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[moronarchivist]

SO I REALLY LIKE THE PENUMBRA PODCAST IF U COULDN’T TELL

spoilers for ep 1– tho if you haven’t listened already WTF ARE U DOING GO DOWNLOAD RN

[moronarchivist]

based on this post which i cant stop thinking about

[moronarchivist]

rotoscoped animation to an audio i scrambled together!

[moronarchivist]

Bouchard but pronounced like Orchard

Anon,,, I forgot the pronunciation of orchard and I just,,, ‘What’s the difference?’ jhsbsjasn

“What.....? the fuck? you want??”

[moronarchivist]

people calling Jon and Martin enemies to lovers feels so weenie… they never even tried to kill each other ffs they’re just coworkers who don’t get along

[moronarchivist]

sapphic worm polycule lets go

[moronarchivist]

“sasha would’ve been so much better as the archivist, she’s way more competent” look me in the eye and tell me sasha “met the distortion man once and then followed him to a spooky spot without telling anyone” james would'nt’ve been just as if not more reckless than jon. he tried to get an anchor when he climbed into the buried, tell me sasha wouldn’t swan dive into that dirt pile without hesitation or preparation. tell me she wouldn’t throw her own body onto the web table to break it out of spite. I say all of this with the utmost affection, she would commit acts of reckless chaos for the greater good and I love that for her

[moronarchivist]

“I don’t like the idea of being important to the Web. That’s a really bad place to be.”

[moronarchivist]

Going through the wikia for something and- 

“When John explores the tunnels below the institute, he sees a white arrow pointing down a set of stairs (MAG 41). This is later revealed to have been drawn by Not-Sasha trying to entice him to explore further and potentially discover Jurgen Leitner living down there (MAG 80).” 

Sorry, what? How did I forget about that. That was the Stranger’s big plan?? Not any kind of evil mind manipulation or big monsters or kidnapping like the other three times, it was…. Draw a big arrow on the floor…. and hope Jon follows it… 

Like it was literally just down there sketching out some arrows and going “Well he can hardly ignore this the curious bastard!” AND THEN IT WORKED. The man is like a fucking Tom and Jerry skit, he just…. god…. he’s so smart… he’s so stupid…. honey… Idk why Nikola bothered to send Breekon and Hope out to nab him, apparently you could put a box labelled “SUSPICIOUS BOX” under a second, larger box and prop it up with a stick and that’s all it takes to catch an Archivist! 

[moronarchivist]

Seeing a link to the cardigan made me genuienly so happy, but the real cardigan isn’t in that sexy green colour and it’s literally 90 euros I hate it here

i was inspired by a cardigan i saw on lazy oaf

[moronarchivist]

jonathan '(fondly) martin says the same thing' sims is absolutely the kind of person to infodump about his boyfriend to anyone who will listen, and now he's in the tunnels with a bunch of people who think georgie and melanie are really sweet, he's going to start getting relationship envy

this man is just sitting there going 'yeah yeah wtgfs are adorable, i'm really happy for them, but look at this jumper :)) guess who knitted this :)) it was martin :)) he's so talented, i'm so lucky'

you know those couples who sign christmas cards 'from the two of us' and always say 'well we think...'

jon is hurtling towards becoming one of those people, while martin is standing there going 'jon, honey, let them be, you can tell them about how you bought us mr and mr mugs for the safehouse later'

[moronarchivist]

Headcanon: Jon is incredibly knowledgeable about a lot of things, and is prone to info dumping about random topics out of nowhere. HOWEVER, he is absolutely garbage at math. Jonathan Sims has to take out his calculator app to do simple addition and subtraction

[moronarchivist]

the magnus archives is a good podcast

[moronarchivist]

Jon’s a weird sleeper. Prove me wrong!

This is happening AS WE SPEAK. 

[moronarchivist]

Jonathan Sims cannot drive. Idk why that is my headcanon but it just feels right. Martin asks him if he wants to drive the first half up to Scotland and he agrees and then immediately backs into a parked car.

[moronarchivist]

I want a Magnus Archives au where everything is the same except all of Jane Prentiss’s worms are worms on strings that she controls like puppets

[moronarchivist]

heartwarming: area man descends into hell in order to reunite woman with werewolf girlfriend