal experience

xenogenders are the essence of gender.

[mogai-and-me]

Types of attraction and their colors/descriptions/terms

Colors

Sexual = purple/magenta

Romantic = green

Alterous = blue, cyan

Sensual = orange

QPlatonic = pink + yellow

Platonic = yellow

Aesthetic = pink

Wavership = brown + light blue

Amical = light brown/dark orange

Guardian/Protective = purple + purplish blue

Grace = lightish blue + lightish green

Emotional = red

Intellectual = white + gold

Noetic = black + tan 

Spiritual = purple + white

Familial/Fellowship = green + yellow

Social = red

Pragmatic = peach + green/blue

Erotic = burgundy

_________________________ 

Definitions

Sexual = desiring sexual interaction (sexual intercourse, sexually touching/groping, kissing, finding sexual pleasure)

Romantic = desiring romantic interaction (being physically close, affectionate speech, living together, making lifelong commitment decisions, romantic affection, doing things together exclusively, valuing the relationship more than others)

Alterous = desiring interaction that is neither 100% platonic or 100% romantic, but is rather somewhere in between (affectionate speech, physical affection, doing things together exclusively, valuing the relationship more than others)

Sensual = desiring sensual interaction (kissing, cuddling, handholding, nonsexual touch, stroking, grooming, physical affection, sharing space, being physically close)

QPlatonic = desiring interaction that is not 100% platonic, but is actually more, while not being 100% romantic either (kissing, cuddling, handholding, nonsexual touch, being physically close, affectionate speech, doing things together exclusively, valuing the relationship more than others)

Platonic = desiring platonic interaction (nonsexual touch, doing things together exclusively, valuing the relationship more than others (possibly), friendship, making lifelong decisions together, relying on each other emotionally)

Aesthetic = experiencing aesthetic attraction (admiration, valuing their existence more than others (non-obsessively), adoration, interest in their persona, distant emotional reliance)

Wavership = experiencing attraction that can fluctuate between different types or different expressions (called fluidic)

Amical = experiencing platonic + siblinghood attraction (nonsexual touch, valuing the relationship more than others, friendship, doing things together exclusively, emotional reliance, possible physical affection, familial bonds)

Guardian/Protective = experiencing protective attraction (valuing the relationship more than others, doing things together exclusively, possible physical affection, emotional reliance, possible grooming and being physically close, feeling protective or guide-like emotions; may be platonic, romantic, a mix, or some other type) (also called tutelary or dominant)

Grace = experiencing protected/guarded attraction (valuing the relationship more than others, doing things together exclusively, possible physical affection, possible grooming and being physically close, emotional and mental dependence, ‘following behind’ or willing to release some independence, but not completely or by force; may be platonic, romantic, a mix, or some other type) (also called submissive and concomitant)

Emotional = experiencing attraction that fits multiple types at once, or has characteristics of multiple types of attraction while not strictly falling into any type. (this is sometimes called ‘doraric’ attraction)

Intellectual = experiencing intellectual attraction (valuing their opinions, fascination with their skill level, adoration of their field of intelligence (not how smart, but what they’re smart in), valuing their existence more than others (non-obsessively), interest in their persona, desiring partnership or guide-like relationships, possibly other traits of attraction; may be mixed with another type of attraction but not always)

Spiritual = experiencing spiritual attraction (valuing their opinions, emotional and mental reliance, valuing their existence more than others (non-obsessively), desiring partnership or guide-like relationships, spiritual bonding, doing things together exclusively, friendship, possible familial bonds, possible physical affection, performing spiritual practices together, fascination, interest in their persona)

Noetic = experiencing mental attraction (valuing their opinions, fascination with their point of view or perception of reality, fascination and appreciation of their ‘mental map’ (how they see the world/how their mind ‘works’), admiration of their perspectives or opinions, desiring a guide-like or apprentice-like relationship (possibly), valuing their existence more than others (non-obsessively), interest in their persona, possible emotional reliance, favoring their input and guidance, intimacy) Please read this for a better explanation.

Familial/Fellowship = experiencing familial attraction or desiring a familial bond (being physically close, living together, valuing the relationship more than others, emotional reliance, valuing their existence more than others, possible desire for a guide-like or guardian/grace attachment, friendship, valuing their opinion more than others)

Social = desiring social interaction (verbal speech, sharing information, discussing interests, spending time together, possible desire to have a deeper relationship)

Pragmatic/Hospitable = ‘a means to an end’ type of relationship or attraction, the desire to appease for some gain, or to create a relationship with a common goal besides simply being in love (this can be across multiple expressions of affection, kindness, compatibility, interaction, and interest. This type is listed for those in arranged marriages, professional partnerships, procreational relationships, hospitality employment such as hospital or hotel services, and sex workers.)

Erotic/Nonsexual = experiencing erotic attraction (an aesthetic attraction to nonsexual nudity, or a nonsexual interest in human anatomy; the best example is admiration of the human physique, particularly genitals or secondary reproductive organs (though not always exclusively), but not wishing for sexual interaction. This is placed here for those on the asexual spectrum, or those who simply do not feel the desire to have sexual interaction with others, but are not sex-repulsed.)

_________________________

Words for each attraction

(A word used by the person feeling the attraction would call their target of attraction they are NOT in a relationship with)

Sexual: smush, lust

Romantic: crush

Alterous: mesh, hush

Sensual: lush

QPlatonic: plush

Platonic: squish, squush, thete

Aesthetic: swish

Wavership: unknown, flush? waffle?

Amical: unknown, shush? thresh?

Guardianship: mush

Grace: gush, sush

Emotional: unknown, blush?

Intellectual: unknown, rush?

Spiritual: unknown, immesh? inmesh?

Mixture: slush, flish, immesh?

Social: N/A

Pragmatic: N/A

Erotic: N/A

Noetic: unknown

Familial/Fellowship: N/A

Unknown: unknown, thrush? (as in the bird) sesh? immesh?

_________________________

Titles

(what the individual experiencing the attraction calls those they’re in a relationship with)

Sexual: sex partner

Romantic: (date)friend, partner, significant other

Alterous: varies

Sensual: unknown, cuddle buddy?

QPlatonic: queerplatonic partner/qpp

Platonic: friend

Aesthetic: idol

Wavership: varies, wavermate

Amical: unknown

Guardianship: comate, grace, cherish, ward

Grace: concomitant, guide partner

Emotional: varies

Intellectual: unknown

Pragmatic: partner

Noetic: unknown

Erotic: N/A

Social: N/A

Familial/Fellowship: second sibling, second (parent term), any typically family-oriented term

Spiritual: spirit guide, soul mate, soul partner, spiritual partner

_________________________

Other forms of attraction exist, but I don’t know enough about them to list them.

This is the UPDATED (11/27/18) version of the previous list. After some consideration, more were added that I felt were important to those with neurodivergency, or nontraditional forms of relationships or attraction. 

Yes you may reblog this! 

[mogai-and-me]

nongelemasc | simplified nongelefem | simplified nongeleneu | simplified nongelenboy | simplified nongelengirl | simplified

more nongele- terms!

nongelemasc(uline): someone who is mostly or fully genderless with a small portion of or particular connection to masculinity

nongelefem(inine): someone who is mostly or fully genderless with a small portion of or particular connection to femininity

nongeleneu(tral): someone who is mostly or fully genderless with a small portion of or particular connection to neutrality

nongelenboy/nongelenguy/nongelenman: someone who is mostly or fully genderless with a small portion of or particular connection to nonbinary maleness

nongelengirl/nongelengal/nongelenwoman: someone who is mostly or fully genderless with a small portion of or particular connection to nonbinary femaleness

[mogai-and-me]

The 2021 Gender Census is now open!

[ Link to survey ]

The eighth annual international gender census, collecting information about the language we use to refer to ourselves and each other, is now open until 10th March 2021.

After the survey is closed I’ll process the results and publish a spreadsheet of the data and a report summarising the main findings. Then anyone can use them for academic or business purposes, self-advocacy, tracking the popularity of language over time, and just feeling like we’re part of a huge and diverse community.

If you think you might have friends and followers who’d be interested, please do reblog this blog post, retweet this tweet, boost this Mastodon post, check out this post on Reddit, and share the survey URL by email or at AFK social groups or on other social networks like Facebook. Every share is extremely helpful - it’s what helped us get 24,000 responses last year.

Survey URL: https://www.smartsurvey.co.uk/s/gendercensus2021/

The survey is open to anyone anywhere who speaks English and feels that the gender binary doesn’t fully describe their experience of themselves and their gender(s) or lack thereof.

Thank you so much!

[mogai-and-me]

the most annoying thing about the truscum movement is that they’ve given binary (and particularly cis people) a license to play detective while still convincing themselves that they’re the Real trans activists 

that post about having a gender that you show to cis people vs the gender you break out for other trans people like fine china is absolutely right. my gender is complex and multifaceted and I’d really rather not have it turned into a debate when I’m just trying to Exist, so it’s easier to just have something simple to hand out to strangers and go into more detail with people who you can trust or in conversations where it can’t be avoided.

but of course then those same people that would’ve made it a debate in the first place act like they’ve caught you committing gender fraud to get out of paying your gender taxes and use that suspicion like a battering ram 

[mogai-and-me]

Definitions made through a conversation on Pillowfort.

Quoiromanticflux/Quoiroflux: being quoiromantic while having fluctuating experiences with romantic attraction or feelings on romantic orientation.

Quoisexualflux/Quoixflux: being quoisexual while having fluctuating experiences with sexual attraction or feelings on sexual orientation.

Quoigenderflux: being quoigender while having fluctuating experiences with gender or feelings on gender.

Quoiroflux and quoixflux are unlike quoiflux because they are not tied to the a-spectrum. Quoi is not an a-spec term, and I am not always a-spec, so I did not feel comfortable using quoiflux. Quoiroflux or quoixflux person does not necessarily use additional labels or change their additional labels frequently due to their changing feelings, though it could encompass that experience. The addition of -flux indicates that their experience as a quoiroflux of quoixflux person is not static.

Quoigenderflux is different from genderquoiflux because a quoigenderflux person does not necessarily use additional labels or change their additional labels frequently due to their changing feelings, though it could encompass that experience. The addition of -flux indicates that their experience as a quoigender person is not static.

In the case of all the terms, just like quoi terms overall, one can use terms in tandem with these, like ace, aro, allo, trans, non-binary, cis, etc.

[mogai-and-me]

Shadowhoarder

Label for those who hoard labels, but hide them away and only show them to specific people/in specific places/on some days. It feels like the labels are being held under a cape/in a box/or somewhere else!

[mogai-and-me]

Controversial opinion, I know, but anti-mogai is really just a subtle way of saying ‘I’m bigoted towards fellow LGBT people I don’t like simply because I don’t understand their labels’ and it really shows. Y’all know that MOGAI stands for ‘Marginalized Orientations, Genders, And Intersex’… right? And that the whole anti-mogai movement was started by exclusionists trying to mask their bi/panphobia, aphobia and nbphobia?

If you don’t like the acronym (I don’t either) that’s fine, don’t use it. No one is asking you to. But don’t say you hate a select group of people just because you can’t understand their identities, that is truly LGBTphobic at the very least.

[mogai-and-me]

[mogai-and-me]

idk who on tumblr needs to hear this, but xenogenders aren’t the cause of transphobia, transphobes are the cause of transphobia, stop trying to appeal to cisgender assholes. if they don’t respect us, that’s not our fault that’s their fault. 

[mogai-and-me]

You need to realize that no amount of bullying asexuals or tucutes or polyams or whatever will make straight people respect you. The cishetero patriarchy doesn’t like you. They won’t like you if you bully and hurt and ostracize the ~weirdos~ in your community. They won’t respect you more. Oh yes, they might might might laugh with you for a little. It might be a great little bit of bootlicking fun when you two are laughing together at someone else. 

But in the end they will always kick you in the face and laugh at you again. 

[mogai-and-me]

Hi! As of 2020, not a lot of cringe blogs are still active. Here at hereisomecringeforya we are! We post kin cringe, furry cringe, mogai cringe, self dx cringe, and general tumblr shenanigans. There are three mods as of now, more on us in a different post! Feel free to request me to look at a blog or just say hi. All blogs’ url will be blocked for privacy.

[mogai-and-me]

genders by category/description

woo! okay, so this has been a lot of work. and it still isn’t entirely done, but i’m fine with posting it publically and people linking to it if they want.

this is an attempt to list every single gender, along with definition, flags, and alternate names for each term if available. i made this set of lists to help with the following:

questioning one’s identity/answering asks about “is there a word for..?”

finding flags for identities

double-checking to see if a word is already in use before coining something

etc! 

these lists definitely aren’t perfect, of course, and if you have any criticisms or comments, my askbox is open for them. but basically, i want this to be a resource that spreads and is able to help a lot of people! pinging a few people i follow to spread: @gender-resource @xeno-aligned @the-gender-collector-emself @mogaicore @neopronouns (will gladly untag/not do it again if this makes you uncomfy, just let me know!)

*EDIT* i’ll be working on this mostly alone, but you’re always welcome to message me and send me terms/flags i don’t have listed!

askbox

reddit: u/VinecentSauce

wikia: ezgender

email: monokinggacha@gmail.com

or just @ this blog when you post something!

also, this will be the tag i use to mark major updates

[mogai-and-me]

ya’ll support nonbinary people right up until they use any label other than “nonbinary” or any pronouns other than “they/them” lol

[mogai-and-me]

Hey, I'm looking for recommendations for things with characters who use it/its! If you know of any media where a character who uses it/its isn't immediately belittled by the narrator, let me know!

So far, I know of Murderbot, from the Murderbot Diaries book series, and The Toy Soldier, from the band The Mechanisms!