morbid-curiosity-iguess

[morbid-curiosity-iguess]

Fan art for @madamadamiu’s lost light cat shelter AU!

I have no idea how to draw cats but I did my best 😅

Close ups under the cut

[morbid-curiosity-iguess]

Made a hear-me-out cake for hitting $200 in our charity fundraiser for the Trevor Project... Enjoy my shame lmao

If you would like to donate to the campaign here's a link too it:

[morbid-curiosity-iguess]

I’ve got the transformers brain rot let’s go

Belonging

CyWhirlGate

Whirl truly was happy for Cyclonus and Tailgate- the mech had been trying to get them together for a while now and hearing the two had completed Conjunx Ritus was a victory in his, objectively correct, opinion. However, despite this, he couldn’t shake the pang in his spark.

He loved the two mechs, with all his spark.

He loved how Cyclonus cared for and defended those he cared for. How he stood strong for what he believed in.

He loved how Tailgate, despite his size and anxieties, went into every confrontation and situation with nothing but confidence and bravery. How he put all his being into everything he did.

He loved how they both were not only willing to give him a chance, even a second chance in the case of Cyclonus, but also hold him accountable for his B.S.

That said, Whirl kept it to himself. Locked down and hidden behind his jokes and confidence as he didn’t dare risk his relationship with them over such trivial emotions- not when the two meant more than the world to him.

As usual, Whirl found himself in Swerve’s Bar after his “chores” were done completed for the cycle. While not as taxing as other tasks on the Lost Light, such as working with the engines or the med bay, his joints and back ached from hunching over cleaning weapons for hours on end. Along with the usual phantom pains in his wrists and optic from his empurata, he was in a less than a positive mood. As the mech entered the door he was swiftly met with an excited shout of his name and Tailgate’s arms wrapping around his midsection in a full collision hug. Whirl felt a heat build behind his optic, like what would have been a blush once upon a time. Swiftly he shook off the feeling before half-heartedly patting Tailgate’s shoulder and returned the greeting.

“C’mon! Cyclonus and I nabbed a table in the corner,” Tailgate yelled over the music blaring in the bar, grabbing one of his claws and tugging him towards the aforementioned table. “We were starting to worry you weren’t going to show up”

“Ya’ kidding?!” Whirl replied, squinting slightly to try and negate the building pain in his helm while attempting to force his usual laid-back tone. “What on Cybertron would give you that idea, ‘Gate?”

The two arrived at the small table and took their seats along side Cyclonus- the purple mech simply greeting Whirl with a nod and nudged an extra mug of engex towards him.

“Normally you’re here before we are,” Tailgate began as he settled on his stool before looking back at the blue mech. “Plus ya looked really out of it in the halls."

The response had honestly taken him off guard. Whirl hadn’t realized just how much the two picked up on- or how obvious he had been with his off day. “Nah- just sore from the chores today,” he replied- dramatically tossing his servos over his helm in an over the top display of a stretch. He held back a wince at the spike of phantom pain. “Honestly feel like I could take on a whole Decepticon army!”

“Uh-huh.” Cyclonus spoke up as he sipped his engex, squinting slightly over the rim of the cubed glass.

Whirl snapped his head over to Cyclonus, squinting back at the deadpan mech and pointing at him with a single claw. “Don’t ‘uh-huh’ me. I could take on SEVERAL Megatron’s if I wanted.”

All he got was a smirk and eye roll from the purple bot along with a chuckle from Tailgate. Before long whirl had begun ranting and bantering with his companions and soon hours had passed and the bar began to clear out. The three bots said their good-byes, Cyclonus simply patting Whirl on the shoulder while Tailgate hugged him once again.

“Y’know…” the minicon began, holding Whirl’s servo in his own. “You could always come visit us in our habsuite? Doors always open for you.”

Whirl laughed at what he assumed was obviously a joke and responded. “Maybe another time, ‘Gate, though careful with the phrasing next time. Never know how it could be interpreted.”

Tailgate’s shoulders dropped slightly and slowly laughed. “Heh, yeah- next time!”

Cyclonus nodded at him before turning and guiding tailgate back towards their suite. Whirl’s spark ached as he wanted nothing more than to take Tailgate up on his offer and spend more of the evening with the duo. Suddenly what he said clicked in his brain and he softly smacked his forehead- or rather the top half of his optic- and began berating himself. Of COURSE that joke made Tailgate uncomfortable! Whirl thought I just had to screw it up again by overstepping! Swiftly, he headed to his habsuite and curled up in his berth. Alone and in pain.

The following day, Whirl stalked through the halls. His helm and servo pains had thankfully died down from the night before along with his general aches, but his processor still looped the events from the previous night- and how god awful his interaction with Tailgate went. His regret and spiralling as the cycle passed and he hadn’t seen much of the minicon. What little he had seen of him resulted in Tailgate swiftly attempting to exit whatever room or hall they were in. While the avoidance had hurt Whirl, a part of him was thankful he hadn’t tried to engage in any conversations as he was certain it would just make everything worse.

Eventually the cycle ended and Whirl decided he couldn’t be bothered dealing with the noise and chaos at Swerve’s and made his way to his habsuite. Besides, it’s not like he could face Tailgate and Cyclonus- Tailgate clearly hadn’t forgiven him for his out of pocket jokes and Cyclonus usually stood by his partner for most grudges. As he entered his suite, Whirl kept the lights dim as he made his way to his desk against the far wall, and began to tinker with the half finished clock that rested on its surface. At this point it had become almost second nature to work with his claws, although he did struggle at certain motions or points due to not being able to grab or see certain parts or tools. Outside of those instances, he was able to let his processor wander. He let the thoughts flow- Rung had talked about it a handful of times during his therapy. Explained it as a sort of meditation adjacent practice. Whirl had never actually attempted it prior to the Lost Lights interdimensional maiden voyage. And while he still preferred punching or shooting his problems- he’d give the old mech credit with the fact it did help.

Until a knock rang from the metal door startling Whirl from his thoughts and causing him to drop whatever gear he had in his hold. A faint growl left him as the mech stormed over to the door and opened it, ready to give whoever made the unfortunate mistake of knocking on his door at the wrong time a piece of his mind.

“What-“ he hissed, before noticing who exactly was at the door and trailing off.

“We need to talk.” Began Cyclonus, his gaze was intense and arms crossed over his chasse.

Whirl didn’t reply before simply stepping to the side to let the mech in. “Take a seat- would offer some kind of drink but I wasn’t expecting company.”

“That’s fine. I came by unannounced- as such there’s no obligation on your end.” Cyclonus responded as the two settled down in a small seating area by the large window on the far wall.

“So, to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit.”

“First off, are you ok?”

Whirl had to double take, before replying with a less than elegant “Heh?”

“You weren’t at Swerve’s this evening. Tailgate and I were worried something had happened. Or that Tailgate had gone too far last night.”

“Again- I reiterate- Heh? What are you talking about? Panic Button has been dodging me all day- figured I had stepped over the line more than usual.”

Cyclonus paused for a moment before ex-venting dramatically. “It appears there was a massive miscommunication between the three of us,” he began, leaning forward slightly and dropping his volume slightly. “Let me make sure this is perfectly clear then.”

Whirl was about 30 seconds from becoming a flustered and embarrassed mess as he stammered out an “okay.”

“Tailgate and I both have developed strong feelings towards you. As it is not in my field of expertise to talk about my feelings or attachments, Tailgate has been trying to drop hints and actively ask you on a date with us or something within that realm of activity. Seeing as we had a little too subtle allow me to be blunt. No jokes. No inuendos. Tailgate and I are interested in perusing a romantic relationship with you and would like to take you on a date of some kind. Are you interested?”

Whirl froze for a minute as he proceessed the words before blurting out “yes!”

Cyclonus smirked as he stood up, grabbing Whirl’s claw and beginning to walk towards the door. “Good. Tailgate is waiting for us.”

The rest of the evening felt like a dream. The three mechs had spent some time at Swerve’s before heading to Cyclonus and Tailgate’s habsuite and spending the evening chatting until eventually they fell into a recharge.

No jokes. No regrets. No inuendos. Just an evening where Whirl finally felt as though he belonged.

[morbid-curiosity-iguess]

First time posting fic on tumblr so I’m horrified lol- anyway have some transformers angst/comfort.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Forgotten

CyWhirlGate

Tailgate, for the most part, had never been happier. He had two loving conjunx enduras, many amazing friends, and traveled the multiverse on countless fantastical adventures. He honestly felt as though he had been blessed by Primus himself- despite not being particularly religious.

However, for all the joy in his world, night terrors continuously plagued his recharge. Realities where he, once again, would sleep for millions of years. Where he would lose all the wonderful mechs he called friends and family. Where he would once again wake up in that cave on cybertron, alone, legless, and dying. Where he was forgotten.

Tailgate never mentioned them to anyone- even his conjunxes. As much as he loved Cyclonus and Whirl, he refused to lean on them for something as silly as a nightmare. They had already dealt with various horrors and traumas- both before and after meeting each other. Besides, tailgate was meant to be the sweet and happy one of the three. The one who- despite everything- bounced back to his childish self as though nothing happened.

No.

Instead he sat on the large berth in the middle of their habsuite in silence only broken by the inner mechanics of himself, cyclonus, and whirl. His optics slowly drifted from one to the other, imprinting the sight into his memory as though he would loose this within the next moments. He softly exhaled as his optics began to burn and oily tears began to form on the rim of his face plate.

Tailgate quietly began to cry, servos raising to clutch the back of his helm as his knees rose up to his chest. He had already lost so many people- back from before the first arc left. Bots whom he considered brothers, bots whom he’d considered friends, he even missed the bots who he would but heads with without fail.

All gone.

Most had died in the war, divided between autobots, decepticons, and neutrals.

Some through murders, or accidents during travels.

And a few from cybercrosis.

All while he was comatose underground.

He was so scared he was going to lose the conjunxes in the same fashion, where he would be unconscious, incapacitated, or otherwise powerless. That they would forget him, despite everything, just as history had.

Tailgate cried for several hours, before deciding to get out of berth and wander around the Lost Light to either clear his head or begin his daily chores, whichever came first.

Eventually other bots began waking up and heading to their respective areas and tailgate put on his happy face. The hours crept on, feeling closer to years before the day began to end and he had begun to make his way to swerves to grab some drinks with the other minicons on the ship before their weekly movie night once swerve had shut down the bar.

After getting a drink (a cup of engex as he didn’t want to get too tipsy) Tailgate quickly caught sight of Rewind, sitting in a smaller table off to one of the corners of the bar, a cup of carbonated engex in on servo and a data pad in the other, and made his way over to the memory stick.

“Hey Rewind!” He called.

“Tailgate! Hey bud, how’s it going” Rewind replied.

“Oh, never been better. How about yourself? You look like ya need a good recharge.”

“Ain’t no rest for the wicked, as they say.” The two minis shared a laugh and they sipped their beverages.

“Fair enough. Whatcha reading? Ya looked either really into it or really zoned out.”

“Just some reports- Magnus and Megatron had wanted me to verify some details since, Y’know:” Rewind gestured with the data pad vaguely to the camera on his helm.

Tailgate only responded with a soft “ah” before taking a sip of his engex and letting a silence settle over the two. Or at least as much silence that the loud as frag bar could have at this time. Rewind continued reading the data pad for a few more minutes before setting it down and looking up at tailgate and clearing his throat.

“Ok, what’s going on tailgate? You’re normally way more chatty- ESPECIALLY before movie night. Plus your optics have been all, Y’know…” rewind paused and rolled his hand for a second. “Staticky? Like whenever you’re about to panic.”

“Nothing!” Tailgate replied, clutching the glass tighter in his servos and slightly curling in on himself. “I have no idea what you’re talking about too.”

“You are actually such a terrible liar ‘gate. You’re acting the same way as back when you first started crushing on tall, dark, and intimidating and he was ignoring you. Same with when Nutjob kept thinking your advances were jokes and brushing you off. Seriously, what’s going on?”

Tailgate didn’t say anything, just stared down at his glass for a minute and curled in on himself more. As much as he loved rewind, who had become a close friend over the years on the lost light, tailgate hated how easily he could dissect his behaviours. “I don’t want to talk about it here- and besides- I’m ok.”

“How about this- let’s go to my habsuite and talk. I’ll let Swerve know to meet us in there for movie night once the bar shuts down. Besides, I don’t want to drink so much the movies glitched.”

Tailgate simply nodded and the two made their way to the bar to flag down Swerve.

“We’re headed to my habsuite- meet us there when ya close up!” Rewind hollered at Swerve, who simply responded with a thumbs up before returning to whatever drink he had been working on.

The walk to the habsuite had never felt so terrible before. While yes- the minis tended to gossip and vent to each other about general and personal issues, this one felt far more personal than simply complaining on how infuriating they were sometimes overlooked or babied based on their size or capabilities. Tailgate has even complained to his companions about how overbearing Whirl and Cyclonus could be, although they were nothing compared to some of the other crew members on board. Eventually though, much to his horror, the duo arrived at the habsuite door and settled on the couch to the side of the room.

“Where even is Chromedome? Isn’t he usually in here until the movie is meant to start?” Tailgate asked.

“He’s out with Brainstorm and Nautica- new weapon they wanted to mess with at the range or something. Now, what is up with you tailgate?”

“Ok- listen- it’s actually really stupid. I’ve just been having some nightmares. The one last night just happened to mess with me a bit is all.”

“Just nightmares?”

“Yeah! Silly right?”

“Not at all! Are you kidding ‘gate? With the scrap we’ve seen it’s pretty much expected- I mean you can just ask Domey how many times I’ve woken up in a panic. Or even how many times he has,” Rewind paused, contemplating his words before continuing. “But this-“ he gestured loosely to Tailgate “is really worrying. You’ve looked on the verge of a panic attack all cycle.”

Tailgate stayed silent, wringing his servos nervously under Rewind’s intense gaze.

Finally, after a minute or so, Rewind dropped his shoulders and placed his servos in his lap- Still facing Tailgate. “Look.. If you want to talk I’m here for you. No judgment, no scolding, and it won’t leave this room. You don’t have to tell me, but you should at least talk to your conjunxes about it- and don’t give me that look- I know for a fact you haven’t told them.”

After a few moments Tailgate softly began to cry. His optics going staticky and oily tears once again falling down his faceplate. “I can’t. They’re already burdened with so much. I can’t give them that extra weight and-“

“Nope.”

“What?”

“Nope. We’re putting a stop to that thinking right now. Tailgate, those two are your partners. When you all preformed conjunx ritus you made a promise to help carry each others loads. ‘Gate- they love you and I know for a fact they want to help you. Honestly they probably know something is up and are waiting for you to tell them.”

Tailgate, once again, went silent. Although after a few moments simply nodded, wiping his optics.

“Ok then,” Rewind nodded before softly clapping his hands. “Why don’t you look for them now, then we can watch the movie after to wind down from the emotions of it all? Either way it’s gonna be a few hours before swerve shuts down.”

“Thank you, Rewind.”

“Pshh, don’t mention it, bud. Now shoo! Imma go try to snag some extra snacks for later.”

After soft goodbyes, Tailgate and rewind parted ways in the halls. After taking a few moments to calm down a bit more, Tailgate quickly sent a quick message to Cyclonus and Whirl to meet in their habbsuite and began to shuffle down the halls.

All too soon he reached the door of his and his conjunx enduras’ room. Once again taking a moment to calm down, before opening the door.

“Tailgate, is everything ok? Are you hurt? Who hurt you? Give me a name and i swear I’ll shoot ‘em!” Shouted Whirl.

“No, I-“ Tailgate began before his words caught in his intake.

“My love what happened?” Asked Cyclonus, more gently than Tailgate had expected after Whirl’s energy.

Tailgate simply choked out a sob before collapsing in on himself, his eyes sparking.

Immediately Whirl and Cyclonus had hurried over to him, Cyclonus wasting no time before picking him up as he and whirl began to fret over him for injuries.

“I’m not- I’m not hurt-“ Tailgate gasped out- doing everything In his power to calm down. His mind rushing as he began to struggle to grasp a single thought, mind only able to focus on needing to tell his conjunxes what was happening, despite being unable to grasp a coherent thought.

“Hush, my love.” Cyclonus mumbled, slowly moving over to the couch with Whirl in tow. The three huddling in a group hug as tailgate tried to collect his thoughts. Cyclonus began gently humming while Whirl rested his claws on tailgates shoulder.

Finally Tailgate calmed enough to gather his thoughts.

“You ok, ‘gate?” Whirl asked finally.

“Yeah… yeah, sorry-“

“None of that,” Cyclonus interrupted tailgates apology swiftly. “Now, what’s going on, little one?”

“I- um- I’ve been having nightmares…” Tailgate mumbled.

“Is that why you were crying this morning?”

Tailgate nodded. “They’re- um- they’re about being forgotten. Like- what if I don’t wake up again- and I loose everyone again? Or- or- or- what if this is all some dream I came up with and I’m still back in that cave?? Or if I go comatose again what if you all forget about me??? Or-“

“Hush.” Cyclonus interrupted his panicked rambling. “It’s ok. These are only scenarios your brain module has concocted to frighten you. However real they feel, they simply aren’t. Right now you are awake, in our arms, and loved so much the thought of loosing you is unbearable.”

“Besides, if we weren’t real. Would ya be able to feel this-“ whirl began before tapping the side of tailgate’s visor, then moving to the top of his head. “Or this? Or this? Orrr-“

“The point is, right now is real. We’re real. And we won’t forget you.” Cyclonus whispers, before softly kissing tailgates servos. Swiftly followed by whirl nuzzling his helmet against tailgate’s in his own version of a kiss.

Tailgate stayed in their arms for a while. Loved and knowing he’d never be forgotten.