molly-e-simpson

[molly-e-simpson]

Hope from Haiti

Growing up in a Christian home in San Diego and going to church every Sunday, I have lived a fairly safe and comfortable life. Even when we moved to Northern California, I started attending a private, Christian school adding more to the comfortability. I did not learn how to make my faith my own until a couple years later, but even as someone who did not love God, it was a comfortable lifestyle. There was never a life altering event that ever occurred. After falling in love with God, I learned a good amount of the Bible, had a solid foundation in my Theological studies and had even done several missions trips. Then, I left the country. And there, I experienced suffering.

The goal on this trip to Haiti was to develop a community with long-term relationships while leading short-term trips for other teams from America. I, and a team of four other college students lived in Haiti for three months. We saw and dealt with many things that are not typical to my life in America. We lived in a highly demonized area, we dealt with sickness, with a lack of a Christian community, discouragement, division, death, the inability to see the fruit of our labor and a lot of other things.

All of these combined turned into being a traumatizing experience, but the hardest part was not this in itself, it was feeling far from God throughout the entirety of the time we were there. My soul was broken. I was discouraged and felt helpless. Haiti seemed like a lost cause. They were by far the most difficult three months of my life. But, for these things, I am now glad. This suffering has saved my faith. Because of suffering, I know what hope means. I know what faith means. 

Unfortunately, my experience with missions is not abnormal. A lot of stories sound very similar to what I went through. But, stories like mine are not talked about as often as the stories that are thought of as successful or the times where God appeared so distinctly and miraculously. In no way would I say our trip was a failure, nor should it be seen as discouraging. I hope to help people understand what hope is because of my suffering. It has not been easy. Even being able to say that I have hope is a huge step from where I was two months ago.

Returning to America, I was embarrassed. I came back ashamed that I could not see how God used us in Haiti for His glory. I was frustrated that all the hard things were so difficult to process and it was hard to admit to my friends that the summer was not a good one. I stayed quiet thinking that things would become clear to me in due time and maybe I would be able to understand why we went through and saw so many difficult things. I convinced myself that this would be easier for the sake of the people around me. I did not want to discourage the church or my friends with what stories I had (and needed) to share.

This brought up something in me that I could not see for awhile. It brought up something called Christian moralism. Do we feel most loved by our parents when we do something good or when we do something bad? Obviously, we feel more loved when we have not done something bad. I had to come to terms with feeling like I had failed God and did not want to tell Him how I felt. My relationship with God was barely there. I tried to wait for things to become clear apart from God when in actuality He calls us to come to Him with our broken hearts. This was about a month process for me to realize. In finally seeing that I needed to talk to God about how I felt, that is where my healing process began.

Romans 5:2-5 says, “Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the gory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing the suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”

Suffering has shown me that God makes an incredible promise like no other. Nothing else can give us a hope that things will be made into something glorious and beautiful and perfect. Nothing else shows us that evil has been defeated. God gives us a life everlasting and promises us that there will be no more tears or sickness or death. Even though I did not feel God present in Haiti, I knew that He cared because of His word that He has given us. Despite seeing anything good come from our service to the village of Fond Blanc, I know that God does things in His own timing. I have hope that our time there will be redeemed, even if we do not see it for years. This hope is something that I have held onto through the pain and doubts, and this has produced in me a stronger sense of faith and trust in God.

But, even though I am in a place where I am reconciling what happened in Haiti, I do not wish for anyone to go through what we did. That is why stories exist. That is why we have the Bible. That is why we have community. Community is very important and that is the second biggest lesson I learned. It is difficult trying to lead churches while not getting poured into from a community. I read of a metaphor one time, comparing ourselves to a stream. Do we want people drinking from a stream that is flowing where all the dirt and bacteria are getting washed away? Or do we want people to drink from a stagnant pond where bacteria builds up? If we are not getting poured into or seeking out truth and teaching from God and a Christian community, we become stagnant, and the more people drink from us, the dryer we become and the more worn out we become. Without community we do not have encouragement. This is constantly seen in the Bible when Paul or someone else is thrown in prison. They are constantly writing and receiving letters of encouragement to one another. Paul always had a community. In most of the American churches, it is something we easily take for granted because we always have a community around us. We do not realize how much it benefits us or how much we need it or how much it really affects us until we are without it. Church, please appreciate your community.

My final thoughts are these: Have hope, no matter what situation you are in, no matter what degree of suffering you are going through. We have a God that is almighty and all powerful. Do not look to yourself to find healing, because a broken person cannot heal a broken person. Only an unbroken and whole being can heal a broken person and that’s God. And God has already won. Take this hope and run with it. Be glad in it. And because of this, share why you have hope and joy.

[molly-e-simpson]

Unity is a Choice

Unity is a word that heard in church every Sunday. If it’s not every Sunday, it’s more than that, especially if you attend a Christian University. We all want this thing called unity. We think that it means peace. We think that it means that everyone is on the same page as each other. I think that the church has this idea that we need to recognize each other’s differences and reconcile. But, what often ends up happening is we get a whole bunch of people who feel like they need to be appreciated for who they are in one room together thinking that everyone else should recognize their individuality and giftings and passions.

Our individuality and how we display it is a choice. 

Something about having the ability to choose things is extremely attractive to people. And culture is creating more options for us to choose from, like being able to personalize things, to create things, to write down our bios for everyone to see, to choose what occupation we will hold, to choose which social group we fit into, and, as of recent, choose which gender group are. Things that were originally fact about humanity are becoming choice. We get joy out of ‘making ourselves’, and now we have the opportunity to make ourselves from the inside out. But the more options we are given to do this, the more room for division is created. The more we choose to make ourselves up as individuals and the more we choose who to hang out with or who to keep in contact with or what we choose to do, etc. , the more we separate ourselves from everyone else. This is not always the case, but when our intentions behind our choices are not monitored, this is the result. 

Do not read this though and think that I am saying that unity is conforming or not having a choice. Unity is a choice. But how do we cultivate this when we are in a culture of so many differing individuals who are all fighting for individuality? Unity starts with us and involves several different changes in attitude from us: recognition, love, and humility. 

We must recognize that we are not the only people gifted in the church. Recognize that other people have the same amount of passion for Los Angeles as we do for Haiti or Africa. Just because one passion involves living with orphans and the other does not, does not make the person with the ‘heart for Los Angeles’ any weaker of a Christian. We must recognize that everyone has their own individual struggles. We must choose to walk with them in this. 

We must love. This sounds simple, but we need to remind ourselves what this actually looks like. Having an uncomfortable conversation with someone during greeting time in church is not what loving someone looks like. This is a first step, but in order to promote unity, we do things for each other, find commonality, find something to encourage them in, ways to get them plugged in. Love should not be limited to one 20 second conversation in church. A whole sermon in itself could be taught about this. Love cultivates unity by providing comfort for people where they are able to be authentic knowing that someone is walking with them in what they are going through. They have people to rejoice with, to weep with, to talk to and people to listen to. Jesus is our example of what loving others looks like. He chose to talk to the sick, to the tax collectors, to people in authority, and everyone else that people thought He should not talk to.

We must be humble. Division is created when our pride of who we are individually gets in the way of appreciating what other people offer. We have to remind ourselves that the same amount of grace was extended to us as it was to our neighbor. We all sin and we all have our own passions, but some things we all have in common are our humanity and our brokenness. No one is better because they are the pastor or the worship leader. No one is better because they lived in a different country in an orphanage for a week to two years. When we remind ourselves of where we all come from, we are able to listen and understand and put aside our differences and come together as a body.

Let us strive to promote unity. Take the time to listen to why someone likes something that you don’t. Take the time to ask why the person’s week was good or bad. Take time to ask how someone in the church is actually doing. These are all things we need to choose to do. These are things we need to choose to be a part of us. We can choose to not listen to someone or we can choose to listen. We can choose to love someone to a larger degree than before or we can choose not to. We can choose to be someone who actually promotes unity instead of choosing to talk about our own passions. We can choose to understand other people or we can choose to continue to make ourselves. These choices will promote understanding, and from understanding, there will come unity.

[molly-e-simpson]

Isn’t it beautiful? How we find God when we lose ourselves? Isn’t He beautiful? The Creator of the stars and you and I.

Aisha Iqbal (via asoulsearch)

[molly-e-simpson]

Wisdom recognizes an important principle of human nature: there is no standing still; we progress in the direction of our choice.

[molly-e-simpson]

What a GOD we worship.

Bob Kauflin

[molly-e-simpson]

In a state of stillness

It may cause one to ponder

the weight of what is

or the enrichment of what was.

A reflection of what was, is and will be.

In wonder of the seemingly unreachable

clarity that now speaks truth

to a desirably teachable soul.

[molly-e-simpson]

Christian

I am associated with a group of people who have been called shrewd, loving, passionate, hateful, judgemental, sincere, peaceful, patronizing, helpful, etc. But we really like to be called Christians or even followers of Christ. It would be ignorant of any one of us to deny the fact that people who have called themselves 'christians' have caused strife amongst many other negative similies. This is true. But, I do not want people to be turned away from Christianity because of the way someone who calls themself a christian acted. Yes, it makes sense that no one would want to be associated with christians after they were judged, were cursed or were ostracized by someone who claimed the title of a christian. I encourage people to try again, perhaps in a different church. But, speaking for myself now, it is when people hate God because of their relation with one human that is frustrating to me beyond what I wish to admit. Humans are not God. God is not human. In a small and unworthy comparison, I will not hate a person's parent(s) because their child cheated me, let alone I will not judge their god. My view of someone's lineage is not affected for me by the way a family member is acting. God is not defined by an imperfect person. God is God. Before someone starts to criticize Christianity or the Bible, I would really hope the facts are straight and that they have thoroughly tried to read the Word without looking to find flaw. God is love, you just have to look for that.

I am not proud of the way that Christians have acted. It is not always right. They are not always followers of Christ. But, the bad things are the ones that are highlighted because that is what people in society want to see. I am proud of the good, though. I am proud of the response to serve. I am proud of the quick willingness to go to Haiti after the earthquake, of the eagerness to help the widowed and orphaned, of the heart for the homeless, of the call to help after Indonesia's tsunami, of the community who loves well, of the people who love God and love His word and show it. 

[molly-e-simpson]

This chorus is on repeat in my mind. These artists are genuine. They are visible. They do what they do well.

[molly-e-simpson]

When Home is Hard

Coming home after a period of time, even as short as four months, some anxiety it not unexpected, but not welcome either. It is exciting getting to reconnect with friends, go to favorite spots in the area, see family, etc. I love seeing the way my church is moving forward and growing as a family. I come back and can feel the stronger community. I love seeing my town change in small little ways with new paintings and stores opening up on main street. However, coming back also brings a lot of challenges. How do I come to terms with the person I am now in a place full of memories of the person I was before? Coming back can pull someone to be the person they were before they left. I consider how I have grown since being in these places. I am different, but is it in a way God has grown me towards? Am I closer to being the person God wants me to be? These are questions that Christians should constantly be reflecting on, but especially for those who are returning to home. Coming back home also brings up old pains. All the issues at home never seemed as imminent when away from them. Now, being back, they are still here, some more than ever. Some worse, some the same state as before. It is almost like the issues, or the people, were put on pause. Outside of those, other people have obviously changed. When coming back, friends will have inside jokes that you do not know about. Other friends will move away, people we know will make changes or big decisions, loved ones will pass, our families will seem a little different than before. What was once home no longer feels familiar. But, I am relieved to be reminded that this is not really home and things were never actually meant to be this hard. When returning, we can not expect things to be familiar or better somehow. We can not control what goes on around us, but we can control how we react to it all. 

[molly-e-simpson]

Half-hearted praise is an oxymoron.

Bob Kauflin

[molly-e-simpson]

Teach me the way of life. Fill me with the joy of your presence.

Psalm 16:11 (via worshipgifs)

[molly-e-simpson]

Music is the explosive expression of humanity. It awakens parts of our mind and soul like no other art form. It expresses things that can't be said, but are impossible to keep in silence. Music is one of the greatest gifts from GOD and I believe it is a language of Heaven.

[molly-e-simpson]

"We hope that every record we make leads people on a journey, We are not just putting out a group of songs that doesn’t have any connectedness to the songs before. So if you took our records you would see Over and Underneath that’s this belief that at the height of our purity, Christ went...

[molly-e-simpson]

Our generation has been told that we "can do anything we set our mind to" or "you're unique. You're going places." As a Christian, I have seen this to other people in the church many times and even in myself, that we are told these things and expect to be more than an unknown. Our role is not to be known, but to do everything with excellence because we want to make God known through our actions. Our generation's greatest challenge and goal, we think, is achieving greatness. But really, our greatest challenge is and should be seeing the greatness in what God is accomplishing in us in where we are and being constantly faithful through it. It is often hard to stay put in one place for awhile or even begin to think about settling down because this generation is so used to being occupied. Things always move around us and when we get bored somewhere we are used to just moving on to the next thing because those 'new and improved' things were always available. How can we be excellent and really immerse ourselves to do something actually impacting if we do not ever stay with what we started? When planting a seed, we do not put it in the ground and leave. We make sure it is watered and in the sun and pruned and keep it alive. If we do not stick with it, the plant becomes withered or even dies. Likewise, us millennials should be willing to stick with the relationships around us and tasks set before us, love others excellently and seek to see the greatness He is using you in. Through this, we will be known. Moving around because we want to 'do great things' and will try new things until we are great at it will never satisfy us or be any different from what the world does. We need to be seeking God and sometimes that means staying in one place for awhile.

[molly-e-simpson]

Thou my best though by day or by night. Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou My Vision

[molly-e-simpson]

Kalimantan, Indonesia

[molly-e-simpson]

All experiences of suffering in the path of Christian obedience, whether from persecution or sickness or accident, have this in common: they all threaten our faith in the goodness of GOD and tempt us to leave the path of obedience. Therefore, every triumph of faith and all perseverance in obedience are testimonies to the goodness of GOD and the preciousness of CHRIST-whether the enemy is sickness, Satan, sin, or sabotage.Therefore, all suffering, of every kind, that we endure in the path of our Christian calling is a suffering "with CHRIST" and "for CHRIST". We suffer with HIM in that it comes to us when we are walking with HIM by faith and we are able to endure it with the strength HE provides through HIS grace. Suffering for HIM is what tests and proves our allegiance to HIS goodness and power and in the sense that it reveals HIS worth as an all-sufficient compensation and prize. 

Recently, my mind was being sabotaged with thoughts of doubt that I can not fulfill GOD's will for my life. Which, now that I am writing it, is absolutely ridiculous, but is an all too real obstacle for Christians. 

Yesterday, I had the rare privilege of putting everything aside and taking an hour to pray and sit in silence, listening to GOD. About 20 minutes in, the fears seemed so small compared to HIS power and will. My soul and heart were refreshed and what I thought were valid doubts became silly nuisances, a thorn. (2 Corinthians 12) 

Not only did this awaken my soul, it reignited my appreciation and passion for prayer. Prayer is not something that is typically emphasized as much as other things, (like reading the Word and singing praises to YHWH) but it is powerful and way more enriching than I realized before. GOD hears. GOD acts. HE wants you to have that intimate time of conversation with HIM. That's how we get to know HIM more. Some days I will sit wondering why I don't feel GOD. It's because I don't know HIM, or at least have not kept up in listening to HIM and dwelling in HIS presence. 

Wrapping up because at the moment it is 2 in the morning, suffering with and for GOD becomes a joy when you truly are walking with HIM in faith and by HIS strength.