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📝 These past few months since I've been recovering from cancer treatment & gaining my strength back, I have been focusing 😌 on writing my memoir. This will entail the creative & emotional journey behind my "Twin Dedication" series.
I feel there is a reason I am still here, as although the odds were stacked against me with my cancer diagnosis last fall as I share a rare immune blood disorder with Suzanne, somehow I've made it through 🙏
In fact, my tests 🙃 now show no signs of cancer and I have to believe 💙 I'm truly meant to stick around for a bit.
I've used this tumblr app as a diary though the years, not really caring if I reached a large audience as this was really just a means to an end.
But now, with the completion of my 6 painting series in dedication to my identical twin Suzanne who passed from cancer in 2009 - the desire to share my art 🎨 is strong.
This exercise of journalling and now writing and editing my thoughts on my artistic journey - is in itself a cathartic and healing process.
I'm excited to push this book idea forward and share the images and story with you all in hopes that I can inspire and help others 🦋.
I truly believe that there is so much healing 💖 to be had when we work through our feelings whether it be with music, dance, writing or brushstrokes...
#beatingcancer #twinlesstwin #twinloss #arttherapy #memoir #diary #journey #griefwork #heal #healing #HealingTrauma #siblingloss #griefjourney #grief
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🌻 This process took over 10 years of tears and hard work.. I present "Reunion", the last in my 6 painting series in dedication to my identical twin Suzanne who succumbed to a lengthy health battle in 2009. This canvas is still drying & unvarnished as yet, so I chose to present 2 versions, one indirect lighting, the other in full sun. It's amazing the difference in colors 😍 but there's beauty in both.. I will be getting all the work professionally documented for inclusion in the memoir I am currently ✍.. As these 6 paintings were done for purely selfish reasons, as I literally created a lifeline forward and a version of Heaven I could accept, I feel the final culmination was to share the intimate process I undertook.. So I will keep everyone posted for when I will share 🙂 with those who find this interesting...#twinlesstwin #griefjourney #griefwork #arttherapy #artistsoninstagram #twinloss #death # healing #art


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🦋 This little pastel sketch "Trust" encapsulates my emotions this past year since my cancer diagnosis... it literally put my life, and of course, the completion of my series on hold. With meditation and prayer 🙏, I hope the tumor continues to shrink as I try to regain my energy... I'm painting again finally now after months of treatment & exhaustion.
This experience only reminds me of what Suzanne's journey was like. Our Immune suppression affected her more deeply than I 😢 though, with 7 years of intensive health battles.
So although I drew this for myself, I know twin felt the same ways all those years, just walking tentatively forward with only your breath to guide you...
#cancer #cancersurvivor #twinlesstwin #fineart #artwork #arttherapy

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😕 It's been so very long since I posted... Perhaps I felt sick of my own thoughts, and that no one cared.. But having been diagnosed with rectal cancer this past fall, and having to put the completion on my dedication series for Suzanne on hold, I realize now - 🦋 I need to write again.
I've gone through hell this winter, as those who follow me understand my identical twin died from cancer (we share a rare immune genetic disease 🤧Gata-2) that as much as I miss her, I needed to fight to stay here 💔... so I can finish this series for her & grow old producing new 🎨...

#CANCERSUCKS #FAITHOVERFEAR #justsayno #aworkinprogress #arttherapy
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As I continue my progress in my dedication series to my identical twin Suzanne, I realized you all may not know what a wonderful artist she was... I use her brushes now, her reference photos and her image of course, to inspire me along to complete my dedication. She told me in a dream after she died that I would "heal with every brushstroke. ..." #Heaven #aworkinprogress #twinlesstwin #journey #twinloss #process #HealingTheSoul #art #healingthroughart #arttherapy #sisters #bond #loveneverdies #painting #grief https://www.instagram.com/p/BpActOlDtVZ/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=k71sg2u53amg
#heaven#aworkinprogress#twinlesstwin#journey#twinloss#process#healingthesoul#art#healingthroughart#arttherapy#sisters#bond#loveneverdies#painting#grief
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A good studio day... colour studies next, only 1000 hours left to complete the last in my dedication series to my identical twin Suzanne...... :) #twinlesstwin #aworkinprogress #art#artist#drawing#Sketching#sketchbook#sketches#pencildrawing#pencil#portrait#fineart#process #artishealing #grief work #healingthroughart #arttherapy #sisters https://www.instagram.com/p/BoX-SgIDOyi/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=2ys5p29srj22
#twinlesstwin#aworkinprogress#art#artist#drawing#sketching#sketchbook#sketches#pencildrawing#pencil#portrait#fineart#process#artishealing#grief#healingthroughart#arttherapy#sisters
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Would you leave the bed? #studiolife #studiocat #romeoshouldbefamous #catlovers #cats #pets #animalart #catsofinstagram
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Wind-up toy
I broke your wind up toy tonight. It was a stupid accident. It was on the floor & got stepped on. I saved all the pieces in a baggie. .. I had finally let Romeo play with it.... it's been over 9 years since I remember you picking it out. A month before you died. In a wheelchair then, cancer, pain & other inflictions taking over...
We were in the hospital pharmacy filling yet another prescription for pain meds. You saw these random wind up mice on sale beside the till..
Even in great pain, with heaviness all around. You spent 10 minutes trying to pick the cutest mouse, the one you thought your Buttercup would love the most....
TWIN,
You never ever stopped amazing me. Your strength, resilience, and ability to love when it would have been so justified for you to feel hate..
I miss you so damn much.
As time goes on, and I grow older without you as my mirror. I am finally letting go ever so slightly of the "things" attached to the memory. And instead, focusing on the "feelings" instead. ..
If I could be half as amazing as you. .. I'll be blessed. .
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Having a toast right now to my dear twin, my favorite partner in crime, happiest just to be together. .. Miss you Suzanne.... #twins #twinlesstwin #aworkinprogress #twin #artist #healingthroughart
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I present "Her Dance", #5 in my 6 painting dedication series to my identical twin Suzanne... Although the canvas is still wet and I know I will obsessively tweak for a while before finale varnishing, my personal goal was to complete it for today, April 19th which marks 9 years since her death. Those who knew twin knew her love of dancing & autumn ( loves both her & I shared). She lost herself in music & movement whenever possible and she was my mirror dance partner...we loved nothing more than being the centre of attention . :) But the meaning behind this image symbolises much more, as fall is a time of ripeness, fullness and harvest before the cold barrenness of winter.... (for me, that is cancer...) I designed this panstakingly, using mirror "Nature's Spirals" to represent myself in spirit, as leaves in the wind. DANCING with my beloved twin for eternity. .. I've had to create my own concept of Heaven after she died in order to want to live without her in my physical world... I am doing this with paint and "healing with every brushstroke "... Suzanne, I love you .. and miss you every damn day.. #twinlesstwin #aworkinprogress#twinloss #progress #healing #art #process #contemporaryart #portraits #realistic #realism #instaartist #instaart #oilpainting #fineart #portraiture #oiloncanvas
#oiloncanvas#contemporaryart#healing#instaartist#aworkinprogress#twinloss#instaart#oilpainting#progress#realistic#art#twinlesstwin#process#portraiture#fineart#portraits#realism#5
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Moving towards completion. I hope by the anniversary of her death, April 19th - that I can reveal a finished painting. . Realistically, I will sit with this for some time. Tweaking small elements until I realize I’m no longer improving the tribute. .. Knowing there’s only one more to go, is strange. This has been a long long emotional and painful process which has ultimately - created beauty in the end… I’d burn all these paintings though, for 5 minutes more with my twin Suzanne. … #figurativeart #oilpainting #portrait #fineart #woman #artistsontwitter #artistlife #aworkinprogress #twinlesstwin #twin #painting #oil #inprogress #progress #process #heal #transformation #art#artist #arttherapy #grief #twinloss
#fineart#art#heal#inprogress#oil#woman#artistlife#artistsontwitter#progress#process#portrait#arttherapy#twinloss#twin#grief#oilpainting#twinlesstwin#painting#aworkinprogress#figurativeart#artist#transformation
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"Flight", oil on canvas. Feelings of transcendence, shifting realities and faith weigh in my heart of late.... also, remembering my late friend who modelled for me and what a beautiful spirit she was.. #figurativeart #oilpainting #portrait #fineart #faith #meditation #artiststudio #artistsoninstagram #art #oiloncanvas #spiritual
#art#artiststudio#fineart#figurativeart#faith#spiritual#oiloncanvas#artistsoninstagram#meditation#oilpainting#portrait
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When a painting is so personal to you, you hold your breath with each brushstroke..... (may 2018 be the year I complete the last 2 paintings in my Twin Dedication series ) #figurativeart #oilpainting #portrait #fineart #aworkinprogress #oiloncanvas #portrait #twinlesstwin #artiststudio #artistsoninstagram #art
#twinlesstwin#artistsoninstagram#oilpainting#portrait#figurativeart#artiststudio#fineart#aworkinprogress#oiloncanvas#art
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Remembering an older studio, with my "organized" chaos and pegboard of ispirational reference material... Also, very nostalgic as with my shorter hair, I look so much more like my identical twin, Suzanne. 2018 feels like a big year, to finish my tribute serious for twin, full steam ahead... #figurativeart #aworkinprogress #artistsoninstagram #painting #artiststudio
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Back in the day when I lived above a bank on a "happening" street. I created "Doorway Atelier", painting nightly new works & treating my doorway as a studio for all to see. Usually, with a cocktail close by (not going to lie!) Miss that time.... #figurativeart #artist_life #artistsoninstagram #liveart #portrait #art #oiloncanvas #commission #livepainting
#livepainting#art#oiloncanvas#figurativeart#portrait#artist_life#commission#liveart#artistsoninstagram
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For all those struggling with demons or loss this holiday season, I send my love. May you be surrounded by those who understand you & choose only gentle words, and are brave enough to show true empathy when the tears flow.... #twinlesstwin #aworkinprogress #graphitedrawing #pencildrawing #pencil #graphite #figurativeart #sketchbook #sketches #art #artist_life #illustration #healingthroughart
#graphite#pencildrawing#sketchbook#pencil#graphitedrawing#aworkinprogress#sketches#artist_life#healingthroughart#twinlesstwin#illustration#figurativeart#art
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"Meagan", oil on painting. A commission given as a Christmas gift. Thrilled to have heard she loved it! She was a joy to paint... #figurativeart #oilpainting #portrait #fineart #oiloncanvas #commission #artistsoninstagram #faces
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