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moon-ttokki-x · 10 days ago

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haii! I <3 ur work sm omigosh------- can you do a college/university au with jisung where the reader has really bad testing anxiety and she literally can't focus even though this is a huge final grade and she needs to do well or she'll have to repeat the class, and she's just like internally freaking out? +comfort and fluff at the end+ <33 idk, this has just been sitting in my head all day..

hihi !! this came at such a relatable time tbh . . . i've been preparing for exams and this was such a relaxing request to write . wish i had a jisung tho hehe :>

pressure - (bsf!han jisung x fem!reader)

pairing: bsf!han jisung x fem!reader

summary: when your testing anxiety gets the better of you, jisung is right there to help you back up .

genre: college!au, mentions of vomiting, mentions of eating or drinking, reader has a panic attack, jisung is so sweet and helpful, seungmin is an absolute little shit, changbin and felix cameo

a/n: somehow my jisung fics always end with soup or hugs . . . if someone could figure out why, that'd be great . . .

skz masterlist

"I don't get it," you groan, letting your head crash onto the textbook laid out in front of you. "This makes no sense whatsoever."

"Fair," Jisung admits from next to you. He adjusts his glasses, which are slipping off the bridge of his nose. "But still. It just takes a little bit of time to understand-"

"I don't have time!" You cry out. Changbin and Felix hurriedly shush you from the other side of the table, and Seungmin looks up from his book with an annoyed glare. You shoot it right back.

"Don't glare at me," you mutter venomously. "Lucky fucker, you finished your exams early. But some of us still have work to do."

"No shit," Seungmin replies coolly.

You almost flip the table.

Jisung sympathetically pats your shoulder as you sink down into his shoulder, sighing in defeat. Seungmin preens himself, pettily victorious. You feel pathetic, moping into your friend's shoulder while the rest of your exam materials scatter the table like a paper bomb.

"Do you want me to explain it to you?" Jisung says softly. "You still have a couple hours until you go in. Don't worry, okay?"

You just shake your head and close your eyes. He puts an arm around you and motions pointedly to the three boys scattered around the table.

Changbin takes Felix's hand and Seungmin sighs before taking his feet off the table. Felix mouths a sweet 'good luck' over his shoulder before the three of them exit the library.

You lift your head slightly, head feeling like a ball of lead stuck on your shoulders. Your body feels so stiff from the long hours of sitting and revising, but you straighten up and try to focus again.

Pressing your hands to the sides of your head, you zoom in on the paragraph you've been trying to understand for the past hour. Ten minutes ago, you could actually read what the words said, but now it all blurs together in a fog of letters. Before you know it, your thoughts are racing.

This exam is really important.

You've been studying for it for such a long time, doing a little bit of content every single day in order to keep up with the pace you'd set for yourself. You'd heard it repeated day after day, by everyone from other students in your course, your lecturers, your professors, and everyone in between. This exam really matters. It determines most of your grade for this year, and if you don't pass it and receive a good score, you'll have to repeat the class.

You can no longer feel Jisung's hand on your back, rubbing its familiar soothing circles. You can't hear his voice, whispering soothing phrases and attempting to reassure you. Your palms are clammy and you feel so hot, so cold...

You want to rip your skin off and you shake your head in frantic, erratic motions, as if you can rid yourself of the thoughts seizing control from you.

All you can hear is yourself in your head, racing, panicky thoughts flooding your mind like a constant stream of freezing, icy water. Every time you come up for air, you're shoved back down by another current, drowning. The weight of expectations and the importance of the exam and the stress and the burnout and the potential consequences of not doing well, not doing enough, all pounces on you at the same time.

Bile rises in your throat like an acidic wave.

Jisung calls your name as you rush out of your seat and bolt from the library, pushing his hand off yourself as you flee. You turn round corridors and push past people, your vision blackening at the edges. A dull buzz rings in your head and you only just make it to a bathroom, throwing yourself against the door and bolting into the cubicle. The smell of disinfectant and the faint scent of perfume fills your senses and you retch over the toilet bowl.

Tears spill down your cheeks and your knees throb from the impact when you dropped to the ground. You feel so dizzy, so sick, and you fight not to throw up your entire system, you're so overwhelmed. A sob escapes your throat.

There's a skid and thud and suddenly Jisung is next to you, breathless. He locks the cubicle door, the space enough for both of you to sit, and pushes his dark hair out of his face, kneeling down next to your trembling figure.

He places a hand on your back, peeling strands of sweaty hair off your face. Rubbing those familiar circles again, he coos into your ear, gentle and not judging as you look up at him with teary, red-rimmed eyes. You can barely gasp his name.

He studies you with a look of worried concern. "You done?"

You nod weakly.

He slings an arm under you and around your back, helping you to stand up. Unlocking the cubicle door, he helps you to the sink and you rinse your mouth with shaking hands, fatigued and dizzy. Jisung remains a steady presence beside you, gently encouraging and whispering praise as you dry your hands.

"Let's go back to the dorm," he says softly.

You shake your head anxiously, black dots swimming in your vision. Your knees buckle and Jisung moves you so you're leaning against the wall.

"Please," he says quietly. "I'll ask Changbin to pack up your exam stuff. You already have your exam materials prepared. Just, please take a while to rest. You look terrible."

You shake your head but Jisung doesn't give you much choice. Not that you had one to begin with; you can barely walk without his help. It takes around half an hour for him to help you through countless hallways corridors, and stairways.

He unlocks the door to his dorm; he's pretty much dragging you next to him at this point. You're too dizzy, tired, and nauseous to know where you are, but you trust Jisung enough to care for you.

He helps you brush your teeth; you started to keep some spare personal items at his place because of how often you came over. He did the same for your dorm, and you sigh as he helps you change clothes into a looser outfit. You collapse on his bed while he heads to the kitchen.

You hear the domestic noises of dishes clattering, the kettle flicking on while the noises of Jisung shuffling around reach your ears in a muted haze.

You're about to fall asleep, your weak frame sinking into the mattress when he reenters the room. The smell of broth fills the air.

You sit up as he places a tray with a bowl of broth, a banana, and a bottle of water on the bedside table.

He sits down next to you, holding a spoon. "Changbin's got your stuff and he says he'll wait near your exam room til you have to go in. You have two hours to rest up and eat."

You sigh on a long, shaky exhale, face pale. "Thank you, Sung."

"Here," he says with a grin, pressing the spoon into your hand. "You need some fuel after throwing your guts up."

You come out of the exam room in a daze; you turn the corner and find Jisung waiting there, leaning against the wall, his bottom lip caught between his teeth in a comical, hopeful expression.

He pushes off the wall and takes the clear plastic bag of pencils and pens out of your hand, swiping it and shoving it in his hoodie pocket.

"So?" He says. "How'd it go?"

You pause, blinking. Letters dance in front of your eyes. "I- Well. I didn't throw up again, at least."

He whoops, almost smacking you in the face as he throws his hands up. "Let's go. Good job, Y/n." He pats your head. His wide eyes fix themselves on your own, clearly still able to see the anxiety behind your gaze.

You both pause in the middle of the hallway. Jisung straightens up soberly as you exhale deeply.

You still feel a little bit dizzy, definitely tired and fatigued from not only the exam but the mental exhaustion you've been fighting for the past few months. You worked so hard, and your anxieties haven't dissolved completely; you still have to get your grade back. But the main part is over, at least. Now, you can relax, take some medicine to settle your stomach from earlier, and maybe eat something good to celebrate.

Once you feel better, of course.

You look at Jisung; he's staring off into the distance, clearly not minding the silence at all. His hair flops into his face, glasses slipping off the bridge of his nose, humming something to himself. You recognise the melody, just about making out the pitches of his current favourite song.

You step forward and fall into him, arms finding that familiar place around his waist. He doesn't blink, and his vision stays unfocused in that dazed look, but his arms circle around you like a protective blanket, hands rubbing soft, warm circles on your lower back.

"Sung," you say softly, voice slightly croaky.

His chin comes to rest lightly on the top of your head. "Mmm?"

"Thank you for taking care of me."

He chuckles, pulling you back gently with one hand on your shoulder. "You're okay. I get exam anxiety too. I know it can be a lot, but you should be proud no matter what your result is. You worked so hard, Y/n."

You nod, gazing at him. He pats your back and then tickles your side, making you giggle. You push his hands away mock-disapprovingly.

"Come on," he chuckles. "Let's go get something to eat. You must be starving after all that."

a/n: div by @cafekitsune

ttokki's taglist: @emilyywhyy @galaxy4489 @hyuneskkami @justsomekpopstuff @wavetohannie @strayingawayy @its-stayville-forever @sillyseob @wickedbutlovely @headfirstfortoro @lov3yv4mps @possum-playground @bear8585 @astraystayyh @m-325 @gnabnahcbby @mbioooo0000 @akindaflora @tsunderelino @hhwangsmoon @crazyforthatbangchandude @bluebellsringinghereandthere @ladylexis @tillaboo @geni-627 @jsngprk-vhs @stellasays45 @de-uns-tempos-pra-ca @luvvchn

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moon-ttokki-x · 12 days ago

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I hope you're having a better day today :< I just read what the other anon wrote- that's really messed up >:(( If they're gonna act like that, they don't deserve to read your fics! I meant what I said before~ You write really really well!! :))

ahaha thank you so much :> yeah some people are just wayyy too sensitive . . . like it's just a skz fic be so fr . i'm glad you like my writing, though, sweetheart 🖤

#what a sweet anon omg #im adopting you #theres no escape !!#🗨️🐇#moon ttokki x #ttokki talks #🖤🐇⛓️#anon 🐇#stray kids #skz

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moon-ttokki-x · 12 days ago

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“ hey so this is super angsty bc ive kinda had a shit week so you guys are coming down with me HAHAHAHAH” that sounds like a fucking YOU problem don’t ya think???

WHOA okay calm down . . . no one said you had to read my fics lmao . so sensitive omg . . .

anyway if you wanna insult me at least come off anon, coward

#ttokki talks #moon ttokki x #🖤🐇⛓️#anon 🐇#🗨️🐇#stray kids #skz #hwang hyunjin

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moon-ttokki-x · 13 days ago

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ooh could you do 53 & 64 with Hyunjin? you write really well!

. . . hey so this is super angsty bc ive kinda had a shit week so you guys are coming down with me HAHAHAHAH . also thank you for the compliment :>

unclicked - (bf!hwang hyunjin x fem!reader)

pairing: bf!hwang hyunjin x fem!reader

summary: hyunjin has been distant lately and you finally snap.

genre: idol!au, fem!reader, mentions of eating and drinking, kkami mention, mentions of feeling like throwing up, broken glass, mentions of injuries and crying, reader struggles with eating, mentions of neglect and apathy, hyunjin is kinda a jerk in this fic but i also feel bad so . . . you decide who the villain is

a/n: yeah so there's no happy ending, fuckers . . . be warned

🖤 prompts: 53. "Why are you so afraid of the truth?" / 64. "I thought I had everything figured out."

skz masterlist | skz prompt list

You had always been the affectionate type; gentle, loving, yet excitable. The type to ramble about your day over dinner while smiling and piling more food onto your plate, unaware of your lover's smitten gaze; the type that would have your arms open for Hyunjin when he came home from a long day at the company. He forever relished your comfort and the warmth of your body against his, always open to your soft words and cute smiles.

But lately, he had been distant.

Now he was out the door before you had even left the bed; always coming home late and never showing up when you needed him to. Like the time you smashed a glass and texted him asking for him to come home, but he didn't. So you cleaned it up and patched up your hand without him. Or like the time when you both finally had a day off and he spent it with the rest of his members even though you'd already made plans. You got left at home, alone, because all the rest of your friends had plans already and it wasn't like it mattered, anyway, that you were alone.

Not really. You'd chosen to understand rather than getting pissed off at him about it.

You weren't too sure about that decision now.

You sigh and begin to pick up the plates. You'd laid out dinner for two so both of you could sit and eat immediately after getting home, even though Hyunjin worriedly insisted you should eat even before he got back. You never listened, though, always wanting to share a meal with him while you both exchanged details about your days. It was one of your favourite parts of being with him; being able to welcome him home with a warm hug and a plate of good food.

But now it'd gone cold. And you were alone. Again.

The clock on the wall reads 10:43 PM.

Kkami runs up to you as you clatter dishes into the sink; he bounces hopefully around your feet, and you smile before giving him a forkful of the dinner. He yaps and licks it off messily, his high-pitched barks filling the empty apartment.

You don't bother taking any of the food for yourself, simply shoving it all into a plastic container and tossing it onto a shelf in the fridge. You were hungry when you were cooking; the rumbles of your stomach overlaid the noises of a knife against the chopping board and the simmering of the stove, but you just feel drained now. Too tired to eat, too defeated to care about the hollowness in your gut.

You wash up the remaining dishes and stack them neatly in the dishrack. Kkami comes up to you again, hoping for another bite, and you kneel down and scratch his fluffy head.

"Looks like it's just you and me," you say quietly. "Again."

The dog tilts his head, two black eyes in a mass of black and white fluff. He seems to understand, and he flops down on the floor while you run damp fingers through his fur.

"He's been coming home late so often," you mumble absentmindedly, still stroking the little dog. Your fingers pause.

He wouldn't cheat.

Would he?

No, you tell yourself, shaking your head to clear the thought out. Hyunjin wouldn't do that. He loves me, he cares for me. He clings to me every possible moment of the day. There's no way he would ever do something like that.

Then again...

He's surrounded by girls much prettier than I am. Girls that are slimmer, more feminine, girls that are a part of his world. Girls who are artists and singers and dancers just like he is. And it's not like I can measure up to them. I'm just me.

I'm just-

Kkami's incessant barking snaps you out of your thoughts. He's licking your hands, bouncing off the floor and around your crouched figure like a fluffy little pogo stick rather than a dog.

You realise what he's barking at. The salty drop of a tear pools in a little circle on the cold, tiled floor. Your face is wet.

Sniffling, having not even realised you were crying, you wipe a hand over your face, scrubbing harshly, and exhale a shaky breath.

"I'm okay," you say softly to the anxious little animal. "I'm fine. I just- I miss him. I don't know what i did wrong."

Kkami gets up and runs off. You sigh and watch him skid around the corner before standing up. Even the dog doesn't want to be around you.

You stand, wash your hands, then dry them, feeling lost. Suddenly, every movement feels like a tremendous effort. Your body feels slow and you feel a little dizzy. Maybe you should've eaten earlier.

The lock on the door unclicks.

Hyunjin enters the apartment, kicking off his shoes and locking the door behind himself. His hair is getting longer by the day, and he runs a veiny, ringed hand through the black spikiness of it as he drops his bag by the wall. He looks up, surprised, and his eyes meet yours.

You're stuck in place, rooted in fear. You're not sure why.

"Baby?" He says, voice floating over your head. "Why are you here?"

Your heart thuds dully. The first thing he says after coming home late. Again. He doesn't ask about the tears or the crying or the turned-off light or why you're still awake, no, he asks why you're here. Like you're a stray staff member on set rather than his lover at home.

"I live here, Hyunjin," you say coldly. The blood turns to ice in your veins, expression blank and unsurprised. "You would know that if you were actually home more often."

He flinches at your tone. Like he has no idea why you're upset to begin with. Like he hasn't been the sole cause of your misery for the past month. Like none of it is his fault.

He doesn't say anything. His expression betrays his feelings.

"Hyunjin," you say, in disbelief. He's not even trying to defend himself. He's just... standing there. The way you say his name makes you sound like you're begging and you hate yourself for it.

"Y/n, I just..." He runs a hand through his hair again, stepping forward. "I'm sorry, okay? I've been so stressed lately, and the tour preparation has taken so much out of me. I didn't mean to neglect you-"

"So you knew," you snap at him, tears welling. "I didn't say what was wrong, I never told you, but you knew. You knew that I felt alone and unappreciated."

He throws his hands up, exasperated. "I can't be there at your every beck and call, Y/n! I have my own life too!"

"So do I," you shout, voice rising. "I moved in with you so I'd be able to support you better, even if it meant that I had to travel further for work, even if it meant that I would get home later! I have my own life just as much as you do, Hyunjin, and it seems like all of it's going to waste-"

"It isn't!" He protests. "I like having you here-"

"But you're never here!" You cry finally. "Do you even love me anymore? Or do you just want to avoid me like you've been doing for the past month?"

Hyunjin sighs, rubbing the bridge of his nose. Silence hangs over both of you like a heavy blanket, thick and suffocating. You can almost see the tension in the air, solid and unmoving.

He's a blurred shape in front of you, and you feel the hot streaking of tears down your face. You don't move, can't move.

"Y/n..."

You look up. Hyunjin looks defeated, tired, a quiet sort of finality settling behind his features. It makes him look so much older, that boyish charm and cheeky smile nowhere to be seen. And it breaks your heart more than he ever could. At least, you think so.

Your entire body feels rooted to the spot. Hyunjin steps behind the counter and sinks into a chair. The golden glow of the kitchen light above both of you does nothing to soften the moment.

"I really tried," he says quietly. Your heart thuds when he looks up at you, tears welling in his own eyes. "I tried to... Keep loving you."

Your mouth parts in distress, shocked. This isn't real. This isn't happening. "No."

His eyes are red-rimmed but his gaze is firm and set. "Why are you so afraid of the truth? Surely you understand that-"

"No!" You cry. You don't want to hear him say it, say that he doesn't love you anymore-

"I'm sorry," he says, a little louder. His voice cracks. "I just- I didn't know if I could make the time for you-"

"I did," you whisper fiercely. "I made time for you, for us, even when I had to sacrifice myself. Because I loved you more."

"You didn't have to do that-"

"I wanted to," you sob. "I made that choice, Hyunjin. Because I thought that if anyone could reciprocate the effort, if anyone could make me feel like the sacrifice was worth it, it was you."

"It's late," he whispers after a pause. "Please, come to bed with me. We can talk in the morning-"

"No."

Hyunjin goes silent. His eyes meet yours and there you stand, utterly defeated and exhausted, fed up, tired, and all the rest of it. But most of all, in disbelief. Because there's no way you thought this was going to happen. And the worst part is, you know exactly what you're supposed to do next. You knew this was coming, but now that it's here, you feel like throwing up.

He always said you were too independent for your own good.

"I thought I had everything figured out," you say weakly, a bitter smile curling the corners of your mouth. "And I did, but I see now that I'm the problem here. Not you."

A tear slips down Hyunjin's cheek. "That's not true."

"It is," you say, voice strong despite the salty tears streaking your face. "Because after a while, after all the lovebombing and the letters and gifts and dates and kisses, you stopped. Like you got bored of me, like I was just another one of your duties.

And you," you stab a finger at him, "You dragged it out instead of telling me, instead of wanting to fix us. You let me keep putting the effort in because you needed the love more than I did. You don't care about me, Hyunjin-"

"I do!" He cries. "I do care about you, Y/n, please, I love you. You mean so much to me, your effort makes such a difference, I'll do better, okay? I promise. Just please, please come to bed with me. It's late-"

"Oh, I know," you say venomously. "I know it's late, Hyunjin, because for the umpteenth time, your dinner got fed to Kkami instead of you. Because I'm such a fucking burden to you that you stay out late to avoid me."

You turn and grab your coat off the hook by the door. You cast him one last glance over your shoulder, bones made of concrete, limbs like unoiled joints. Tears soak your skin, irritated and sticky and puffy, but you slot your key in the door despite the watery blur in your vision. You squeeze your eyes shut at the sound of his voice. There's a thud and you know he's on his knees.

"Y/n," he cries, a choked sob leaving his throat, raw and strangled. "Please don't leave me. Please, okay? I'll do better."

You turn the key. "We're done, Hyunjin. I'll send someone to get my things."

You slam the door behind yourself, flying down the corridor, almost stumbling in the wake of your misery. Regret and guilt and determination flood your system so suddenly that you actually believe for a second that you might pass out.

But you don't. So you opt for the stairs instead of the lift, too afraid to stop moving, to stop and contemplate, then clatter down the levels, and disappear into the night, not knowing where you're going but knowing exactly what you've left behind.

Up in the apartment, Hyunjin screams.

a/n: oof . div by @kodaswrld

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moon-ttokki-x · 15 days ago

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waffles or pancakes (or neither, or both)

hmm . . . waffles bc they're lighter than pancakes but both taste good when you're hungry enough hehehe

#ttokki talks #moon ttokki x #🖤🐇⛓️#anon 🐇#🗨️🐇

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moon-ttokki-x · 17 days ago

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Helloo

I'm here to ask something like a little too sad? I really like those scenarios. Like members reaction to 9th member's attempt to suicide? But like one of them(Minho or Jeongin) accidentally come to bathroom and see her? It's a little sad but I like those ones. Maybe even add a relationship between her and Chan?

hi~ i love sad requests . . . the sad ones are some of my favourites too, and hopefully this will help someone feel better <3

butterfly - (ot8!skz x 9th member fem!reader)

pairing: ot8!skz (mainly lee know) x 9th member fem!reader

summary: butterflies; the symbols of hope, growth, and recovery.

genre: idol! au, 9th member!au, fem!reader, su*cide attempt, graphic descriptions of self-h@rm, mentions of blood, cvtting, bandages, depression, alienation, mentions of blades, razors, sharp items, mentions of eating and drinking, mentions of fainting, passing out, blood loss, lee know referred to as 'minho' in this fic, bf!chan, please proceed with caution, and remember that you're not alone <3

a/n: this hit a little close to my heart, so i'm hoping this might help some of you who are struggling . in no way am i romanticising any of the heavy and triggering topics in this fic, so please skip if you are uncomfortable . my dms are always open if you'd like to talk . be safe, my loves <3

skz masterlist

The world is grey.

Greyer than you remembered; you thought you'd been getting better. You thought you'd learnt to feel the sunshine warming your skin again, remembered the way you found your mouth curving into a smile randomly. Embraced that familiar feeling of a happy buoyant bubble in your stomach.

Apparently not.

You're not sure how you feel right now. Distracted, angry, dull? Nothing seems to light you up, not even the deepest rage or the best news. Everything simply hit your crumbling shield and absorbed. Like pouring water on a sheet.

The patch simply darkened and sunk, drying but becoming more saturated with sadness every single time. And it felt heavy, heavier than you ever thought it would feel.

You can't taste the food on your plate; the noise of the members laughing and bickering around you seems to fade into the background, the soundwaves passing through as if you were simply a ghost.

A numb ghost sitting at the dinner table with a fork in one heavy hand, rather than a valued member of Stray Kids having dinner with the rest of her group. The atmosphere of the familiar dorm is foreign, unusual.

Like a hotel room rather than your home.

You scrunch your hands and rub your fingertips over your thighs, feeling the raised tissue of old scars bump in smooth, small dunes under the pads of your fingers. You feel the denim of your jeans rustle with the movement, the fabric rough and once-comforting. Now it just feels itchy.

Jisung shouts right in your ear then as he argues with Changbin across the table, and you don't even flinch. It simply passes over your head. Even if you wanted to, you can't find it in yourself to be annoyed at him. At least he's happy.

Is this normal? Am I overreacting?

Surely it can't be fake if you feel like this. But-

Your eyes lift themselves slowly and land on Chan. Previously, you couldn't look at him without a blush tinging your cheeks and the familiar view of a red rose in your mind's eye. The memory of his confession was always one that made you giggle, sometimes at inappropriate times.

Like when JYP fell over on stage and you were laughing because you remembered Chan doing the same thing, falling, and the image of his lovely face accompanied by his cheesy pick-up lines and warm hands came to mind.

But you don't feel like smiling now. Not like you did then.

You're both in the settling-in stage of your relationship; as always Chan has proven to be the best partner anyone could ever ask for. He's never let you down, carried you through the tough times, held your hand and wiped your tears. He knows how you've been feeling, but after a while, out of worry, you began to keep it secret.

And you felt bad. You did. Really.

Because he deserves to know. Deserves to know so that he can help you, kiss it better like he always has. Because that's just how he is, and how he's always been.

But he also deserves to be kept in the dark. Deserves to be able to continue with his life, be a leader and a producer and everything else without worrying that one day your feelings will take over and you'll disappear.

Because right now, that seems like the best option. Surely things will be easier for him, for all of them, if you took yourself out of the equation.

What would it feel like, you think. To drown, to accidentally slip and fall, to walk into the road without looking, to feel the chair leave the soles of your feet, to cut too deep on accident, it would all be an accident, Chan, it was an accident, I'm okay, I promise you'll be okay, everything is okay, I promise-

The fork clatters out of your hand. Nobody notices, the din of the members covering it up. Chan is almost on his feet opposite you, giggling and laughing and trying and failing to quiet the group. He doesn't notice when you begin to stand, then hesitantly sit back down.

None of them do.

It's not a secret that sometimes you need to be alone; the guys understand that you need time to yourself every now and then, when your head gets too loud or the members yell too much. All you have to do is stand up and leave, and go and lie down, tell them that's what you need right now.

Of course, that isn't always the case. Sometimes you just want to be alone, and not because they're being too loud or rowdy. You want to be alone because being around these happy people puts you in a state of disconnect so brutal and numbing that you can't stand to look any of them in the eye.

That's not what's happening right now. A mad impulse rises, a dangerous little thought pops into your head, and begins to simmer in a rather sinister manner in the back of your mind.

You swallow thickly. Your throat is dry. The now-flat soda you were previously sipping did nothing to quell the dryness. Your windpipe feels scratchy and your stomach bubbles in apprehensiveness, but you ignore it and steel yourself.

You turn your head to the left, feeling your neck creak; you've been still for so long- and look at Minho. He's grinning past you, watching as Changbin almost flies at Jisung over the table, clearly unaware of the hollowness rooted in your stomach, no, your whole being.

In every fibre of you-

"Minho," you say, hardly a whisper. His gaze meets yours, and even though he's still smiling and his gaze is not intense, joy dimmed faintly as he takes in your ghostly pallor- you still feel yourself shrink under it. Like an underwatered flower in the hot, baking sun.

"Yes?" He says. You feel Chan turn his head slightly in your direction, and your heart lurches unpleasantly. He's listening in, clearly in concern, but it makes you irritated. Unreasonably so.

"I'm gonna go lie down," you say, not acknowledging Chan as he fully turns to face both you and Minho, the chaos in the background forgotten.

Minho's eyes meet Chan, and his eyes gaze back, asking a silent question.

Is she okay?

Minho nods faintly and smiles at you, placing a warm hand over yours. You fight the urge to wince at the contact; it feels wrong, and all you want to do is shake it off. You exhale slightly as he removes his hand.

"Sure," Minho says gently. "Go ahead. I know we're being noisy."

You nod and force a weak smile before pushing your chair back. No one looks at you, save Chan stealing a glance as you stand up, but it feels like getting up in front of a crowd. You almost throw up over the table.

Excusing yourself from the group, you turn and leave the room. You trail a hand along the wall of the corridor, your knees strangely aching as you take the stairs upwards. Guilt and a mad sort of happiness take over your being and you move faster, almost driven by the manic feeling. Your body feels foreign and alien, possessed almost.

Entering your room, you shut the door as carefully as you can, and swear. No lock. You forgot about that.

Well, there's the bathroom... But it's bright in there, and you won't be able to see what you're doing in the dark either.

You gaze thoughtfully around the room, your brain going faster than it has in weeks. Your LED lights are on; the ones Hyunjin gifted you for your birthday are set to a gentle purple glow, casting soft violet hues over the bed and shelves. His smiling face appears in your mind and you push it away before you can get distracted.

The bedroom will do.

You avoid looking in the mirror as you pass it by, opening the door to the bathroom and rummaging in the drawers, not bothering to turn the light on. You know this routine well enough.

You pull out a pack of tissues, crumpling it in your hand, and reach under the top of the drawer above it. You move your fingers side to side until they catch on a piece of metal, hidden under a strip of tape, and pull it out. The tape dangles and you carelessly push the drawer shut.

Reentering the bedroom, you sit down at the foot of the bed. Shimmying off your jeans, and then taking off your shirt too, you set them aside to avoid any stains. Not that it matters anymore. They'll find you here with the razor blade still in your hand. You tug at the strap of your bra, trying to relieve the sudden tension stuck between them.

You're really doing this.

Because it doesn't matter, right?

Right?

No, you shake your head firmly, tears building in your eyes, stubborn and despondent. This is for the best.

Your eyes scan your thighs. Looking for the unscarred skin, the parts of you that are still smooth, still clean, not too-far-gone, not rough around the edges, not crumbling, not breaking, not you-

It stings a little the first time. Your breathing becomes shallow as you watch the skin. Nothing wells up, and you can't see the first slicing impact of it, the lighting too low to be able to see anything much. Nothing happens, so you do it again.

And again. And again.

The mad impulse takes over.

You draw your hand in messy, deep, harsh lines across your thighs, quick and brutal, and when you look down, your fingertips are stained in blood. So is the blade, and both thighs are a mess. It aches, but it feels so, so good.

Like greeting an old friend, like embracing someone you thought you'd seen left behind. It burns and the wetness of tacky blood sliding down your legs feels... nice, almost. Familiar, definitely.

Your breathing becomes even more shallow, coming in quick, short gasps, your eyes scanning the skin, moving to your arms, drawing long, deep slashes, welling with blood, spilling like the tears in your eyes, tacky and slippery and iron-smelling, black under the light.

The air smells like blood. It's cloying and you breathe yourself in, gruesome in the best way.

Your hands are sticky and drying with the faint sheen and splotches of scarlet, and when your eyes meet your wrist, you pause.

Just for a second.

And then you raise your hand, the blade sticky and red, smeared and slippery between your shaking fingers. A salute, the colour of finality staining your fingertips, wet, raw, real.

You smile as the tears slip down, soaking your cheeks. Squeezing your eyes shut, taking a last breath, and bring your hand down.

Down...

You feel the deep bite of the blade, hear the slight scrape of it, push it deeper, and rip sideways. As hard as you can.

Gritting your teeth, your eyes squeeze even tighter closed and you lift your hand and rip into the soft skin again and again, determined to draw every drop of blackened scarlet out of you, stain your body, stain the floor.

Then a rustle, a flash of light, a tackle to your curled figure.

You smell faded cologne and the world tips sharply sideways. The blade goes flying and your head hits the wall, dull, not enough to knock you out but enough to stun you.

You blink as a warm weight settles over you, emerging from a dazed stupor, frantic and shaking and gasping, and your eyes meet Minho's, welling with violet tears under the artificial light.

"No," he gasps, crying. A sob rips from his throat. "No, Y/n, why- Y/n, oh, fuck-"

You don't say anything, heart pounding, watching as Minho lifts a hand, stained in scarlet, shaking, distressed, cradling your arm. You think you're wearing a sleeve over your arm before you realise the sleeve is wet, and it's not a sleeve of fabric at all, rather a stream of wet, tacky blood.

Dark and deep. White peeks at the edges of the cut, stinging under the coolness of the movement of air around you.

You don't move, but Minho does. He pulls you upright, into his chest, gasping and gulping for air like he's the one bleeding out.

His scream for Chan chills your heart, chills you to the bone.

"Chan-hyung," he shouts, voice breaking, almost a scream. He screams it over and over again. He sounds like a child more than anything else.

You can't see anything, face buried in Minho's shirt, but you feel the back of your head being cradled, eyes drooping, and Minho's tears begin to drip onto your face as he leans over you, holding you like a precious item, fragile, breakable. He looks terrified, but you feel calm, strangely so.

He's shaking, and the sound of thumping footsteps and shouts of concern, not just one set of them, but multiple, thunder towards you, assaulting your ears like a shower of dull bullets.

Light floods the room, blank and yellow and foreign from a lamp in the corner, and Chan's hands are on you, and when you look across, Jeongin is on his knees at the doorway, wailing, Hyunjin and Seungmin at his sides, the rest of the members a horrified, terrified cluster of bodies behind them. You hear a thud and see Felix fall, then more shouting, someone rushing into the bathroom, noise and crying and gasps and-

"Y/n," Chan gasps, phone to his ear, shaking, tears slipping down his cheeks. You can't feel his warmth, or maybe his hands have gone cold. "Y/n, you'll be okay. Stay with us. You're gonna be fine, baby, I promise..."

You let yourself relax in Minho's shaking arms, stare up at the ceiling. His sobs sound nothing like him. Having never heard him cry, it's strange to finally hear his misery. It sounds soft, breakable, almost unreal. It makes you smile.

The world screens out to black.

Minho's prominent sobs fade into the background.

It still hurts. Sometimes.

But only sometimes. Like a bruise that you forget you have, it only stings when you push too hard, knock it against something.

The wound is healing. So are your thighs.

But it still hurts. Just like the memory.

You'd woken in a dazed stupor in the hospital, doctors and nurses and the members and the staffs' faces all blurring together in white flashes, smelling faintly of iron and disinfectant.

Two weeks later, you were back home. The cut wasn't actually that bad. Just bled a lot, made a mess. But not enough to...

Anyway.

The memory, the stinging pain of the event floats faintly around your head like a cloud, filled with rain but unsure whether to pour it all out. You still feel dazed, numb, but not as much as before. Guilty, definitely, but never more loved.

You wonder what would have happened if you'd actually followed through with it. Because deep down, you know that you didn't really want to die. Leave everyone behind, escape entirely, hand your pain over with shaking hands to those you knew. But part of you is still reeling, shaking, frantic inside, when you remember how you felt.

Upstairs, alone, numb.

While your members, unknowingly laughed and bickered on the level below. You wonder what went through their heads when they heard Minho's screaming, saw you almost lifeless, a half-dead, scarlet mess in his arms, saw Chan's shaking hands and the dull light of his phone as he called the ambulance. Felix fainting, the thud of his knees hitting the cold hardwood. Jeongin's devastated wailing.

You hear the sounds of it all, expressionless, barely-alive, but so, so real.

The thin tip of a pen slowly pulls you back to the surface. Makes your skin tingle on the inside of your arm, the sensitive skin around your wrist that you somehow managed to avoid in your distress. That vital vein.

You look down.

Minho's hair brushes against your cheek as you peek at your arm; you can feel the soft tip of the black pen in his hand poking lightly at the skin.

"What are you drawing?" You say softly.

He doesn't reply, too focused on the black lines flowing out of the pen. They're a little shaky, and he's careful not to touch the bandage wrapping your wrist, but you can tell he's clearly invested in leaving the drawings over your arm. You can't see what it is yet.

Chan comes over then, sitting down quietly on the couch next to you. He sets a cup of tea on the table, and you feel the familiar, warm weight of his head on your shoulder, nestling in the crook of your neck. You both watch a tendril of steam rise from the cup, curling and fading into the air in soft, white wisps. The scent of heated chamomile fills the room, and you smile as Chan inhales deeply.

His hand finds yours, resting on your knee, warm and dry and calloused. You feel the steady, solid weight of it over your own, his fingertips brushing your knuckles as he glances at your left forearm.

"Whatcha doing, Min?" He murmurs.

Minho responds with a hum, a little squeak that makes you smile. He sounds like one of his cats. He pulls back, capping the black pen with a smile of satisfaction.

"Do you like it?" He says, clearly proud of himself. Chan chuckles, leaning in to get a closer look at his drawing.

You smile back. It's small, but it's real, genuine. So is the slightly-smudged butterfly on the soft skin of your inner forearm.

"Yes," you say, touching it gently. "I do."

a/n: okay well now i'm sad . div by @webc00re

send a dm, comment below, or put in a request to be added !!

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moon-ttokki-x · 23 days ago

Note

Hii!! I absolutely adore your work, especially your 9th member stuff!

I was wondering if there was anyway to write an imagine where the reader is the second oldest hyung (younger than Chan but older than Minho) and acts like a mother figure occasionally. And her and Chan are super close (possibly secretly dating?) and the other members start to catch on during little moments during interviews and stuff like that.

Or even just short blurts/headcannons of something like “Chan and y/n being in love for 5 minutes straight.”

I totally get that this is a lot to ask, so if you want to tweak it that is completely up to you! You don’t even have to do this if you don’t want to. xx 🩵

hi thank you sm <3 this is cute. i liked the idea of doing a short headcanon sort of thing, so here . . .

"hyung, are you in love with y/n?"

pairing: bang chan x fem 9th member!reader

summary: chan can't hide how smitten he is, and skz begins to catch on . . .

genre: idol!au, 9th member!au, fem!reader i think, just pure fluff, maybe a little suggestive idk?? there's literally nothing else to write tbh this is just super short and sweet (like chan) who said that omg it wasn't me . . .

a/n: yep

skz masterlist

Smitten!Chan who can't help but stare at you during interviews; his gaze always drifts to you even when you're not the one talking. He tries so hard to pay attention, he really does, but he just can't help it; you look so pretty, with your makeup done and your hair styled so perfectly.

Smitten!Chan who can't stop a little smile from curling the corners of his mouth when you smile just at him; he covers it up with a hand, seemingly brushing something off his lip, but he knows it won't fool anyone. He's all lingering touches, on your lower back, your cheek, your hair when he pats it, your arms when he adjusts your position in the choreo.

Smitten!Chan whose hand stays just a little too long to be innocent or friendly. Has a little chain bracelet with your initial on it tucked down his forearm, unseen and covered by his long sleeves. Never takes it off, and you wear yours around your ankle, the tiny 'CB' almost invisible. You know, unless someone looks a little too close...

Smitten!Chan who steals kisses in the dressing room, fighting not to kiss you too hard, otherwise he'll ruin your perfect makeup. You have to push him off once you hear the members coming down the hallway, but it's a struggle when he wants to keep you in his arms. His hand brushes yours as you both walk down to the backstage area. He can't help but steal glances at you when he's motivating the members with his usual hype speech.

Smitten!Chan who has to fight the urge to kiss you in front of Stay. He wants the whole world to know so badly; but he knows you wouldn't be comfortable with that right now, so he holds back. Expect to be called to his room for a quick 'discussion'. Long story short, Jeongin walked in at the wrong time and saw you both in each other's arms, faces close to each other. Talk about traumatising.

Smitten!Chan who frantically waves his hands, shushing him, and quickly runs to clamp a hand over his mouth. You can't fight the giggles when Chan sits him down on the bed, trying to get him to keep quiet. Jeongin's accusatory glance is enough to make you let out a giggle, and enough for Chan to exasperatedly glance at you out of the corner of his eye.

Smitten!Chan who gives up and lets Jeongin-whisper rant at both of you, making frantic hand-gestures, trying to madly piece together how you both ended up as a couple. It doesn't take him long, but by then you're on the floor, wheezing. A slight smile escapes Chan's mouth and he raises his hands in defeat. He lifts a pinky to make Jeongin promise not to tell the other members, a stern look on his face, though you can tell part of him has given up on keeping you both secret.

Smitten!Chan who gasps and almost jumps out of his skin when the door flies open, the lock giving way, and the members tumble into the room in a heap. Minho stands behind them all with his phone filming, and there's a smirk on his face that clearly communicates 'this was my idea'. Chan slaps a palm over his forehead before the both of you are tackled to the floor by the maknaes.

Smitten!Chan who watches Minho's video later with a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, cheeks tinging pink at the way you look, giggling and flushed and pretty. He has to turn the video off before tangling himself in the sheets, a grin spreading his face, the rustling of the bed and several excited squeaks the only sounds as a result of his cuteness-aggression.

Smitten!Chan who finally falls asleep with the video still playing, drifting off into sleep with the faint knowledge that he'll have to confront his members tomorrow. No doubt they'll be as loud and excitable as they were tonight, but at least it'll be easier with you by his side. The faint volume of the video's audio plays in the background, and Felix's excitable, disbelieving voice plays in a faint, muted loop in the stillness of the night.

"Hyung, are you in love with Y/n?"

a/n: chan and the colour red just go so well together 🔥

send a dm, comment under the taglist post, or send an ask to be added !

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moon-ttokki-x · 1 month ago

Text

choose your own adventure - hyunjin ver.

pairing: hyunjin x 9th member fem!reader

summary: a choose-your-own-story where hyunjin asks you to be his plus one. based off this chan post.

genre: idol!au, fem!reader, 9th member!au, mentions of eating and drinking, this fic (if you can even call it that) is just super fluffy and playful. nothing much really but if i have missed anything comment and let me know !

a/n: we're switching it up and trying something new . . .

how it works: read until you get to a choice. pick one image, and then go to the number and description below it, and read that part. scroll down to the heart, where it says 'your turn' and keep reading until the next choice. i hope it's not too confusing but it seems pretty self-explanatory i think. hope you guys have fun with this one, if you enjoyed it comment below ! might make some other versions soon <3 this is a fic where you can go back and choose different choices to make the story just how you like it .

happy reading from ttokki !!

skz masterlist

A quiet sigh escapes your lips as you headed out of your vocal lesson. Shutting the door behind yourself, you began to head down the hallway, pressing a hand to your throat.

That vocal practice felt like it took ages, and your instructor hadn't been in the best mood this morning.

Oh well, you think. At least it's over.

Tipping your waterbottle up to quench your thirst and soothe your throat, you groan as nothing comes out. Sighing and tossing the plastic bottle into a bin, you turn down the hallway, intending to go to the cafe and buy a drink.

Staff members, trainees, and other artists take up seats in the JYPE cafe, laughing, chatting, having meetings, and walking around. You walk up to the counter, waiting in line, and then order a cold drink.

Taking your receipt, you turn and look around, trying to spot a place to sit. Someone taps your shoulder.

You turn around.

"Hey, Hyune," you say. "Thought you had a shoot."

He scratches the back of his head meekly. "I did, but I got out of it. Apparently something went wrong with their cameras."

You poke him playfully in the side as you both move to claim a table.

"Broke them with your beauty, huh?" You tease, sitting down.

Hyunjin flops down in the chair opposite you, grinning as he taps the edge of the table with two fingers. "Something like that."

You smile and thank the server as she comes and places your drink down in front of you. She nods back with a smile and walks away. You waste no time in taking huge, icy gulps of your drink, gasping in relief as the cool, flavoured liquid floods your body.

Hyunjin watches you intently. His eyes flicker to the ice in your drink, big, solid cubes clinking together as you stir the liquid around with your straw.

"Hey," he says hesitantly. You look up.

"Yeah?"

"Um, I had something I wanted to tell you."

You tilt your head and stir your drink the opposite way, taking another gulp. "Shoot."

"So, you know the Versace event I was talking about yesterday at dance practice?" Hyunjin says, sitting up a little straighter.

"Mhm," you say, fiddling with your straw in interest. "What about it? You got invited, right?"

"Yeah," he says. "And it's tonight, and I only just got informed I needed a plus-one to the event."

"Oh," you say.

Choice 1: How does Hyunjin ask you to be his plus-one to the event? Select one.

If you chose...

(1) Iced coffee:

Hyunjin sits up suddenly then, laughing nervously. His fingers tap faster on the table.

"So, um... Kind of a long shot, but I was hoping you'd, um, sort of- Come with me?" He waves his hands frantically. "It's- Um, I know it's super last-minute and you might have something else to do, but I really wanted you to accompany me there... If you want to, of course."

"There's no pressure." He adds, rubbing the back of his neck.

(2) Fizzy blue soda:

Hyunjin sits up, pulling something out from his pocket. He slides an ivory letter across the table, delicate paper sealed with a little flower stamp. He nods for you to open it, so you do. You read the paper inside:

"Y/n,

This Versace event is a place where everything will glow, and I find myself longing to share the evening with someone who will shine the same way.

If you'd be willing, I would love to take you along as my plus-one, my esteemed guest. Only if you wish to, however.

RSVP with a single, affirmative word.

H.H"

(3) Strawberry ice:

"Yeah, um..." He stretches a hand across the table and presses it over yours briefly.

"It's a pretty formal thing," he says. "But I was really hoping you'd team up with me for the night? It's kind of a drag without someone to make things fun..."

He chuckles then, pink dusting his cheeks in a soft blush. "I think it would be more fun if you were there with me. But if you don't want to, then it's okay. I know it's on, like, super short notice, so I understand."

♡

Your turn...

"I would love to, Hyune," you say softly. "I didn't actually have anything planned for tonight. I think it'll be interesting. But I'll have to get my stylist on it as soon as possible."

"Yeah, no, of course," Hyunjin says, looking relieved. "That'd be great. I'll meet you outside the building at six tonight. The car will be waiting to take us to the event."

"Sure," you say, standing up. "I'll be there on time. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go find something to wear." You tap his nose playfully and begin to walk away.

You head down the corridors and hallways, taking turns until you reach the female artists' fitting rooms.

Your stylist opens the door as soon as you knock on the wood. She ushers you inside and you laugh, watching as she begins to pull out several dresses for you to wear. She holds each one up for you to see.

Choice 2: What dress are you choosing? Select one.

If you chose...

(1) White dress:

"I want to wear that one, please," you say to your stylist, pointing to a ruffled white dress. She nods and sets it down across the table.

"I'll get it sorted out for you, never fear," your stylist says, smiling. "It's a great choice, Y/n. It'll make you look absolutely stunning, and the colour is so simple and clean too. You'll look great."

(2) Cream dress:

"That one's pretty," you say. Your stylist picks up the soft, creamy dress and hangs it up on a hook so you can see all of it properly.

"Great choice," your stylist says. "The layers will look so pretty as you move about, like a bird. Soft but effortless, and it's light too, so you won't have much trouble walking around in it. Perfect pick, Y/n."

(3) Pink dress:

"What about this one?" You say, pointing to a puffy, pink dress.

"Lovely," your stylist says, brushing a hand across it as she lays it out for you to see. "The pink is a little extravagant, but it's perfect for you, and it reminds me of sakura flowers. Puffy is the best way to go, I think. Nice work, Y/n."

♡

Your turn...

"Thanks," you say, blushing at the praise.

"I want to look really good tonight," you add. "Hyunjin will look effortless as per usual, so I want to look just as beautiful. Thank you for sorting the dress out for me."

"No worries," your stylist says, hanging up your chosen dress on the wall. "You need some accessories, though... Can't have you wearing such a pretty gown with no jewelry."

She leads you to a jewelry display cabinet and unlocks it so you can take out different pieces and look at them.

"Take your pick," she says.

Choice 3: What jewelry set are you picking? Select one.

If you chose...

(1): Silver leafy branch set:

The silver branches catch your eye, and you hold up one of the earrings. "This set is beautiful."

"That one's pretty popular," your stylist says. "I can see why. It'd suit your outfit perfectly." She places it on top of the jewelry cabinet.

"I'll make sure it's specially reserved for you tonight."

(2): Diamond teardrop set:

You hold up the diamond necklace, watching it glitter in the light. "I like this one a lot."

Your stylist carefully takes the jewelry before holding it up to the dress. "It's lovely, and a perfect match to the gown." She sets it down carefully on the table.

"I'll get it deep cleaned for you so it sparkles."

(3): Gold flower set:

"Wow, I want to wear this one," you say, holding the necklace up.

"Lovely, isn't it?" Your stylist says. "The flowers will match your dress amazingly." She nods approvingly at your select choice.

"I'll have someone check over the clasps so nothing breaks or catches while you're at the event."

♡

Your turn...

After carefully selecting your jewelry and dress, your stylist sits you down in a chair and does your makeup just how you like it; not too much, but not too little either. Just enough to make you shine.

She adds eyeshadow the colour of your dress and puts a little glitter on your cheeks, complimenting you at every turn.

You thank her and stay as still as you can while she does your hair, trying not to scrunch your eyes and ruin the perfect makeup while she sprays hairspray over your hairstyle to set it in place. You admire it in the mirror, thanking her profusely.

You accept her help as you change into the dress, and clasp the necklace and earrings onto yourself. Turning side to side, you admire the look and smile at your stylist's dramatic praise.

You say a grateful thankyou and goodbye to her as two staff members guide you to the car waiting outside the JYPE building.

Evening is beginning to fall, the sky peachy and pink. You spot Hyunjin, leaning on the car's frame while the driver starts the engine inside.

Choice 4: What is Hyunjin wearing? Select one.

If you chose...

(1) Charcoal grey suit:

Hyunjin lightly brushes off the shoulder of his grey suit jacket, adjusting the lapel as he holds a hand out to you. The light grey and patterned collared shirt is speckled with flowers and pretty designs. Your eyes wander over it as he smiles down at you.

"You look beautiful," he says sincerely. "Hope I didn't overdress."

"You could never," you say softly. "I think you look great."

Hyunjin smiles again, his eyes crinkling, and stands up fully, leaning off the car. The silver chain at his waists sways gently with the movement.

"Come on," he says, opening the door of the sleek black car for you. "Let's head off."

(2) Soft white suit:

Hyunjin looks like he's glowing in the setting light of the sun. It throws a little pink tone over his jacket, spotless and pristine, and he waves at you as you approach. His dark dress pants highlight his long legs.

"I love your dress," he says shyly, chuckling. "I feel a bit boring now. Are you trying to outdo me, Y/n?"

"I already did," you say jokingly, your eyes softening. "You look lovely, Hyune. We match, too."

He chuckles, taking your hand. "We do match. I asked your stylist what colour you'd be wearing."

He opens the car door and gently guides you in.

"We better get going."

(3) Black + silver suit:

"Look at you," Hyunjin says, impressed. "Pulled out all the stops, huh?"

You laugh as he takes your hand gently. The silver design on his shoulder stands out against the black, as do the buckles on the belts around his waist. They glint in the softening light of the sun.

"I did, but it looks like you did too," you say in response. "I like the silver thing."

"I know," he says dryly. "I do too. That's why I wore it."

You fight a giggle and swat his shoulder. He sways dramatically before opening the car door and placing a hand on the frame so you don't hit your head.

"Time to go," he says.

♡

Your turn...

The car journey isn't that long; by the time the sun fully sets, and the sky has turned a deep shade of blue, the sleek black car is pulling up the entrance of the event. You peer out the window and wait for Hyunjin to exit the car first.

He holds out a hand to you and you take it gratefully, stepping out. Your foot hits the ground and you brush yourself down, hoping you haven't creased the beautiful dress.

You and Hyunjin look around as you begin to head into the event and past the security guards. They just nod and let you through, Hyunjin's face a familiar one at these types of fashion events.

Choice 5: Where is the Versace event being held? Select one.

If you chose...

(1) Outdoor soft-lit terrace

You and Hyunjin begin to make your way through, winding between tables and people. You tread over soft, green grass, and gaze up at the lanterns above you. They hang suspended by wire, almost looking as if they're magically floating on their own.

The tables are set for dinner, and everything is cast in a soft, romantic glow. People nod at Hyunjin as he walks by, and he offers you his arm as he begins to mingle. You take it and relish the soft comfort of his presence as he introduces you here and there to people.

Some are artists from other groups you recognise, some fashion designers, but all are distinguished members of society. You begin to feel a little nervous, but Hyunjin rubs his hand over yours as he blends in effortlessly.

After you both find your places and eat dinner, everyone moves to socialise and talk about the latest events. You stay quiet for a while and let Hyunjin do his thing.

Eventually, you begin to feel confident enough to talk and approach people on your own, Hyunjin always a step behind you. He claps his hands together quietly when an interaction goes particularly well.

Hyunjin's gaze flickers to you every now and then.

(2) Modeling show venue

You and Hyunjin both make your way to the front of the room, where the stage is. The lights begin to flash just as you both take your seats, and the host comes out to announce the event, its history, and the progress they've made with designing new items.

Everyone claps, and you and Hyunjin both watch in interest as the models begin to walk out, decked out in strange luxurious outfits. Music blares and the lights dramatically grow brighter.

The show goes by in sections; people chatter and socialise between runway displays. The designer next to you recognises you next to Hyunjin and strikes up a conversation with you.

You're a little awkward at first, still feeling a little shy and overwhelmed, but you look at Hyunjin for reassurance and he nods, chiming in occasionally to keep the conversation going.

Hyunjin's hand finds yours under the table.

(3) Gilded art museum

You and Hyunjin walk around the museum, where displays of fashion items are placed in glass cases. There's a staff member or a designer standing nearby.

Whoever approaches asks about the item, and you begin to really become invested in the history of the fashion, why certain shapes and fabrics are used, and all the rest of it. You never knew the depth of it before.

Everything is lit in a rich golden glow, and Hyunjin's teeth shine charmingly under the light as he effortlessly networks. He talks to all the right people, says all the right things, and keeps a hand on your lower back like the gentleman he is.

You try your best to talk a bit too, but you eventually become content with watching him do his thing. It's comforting to see him so in his element, and you start to feel more and more comfortable as the night progresses.

Hyunjin looks down at you and smiles gently.

♡

Your turn...

After several hours, you and Hyunjin retire to a corner, sipping lightly on drinks and observing. You needed a little bit of a break, anyway; it's surprising how quickly you got fatigued and overwhelmed. Your cheeks hurt, too. You've never had to smile so much in your life, but all in all, things have gone quite well.

You feel very proud of yourself for not messing things up.

You're busy watching several extravagantly-dressed figureheads talking in a circle when Hyunjin speaks up.

"What do you think?" He says. He smirks then, gesturing to the people you're observing in interest. "Of their outfits. But also of the night."

You chuckle. "I think it's very intriguing. This event has been very intriguing. It's a new experience, but I liked it."

His gaze softens. "I'm glad. Are you okay, though?" He gestures vaguely, the liquid in his glass swirling. "I know it can be a bit- overwhelming."

You swallow and nod a little. "I'm okay, it's just- It can be a lot. I think I've talked more in the past hour than I have all of this week."

Hyunjin laughs, a high, charming sound amongst the elegant din. Your heart almost explodes.

"Yeah, it can be a lot. But it's nice having you by my side." His face flushes slightly. "It feels... different. Better."

You smile a tiny bit. "I'm glad."

His tone drops then after a pause, low and confidential. "You know, I was kinda worried about asking you. It's a big event, and I didn't know if you'd be okay with putting yourself on the spot."

He adjusts the lapel of his jacket, cheeks pink. "I, um- I felt a lot calmer after you said yes." He chuckles quietly, a little sadly. "I guess I needed my lucky charm..."

"A lucky charm, hmm?" You start to feel a little shy, but you meet his dark, deep gaze. "And here I was, thinking I was your emergency plus-one."

"Nah," Hyunjin says, nodding in thanks as a waiter takes his empty glass. "I felt like, you know... Sharing this with you. Having you with me makes the overwhelming things feel a little bit more..." He pauses, searching for the right word. "...Right. It sounds lame, I know, but..." He trails off, a little embarrassed.

You smile and boldly touch his hand. His skin is warm and you pull back, not wanting any cameras to catch anything unwanted. His gaze is understanding as you press your hands into your sides.

"I appreciate that, Hyune," you say as sincerely as you can. "I don't think it's lame at all. I'm honoured you chose me."

His words hang in the air for a few moments, yours mixing with its undercurrent. You both go silent until Hyunjin's phone vibrates, a message from the manager.

"Time to go," he says, offering you his arm. "The car's waiting."

You nod and both of you begin to walk back through the venue, nodding goodbyes and waving to the people you talked to.

Hyunjin helps you back into the car and shuts the door. Both of you collapse and groan in your seats, then dissolving into giggles. The car pulls away and begins to drive, the partition up to give both of you some space and a break.

You close your eyes for a few minutes, processing everything in relief. You both looked great. You networked, did all the right things. And now you can relax. You can't wait to go home.

"Hey," Hyunjin says quietly.

You open your eyes to look at him.

Choice 6: What does Hyunjin say next? Select one.

If you chose...

(1) Aura flower:

"You looked like an absolute masterpiece," he says softly.

Your cheeks heat up and you look at your hands in your lap, fighting the urge to smile as wide as your cheeks will allow.

"Thanks," you whisper, somehow able to form a coherent sentence despite the buzzing feeling in your chest. "I think you looked amazing too."

He exhales a little laugh through his nose and leans his head against the seat. His makeup is a little smudged but you almost think it looks better that way. "Thanks, Y/n."

"We made it through," you say after a brief pause, relieved.

He laughs out loud then, a little chuckle that sends a pang of affection straight to your soul. "We did, yeah."

He turns to look at you, his tired eyes fixed on your own.

"You looked stunning, Y/n. As always."

(2) Aura star:

"You shone brighter than anyone else there, you know," he whispers.

You chuckle shyly and lean your head against the seat, messing up your hair a little. You pull a little strand of it, hands shaking. "No..."

"You did," he insists. "They loved you. All of them. I think they were wondering why they hadn't seen you before. And I just know all of them thought you looked amazing."

"Hyune, stop."

"No," he says insistently, tilting his head at you as you laugh a little. "You did exactly what you were supposed to. It was effortless. Gonna have to tell JYP to make you go to events more often."

He stretches a little, his shoulder popping.

"You were amazing, Y/n."

(3) Aura heart:

"You were my favourite view tonight," he admits shyly.

You don't even say anything in response, too taken aback by his honest statement. You feel your face heat up and you smile shyly, fidgeting with the fabric of your dress.

Too flustered to do anything else, you shake your head.

"You were," he insists gently. "I couldn't stop looking at you, even when I was the one talking. You were talking and mingling so well, holding your head so high... You almost made me jealous."

You let out a short, disbelieving laugh, though it's laced with sincerity. "Almost?"

"Yeah," he says casually, crossing his hands behind your head. "Almost. But seriously, you did so, so well. Just perfect, you know that?"

He nudges you gently. "I couldn't take my eyes off you."

♡

Your turn...

After a while, some sleepy exchanged chatter in the backseat, and a couple of selcas later, the car pulls up at the JYPE building. Hyunjin gets out first and offers you his hand. You both thank the driver.

Night has well and truly fallen, and it's quite late.

Taking Hyunjin's hand and almost stumbling in your sleepiness, you pat down your dress and check off things in your head, just to make sure you haven't forgotten anything.

Hyunjin is busy messaging his manager on his phone, reporting that you both got back safely and that the event went well. The streets are quiet, and it feels like you're the only ones in the whole of Seoul.

Turning around, you're about to tell Hyunjin this, before you stop short.

He's holding something in his hand, outstretched to you. He budges your shoulder a little with it, shyly gesturing for you to take it.

So you do.

Choice 7: What did Hyunjin give you? Select one.

If you chose...

(1) Rich burgundy dye:

You take the item from him.

It's a small, velvet box; much like the ones that people have their rings when the propose.

Opening the ring box, you're met with a dainty loop of silvery gold, a shimmering stone of your favourite colour set into the middle. Two little jeweled wings sit either side of the stone, and it glitters under the streetlight.

"Hyune," you gasp. "I can't accept this."

"Yes, you can," he says, stepping forward. "It's a thankyou. For always showing up for me. I would have been lost without you tonight."

You chuckle softly, fighting sudden tears. "You don't need to say thank you to me. I would have agreed no matter the circumstances."

Hyunjin shakes his head. "That's what I'm saying. You always show up for me. You're always there. So consider this a token of my gratitude, from member to member. Not just for tonight, for all of it."

He delicately takes the ring out of the box and slides it onto your finger.

(2) Dusty blonde dye:

You take the item from him.

It's a little gift bag, cream-coloured with the Versace logo embellished in gold on the side. You look up at him in question, but he just nods and gestures for you to open it.

Reaching inside, you pull out a little strip of white leather; drawing it out of the bag all the way, you chuckle as you hold the keychain up.

It's a little star-shaped Versace plush in white fur; it has a little pair of white sunglasses, the clasp golden and connecting the little furry thing to the leather strap.

"I love it," you say, giggling. "It looks familiar, too. You have one the same, right?"

"Right," he nods, grinning. "I have one in black. I thought we could be matching."

You step forward and pull him into a hug. "I'm gonna find somewhere to hang it as soon as possible. It's so cute and fluffy."

"Like you."

You splutter and thwack him on the arm.

(3) Icy blue dye:

You take the item from him.

It's a smooth, cardboard box; the rose-gold embellishment shines under the streetlights, highlighting the abstract sketches all over the packaging.

There's a pretty silver ribbon tied around its middle, and you look at Hyunjin in question.

He nods, so you pull the ribbon off and carefully pull out the smaller section of the box. A beautiful perfume bottle sits comfortably in a cutout of black foam.

The bottle is shaped like a heart, facets of it cut like a diamond. The liquid inside is a lovely light purple, and little bits of glitter swirl inside the bottle. The nozzle cover is shaped like a crown. Your name is engraved in fancy cursive along the top of the bottle.

"Hyune," you say in awe, dumbstruck by the loveliness of the gesture. "You didn't have to do this for me."

"I did," he says gently. "I wanted to."

♡

Your turn...

You give him a hug, holding the gift in one hand.

He smells like his familiar musky cologne, though it's faded and only just there. You pull back and swear you almost feel your heart burst. His eyes are alight with gentle affection even under the darkness of late-night Seoul.

"Thank you for asking me along," you say. "I really enjoyed myself."

"Ditto," Hyunjin says, eyes crinkling. "Better get used to it... I might drag you along to more events in the future."

You chuckle and turn to head up the stairs. Hyunjin waits until you're inside, but he doesn't follow. Knowing his schedule, he's probably not done for the night, and the thought makes your heart pang.

You hope he'll get at least a little bit of rest.

Heading up the stairs, then the lift, then down multiple hallways, you unlock the door to your dorm room. Stepping inside, you take your shoes off and sigh.

It's late, and all you want to do is collapse onto the floor and maybe sleep there for the next few days, but you have to sort yourself out first. You head to your bedroom and change into your favourite comfy set of clothes, their familiar texture and warmth making your eyes droop.

Choice 8: Which pajamas do you choose? Select one.

If you chose...

(1) Casual sweatshirt pajama set:

You change into a white sweatshirt, baggy and comfortable, and a pair of black and white pajama bottoms. It's cold outside, and your feet are getting cold too, so you slip on a pair of fluffy white socks.

You sit on the bed to put them on. Your phone chimes beside you and you pick it up, flicking your messages open. There's a text from Hyunjin, so you open the chat.

Sleep well, Y/nnie! You did great tonight xx 💫

(2) Teddy-bear pajama set:

You button up a fleecy, cream-coloured pajama shirt with brown bears all over the fabric, and pull on matching bottoms. Heat floods through your body and you sigh, feeling cosy.

It's getting cold and your feet feel like ice, so you put on a pair of white socks too. Your phone buzzes as you stand up and stretch. It's a text from Hyunjin, so you unlock your phone.

I hope you get some rest, Y/n 🖤 You deserve it.

(3) Black silk pajama set:

You pull out your favourite set of black silk pajamas and slip into them, the smooth, clean material making you feel luxuriously relaxed.

You don't feel too cold at the moment, so you don't bother with a hoodie or socks. Or maybe you should... You don't want to get sick. While you're contemplating this, your phone pings, and you pick it up to see a text from Hyunjin.

Sweet dreams, Y/n ☁️ See you tomorrow!

♡

Your turn...

You smile and text a quick goodnight reply back. Turning off your phone, you set it on your bedside before stepping into the bathroom. You wouldn't dream of falling asleep without taking care of your skin.

Especially after such a long day.

You survey the countertops and then the drawers, trying to decide which of your products to use.

Choice 9: Which K-beauty products are you using? Select one.

If you chose...

(1) Pink skincare set:

You select several products.

Washing your face thoroughly with a cleanser, you dry it off with a pink towel and apply a soothing lotion on top. You use your gua sha and jade roller for a while and then apply your usual skincare overnight cream on top, as well as a few cute sticker patches.

Your skin feels refreshed and smooth.

(2) Grey skincare set:

You select several products.

After cleansing your face, you apply a face cream and your favourite overnight lip mask. Applying two grey jelly eye patches underneath your eyes, you use a little bit of your usual cream on your blemishes before screwing the lid back on.

Your skin feels clean and glowy.

(3) Beige skincare set:

You select several products.

Wiping down your face after cleansing it, you apply your favourite cream and then a honey-coloured serum, smelling of vanilla. Rubbing it into your skin, you massage your face gently before applying a lip balm and your usual skincare cream.

Your skin feels moisturised and balmy.

♡

Your turn...

Sighing and turning the bathroom light off, you close the door before slipping into bed.

The sheets and duvet feel so, so good after such a long and busy day. It was eventful and you enjoyed yourself a lot, but there's nothing like the comfort of being home, all cosy in bed.

You lean over and switch the bedside lamp off, throwing a blanket of soothing darkness over the room. Shifting a little to get comfortable, you wonder what Hyunjin is doing. Hopefully getting ready to rest for the night too. Your cheeks warm at the domestic thought.

Sighing cosily, you turn onto your side and close your eyes. You hope this 'emergency plus-one' thing happens a bit more often in the future, and as you begin to fall asleep, you think that you'd like to meet up with him under other circumstances too. Where it's just the two of you.

One day.

a/n: this better not fucken flop omg . anyway please comment and let me know what you think ! might do more of the members if this one goes well <3

send a dm, comment under the taglist post, or send an ask to be added !

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moon-ttokki-x · 1 month ago

Note

hiii my love ^^

reader who just got cheated on by her now ex bf, and hyunlix comforting her with cuddles and ice cream?

-🪻

yay here you go flower anon !! i procrastinated so long on this tbh but it's here now hehehe ~

stay - hyunlix x heartbroken fem!reader

pairing: hyunlix x fem!reader

summary: you show up at hyunjin and felix's place after breaking up with your bf

genre: idol!au, fem!reader, mentions of breaking up, nudity (non-sexual), mentions of blood, skin picking, mentions of eating and drinking, hyunjin and felix are soft and fluffy, hyune loves his ice cream, reader's ex bf is a fucken jerk, for the purpose of this fic, hyunjin and lix live together, reader and ex bf lived together too

a/n: this should not have taken this long bruh . . .

skz masterlist

By the look on Hyunjin's face, he was clearly not expecting to see you soaking wet on the porch, mascara streaking down your face in dark streaks like a waterfall.

You shift foot to foot, miserable, soaked to the bone, freezing, heartbroken. Behind the dim, golden embrace of the porch light, the rain continues to thunder down in sheets.

Hyunjin's hair is soft, fluffy, slightly spiky at the edges where the longer strands are beginning to grow back. His black headphones are slung around his neck, the sleeves of his hoodie pulled down over his hands to keep them warm.

"Y/n," he says, horrified. "What happened? Ah-"

You cut him off by plunging yourself face first into his chest, your clothes soaking his. Your fingers are so cold, almost numb, but you twist them into his hoodie as hard as you can, crying into his chest like a lost child.

Hyunjin stumbles slightly, but stays upright as you press yourself further into him, like you can just melt into his chest and disappear. With some difficulty, he reaches around you and pulls the door shut, waddling backwards and trying to keep you up.

The din of the rain silences suddenly, the only noise in the space your muffled, hiccupping sobs and the faint dripping of your soaked clothes and hair onto the floor. Hyunjin keeps an arm around you as he peers out the window next to the door, warily checking for any threat. Something must have scared you badly if you'd come running to his and Felix's door in the pouring rain this late at night.

He doesn't seem to mind that you're soaking his clothes with the mini thunderstorm you'd collected on the way here; even if he was upset, you can't bring yourself to care. Your chest aches, and your skin feels cold and wet, and you're shivering so hard you can't speak.

Hyunjin shushes you gently, kneeling down and slipping off your shoes and socks before setting them aside. He pulls off your drenched jacket and hangs it up on the hook to dry.

You don't let go even when he takes a step, so he waddles you awkwardly through the dimly lit hallway to the kitchen and living room, where Felix is sat in front of the TV.

He looks up, dark hair falling into his face, hoodie and sweats ruffled as if he'd been jumping around. You know this because the sounds of his favourite game emanate from the screen in front of him, one that he tends to get quite active playing (mainly because he's bad at it and he gets frustrated easily).

The previously determined expression on his face shifts to confusion, then to horror, then to concern. He drops his controller, almost tripping over the mess of blankets and pillows sprawled on the floor, and turns the TV off. He tosses his headphones onto the couch before holding out his hands to where you're still clutching at Hyunjin like an anchor.

"Y/nnie," he whispers, eyes sad. "What- Are you okay?"

You sniffle, bottom lip wobbling, quaking from the cold. You're chattering so hard you can't control your motions at all, no matter how hard you try.

Felix seems to realise this, because he folds you into his arms, murmurs something to Hyunjin, and begins gently walking you upstairs, leaving a trail of little cold droplets behind you all the way.

Your legs stop working the moment Felix walks you into his room; he open the bathroom door to the ensuite and sits you down on the edge of the bathtub. He turns the hot tap on all the way, to the highest setting, and then disappears back into the bedroom. For a moment, the sloshing of the water as it fills the tub is the only sound that surrounds you.

You let a hand dangle behind you, dragging a finger through the steaming water. The difference in temperature makes you shudder; it feels numb but good, the fiery flames of heated water licking up your fingers and forearm like a balm.

You look up just as Felix comes back into the bathroom, and he switches the dimmer light setting on before placing several folded items of clothing on the ledge.

"Do you want help?" He whispers softly.

You shake your head, exhausted. Felix nods gently before pointing to the sink. "Put your wet clothes in there. I'll handle them; there's soap and shampoo in the corner there if you want to wash up. Take your time, okay?"

You nod before shakily standing up. Felix closes the door with a quiet "Call us if you need us," and then you hear the sound of his footsteps retreating out of the room.

Sighing deeply, trying to thaw your frozen lungs, you reach behind and turn the tap off. The bath is three-quarters full, steaming; you strip down and drop your wet clothes in the sink before stepping into the tub.

You hiss at the change in temperature; sinking down fully, you groan aloud at the feeling. Closing your eyes, relishing the warmth of the water, you wonder how something can be so different.

Water.

The rain outside; destructive, cold sheets, drenching you in ice.

The bath water; hot, balmy, a heated caress to your figure.

How can one thing have such opposite effects?

He was like that too.

The memory comes flooding back; the same evening, the soft touches and gentle words. He'd gone to the bathroom and left his phone unlocked.

Turns out, you'd been cheated on. And it wasn't a recent thing, either; five months you'd been unaware of the situation.

You had no idea that the moment you'd picked up his phone and seen who he was texting, you would end up here, exhausted, drained, heartbroken, confused.

Well, not really, the sensible little voice in your head says. You ignored a lot of things, forgave him too often. You gave him an inch and he took a mile-

Shut up, you tell it.

That little voice has been piping up in your head for the past few weeks, banging on the door of your heart, telling you to open up and accept reality.

But you'd ignored it, simply choosing to blindly believe that the constant late-night work sessions, the 'going out with the boys', the smiling at his phone, and the secretive demeanour of his behaviour was nothing more than a simple misunderstanding, a coincidence.

Until it wasn't.

You sigh and slip down further into the cooling water, watching the ripples of water slosh against the tub's edge. It takes several minutes to muster enough strength to shakily stand, water streaming down your body, sending a chill through your bones.

You dry off with a fluffy towel Felix left on the edge of the bath, and then dress in the hoodie and sweats, dropping your wet clothes in the sink like he said to.

You face your reflection in the mirror.

Pale, sunken, exhausted. Like the life has been drained out of you. You suppose it's your own fault in a way.

You hear the faint shuffling and clattering of dishes downstairs, the domestic background noises making a tear unexpectedly prick at the corner of your eye.

You're safe. At least for now.

Trudging downstairs, you wait at the bottom of the stairs before shifting awkwardly from foot to foot.

Now that your initial overwhelm and panic has dissipated, the awkwardness of interrupting the domestic scene in front of you makes you feel shy, a cold ghost in a room full of warmth and love.

Felix is no longer sat in front of the TV; his headphones are still slung around his neck as he busily slots dishes away from the dishrack into their respective cupboards. Water drips down his forearms and he groans, making Hyunjin laugh.

He's at the stove, stirring a pot of something, and he's changed his hoodie.

You recognise the smell now; the rich, creamy scent that filled your nostrils when you'd burst in earlier. You hadn't been able to acknowledge it, too wet and freezing and miserable to do anything more than cling to Hyunjin's middle.

Said boy looks up from the stove. Felix pauses his ministrations, a glass and a plate in his hands. He makes a little sympathetic noise and before you know, you're met with a warm, soft wall of musky, faded cologne, the sweetness of body to body making you melt and relax into Felix's arms.

"We've got you," he whispers, and it takes everything in you not to break down. He doesn't even know what happened, neither does Hyunjin, and yet they're still here, accommodating you and caring for you even though you showed up unannounced.

"Hey," Hyunjin says softly, tugging at a sleeve of the hoodie you're wearing. Felix's hoodie. "Feeling better after cleaning up?"

You nod, unable to do anything more than the simple motion. Everything feels like an effort, and the cold seems to have drained more of your energy than you thought. Along with the running here and the emotional exhaustion and the shock and-

"Come and eat something," Felix says quietly, one hand gently cradling the back of your head. "We can talk later if you feel like it, but right now, it doesn't do you any good to run on empty."

Hyunjin nods, agreeing with a wink to lighten the heaviness hanging in the atmosphere. "Besides, we can't let any of my cooking go to waste. Come on."

Sighing, you set down your bowl on the coffee table, the sides of it and your spoon scraped and licked clean. Leaning back, you close your eyes, letting the hot, rich food settle pleasantly in your stomach. You feel so sleepy.

Hyunjin and Felix finished eating a while ago; once you'd finished your first helping, Felix had taken the bowl without a word and refilled it from the pot on the stove. You hadn't even noticed, too focused on filling your stomach. Partly to relieve the pangs of cold hunger in your stomach, partly to distract yourself from the situation.

But they hadn't seemed to mind, quietly sitting either side of you while you ate. Now, you twist your fingers around each other, relishing the silence and the calm, but not sure how to start the conversation.

How do you even explain that?

Showing up at your best friends' place in the middle of the night. Soaked in rain and tears. Sobbing. Begging to be let in.

How do you even excuse yourself?

"Oh, hey. Sorry I showed up at your place all wet and soaking, looking like I watched someone get murdered."

But you don't say that. You don't try to come up with an excuse. Even if you wanted to, you couldn't. You simply don't have the energy to lie to them.

Besides, it's Hyunjin and Felix. Your best friends.

They probably already have an idea anyway.

"I broke up with him," you say quietly, your voice croaky.

Both boys look up, surprise written over Felix's features, and Hyunjin's face set in sad empathy.

"Oh, Y/nnie," Felix says, dropping his head to your shoulder. "We're so sorry. We know how much you cared for him."

Hyunjin scoots a little closer. "Who broke it off?"

"Me," you say miserably. "He went to the bathroom and left his phone unlocked. He's been cheating on me-"

"What-" Felix stands up then, hands on hips, eyebrows creased in a frown. "How dare he cheat on our Y/n! You? Cheated on you, of all people-"

"Felix, sit down," Hyunjin turns to you, his tone soft. "Did you just leave straight after?"

You nod. "I didn't know where else to go. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, okay?" Felix says, sitting down and nestling into your side. "We're honoured that you thought to come to us."

"Yeah," Hyunjin adds. "You can stay here a while, if that's what you need-"

"No, no, no, I can't do that," you wave your hands frantically. "I can't be a burden on you guys- Ah-"

Felix grabs your face, squishing your cheeks as he turns you to face him. "You're not a burden. We need some action around this place anyway, and you're fun to be with. Stay."

You sigh as he lets go, picking at the skin around your nails. Hyunjin places a hand over yours, his warm digits resting over the rough, uneven skin around your thumbs. "I can't."

"Yes, you can," they both say in unison. Felix pouts.

You chuckle bitterly. "I left all of my stuff at his place. For all I know, he might have thrown it all out."

"We can send someone to go get your things," Hyunjin says quietly. "Or we can come with you to pack up."

"I don't want anyone to get hurt."

Felix scoffs. "We're intimidating enough. Hyunjin can throw a good punch. I doubt he'll say anything. And you have a spare key, right?"

You nod.

"Then that's settled," he says, sitting back and slinging an arm around your shoulders. "Or, we can wait until he's at work, or not home, and then sneak in and pack all your stuff up. You can move in with us for as long as you need."

"I can make up the spare bedroom," Hyunjin chimes in eagerly. "Innie tends to sleep over sometimes so it's a bit of a mess, but it's nothing a quick straightening-up can't fix."

You touch a hand to Felix's knee and press your thumb over Hyunjin's hand, intertwined with yours. "Thank you. Really."

"Don't say thank you, Y/n," Hyunjin says. "You know we're here whenever you need us. And right now you do."

Felix leans in to hug you fully, nodding vehemently.

Both of them embrace you in a mess of warm, tangled limbs, Felix smelling of his faded cologne, Hyunjin of his light, fruity shampoo. You close your eyes and inhale deeply as everything goes quiet. The TV has fallen asleep, and all you can see is the faint light behind you from the kitchen, and the soft glow of a lamp in the corner of the living room.

The golden glow softens the planes of Hyunjin's face as he pulls back. He claps his hands.

"Right," he says, business-like. "We had dinner, and you need cheering up, so now we all need dessert."

"There's ice-cream in the freezer," Felix offers, grinning.

You both laugh as Hyunjin pumps a fist in the air, letting out a triumphant 'yes' as he scrambles up. You hear the pitter-patter of his footsteps on the tiles as they recede into the kitchen.

There's silence for a few moments, and then Felix breaks it, leaning his head on your shoulder. Wispy strands of his hair tickle your face like pinfeathers, soft and light.

"Hey," he says softly, almost a whisper.

"Hmm?"

Felix chuckles softly, sincerely. "I'm glad you came to us."

You sigh and close your eyes, resting against him and curling your arms around your middle. One of his hands moves to smooth itself up and down your forearm, and you sigh as the metal of his rings sends little cold sensations along your skin.

You watch the movement with sleep-heavy, half-lidded eyes.

"Me too."

a/n: comment for part 4 of the bsf!chan series !

ttokki's taglist: @emilyywhyyy @galaxy4489 @hyuneskkami @justsomekpopstuff @wavetohannie @strayingawayy @its-stayville-forever @sillyseob @wickedbutlovely @headfirstfortoro @lov3yv4mps @possum-playground @bear8585 @astraystayyh @m-325 @gnabnahcbby @mbioooo0000 @akindaflora @tsunderelino @hhwangsmoon @crazyforthatbangchandude @bluebellsringinghereandthere @ladylexis @tillaboo @geni-627 @jsngprk-vhs @stellasays45 @de-uns-tempos-pra-ca

send a dm, comment under the taglist post, or send an ask to be added !

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moon-ttokki-x · 1 month ago

Note

Just wanted to pop in and say hi and thank you for always tagging me in your stuff! Thank you for making me feel so included (JJ from @justsomekpopstuff 💚😊)

that's okay !! i remember you were always one of the first to check out my stuff, so i figured you'd want to keep up :]

#skz #stray kids #moon ttokki x #moon ttokki x fics #ttokki talks #🖤🐇⛓️#🗨️🐇#ttokki's jj 🖤

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moon-ttokki-x · 1 month ago

Note

hiii lovee

can you do a fic with chan with an overworked!trainee!reader, where he finds her asleep at a cafe near the JYP building, after his day of work and it’s just very fluffy and sweet

-🪻

i haven't got anything to say tbh so . . .

star in the making - (chan x overworked trainee!reader)

pairing: bang chan x overworked trainee!reader

summary: chan finds you asleep in the cafe near JYPE after a long day.

genre: idol & trainee!au, mentions of eating and drinking, chan needs to put a fucking screen filter on his laptop, reader is tired asf, mentions of injuries, self-doubt, chan is the softest mashed potato :[

a/n: i had to drag this out of my brain . . . div by @roseraris

skz masterlist

Chan left the JYP building with his head hung low.

In the dusty purple hue glowing from the late-evening sky, everything felt soft and pillowy, but he couldn't help but drag his feet in exhaustion. The scraping of his shoes against the pavement slowed to a stop as he lifted his head, inhaling a deep, cold breath of lilac air.

He groaned and stretched his back a little, feeling the satisfying vibration ring through his bones. He couldn't remember if he'd actually taken a break from working since the morning, and his eyes stung and watered as he blinked them shut.

"Ow," he huffed, scrubbing at his face. His knuckles came away wet and his vision momentarily blurred, strained from the constant focus on his screens in the studio.

Making a mental note to set his screen brightness lower next time, he looked up just as his eyes focused on the cafe across the street.

Small, golden, and cosy, it stayed open late enough for desperate trainees and exhausted artists to rest, a tiny slice of evening light in the otherwise-deserted streets of Seoul.

Chan checked his watch. He should really be heading back to the dorms; Jeongin would be expecting him. He wasn't sure he'd make it back without some sort of energy boost, though, so he looked across the streets both ways, and then crossed, pulling the wooden-framed door of the little cafe open.

The warm, golden glow of the overhead lights hit him with a soft ray of warmth, making his cheeks turn pink from the effects of the thawing cold in his blood. He sighed, pulling the door shut behind himself, and nodded once to the barista.

She smiled tiredly, wiping down the counter with a cloth, and moved away to attend to one of the coffee machines, too familiar with his face to cause much of a fuss.

Chan ordered a hot drink and paid, before stuffing his receipt in his pocket and looking around for somewhere to sit.

His gaze caught onto a small, hunched-over figure nestled in a tiny booth at the back, a cup of barely-touched tea next to them.

Chan smiled softly, the familiar flop of your hair and the usually-ruffled clothes drowning your frame pulling him like a magnet.

Sitting down next to you and shedding his coat, he draped it over your back before poking you lightly in the side.

"Mmhmff..."

"Wake up, Y/n."

Lifting your head, you groaned before rubbing your eyes with a fist. "Wha- Chan?"

He grinned, the skin around his eyes crinkling. He didn't seem to mind the lack of honorifics, simply choosing to stroke a strand of hair out of your face in an affectionate, brotherly gesture. "Hi."

You sighed sleepily before resting your head on the cushioned backseat of the booth. "What time is it?"

"Late enough." He pushed the cooling cup of tea towards you.

Taking a small sip with a momentous amount of effort, you pushed the cup away before blinking away the remnants of sleepiness. "What are you doing here?"

Chan nodded at the barista in thanks as she set down his drink in front of him, and pulled the steaming mug towards himself. "Needed a boost before heading home. Didn't feel like getting a ride home; I've been sat on my ass all day in the studio."

You snicker, fighting another yawn. "As per usual."

"Shut it, trainee."

A tiny laugh escaped your mouth; you pulled Chan's coat around yourself a little tighter, feeling the post-sleep shiver set in, a disturbance to your previous state. "I've been sleeping since four, I think. It was packed when I came in."

"It's bad for your back to sleep like that, you know."

You fired back without hesitation. "And it's bad to be shut up in a studio all day, staring at a screen."

Chan's chuckle warmed the air between you, a musky, welcoming sound. His voice cleared a little as he took a sip of his drink, the warm liquid soothing his throat. "Fair enough. Still, you shouldn't sleep here. Go home. Rest."

You shook your head, resting it on your folded forearms as you leaned over the table. "Too tired. I had dance practice all day."

He stared thoughtfully into the distance, gaze unfocused. "It can't have been that bad."

"I can't feel my legs. I think I pulled a muscle..."

"Which one?"

"All of them."

Chan choked on his drink, hiccupping as he thumped himself in the chest. You chuckled as he exhaled, wiping the last dregs of his drink from his lips. "Average trainee experience, huh?"

You sighed and nestled further into your forearms, Chan's heavy coat like a hug on your back. "Yeah. I don't seem to be getting any better, though. Lots of my friends have dropped out already."

Chan was silent for a moment. He pressed his fingertips to the warm porcelain of the mug in his hands, relishing its warmth. His voice was soft in the golden light. "Lots of trainees do. It's not just about talent, Y/n; you have to be able to keep pushing and persevering. You need heart."

"I do?"

"Yes," Chan sat back against the cushioned seat. "And you've got plenty of it, little one."

You couldn't fight the warmth rising in your cheeks.

"Okay," you whispered.

Chan's gaze was steady, measured; he ran a finger around the rim of the mug in his hands. "Keep your chin up, hmm? It gets easier around evaluation time. Just push as hard as you can for now and it'll pay off. I promise."

You gazed at him thoughtfully; the smooth, cold-flushed planes of his face, his dark, windswept hair. His eyes, perhaps a little baggy and strained, but as full of loveliness and affection as they had been the day you'd first met.

Your voice was quiet and thoughtful, wary as if you were afraid you'd be overstepping a boundary. "Was it worth it? The struggle?"

His gaze met yours, and he pushed the mug away. "I felt like it wasn't really worth it while I was training. But now, I'm the leader of a successful group, I've learnt so much and met so many new people, I get to spend my days doing what I love-"

"And you have seven kids."

He tweaked your nose, smiling at your cheeky interruption. "Eight. Including you."

You grinned, sleep still faintly dulling your senses in a pleasant, dreamy haze. "Me?"

Chan chuckled quietly. "Yes, you. Our little star-in-the-making."

He picked up your teacup and placed it next to his in the middle of the table. He reached into the pocket of his coat, still draped over you, and retrieved his phone.

"Come on. I'll take you home."

a/n: yayy new fic (do people even read these notes? comment if you do pls)

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moon-ttokki-x · 1 month ago

Note

what if the 9th member of skz was having a terrible day and just feeling off, like nothing is going well? then, during dance practice she can't focus and can't get the moves right, so the members, stressed, tired and overworked snap at her and say hurtful things. in the heat of the moment she gets emotional and runs off, but later she's hurt, but very understanding and chill. in the end, please make it fluffy. (please leave the reader's age a mystery)

i swear i've seen another fic like this request but maybe it was just a fever dream . anyways . . .

soft landing - (ot8!skz x distressed!reader)

pairing: ot8!skz x distressed!reader

summary: you've all been stretched thin by the latest comeback, and skz catches you on a bad day.

genre: idol!au, reader's age and place in the group is unspecified, ngl skz are pretty mean in this one, mentions of eating and drinking, mentions of blood, bruises, throwing up, feeling dizzy, depression, burnout, exhaustion, reader just really needs a hug tbh

a/n: back in my inconsolably angsty fic writing era

skz masterlist

It was one of those days; the type where you woke up and just knew somehow that things were going to go wrong.

You felt sluggish. Bleary. Dull.

You almost slipped out of bed, your alarm ringing so loudly you were sure you'd woken all of Seoul.

Then, you'd hit your hand on the bedside table trying to turn it off, and then dropped your toothbrush on your foot when you entered the bathroom.

Breakfast had been a fiasco; you'd lost motivation in trying to cook something before practice. Half an Oreo was enough until lunch time, right?

Huffing, you stab the elevator button with a finger, readjusting the bag on your shoulder. Glancing across at the small strip of reflective metal above the button selection, you smooth out your ruffled hair before waiting for the doors to open.

You only just made it to the studio in time; Changbin turns around with a sigh as you whirl around and pull the door shut.

"Took you long enough," he says. "Go sing your lines."

You know he didn't mean to sound angry or irritated; everyone had been stretched thin lately, and you knew he was just tired.

The new comeback was taking a toll on everyone, including Chan (who was sitting at the mixing table and clearly hadn't slept in a week), and Jisung, who was fast asleep on the couch, an arm thrown over his head. His song lyrics glow on his phone, rising and falling on his stomach in tandem with his soft, slow breathing.

Sighing, you drop your belongings on the floor, startling Jisung awake, and shut the door of the recording booth behind yourself. Slipping on the headphones, you wait for the beat before singing several of your lines.

Chan looks at you strangely through the glass. His eyes were dark and baggy. "Try again, Y/n."

Even hearing him say that made you feel like a failure. He hadn't said anything wrong; just told you to rerecord your part. A little bubble of sadness rises in your stomach and you shove it down, clamped a lid on it.

This was no time to be dramatic, let alone succumb to the desperate tiredness pulling you down into the dark depths of your mind. Shaking your head and swallowing thickly, you sing again, and this time, Chan nods before scribbling down a few notes in his pad.

You leave the recording booth and sat quietly on the couch next to Jisung, who clearly hasn't forgiven you for waking him up. He huffs and shuffles away from you, pressing himself up against the other side of the couch.

Normally, the petty gesture would have made you laugh, scoot across the couch, poke his cheek or make fun of his childish act. But you just don't have it in you to be enthusiastic, or even move without reason.

And though you know he doesn't mean it, that he isn't trying to be genuinely hurtful, it strangely pulls at your heartstrings and makes your spirits sink. The world is covered in a permanent grey filter, blocking out all life and colour and joy.

Oh. Okay.

You spend the rest of the producing session with your knees tucked to your chest, nodding when Changbin or Chan calls out a note for everyone to remember, but mainly sitting quietly and trying to ignore the awful feeling in your chest.

Your stomach hurts; it aches deep down in the middle, and you feel sick. Not throw-up sick; more sad, lonely, too-tired, joy-deprived sick.

You barely register 3RACHA packing up their equipment and heading to the dance studio; your body moves on autopilot, as if someone's puppeteering you, and follow them down the hall. Everything feels muted; your body feels alien, like you don't really belong in it.

Floating...

You don't even remember what's happening before the blast of music brings you back down to earth, along with the sounds of heavy panting and shoes squeaking on the polished wooden floor.

The boys are already moving into position, Seungmin moving to the front for his part.

You stumble and Felix gives you a look, but you manage to somehow catch yourself and keep dancing. But trying to keep up with the boys is like running through water. Slow, sluggish, impossible.

Their moves look so smooth and practiced; you feel like a child that's wandered into the studio and been forced to dance. You know the choreo, of course you do.

You could never forget it, not with the countless hours of practicing it, but it's like your body and mind are disconnected, and your limbs just aren't doing what you want them to. You stumble into Hyunjin during formation and ungracefully take him down to the floor with you.

"Oof-"

There's several groans and whines, and a few voiced concerns. The music turns off.

You hear a groan above you; Hyunjin has taken the brunt of the fall, your head pillowed on his stomach. He whines and sits up, and you roll off while rubbing your wrist. It aches, and the sudden, heart-dropping pain is making it hard to breathe. You fight the urge to whimper.

"Sorry, Hyune," you whisper to him. "I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine," he grunts, standing up and brushing himself off. He stalks back to position and gives you a pointed look. Everyone is staring, and the music rewinds several seconds, so you meekly heave yourself up and do the same.

Your wrist is really throbbing now, and you hiss before blinking black dots and tears out of your vision. This isn't the time to be weak. The comeback is soon, and all your group members seem to be doing fine; there's no reason you can't do the same.

Get a grip, you tell yourself harshly.

But the self-chiding doesn't work; it only brings with it a certain sort of desperation, the type that preludes your body giving up, and your mind following. You're exhausted. And you kick yourself, because it's past lunch time and you didn't eat, didn't even notice the time pass.

You haven't ingested anything all day, or done anything productive apart from sing your lines, but your body is screaming for rest like you've just run a marathon. You're running on fumes.

You feel absolutely pathetic, but you meanly shove it aside in favour of trying to keep up.

And you do, at least until your foot slips out from underneath you without warning, sending you to the floor with a dull thud. Pain explodes in your side, lungs struggling to take in air.

This time, you can hear the exasperated groans of "Y/n, come on," and "Are you serious?", but you don't even register it, rolling onto your side in the hopes of sucking at least some air into your lungs. You gulp and exhale sharply, on the verge of laying back down and sobbing. On the edge of giving up entirely and starting a new life on the studio floor.

No one reaches out to help.

You expect to see a hand reaching to yours, someone's sneakers as they lean down, a soothing hand on your back, maybe, but it doesn't come. Not even from Chan.

What you do hear is a harsh "Can you stop being so dramatic?" and a mean little laugh bubbling out of a member behind you.

Your vision blurs with tears, the skin of your sweaty cheek almost sticking to the floor in its wetness. Heaving yourself up slowly, and with such pain and difficulty you're convinced you've broken something, you keel over and gasp for air.

Nobody moves. The sound of it, or lack thereof, is horrible.

Your eyes stop blurring for just a moment, enough that you can see your reflection swaying in the mirror, the pale sheen and shakiness of your hands, and the stoic faces of your members.

"Y/n, can you at least try to keep up?" Minho huffs, stressed, hands on hips. "We've got a performance in two days and you can't even get past the first half of the choreo-"

"Shut the fuck up," you snap venomously.

Silence.

Everyone's faces are contorted in shock; you're sure you would have looked the same way, had you not currently been feeling so sick. You've surprised even yourself; the comment burst out of you like a sharp needle suddenly and forcefully piercing a stiff piece of fabric.

Minho looks like he's about to retaliate, no doubt with a severe reply of his own, but it's interrupted by Chan's voice descending like rumbling thunder over the studio.

"Y/n, we don't have time for this," he shouts. "Take five minutes, and then we'll restart. Just try harder, okay? You're bringing the group down-"

"Maybe," you cry out at him, hot tears spilling down your cheeks, "If you think I'm bringing the group down, I should just fucking leave!"

You shove past Jeongin and Hyunjin before fleeing out of the studio and down the corridor, leaving the rest of the group standing in stunned silence.

Minho sighs and rubs the bridge of his nose.

You don't go far; you drag your feet to the end of a corridor and enter an unused vocal room.

A classic piano and several guitars on the wall sport a thin coat of dust, and you stir more of it up as you collapse against the wall. The sun is in your eyes and you can see the dust floating about you, but you just don't have the energy to care.

Thoughts race in your head.

You're bringing the group down...

The comeback is soon and you're not ready.

Stop being so dramatic!

Just try harder. Everyone else is fine-

So why aren't you?

Sniffling, you pull back your sleeve and turn your wrist over. There's already a nasty purple bruise forming on the bone of your wrist, and it hurts to move back and forth. You feel dizzy from all of the gasping, and the sound of static surrounds your being as you try and rid your lungs of the winded feeling.

It's still hard to gulp in a full breath of air; you must have fallen really hard, and your side is definitely tender and bruised. Part of you wants to take your shirt off and inspect the damage, but you just sit and stare unseeingly out the window. Everything turns into doubles and triples as you let your eyes unfocus.

Two Jeongins suddenly poke their head quietly into the room.

No, wait, just one. One.

"Hi," he says quietly, almost a whisper. Guilt coats his expression.

You just blink tiredly, sniffing as he trails inside. He sneezes once from the dust, and you don't even jump. Or smile like you usually do at the fox-like way he sniffs and rubs his nose.

He sits down a respectful distance from you, clearly aware of the rapid, panicked rising and falling of your chest, and the sweat sheening your forehead. "Are you okay?"

You feel more hot tears stream down your cheeks like little paths of lava. You open your mouth to form a word, but no sound comes out.

"Y/n," he says sorrowfully. "I'm really sorry."

Minho's voice fills the air. "So are we."

Both of you turn just as Hyunjin, Seungmin, and Felix trail into the room, followed by the rest of the members. Minho moves to sit by your side and you stubbornly look away, not ready to face him just yet.

"We shouldn't have snapped at you the way we did," Felix says quietly. The rest of the members nod their heads, murmuring in agreement. "You were having a rough day, and we should have noticed."

"It's okay," you say, so quiet you can't even hear it. But they do.

"No, it's not," Hyunjin says firmly. "In times like this, we should be supporting each other, not tearing each other down."

"Hyune-"

"We've all been stretched thin because of the comeback, Y/n," Changbin says quietly. "We know you have been, too. But Hyunjin's right. We should be kinder to each other because of it, no matter if we get tired or stressed or upset."

You swallow, throat dry and itchy. The saliva does nothing to soothe it. "I messed up the choreography."

Chan tilts his head softly, voice gentle and sad. "And we messed up your day."

Minho touches your hand lightly, expression uncharacteristically soft. "You forgive us?"

You nod, not having the energy to be upset. You just want to go home and rest. Eat something. Feel better again, feel real again.

He sighs quietly, relieved but still worried. "You got hurt and we didn't help. Is it bad?"

You chuckle, voice cracking as your eyes well up. "Nah."

Chan strokes a strand of damp hair out of your eyes. "I'm so truly sorry, Y/n. I didn't mean it when I said that you're bringing the group down. It was so hurtful of me to say-"

"Yeah, Chan-hyung," Jeongin chides him. "You're mean."

The rest of the members eagerly agree and interrupt with their own little lectures, Jisung even going so far to bravely snatch his leader's black cap off of his head. It makes you crack a tiny smile.

"Alright, guys, enough," Chan says meekly. "Let's get you home, Y/n. You need a good rest. I think we all do."

"Group hug, everyone," Felix says, clapping his hands suddenly. "No one's leaving 'til all has been fixed and forgiven."

"Yes!" Hyunjin claps his hands. "Group hug. You too, Seungmin-"

"No- Hmphff-"

You exhale with a small smile as you're piled upon. Closing your eyes, you let yourself be held, let the day's events wash off you like soapy suds. You've been suspended in the air all day by tangled ropes, ones that fray and snap and threaten to drop you plummeting to earth, but when you finally fall, you find that you're not afraid.

And for the first time in a while, falling doesn't hurt.

It's a soft, sure landing.

a/n: i want to nap so bad rn tbh

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